Of Temptation and Despair
by lickANDpromise
Summary: Vampires have finally come out of hiding, Kaname is the face of vampire kind and Yuki's husband. It's five years after the battle with Rido and circumstance, or is it fate, finds Yuki back at the academy where she is forced to confront Zero. Will he force a final confrontation? ZERO/YUKI, SOME FLUFF (eventually), VULGAR LANGUAGE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE and SEXUAL CONTENT. ;)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Okay. So this is my first ever anime fic. I just binge watched the crap out of Vampire Knight and absolutely loved it. Loved it so much that I am re-watching it as I write this. I loved the dynamics between Zero and Yuki so much I just couldn't resist writing a fic about them.**

 **This story starts up five years after the battle at the academy against Rido and the Level E army. Vampires have stepped out of the shadows and into the history books. Kaname is the face of vampire-kind, a politician, bit of an arrogant ass-hat, and Yuki's husband among other things. You'll get a lot of insight into how the life of politics has treated Yuki and carved her into a new woman, unfamiliar to Zero. I hope you enjoy it!**

 **CHAPTER ONE**

Hanabusa exited the plane before I did, insisting on getting all the way to the bottom of the steps before allowing me to exit. Ruka brought up the rear. The last four years have been hell on all the vampires, particularly Ruka and Hanabusa. For the most part they have acted as my own personal guard at the insistence of Kaname, of course. No one who has ever guarded me would tell you it is an easy job. I didn't envy them. It wasn't until Hanabusa went to get the car that I saw the first flash of a camera. Air port security flooded in as if that one lone camera had summoned them. Since vampires had come into the lime light the figureheads of governments nearly all across the world had agreed that it was in their best interest to make sure us vampires came under as little harm as possible. No one wanted to be the one responsible for a blood feud or anything of the like. In the time it took security to make a human wall of flesh in front of me the press had already begun pushing in against them. Ruka spun me so that the cameras could only see my back and then she stood, back against mine, facing the crowd. Come on, Hanabusa! I thought furiously at him to hurry the hell up. I hated this shit! It was why I had wanted to get away so badly.

"Mrs. Kuran, is it true that Mr. Kuran is negotiating a vampire civil rights amendment with the Prime Minister of Russia?"

"With all the recent threats against your lives, why are you and Mr. Kuran parting ways for the first time in four years? Why now?" This was the question that changed the tide from political to personal.

"Are you and Mr. Kuran splitting up?" The cameras exploded and a flurry of questions were screamed at me. Great.

"What's it like to be Mrs. Kuran?" _If you idiots would live your own life maybe mine wouldn't suck so bad!_ I wanted to yell at them but dared not respond. I had learned really quickly in the past four years how anything you do or say in front of the media, no matter how small, will always be misconstrued when you read it in the morning tabloids. As a result I'd gotten really good at simply giving them nothing. No answers, no facial expressions...nothing. Anything would do, but if I could help it they would get nothing from me.

"How is he in bed?" Heard that one before.

"Is vampire sex better than sex with a human?" I wouldn't actually know the answer to that question. I'd never had sex with a human.

"How big is he?" The questions got more and more perversely personal and I did my best to ignore them all. There was one women, fighting her way to the front to be heard above the rest, the same woman who had been all about the politics.

"There is a rumor floating around that you and Mr. Kuran are using sex to smooth over vampire/human relations. Can you either confirm or deny this?" I shook my head and smiled into my hand, trying my best to hide from the cameras. The rumor mill was such an odd creature.

"Have you any idea how seriously this accusation could damage your image as influential politicians?" My smile slipped away in the shadow of my growing anger. Hanabusa really needed to get me out of here. Ms. Insistent had finally pushed her way to the front so that she was pressed nearly full length against one of the security officers.

"Fine. You won't answer my political questions. How about telling us whether it's true that you're back in Japan to visit a high school lover?" I hadn't paid enough attention to her, so she was getting bitchy. Figures. I couldn't stop the quick skip of my heart and fought to keep my face blank. The only thing that might have given me away is the long blink I couldn't prevent. If the cameras could have seen, even that might have been enough. "Are you cheating on Mr. Kuran, Mrs. Kuran?" She put a little too much emphasis on the _Mrs_. The crowd exploded with questions in unison with their flashbulbs and microphones popping up around the security wall like mushrooms after the rain. I cursed her under my breath. I could already see the headlines. My PR agent was going to flip her shit. Ruka's phone rang and she picked it up.

"Hurry...I don't care what you have to do, Hanabusa...Just get here..." She cursed vehemently. "Fuck...get here now!" She twirled me in against her so that her body shielded mine and began moving us quickly away from the crowd that had grown so violent that one of the security officers was down on the ground. I smelled the blood but Ruka kept us moving too fast for me to see much of anything else. We were running, fast but awkwardly as Ruka forced my body to stay huddled in the center of hers so that I was as small a target as I could get. A black Escalade screeched to a halt in front of us. Ruka rotated us so that her side connected with the side of the car. We had been moving too fast for her to stop on a dime, not while half carrying me at least. Hanabusa kicked open the door.

"Get in, get in get in! Hurry up, they're coming!" Not two hundred feet behind him was a mob of press about to swarm like locusts over us. I dove in the open door while Hanabusa jumped back behind the wheel. Ruka slammed the door as he gunned it and both of us were thrown against the seat as the car accelerated. There was yet another crowd of locusts at the gate. I waited for the car to slow down but when I felt it jerk forward I grabbed onto the front seat and pulled myself forward so I could see the side of Hanabusa's face.

"What are you doing?" I half yelled.

"I'm not stopping."

"Hanabusa, if you kill them our whole campaign will be shot to shit! You have to stop." He shook his head.

"I made the mistake of stopping before. They swarmed the car, thinking you were already inside it. That's why it took me so long to get to you." Ruka put her hand on his shoulder and his eyes flicked briefly towards her in the mirror before he focused back on the quickly disappearing tarmac.

"Hanabusa-" He shook his head.

"No, Ruka. I will not suffer the wrath of Lord Kaname for this." he gripped the wheel a little more solidly. "I'm not stopping." Ruka stared at him for a moment.

"Buckle up, Lady Yuki." Ruka said to me while staring at Busa.

"Hanabusa, you must stop!" Ruka grabbed my upper arms and pushed me, not violently but still forcefully, back into the seat.

"They will move. Now buckle your seat belt, Yuki." I glared at her before buckling myself in. She slumped a little in relief.

"You too, Ruka." I said. She buckled in and we both watched the crowd loom closer and closer.

"Ruka?" I nearly growled out

"Yeah?" Hanabusa began laying on the horn.

"Move! Get out the way!" He yelled, waving his arms like they could see him as we sped toward them. My heart raced as individual details of the people in our way became more clear.

"They had better fucking move." My voice was quiet, squeezed tight with too much emotion. Ruka looked at me, a laugh escaping her, more from the pressure of the moment than humor. I thought they wouldn't move but at the last second the crowd parted like a curtain. They had finally realized we weren't stopping. One photographer stood his ground a little too close to the path of the car, snapping photos of us speeding towards him. Hanabusa swore loudly as he swerved just in time, narrowly missing the man. I took a huge lungful of air in relief, realizing only then how long I'd been holding my breath, expecting the impact. The car wove in and out of traffic in maneuvers one would be hard pressed to classify as legal. We screeched to a halt inside a garage and poured from the car to the waiting Olive green SUV. We were back on the road, the full switch taking all of forty seconds. Back in the beginning of all this, when Kaname first became the face of Vampires I might have spent the rest of the drive to the academy scolding Ruka and Hanabusa for all the ridiculous shenanigans. Now I just sat quietly in the back seat watching the human world blur through the too-tinted glass and wondered, not for the first time, if Zero would try to fulfill the promise he made me when I chose Kaname over him.

" _The next time I see you, I'll kill you."_ Tears stung my eyes. We'll see, Zero. We shall see.

 **...A short while later at the Academy...**

I hesitated just outside the closed office door of Headmaster Cross, taking a breath so deep my chest shuddered, and I still felt like I was suffocating. I held that breath as I reached for the door. My fingers had just wrapped around the knob when it twisted and the door whooshed open revealing Headmaster Kaien Cross. His blonde hair was loose, framing the fine, handsome lines of a face that looked half the age I knew it to be.

"YUKI!" Tears filled his eyes and the first one spilled over as he yanked me into his arms. His embrace was crushing, more so then usual. That staticky pressure began to fill my head and my eyes tingled from his intense embrace squeezing the air out of me. "You've come back home to me!" I gasped in a breath.

"Can't...breathe..." I gasped out. He chuckled and loosened his hold on me, but held me still. I took a couple quick lungfuls of air and finally wrapped my arms around his narrow waist, returning the hug. I allowed myself to relax into his arms, closing my eyes and simply enjoying being close to him again.

I had missed him much more than I thought. I hadn't really let myself dwell on what had happened my last semester at this academy. No, I'd boxed it away and tried to live this new life of blinding lights, passive smiles and forgotten nights. This was not a life I'd ever wanted. I held the man I knew as father close for the first time in nearly five years and let myself remember again. For the first time ever he was the first to attempt to break the embrace. When I held onto him, obviously showing no intention of moving I felt a fine tension thrum through his body. He slowly wrapped his arms around me again.

"Yuki?" There was no humor, just concern, fear and something like anger. I shook my head and pulled back, moving around him to flop in one of the two new chairs in front of his desk.

"Are you okay?" I smiled and leaned back so that my head rested against the rounded, top of the chair. My eyes were sliding shut.

"I'm great. I guess I just missed you much more than I let myself realize. And all this excitement has me-" His hands wrapped around my shoulders, pinning my arms to my sides as he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me completely clear of the chair.

"Oh, Yuki! I missed you too!" I nodded as much as I could and fought to push the flat of my arms between us, prying my chest away from him enough to take a few deep breaths. I shoved at him a little.

"I can't breathe!" His laughter made his eyes gleam and he let me go so abruptly I stumbled back a step, bumping into the chair I had been in. His hand was just there, a firm hold around my wrist, stopping me from falling back onto the chair. He moved so that he was sitting on the top of his desk.

"You haven't changed much." His voice thick with the afterglow of all that laughter. I couldn't help but smile. Oh, I had changed in many ways, some of which he would not like in the slightest. But I smiled to hide that and let him believe I was the same person I had once been.

"Neither have you, head-" I stopped, seeing his face fall into that so cute frown, he was absolutely adorable when he looked like that. "Father." I finished. His face lit up, smile so wide I found myself smiling along with him. He'd always been able to simply smile and I couldn't help but do the same. I laughed. Oh how I'd missed him. He settled onto the desk, crossing his legs under him.

"Now, Yuki, we have many things to discuss." I nodded, the humor fading away.

"Indeed, we do. Let's start with why I'm here."

"I know why you're here." I cocked my head with a raised eyebrow as if saying _oh?_ "Lord Kaname called me while you were en route and told me that he was sending you as his other half to see if you could perfect the school and what it stands for. If it is successful he said you proposed to build similar schools on an international scale in an attempt to better vampire/human relations." I nodded.

"That's correct." He stared at me as if he were tasting the truth of my words and it was a bitter flavor.

"That's truly why you came back here?" I raised an eyebrow and nodded once.

"Yes." He shook his head, shoulders rounding as he slouched in upon himself.

"And what of Zero?" I felt my eyes widen and my breathing quicken at the mention of his name. I hadn't expected this topic to be broached so soon. I forced my face back into the neutrality I had perfected in the last five years.

"What of him?" My voice sounded as bland as I'm sure my face looked. His head snapped up and for the first time in a very long while I saw real anger in his eyes.

"Don't be so callous, Yuki. I don't think I need remind you of the promise he made you before you left." I stared calmly at him as my stomach began dropping into my feet. "I am glad to see you, believe me I am more than ecstatic to finally see my daughter again."

"I remember it just fine." The words carried just a hint of heat to them and I forced myself to take a deep, supposedly calming breath.

"Then why are you here?"

"You already know." He slammed the palm of his left hand into the desk top hard enough that the wood groaned in protest.

"Why are you really here?" His voice betrayed none of the anger burning in his eyes. It was an impressive display of self restraint that not even I was capable of. Once you could see the anger in my eyes it was sure to be reflected in everything else. I stared calmly at him as if he hadn't asked me a thing. I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear but whatever it was he clearly wasn't getting it. "Why would you put Zero, put me in this position, Yuki? I didn't think you'd risk coming back here for anything short of desperate measures. You want him to kill you?" He was pissed now, voice trembling with all that emotion.

"Of course not." My voice still sounded calm, I'd pat myself on the back for that later, but my stomach was twisting like a serpentine vice.

"You think he won't keep his word." No question, just a statement. I couldn't keep myself from looking away. I spoke to him while analyzing the turquoise curtains hanging over the tall window.

"In truth I thought that maybe-"

"Maybe, what? Maybe he loves you enough that he is unable to kill you?" I swallowed hard and nodded. That was exactly what I thought. I stopped lying to myself a long time ago about my feelings for Zero. I loved him. I loved him too much to ever fulfill a promise like the one he made me. It might have been incredibly naive to think he loved me the same, but life is all about chances, circumstance and personal decisions, right? I was taking a leap of faith here and hoping something saved me before I had a rude meet and greet with the jagged rock bottom. He scoffed and slid off the desk, walking away from me to look out the window.

"Did you ever consider what might happen if Zero does try to kill you?" I shrugged, not that he could see it.

"I won't _let_ him kill me. If he does try to do just that I plan on fighting back." I watched all that blonde hair swish across the tops of his shoulders as he shook his head again.

"But you won't be able to kill him, Yuki. I don't think you have it in you to kill someone you love." In truth I didn't think so either. You could only defend your life from someone if you were willing to take theirs in return. I didn't think I'd ever be ready for that. Then again, I'd done countless things in the last five years that I never would have fathomed possible.

"I am capable of a lot more than you think." He whirled around and I flinched back a little at the pure rage on his face.

"Dammit, Yuki! This isn't a game!" I stood up, finally angry enough that my fingers trembled with the rush of it.

"No it's not. Not everything is about, Zero, Headmaster. Perfecting this school and what it stands for could change the face of vampire/human relations. It is something I feel must be done."

"Then let Kaname do it!"

"Why? Why should he have to do everything, huh? I just stand around and look pretty, make his image even more socially flawless. Did you know that a man who is married is more socially accepted in politics?" I waited until he nodded before continuing. "Why can't I handle something for once?" He stared at me for a long minute while I took several deep breaths, attempting to win back my composure.

It did make me mad to be the ornament decorating Kaname's arm. The pretty face that when paired with his made him look like the perfect politician. He was the mouthpiece, the figurehead. I was a prop to be played with to optimum advantage. Fuck that. I was tired of being carted from country to country, city to city, facing the endless hoard of media, anywhere we went. He got all the attention whenever we were together, but the second I was alone the media swarmed, poking and prodding at the quiet prop, trying to get me to squeak, give them anything they could use. Despite perfecting my stone face, they still kept at it. It made my lonely explorations of endless foreign cities a game of hide and seek, me versus a tide of cameras and microphones.

"You couldn't have handled something else?" I scoffed and flopped back in the chair. I closed my eyes and counted to twenty. It was a long twenty because the silence stretched between us, more tense than it had ever been.

"Why can't I have just missed my family? Is that not good enough an excuse?" He harrumphed at that.

"Not when half of your said family is going to attempt to kill you. Is your political ambition worth your life, Yuki?" I smiled at his complete ignorance. I couldn't give a fuck about politics. It was a game I was nearly homicidally fed up with. The politics of being here was a cover. No. My political ambition wasn't enough to get me killed, I had none. Kaname's ambition however, was enough to drive me to homicide, at the high end of the spectrum, suicide, on the low end. Four years of this shit and I was ready to lose my fucking mind.

"No it is not." He made a triumphant noise. "But love is." The room was so silent I could hear him breathing, hear his heart playing skip-bo against his ribs. I opened my eyes to see him propping himself up against the wall. "If we can't die for love, tell me, what can we die for?" His eyes filled with tears but not a single one broke free. He nodded and turned away to look back out the window, shoulders rounded so that he could hug his arms around his stomach. My heart clenched at seeing him like this but I didn't regret my decision to come back. Not yet. I stood and made my way to the door, unable to watch him hug himself, knowing he was probably crying. I froze, the door just barely cracked as he finally spoke.

"Let me just ask you one question. If Zero does kill you, what do you think he'll then do to himself?" I fought to pull in my next lungful of air past my throbbing lump in the back of my throat, eyes stinging with tears. It hurt too much to think about that. "You might not care about your life, but what about Zero's?" If I was wrong and Zero didn't love me as much as his hatred for vampires I wouldn't be the only one who would lose. I ignored the question's and asked one of my own.

"I'm going to assume that while I'm on campus you, like Kaname, will insist on a near constant guard on me?"

"Lord Kaname did express such concerns. And he is right to insist on such things. The academy will be wild with news of Lady Kuran living among us." I frowned, turning to face him. It sounded like their was a but coming.

"But?" I prompted.

"But what?" his voice was as flat as mine had begun.

"You said Kaname insisted on the guard, but that didn't answer my question." He was absolutely still. "You won't insist on the guard, will you." He was so still I thought he might disappear if I weren't looking right at him.

"You are no longer a child and, as much as I hate the concept, there are things you will need to do that do not require an audience. No. I will not insist on any guard. There are none here on campus that could adequately defend you, anyway. However, I will not, nor can I, say anything about the vampire guards he insisted you bring with you. They are an issue I leave entirely up to you to contend with." I nodded, more to myself than anything.

"What will you tell Kaname if he asks about extra guard?"

"The campus is under more threat from the outside world now, than it has ever been. I'm sure as one of the leading international politicians I don't need to regale you with tales of the horrors that came with the unveiling." That is what the human media called us vampires coming out from under the bed. The unveiling. I couldn't dispute the terminology, but somehow I always smiled at hearing it.

"No you don't." The unveiling brought both a huge cry of support from the masses as well as kick-starting the vampire hunter revolution. The Vampire hunters numbers nearly quadrupled in the four years we'd gone public. They killed in shadows, as they had always done. The legal system was a little uncertain if it was illegal to kill vampires yet, so in the eyes of law enforcement vampire hunters were vigilantes at worst, heroes at best. Then there was the wannabe vampire hunters, who were, sloppy and poorly trained cannon fodder that kept endlessly proving to be a PR disaster. It's hard to make people see you as anything but a monster if your people are leaving a trail of bodies behind them, even if it's in defense of your own life. We were on the brink of all-out war with vampire hunters in the shadows while trying to maintain a pleasant smile for the dazzle of the human cameras.

"I have upped the campus security. The Security committee acts like campus security now, the numbers in the low twenties. I have hired vampires to guard the barrier to the school as an extra precaution. I will simply tell Kaname the guards I have are protecting the school, considering the circumstances, and even if I had them to spare, I employ none to which I would entrust your life."

"And if he decides to send more guards to me?" He turned just enough so I could see the beginnings of his profile.

"Like I said before, you're a big girl, I'm sure you can contend with your husband's guard choices on your own." I stared at that sliver of profile for a moment before nodding. I turned back to the door, opening it so that I stood framed in the dim, hallway lighting. I paused there.

"Good night, father." He didn't respond so I stepped through the door and closed it behind me.

"Good night, Yuki." I heard his mumbled words through the door and smiled as I began making my way down the hallway. I'd managed to convince Busa and Ruka to let me talk to the headmaster alone so I got to walk back with nothing but me, myself and I chasing each other through my mind. Alone, with just my thoughts, I suddenly couldn't wait to get back to the room.

 **...Nearly a week later...**

I had been at the academy for almost a week and still had yet to see Zero. I was beginning to think he might be avoiding me. The schools first dance of the school year was approaching and I was about to pass out from exhaustion. Kaname had made our image, yes, our image, into a bit of a publicity slut. He was always ensuring that we were reaching out to the community, making sure the cameras caught every good deed. "It's good PR." He'd say. I had quickly caught on and allowed myself to be washed, brushed, painted and primped for any and every event that might provide even the slightest image boost. Now here I was, volunteering myself to dance among the students at the academy. I had learned 4 new dances in as many days, so as not to make a fool of myself by not knowing any of them when the time came. The greatest part was that Kaname had insisted that Hanabusa and Ruka join me in this dance endeavor so that none of us seemed unapproachable. So, my mighty body guards limped behind me, seemingly more exhausted than myself.

"Ridiculous..." Ruka mumbled for the hundredth time. "We are bodyguards, vampires! Not twerking buddies!" Hanabusa chuckled tiredly but said nothing, unusual for him. It must have been a rougher four days than I'd thought if Busa was giving up a chance to be a smart-ass.

They walked me to the Headmaster's guest quarters where I was staying, temporarily I am told, until they finish "cleaning up" a room in the dorm originally used for night class students. Hanabusa and Ruka were sharing a room about three doors down from mine, despite the plethora of rooms. They'd told me it was for security purposes so they could both get to me if I needed them. I was just waiting for the peace treaty between them to expire. In such close quarters along with their polar personalities, I doubted it would be long. They left me once the door was closed solidly behind me and all three locks were slammed home. I leaned back against the door and took a deep breath, trying to expel some of the day's tension. I began peeling off layers. When I wore nothing but my underwear I plugged in my alarm clock/ Bose speaker, sliding my phone onto the cradle. After spending so much time in the U.S., since they were both one of the most accepting and tricky to deal with where V/H relations were concerned, I had picked up quite the taste for music genres most people hadn't even heard of. Enigma's "The cross of Changes" came on and I stopped simply to listen to the liquid flow of the instrumental, eyes closing for a minute. Enigma had been a group for a few decades now and until about my fifth venture to the U.S., though they are a German group, I had never known about them.

I turned the music up so I'd be able to hear it clearly over the shower, which meant it was pretty loud. I didn't care. The headmaster sound proofed almost every room designated for guests and faculty, so no one would be bothered. I moved about my room, taking clothes out of my bag, which was still mostly unpacked. I grabbed my towel and moved toward the bathroom, draping it across the towel rack next to the shower. I turned the water to a near scalding temperature. When I closed the glass shower door it was already fogging up. I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin.

Zero stood in the doorway. My heart was a choking lump in the back of my throat, every heartbeat nudging it further up until it filled my mouth. The blood rushing through my veins quickened, laced with an adrenaline high I'd never felt before. I felt light and airy as I watched him watch me. We were alone in a completely soundproofed room locked from the inside. I was nearly naked, weaponless, vulnerable. If ever he was going to kill me, now would be the perfect opportunity. I fought to breathe through the growing fog and my racing heart. Would he kill me?

I looked him over. His style of dress hadn't changed much. He wore a white button down made of some light-weight material that was thin enough I could see a hint of his skin underneath it, gaping open so that the beginning of his pectoral muscles peeked around the collar like a coy schoolgirl. His pants were the typical black, but they fit his thighs and hips like a second skin, billowing out slightly at the knee to provide the look of looser pants. I was fascinated with the way the chain draped through the belt loops around his hips. A charm dangled down so that it swayed over that precious hollow where hip and thigh met. His silver hair framed his face, falling around his eyes, framing them like the curtain eye lashes wished to be. I was breathing too fast as something clenched inside me, low and hard. I knew that reaction. I shook my head and tried to ignore my body.

He took a few steps into the bathroom and I fought to simply stay in place. Not to run, either to him or away, it was hell on the nerves to just stand there. I waited for him to say something, do something but he just stared as he stalked, no word would better suit his undoubtedly predatorial gait, closer to me. He was close enough now that I could just barely, not so much hear as feel, his boots on the floor, the vibration of the connection between sole and ground. He stopped half a foot away from me and I couldn't help feeling powerless, breathless, hopeless and hopeful, embarrassed, vulnerable, scared and something I definitely didn't want to think about. I looked up the long length of his body so that I had the courage to meet his eyes when I got there.

"Did you forget about me?" His voice rumbled through me and I finally met his eyes. I sighed, without meaning to, remembering staring into that gorgeous face day after day. Those eyes, the silver of his hair but twice as mercurial with a splash of lavender, dazzling.

"Never." My response was a breathless whisper. He couldn't have heard it. He leaned down to me, hair brushing my cheek. I could smell the soap he used and new no other man would ever perfect the scent the way he did.

"You've changed...Yuki." He hesitated on my name, as if it was a surrender of some sort. I nodded, his hair tingling across my cheek as I moved. "Five years and you've nothing to say to me?" I swallowed hard and tried to think. This is not how I imagined meeting Zero again.

"Why are you so close?" I actually felt his lips whisper across my skin in a light caress as he smiled. He was really close. He took a step closer, our bodies nearly touching, forcing him to stand up to complete the movement. I took a shuddering breath as his lips moved away from the tender flesh of my neck. He tried to move closer to me and I finally took a step back. My body already trembled for him, if we were that close I didn't know what would happen. I didn't think I wanted to be that vulnerable with him right now. I backed up as he moved forward until my back pressed into the warming glass of the shower. He slid his body against mine, pinning me against the glass. I gasped, and looked down as my eyes slid shut for just a moment.

"Why are you so close, Zero?" I repeated around the pulse in my throat. His body moved away from mine and I was suddenly staring into his eyes from centimeters away. I stopped breathing and couldn't help glancing at the pale pink curl of those lips. He smiled and slid his lips along my jaw until his nose brushed the hollow just behind my ear.

"Breathe." He whispered. I shivered and took a breath I forgot I needed.

"What are you doing, Zero?" My words were nothing but a winded whisper.

"An experiment." He breathed against my ear. My heart was racing, breath a precious commodity I struggled to obtain. His lips traced lightly up the large vein in my neck and my head moved back on its own to give him more access. I tried to correct that subconscious mistake but his fingers were suddenly against my throat, just under my jaw, holding my head in place, other arm wrapping around my lower back as he pulled my body flush with his, my feet dangling helplessly above the floor. I bit my lower lip, fighting back the moan threatening to break free. I shivered in his arms, one hand finding its way into his hair, so soft and thick as it slid through my fingers. Maybe I did want to be vulnerable for him. I tried to reason with myself, my body.

I didn't want to reason. I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist as he buried his fangs, and other parts, deep into my body. I nearly bit my lip off trying to keep from moaning. The hard brush of his fangs grazed his favorite biting spot about halfway down my neck. When I had been feeding Zero twice a week he'd bitten into the same spot so often that it was _his_ biting spot. As a result of all those vampire endorphins that spot on my neck was permanently sensitive. My whole body tensed against his, a jolt of pleasure arcing from my neck to pool between my thighs, breath leaving me on a soft moan. All those times he'd held me close as my body sustained him. I wanted it. I wanted that and so much more, right now. Kaname's bite never did even this much to me. The mention of his name startled through me. Oh god. Kaname. I tried to swim back into myself.

"Zero-" He opened his mouth wide and I froze as the points of his fangs dimpled my flesh. I fought to keep still, to keep my hand buried in his hair from urging him on, to keep my legs dangling where they were. I stopped breathing as he bit down ever so gently. He made a small noise, a breath of sound at the back of his throat and my fingers clenched tighter in his hair, an involuntary response on my part. He paused there, fangs nearly breaking my skin. Just a little more, clamp down just a little more. I wanted that bite, I wanted...What did I want? I fine tremor started in his jaw, I felt it in his teeth on my neck. He wanted to do it. I wanted him to do it. All we needed was a nudge. Wasn't there something I should remember?

"If-" I had to stop and swallow a few times before I could finish speaking. "If you're going to feed than feed." I spoke low, trying not to cause him to break skin. I wanted this, but Zero had to as well. I wouldn't have it any other way. His breath scalded my skin in rapid gusts. He was fighting the urge to feed. I felt it in the fine tremble of his body against mine. How long had he been going between feedings? I ran my fingers through his hair.

"It's okay, Zero." He started to bite down, my body reacted on its own. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders tighter, the hand in his hair full of silken silver. Pleasure spiked through me in anticipation of what was to come. He was suddenly gone and I fell to my knees, catching myself with a hand on the floor to prevent an ugly face-plant. I crouched on the floor, body thrumming with desire...need.

Zero was standing next to the door, back plastered to the wall like he would try to push through it. His eyes were a sparkling, rich red. Framed by all that silver it looked like someone had planted two giant garnets in his face and poured the sun through them, while his hair shone like the pale of the moon. Those eyes were all for me, watching me as I stood, running down my body from my eyes down. It was a long look, one that made me want to walk over to him and slake every hunger he had.

His eyes, when they finally found mine again, were filled with that darkness that fills a mans eyes before he devours you. Did I want what his eyes promised? Oh, hell yes! I'd wanted it for what felt like so long, I'd just never given myself over to it. He shook his head, eyes widening as I stepped forward.

"Stay." His voice was throaty and a little breathy. I shivered just hearing him speak. His eyes closed as he thumped his head back into the wall, throat convulsing as I watched. He turned to leave and I took a step toward him.

"Don't." I stopped.

"Was the experiment a success?" He was quiet for so long I thought he wouldn't answer. He opened the door, and only when he was closing it behind him did he answer.

"No." He glanced over his shoulder at me, eyes wandering my face for a moment. "Don't worry, Yuki. I won't kill you." Right before the door clicked closed I heard him say, "Tonight."

Only after a few minutes of staring at the closed door where he'd been did I finally move. I wobbled over to the toilet seat and fell onto it as my knees gave. My body was sensitive, thrumming with denied pleasure. I dropped my head into my hands, breathing deeply, trying to still my body. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! What was I doing? I see Zero once, just once, and nearly cheat on Kaname? What the fuck is wrong with me? I wanted him so badly that I forgot everything else. As the music began to filter back into my conscious I realized I had been so intent on Zero that nothing else had existed. I'd heard his voice from across the room over the shower and the music blaring from my phone.

My legs shivered with a fine tremble as I slipped off what remained of my clothes and finally got my shower. The water was too hot, burning my skin, but I stood under the scalding rain. No mater how hard I scrubbed, how many times I washed my skin or how long I stood under the water, I couldn't wash away the feeling of his body against mine. The smell of his skin, the crisp smell of a fall breeze accented by a hint of something floral, was in my nose and no soap could wash it out. I stepped out of the shower and dried my skin, reddened from the heat, and hair as much as I cared to, which currently wasn't much. The satin of the sheets against my newly sensitized skin was amazing. My nipples hardened instantly where the sheets brushed over them. It was too soon after my encounter with Zero and my body tightened in anticipation of something I'd never have. I forced myself to lay still. To close my eyes and take deep even breaths. My body was still swollen with need, mind racing. I sighed and rolled onto my stomach. It was going to be a long night.

… **...**

He grabbed my wrists, pushing my arms up as he pinned my body to the wall, feet dangling inches off the floor. I could feel him pressed in a long, muscled line of heat against the back of me, the cool tile pressed against my front providing a pleasant contrast. His fingers pinned my wrists to the wall, holding me passive. My body warmed for him in ways I had only experienced when I worked myself up. I gasped as he bent his head down and ran his tongue up my neck, shivering in anticipation.

"Zero-" His fangs bit in and my eyes widened from the intense flash of pain, quickly swept away on the tide of endorphins he was pumping through my system. Vampire saliva carried thousands of pleasure endorphins to pacify their victims with overwhelming pleasure. My muscles loosened, body going limp against his as the endorphins raged through me. My whole body pulsed with pleasure with each draw of his mouth. My breathing was quickening in time with my body. I was suddenly very aware how excited Zero was where he pressed in an incredibly hard line against my lower back. I rotated my hips against him and he moaned a little for me. I moaned as he dug his fangs a little deeper, rolling my hips back against him again. He shoved me forward into the wall a little more, driving forward with his hips, a clear message not to move that left me breathless. I didn't know if I could. Feeding took a long time, despite what the humans love to put on the silver screen. That means that a lot of endorphins were rushing through me, bringing me closer and closer to climax as each wave seemed to run over an unknown pleasure spot deep inside me.

"Oh..." I gasped out as my world began to narrow down to the building orgasm. I tried to keep my body still against him, tried not to let him know what he was doing to me. The pleasure crested and hesitated, like that hesitation at the peak of a roller coaster right before you hear the break release. The break didn't get that chance today. My feet were suddenly flat on the floor, his body moved away from mine and I had to fight to keep my feet. I fought not to make a sound, not to move a muscle as my body screamed, seized in denial. My legs shook, forcing me to press into the wall harder to stay standing.

"Did I hurt you?" I shook my head, that was all I could offer in way of response.

"Don't worry, Yuki." I frowned through the endorphins.

"What?"

"I won't kill you." I turned to see him standing there gun pointed at me. My heart dropped into my feet as I saw that cold look in his eyes, my blood still trailing from the corner of his mouth. "Today." He threw his head back and laughed right before the gun exploded in his hand and the world swam in streamers.

I sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath.

"Fuck." I breathed. The satin sheet pooled around my naked body as I stared off into the darkness of my room. What was wrong with me? I was sliding across the bed when I heard a loud bang on the door.

"Lady Yuki?" I sighed and nearly slipped off the edge of the bed trying to get my robe on as I moved.

"I'm coming, Ruka." Another bang on the door.

"Lady Yuki, are you alright?" Hanabusa this time.

"I said-" I froze and laughed at myself. I'd forgotten they couldn't hear me. I padded to the door and shot back the locks, swinging the door open for the two vampires.

"Come in." I said. Busa's eyes widened.

"Ah!...Ummm..." He turned around and made cute little awkward noises. I glanced down to see I hadn't fully fastened my robe. There was a pale line of flesh exposed down between my breasts nearly to my belly button.

"Oh." I chuckled as I fastened the robe tight. "Sorry, Busa." Ruka rolled her eyes and strode past me into the room.

"S'okay." He mumbled. Hanabusa was acutely uncomfortable around me in various states of undress. I found that particular characteristic utterly endearing about him. I laughed and turned away to find Ruka sitting on the edge of my bed, watching me move across the room. Her eyes were serious, amused and curious.

"Hanabusa, go get Lady Yuki the letter." She never looked away from me.

"Oh! Y-yes! Sure!" He darted off, closing the door firmly behind him in his rush to be anywhere else.

"Yes, Ruka?" I began gathering clothes for the day as she watched me.

"You smell like, sex, Yuki." I paused in grabbing a bra for only a moment, nothing more. "What have you been doing in here while all the whos down in whoville were asnooze in their beds?" Her voice was light with some personal joke.

"What's funny?" The smile faded from her face.

"Answer my question, Yuki...please." The please was an obvious afterthought but still, it got me to answer her question. Sort of.

"I just had a very...hot dream." I put a lot of emphasis on _hot_. When I turned around she was right behind me. She leaned in and sniffed up the side of my neck in a very not-human gesture. I shoved her back, anger kindling to life at the invasion.

"Hmmmmm..." She licked her lips. "A _hot_ dream about...Zero?" My pulse sped. I fed my anger until I looked at her with a level of rage she hadn't earned.

"You are not here to question me, Ruka. And the next time you invade my privacy like you just did I will personally punish you." Her eyes widened a bit.

"I would never dream of questioning you, Yu- Lady Yuki." I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you call this then?" She opened her mouth to say something then closed it. I watched that pretty face narrow down to angry lines as she nodded.

"Fine. I am here to protect your body, Lady Yuki, not your love life. I will stay out of your personal life until I am necessary." She strode over to the door, covering the distance from bed to exit in six very angry strides. "I will await you out here." I sighed and turned to talk to her.

"Ruka-" The door closed with a click of finality, not loud but solid, cutting off my words. "Damn." I grumbled to myself as I began tugging on clothes. I wished I would have said that differently but I needed no one to know about last night. No one could know.

It was difficult when you considered your bodyguards to be among your closest friends. Who ever thought mixing the two was a good idea? The line of obligation between friend and boss was a thin, tricky fucker indeed.

 **...Two hours, three coffees and one killer headache later...**

"The numbers of students in the day class are ever dwindling with Japan's reluctance to recognize vampires as anything but monsters. We need to improve the school's outreach programs."

"Absolutely not! My students have been put in enough danger as it is. I will not roll out the red carpet for those that would harm them just so you can get some good PR." This conversation was pissing me off.

"If you aren't willing to help, headmaster, then why am I here."

"I don't know, Yuki. Why _are_ you here?" I scoffed and shook my head.

"I will not indulge this ridiculous line of conversation again."

"You never really 'indulged' it before." I switched subjects back to the issue at hand.

"We need this, headmaster." His face was flushed a bright pink and he hadn't once told me to call him father since we'd begun discussing this issue nearly an hour ago. Yeah. He was pissed. I was just pissing everyone off today.

"No. I won't allow it"

"If we can just reach out to the communities closest to the school, maybe set up some fund-raisers, start up a committee to organize public outreach events-"

"No!" He glared at me, standing in front of the chair he had long since vacated. "I bankrolled nearly the whole construction of this academy from my own pockets. Built all of this on the basis of a dream that vampires and humans could live in peace."

"I know-" He cut me off.

"As founder and headmaster of Cross Academy it is my responsibility, my duty, to see that my students are safe." He shook his head. "I will not succeed. I won't be able to save everyone. Not now or probably ever again." He paused and took a deep breath. "If I let you do this, you'd be putting a neon target over the academy and if I can't protect my students I'd just as soon send them home." I sighed and slid down in the chair, pinching the bridge of my nose between thumb and forefinger.

"Then we have one hell of a conundrum on our hands. We have to bolster the numbers of the day class. There are nearly double the night class students than the day class. For this model to work we need much more sufficient numbers, not for them to drop even more." Zero shifted in his corner, drawing my attention. He'd been propped in the darkest corner of the room, silent the whole time. I'd been attempting to ignore the weight of his gaze on me, succeeding up to this point.

"What do you propose we do?" I yanked my gaze away from him back to the headmaster. I thought for a moment.

"I think you should lasso a few of your faculty members into doing some quiet telemarketing to potential student candidates. Get some feelers out there to see how many are receptive and how many aren't." I looked over the shadowed silhouette of Zero. "As for you, Zero, Being the head of the guardians you should search for more vampire muscle. Maybe begin training them up a little better."

"This is a school of learning, Yuki. Not a military compound." The headmaster sounded flabbergasted. I glared back at him.

"The humans know now that they are not the top of the food chain. That scares them. People do crazy shit out of panic and ignorance. You said it yourself, you can't even ensure the safety of your students now. Part of that is because your guardians are lacking in quality and skill. Part of that you can't control. But I may be able to help you gain some ground."

"What are you going to be doing?" Zero asked.

"The first part to fixing something is realizing it is broken. To do that we have to all be willing to do things we might not want to do." The headmaster repeated Zero's question, a frown creasing the skin between those pretty eyes.

"I will begin inserting myself into the world of Japanese politics." Both men made a noise of disapproval. I glared at them both. "I have to do something to pave the way for the academy. How far do you think we'll get if the government pushes back harder than we can?" The room was dead silent.

"And you think you can succeed where Kaname has failed?" Zero asked.

It's true. For all his beauty, charm, grace and intellect Kaname had been incapable of winning over Japanese politicians the way he'd so easily maneuvered countless others. The best he had gotten was a treaty built on the shaky foundations of a handful of scared politicians. And he'd only gotten that because most countries were erring on the side of caution where vampires were concerned. It would be unwise to start a war with creatures you don't even really know how to kill. Did I think I could tame the Japanese government? No. Not really. But I had to try. I didn't really care about politics, never had. However, I couldn't deny that I was a part of the political scene now and if I could change something, especially something like the prospect of settling this feud between human and vampire, then how could I sit back and not? In truth, I really just wanted an excuse to be anywhere Zero couldn't find me, at least not easily. I was suddenly on my feet as a fist smashed down on the table in front of me. The headmaster was staring at me, eyes raging.

"What do you think you can accomplish, Yuki?" I smiled sweetly and stared into those large eyes the color of rosewater.

"Anything that doesn't kill me." He froze, staring blankly as if my simple, incredibly literal statement was too much.

"This might kill you." His voice was hushed but clear. I shrugged, a nonchalant roll of muscle as I smiled at his beautiful eyes.

"So?" I heard Zero shift. If I didn't know better I'd swear he was uncomfortable or something. Nah.

"This isn't a game, Yuki!" He nearly shouted it into my face despite the desk between us.

"Isn't it!" I yelled right back. My chest heaved with the heat I'd thrown in those two words. My anger swirled through me and I knew my eyes would be a red storm to match. "Politics is nothing but devious men on a power trip playing at war and capitalism. The whole thing is one giant fucking monopoly game and wining boils down to materialism and who's tongue is more silken." I eased back from him and closed my eyes, shoving my anger down. I smiled and knew it didn't reach my eyes before I'd even opened them.

"A bit cynical, don't ya think?" Zero's voice was smooth, like nothing was happening. I cocked my head to the side as I stared at him. Why was he so calm? Odd.

"No. Not at all." He was cast mostly in shadow, only the bottom part of his legs visible in the shadows. I stared right about where I thought his face should be.

"You never answered the headmaster's question."

"No. I don't suppose I did." I looked back at the man in question and my face was that very neutral blankness I'd perfected. Pretty, sweet and absolutely clueless. "It's simple really. Politics is mostly men." His face crumbled in confusion.

"Yes, it is a particularly male dominated field." I scoffed a bit at that bit of polite bullshit before easing into the chair I'd been in. I leaned back and crossed my legs, folding my hands across my stomach without breaking eye contact with him.

"Men are easily manipulated. It is the rare man that proves to be different." My words fell like a bomb in the silence stretching in the room. I don't think either of them moved, breathed even. I smiled pleasantly and waited for them to adjust. At this rate they'd quickly learn just how much I'd changed in the last five years.

"What do you mean by that, Yuki? Do you mean..." He let the words trail off and I widened that polite smile just a little more, an edge of near violence just underneath, if you knew what you were looking at. The headmaster knew it for what it was and for the first time ever I watched uncertainty cross his face, uncertainty all for me. My heart clenched a little but I refused to be the first one to blink.

"I meant what I said, headmaster. Take what you will from it." In my dealings with the media I'd learned that little statements like the last, ones with the perfect edge of aggression, mystery and challenge were simply eaten up. They loved that shit. It helped that they also tended not to poke at the statement, which was quickly making it one of my favorite techniques. The headmaster dipped his head in acknowledgment and flopped back in his chair, staring at me over his folded hands. After a few breaths he spoke.

"I will put the word out for more guardians and have Zero begin setting up a schedule for training the ones we have. I will also do as you suggested and assign this telemarketing task to a handful of trusted friends among the faculty." I nodded. "Not that we won't be holding these meetings regularly but, anything else you might need feel free to come right to me." I stood and dipped my head graciously. Zero was gone. I wasn't sure when or where he'd gone but I was glad he wasn't here. I moved towards the door. I stopped in front of it and turned to find him staring at me.

"Never your friends, headmaster. Someone you trust, yes, absolutely. Someone you love-" I shook my head. "Not if you value them." I reached for the doorknob while his words came to me.

"What has happened to you these last handful of years? What has killed the joy in my Yuki's eyes?" I felt tears burn up the back of my throat in a painful lump, shooting in stinging pinpricks across my eyes. What had happened to me? Too much. For some reason I remembered a story, though not its title, that I'd read somewhere of a man who'd fought against the shadows with his faith lighting the only candle responsible for fighting back the darkness. In the end the light went out. That didn't help my mood.

"What have you seen? Learned?" I twisted the cool metal of the knob and the breeze from opening it tickled my hair across my cheek.

"In the end, the shadow will swallow light." That's what I'd learned. Cynicism be damned.

"What about a really bright light?" I couldn't help but smile, but it was still tainted with the edge of tears.

"The brightest of lights cast the darkest of shadows that will consume the flames that created it with a flickering breath. All they have to do is wait."

"Wait for what?" His voice was choked with something that sounded dangerously close to tears. I wanted to look at him but dared not to.

"That depends on the flame." I stepped through the door.

"Yuki."

"Yes?"

"It's _father!_ " My smile widened as I began pulling the door shut.

"Good evening, father." I closed the door with a soft click and grinned at the smile of pure joy I saw on the headmaster's face, the last image that ran through my head before I was yanked into a room four doors down from my own room. I swung out on instinct, twisting free from the grip on my arm. They were on me before I could so much as breathe.

Wherever we were it was dark. Too dark to see. Even a vampire needs at least a little bit of light to be able to see. I moved out of instinct, listening to my body, the feel of the air currents, the electric thrill of sound as my guides.

I felt the air shift and barely moved in time, dropping just below the woosh of air where my head had been. Their leg began sweeping back and I struck, moving my body in one line of strength and power exploding upward from my feet. I planted my foot in their chest, a solid kick that forced the air from them on a gust of pain. He, definitely a he from the sound of it, flew back from me maybe twelve feet or so, landing with a crash and a grunt. I followed that grunt and suddenly I was flipping him on his stomach, pinning him to the floor with my knee in his back as I got his arm in a pressure, joint lock so that his hand was twisted between his shoulder blades. He made a pain noise and his body tensed with some movement. I couldn't see what he was doing and wasn't willing to take any chances. My fingers found a great grip in his long hair as I used it as a handle to bounce his skull off the floor. He went still for a moment that I used to use my hand in his hair to stretch his neck in a long, clean line.

My fangs dropped low with all the adrenaline. I could feel the points of my fangs dimple the skin just below my lower lip. In combat a vampires fangs grew an average of three times their normal length, making them pretty useful tools for rending flesh from bone. Not every vampire could grow their fangs that large. No, it was a distinguished mark of the pure-blood line. I leaned over the man below me, grinding my knee into him while putting a little extra pressure on his arm. I got a small grunt of pain in return, just enough to spike his anger and fear perfuming the air. I licked my lips, stomach contracting hard enough that I almost sank my fangs into him. I closed my eyes and fought to keep still. The hunger twisted through me and I dragged my fangs up the side of his neck in response. He gasped and I smelled it the musky, wet smell of arousal. Under that, perfuming the primal smell of sex, was something I knew well, something that added a final element of intoxication. A crisp fall breeze carrying the faint scent of something floral.

I screwed my eyes shut to fight the blinding rage inside me. I used my hand in his hair to shove off him, bouncing his head off the floor again making him grunt. I strutted around the room, pacing to where the window was to rip back the curtains. The silver of the moon showed me that Zero hadn't moved from where I'd left him.

"Fucking moron!" My words growled out between my lips. I was so pissed I could hardly stand still. I could have killed him. I could have killed, Zero. And it would have been over something stupid. His silence was what stopped me. He lay still on the floor, eyes a pale circle of silver trailing me around the room. He watched me patiently, as if waiting for something he knew was coming and so he could wait there like that forever. My hunger twisted through me so fast and hard that I made a small noise of protest as I turned away from him. Oh god. I smelled him. Around me. On me. Everywhere. My whole body felt engorged with hunger. I couldn't remember the last time I'd fed. When had I last fed? I scrambled through my memories trying to remember. I had been at the academy a week today and hadn't fed that whole time. I flitted through my memories trying to remember and came up blank. When? When, when, when?

A face, female, long blonde hair, huge hazel eyes. Shit. I felt like kicking myself. The last time I'd fed was off the wife of the president of France.

" _Let me feed you. I want to see what it feels like." She swept her long, blonde hair over the shoulder of a business suit that probably cost more than the private jet that had gotten us there. She began leaning into me. I put a hand gently but solidly against her shoulder. She showed me giant hazel eyes filled with soft confusion. I shook my head at her, forcing my eyes from the large, pulsing vein in her neck so readily exposed._

" _You misunderstand, Mrs. Hollan. Even if I wished to accept your...delectable-" I trailed my fingertips gently down the exposed line of her throat. "offer, I could not."_

" _Why not?" She shivered a little and I saw that gleam in her eyes I'd become incredibly familiar with. I stifled the sigh and smiled politely._

" _Pure blood vampires, like myself and Lord Kuran, spread vampirism with our bite." I added sultry charm to the smile I showed her as I sidled closer to her slender body. She eyed my every movement with anticipation, eyes sliding shut as I cradled the smooth, flawless curve of her cheek. She nuzzled my hand, eyes rolling up so she was showing me all the sexy those big eyes could convey._

" _Then share with me your dark kiss." I couldn't help the dark laugh that rolled out of my throat in a low rumble. Her husband made a noise of outrage in the background as I smiled my first genuine smile of the evening. I leaned into her until our noses nearly touched._

" _My dark kiss would then be called murderer for having snuffed out the light of a star." She frowned. I don't know why but I found myself smiling at the simple, arrogant, ignorant beauty of the woman before me. I closed what little distance there was between us with a kiss, long, probing and thorough. The kiss she'd wanted since we'd come. I broke the kiss, holding her body close to mine. She swallowed twice before she could speak._

" _Take something, anything from me." She breathed against my mouth. I couldn't help the soft chuckle that came in response. Fool. She was not the first of her kind. There were those that would have nothing but professionalism. Then there were those who cared more for games and sexual deviation. She was the latter of the two. "Please." She kissed me several times to accompany her plea. I smiled down at her._

" _I'll need a knife." She nodded and I felt movement. I looked up to see Mr. Hollan moving toward us. I ignored him and kissed the woman in my arms. I knew Mr. Hollan had joined us when the Mrs. moaned in my mouth at being pressed between the two of us. I broke the kiss, looking over the woman between us at the man before me. His eyes were dark pools of a brown that was nearly black, a little too wide. His breathing was a little too quick as he licked his lips. He looked away from me to his wife cradled between us. He palmed a handful of those long, blonde waves, pulling her head back against him with a jerk of motion. She moaned for him, skin exposed for me. So much skin. I licked my own lips at the creamy mounds of her breasts, piled up and quivering with every breath. The dress was a tight, sheath of red that emphasized every curve she had, the type of dress that made underwear an impossibility. If the bust of the dress wasn't as tight as it was there was no way someone as well endowed as her would have been able to pull it off. A cup in either direction would have ruined how perfectly this dress framed her every asset. Mr. Hollan placed the edge of the blade into the flesh of her left breast hard enough to dimple the flesh and draw a moan from the Mrs. He kept my eyes and flicked his wrist in a quick, practiced motion that told me better than any number of pretty words just how kinky the Hollans really were. She gasped and then I was spell bound, watching the rich red of her blood well up in little beads from the thin cut. It wasn't until the drops swelled enough to begin trailing down that pale creaminess that my will broke. I caught the blood on my tongue, closing my eyes so I enjoyed every drop. I locked eyes with Mr. Hollan._

" _I know places where the blood flows a lot easier." He was breathing through his partially open mouth and could only nod._

 _We ended with Mrs. Hollan stretched on her back between us, him pinning her wrists down under his own body weight at my request. Wouldn't want her clawing me up. I didn't mind a little blood, but it looked bad on the cameras if I didn't take extra measures to heal the wounds, which was not an option. Her head was propped on a pillow so she could see me without effort. I kept staring into her eyes as I slid my hands up the inside of her legs, spreading them as I went. I smiled as the bare, soaking wetness of her was exposed to me. Nope. No undies. I ran my tongue where my hands had just been, running circles over the soft skin barely covering the large veins just below. I filled my eyes with everything she wanted to see so very badly as I stared up the line of her body and let my fangs slowly grow in length so that I was more likely to eat her than drink from her if I did sink fang, but it made for a great show. That was part of the thrill wasn't it? The threat of real danger looking up at you between soaked thighs, the promise of blurring the line between pain and pleasure. It was a powerful weapon, seduction._

 _I grabbed the knife off the bed and teased the edge of the blade up her thigh, getting a soft sigh in response. Mr. Hollan made a noise and I rolled my eyes up to see Kaname pressed behind the man. He had a hand in Hollan's thinning hair, moving his head back so that his neck was exposed in a long line. The Mrs. moaned, head tipped back to see the show. Kaname caught my eyes and I dipped my head in acknowledgment. I called my fangs back until they were barely longer than the rest of my teeth._

 _I sliced a shallow gash in her inner thigh and she cried out, body jerking in response. Mr. Hollan echoed her cry a fraction of a second after her. She looked down at me with something close to terror in her eyes. Blood flowed pretty steadily from the small wound on her thigh. She flinched a little as I began leaning down towards her. I watched her face as I locked my mouth around the wound, careful of my fangs, which despite their size were still sharp. Her face twisted with the edge of discomfort and I smelled her first adrenaline rush. It was going to hurt at first, it always did. I worked my tongue over the wound, keeping the blood flowing and kicking those amazing endorphins into her system. I saw the exact moment she began to feel them. Her eyes rolled and slid shut, mouth opening as she gasped for air._

" _Mon Dieu." She moaned. Mr. Hollan was very thoroughly enjoying himself, hands roving over Kaname trying to find something to hold onto. Soft moans fell from his lips as often as breathe. She grabbed my attention again by entwining her fingers in my hair. Her husband was too wrapped up in his own pleasure to remember about holding her down. I sucked a little harder and she cried out, arching her back. Once the endorphins kicked in pain and pleasure were nearly indivisible, one heightening the other. Her breathing quickened, her thighs quivering on either side of me. I knew the long build up before climax when taking someone this way was an excruciating pleasure to burn you alive from the inside out. I knew it very well. She moaned to me, gasping things in French as my tongue drew her closer to release._

" _S'il vous plait." She gasped. I sucked on the wound hard and fast, pulling as much of it into my mouth as I dared. She moaned, fingers clenching tightly in my hair, drawing a sound from me. My mouth filled with her blood, hot, sticky and sweet. I swallowed her down as she finally climaxed. I tasted the rush of endorphins in her blood, changing her flavor from sweet to a pleasant tangy flavor. I moaned and drew more of her in. Her body spasmed beneath me, the only still part of her being the leg I held still beneath my mouth. She screamed and it was quickly muffled. I rolled my eyes up to see her husband kissing her in such a way that his tongue proved to be quite an effective gag. I stilled my mouth against her and flattened my tongue over the wound. I let my magic fill me, directing it to my mouth where it rested on her wound. I thought about the wound knitting shut and felt it close beneath my tongue. Mrs. Hollan was a boneless heap on some kind of lounge thing we'd been on. Kaname stood by the armchair not ten feet away, staring at me._

" _Thank you." He breathed through my mind._

I snapped out of the flashback with a gasp. What had brought me out of it? Zero. He was on his feet and moving toward me in a slow lope that was strangely submissive looking. Zero was anything but submissive. What was going on here. My stomach contracted so hard it nearly doubled me over and I couldn't help but groan from the pain. Zero stopped walking and eyed me, cocking his head to the side.

"You're hungry." My stomach chose right then to prove his point. "Very hungry." He began moving toward me again, even slower this time. I shook my head at him.

"Stay away." He smiled but still kept coming.

"When was the last time you fed?" He said from barely five feet away. I scurried several steps backward and held out both hands toward him.

"Please." One word whispered out on a shaky breath. Sweat trickled down my spine even as I felt how cool my skin had grown.

"When was the last time you fed, Yuki?" I glanced at him then away. We'd met with Mr. and Mrs. Hollan nearly three weeks before I'd come to the academy. I forgot to eat a lot but I don't think I'd ever forgotten for nearly a month. Things had been hectic for so long you'd think I'd be used to scheduling feedings in between pleasing the royals. I realized I still hadn't answered him. I was actually surprised he hadn't already pestered me again. He stood there, patiently awaiting my answer.

"Too long." My voice was hoarse with need. If I could just get away from him, somewhere I couldn't smell him or see him standing there all sexy and shit. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. Mistake. The smell of him filled my lungs, I tasted him on the back of my tongue as if I'd licked him. My fangs ripped there way free, dropping down to almost an inch, nearly half what they were at battle length _._ My stomach seized so hard I dropped into a squat and huddled around the pain. I could hear his heart pushing blood through his veins, smell it all coursing just below the surface. All I'd have to do is-

I exploded to my feet, startling Zero into jumping a foot back. He'd been about to touch me when I'd moved. I was breathing heavily, pulling his scent, the rush of his body into me with every breath. I needed away from him now!

"I need to get out of here." My voice was guttural and slightly slurred from speaking around the fangs.

"You need to feed, Yuki." He stared at me as his fingers deftly undid the first button on his already gaping shirt. My mouth watered at the sight of all that smooth skin gleaming in the moonlight. He undid the next button and I finally realized what was going on here. No way could I let that happen. I shook my head at him. I kept shaking my head at him as I watched his fingers dance over each button until his shirt was more framing the lean muscled expanse of his upper body than covering it. I had all the time in the world to tell him to stop and yet I was spellbound by the slow reveal of skin. He took a step toward me and I backpedaled too quick, tripping over nothing and landing on my ass. I was on my feet so quick you'd swear it never happened. He was smiling.

"What the fuck are you smiling about?" I didn't think the situation was very funny.

He chuckled and took another step toward me. I was going to run out of room soon and I didn't want to be backed against a wall. I whirled and darted for the door. I felt him, smelled him moving. Before his hand ever touched my shoulder I had his wrist in my hand, using my grip to throw him in a text book perfect shoulder toss except that I kept my grip on his wrist, using it to slam him into the floor. I flipped my body on top of him so that I straddled his waist, leaning over him in a push up position. Surprise glimmered through his eyes so quick if I hadn't been looking I'd have missed it.

"Twice tonight you've surprised me, Yuki." I smiled, more a baring of fangs really.

"Surprise? You mean this wasn't exactly what you wanted, Zero?" I let the disbelief I felt show through in my voice.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Bastard. Why was he doing this? That was the real question. He blinked up at me as if he had no idea what language I'd spoken, let alone what I'd said. I dropped down so that I was suddenly laying on him, face almost in his neck. The gums around my fangs throbbed in time to my heart and instead of my stomach contracting something that felt like an electric spear impaling me from the stomach out nearly made me scream in Zero's ear. My whole body tensed and the fire began. My throat felt raw, like fire was being poured down it. Zero sat up, wrapping his arms around me. I locked eyes with him and what I saw there startled me. Zero looked pained, like something was physically hurting him.

"What's wrong, Zero? Did I hurt you?" His lips curved back in a small smile at first but it slowly grew until for the first time in so many years, he laughed. It was one of those deep belly laughs and I smiled too. He was absolutely stunning when he laughed. So beautiful. The laughter changed how he smelled. Instead of an autumn breeze he smelled like lavender carried on the wind of a warm, breezy spring night.

I suddenly had my hand in his thick, long silken hair, using it to pull his head back. I used my arm around him to pull our bodies together from chest to groin. I wrapped my legs around him and tightened my grip on his hair until he made a small noise for me. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted. I stretched my body so I could lick a thin trail up the side of his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me closer, not pushing me away. That wasn't right. This wasn't right. I could feel him growing firm against the part of me that wanted him most. A bolt of pain shot through me again and I had to throw myself backwards to keep from sinking fang into Zero. I didn't go far with his arms keeping me from falling. My body was bowed backwards away from him, grinding me into his now hard cock. He groaned for me and bit his lip, blood trickled from where his fangs had cut him. I didn't even think about it. I just leaned in and licked the blood off his chin. I hesitated for a moment at the line of his bottom lip before saying fuck it and licking that too. I wanted to pull his lip into my mouth and suck on it, but the fangs made damn sure that wasn't going to happen. Zero was watching me as I pulled back and I saw he was breathing hard and the air was thick with the heady mixture of the musky scent of arousal and desire, both his and mine. Fuck, fuck, fuck...that was exactly where this was going. No, no, no-

"Do it." His words were husky and I shivered. I shook my head too hard, trying to shake the stupid away.

"No. Let me go." He jerked me against him until our faces were inches away, lifting me off his lap.

"You want, need, it. So take it, Yuki." I shook my head again and stopped my fingers from unconsciously playing with his hair while we talked.

"No. Please let me go, Zero."

"You're in pain. You need to feed." I wanted to analyze every fine detail of him to figure out what had changed about him. He was just acting so differently from the Zero I had known.

"I need you to let me go before I do something we both might regret." He held me tighter and I wriggled against him, getting a hissing inhale in response.

"Stop that."

"Let me go."

"Feed."

"No."

"Feed, Yuki."

"Dammit, Zero! I said no! What the fuck?" I was breathing hard from the outburst, finally angry again. I whispered sweet nothings to my anger, coaxing it to roar. Anger was good. I wasn't ready to jump Zero right here and now anymore. I was just one thousand percent pissed the fuck off. I shoved him but he didn't move, just stared at me.

"Let me go, Zero." He still didn't move. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, Zero." I could smell him everywhere and the feel of his body against mine was too much with so many hungers right below the surface. I needed away from him. The pulse in the side of his throat jumped like it was dancing to some tune I could hear if only I just-.

"Oh god." I dropped my head against his shoulder. "Please." My words were a quiet whisper, not because I wanted to be quiet but rather I was afraid I'd start yelling or something worse, much worse. "Please don't make me hurt you, Zero." I felt tears sting my eyes and blinked them away. No way in hell was that happening. You didn't cry over shit like this. You had to be stronger than that. I had to be stronger than that.

"You won't hurt me."

"I will if you don't let me the fuck go." He tightened his hold and I think I growled, not sure really. "I refuse to feed from you, Zero. I won't do it. So, you can let me go or we get to see who wins Wrestlemania between the two of us."

"What?" I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't understand the reference.

"Let me go or I'm going to kick your ass." There. That was nice and simple. He seemed to be analyzing me as he roved his eyes over my face. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him in some way because he let me go. I stood up and took three big steps away from him, making a beeline to the door.

"Leaving so soon, Yuki?" I stopped and closed my eyes trying to steal myself against going back to him and giving him a reason to sound so husky. When I opened my eyes he was leaning with his back against the door, almost like he needed to be further away too but he wasn't ready to let me leave yet. I sighed.

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Zero?" He was so still, only his shirt fluttering gently around his slowly rising chest showed he was alive.

"You've surprised me three times tonight." I sighed again and turned away to sit on the edge of the bed. My heart was in my throat, body humming with need and desire.

"Yeah? You don't say." He frowned at me.

"These ridiculous things you say are only the very beginning of how much you've changed." I laughed a nasty burst of sound that startled him enough that he was suddenly standing on his own and not lounging decoratively against the door.

"Oh, Zero. You have no idea just how different I really am." He nodded and laughed, an odd reaction, one the Zero I used to know would have sneered at.

"So it would seem." He shook his head while running his hand over his face and through his hair. My body tightened at seeing all that tall lithe body stretched in a long line, skin glowing in the moonlight. I took a deep breath realizing I had forgotten to breathe. My stomach cramped up on me and I knew I had to get out of there. If I lost control again so soon there would be no coming back.

"Your eyes light the dark with your lust." I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. The smell of him was so deep inside me I couldn't help but roll the taste of him around on my tongue and savor the flavor. I shuddered from head to feet as another bolt of agony shot through me. I must have made some noise because Zero was staring at me with something like pity.

"Do not pity me, Zero. Just get out of my way." The edge of anger, long overdue, was there in my words. He simply stared at me and I could suddenly smell his desire like it had kicked me in the lungs. I gasped for breath and backed away before I ravaged him. There was nothing fluffy or sweet about what I wanted from him. I wanted to sink my fangs into him as he fucked me. I wanted to hear him scream for me. I shook my head and scrambled away from him. I was on the other side of the bed, which meant I had gone over it at some point, but I didn't remember it. Zero had never moved, staring at me in my corner while propped against the wood of the door once again.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Zero's voice was the perfect medium between inquisitive and devilishly knowledgeable. I don't know if my patience was all used up for the day or something but I just snapped. I was suddenly so pissed that I didn't remember moving. I had Zero by the throat against the door, body pressed into his. My breasts pressed into his upper chest, which was when I realized that my feet were not on the floor. Zero's hands were passively hanging at his sides. Huh. This was a new one. My powers were slowly coming on line so occasionally, like now, I'd accidentally stumble across an ability. Cool. His hands wrapping around my waist brought me back to the situation at hand. My anger roared back over me as I looked and saw him with his head tipped back against the door, eyes closed, waiting.

"Is this what you want, Zero? You _want_ me to sink my fangs into you?" He was breathing hard, I felt the rush of every breath through my hand on his throat. I could hear his heart and taste him like a favorite candy flavor coating on my tongue. I leaned into him and hissed my next words in his ear.

"You _want_ me to give you a reason to call me monster. A reason to take away the guilt of killing me." I watched the first hint of red glow behind those metallic lavender eyes. I grinned and couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry. Am I pissing you off? Aw." I rolled my bottom lip out in a pout. His hands on my waist squeezed almost to the point of pain. "I won't help you kill me, Zero. I like living a little too much."

"Yuki-" He cut himself off but I heard the warning in his tone. I raised an eyebrow and asked him a question that had been bugging me.

"How did you get out of my room last night? The locks on the door were intact when I checked them and the window was shut too." He looked taken aback by my question for a moment before he smiled coyly at me and shook his head, clearly telling me his secretes were his own. My anger spiked and I should have just stopped there. Of course, I didn't.

"Fine. What have you learned from spying on me this past week?" He covered it up pretty quickly with arrogance but I saw the flash of surprise.

"What reason would I have to spy on you, Yuki?"

"Why don't you tell me. My first thought was that you were trying to scope out the habits of your target, me, deciding the best way to kill me or if you should kill me. My second guess was something more mundane like extra security." My tone alone said how little I believed that last statement. "Which is it, Zero?" His eyes were vamped out now, glowing red. "I'm a little tired of passing your tests, Zero."

"How do you know you passed them?"

"You wouldn't keep testing me if I hadn't passed the previous one." He laughed and shook his head.

"Naive, Yuki. Still so naive." I let the anger rage inside me but my voice was startlingly calm.

"I'm not naive enough to ignore the fact that you want me, Zero. You want to hold my body close while you sink-"

"Stop."

"You're fangs and other things deep inside me. If you can-"

"Stop this, Yuki!" His eyes flamed a brilliant red, the tattoo on his neck glowing a pale blue. I smiled. Despite everything I could still smell how aroused he was, how chokingly thick his desire was to do everything I'd said and more. He was breathing hard like he'd run a 10k at neck-break speed.

"If you can look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong then I'll never bring it up again and we can resume as if this whole fucking thing never happened."

"You swear a lot, now. You never used to talk like this." The statement seemed absent-minded, like he was distracted by something. I shrugged.

"It's been a rough few years." I swallowed hard, closing my eyes as pain ripped through me and suddenly I was back on the other side of the bed again, watching him and waiting. He took several steps toward me before stopping. He shook his head and made some noise in the back of his throat. I couldn't deny that I wanted him to say I was right because I wanted him in every way. But if I could make him do the thing he wanted me to do to prove I was a monster I could turn the tables on him. Could he kill me for being the very same thing as himself? It was worth a shot.

"You can't can you? Better yet..." I began moving over the bed, again.

"What are you doing?" I was back on my feet, moving towards him.

"Show me, Zero. Show me I'm wrong." He took a few steps backwards, putting the door at his back again. He looked back at it, as if he wasn't aware he'd been that close, before quickly coming back to me. Panic flashed through his eyes but underneath was eagerness, anticipation. I was only feet away from him now.

"No, Yuki. Stop this." I pressed my body as tightly as I could against him, running my fingers under the shirt framing that finely muscled chest. His skin was smooth and hot. Very hot. I curved my fingers over his shoulders and up the side of his neck. Just beneath his jaw I trailed my fingernails back down his neck. He shivered for me and I watched a fresh trail of blood shine down his chin from his fangs bleeding the lip he was biting. He grabbed me and spun, slamming my back into the wall. I gasped and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. I licked a wet line up his neck and he groaned.

"Stop...this..." He gasped out, fingers finding a sudden grip in my hair, pulling my head back so that my neck was exposed. I moaned and rolled my body against his. He wrapped his arm around my waist and fell to his knees. I thought it might have hurt but he didn't seem bothered, so I didn't mention it. He tipped his head back, sucking in a deep breath that shuddered on the way back out. I pulled against his hold on my hair to drag my fangs up his neck. His body began to tremble, a very fine quivering of muscles.

"Oh god..." He moaned, body shivering hard enough to jostle me with him. "Stop this, Yuki."

"Tell me I'm wrong and I will." He shook his head.

"You have to-" He had to pause while his body spasmed again. I ground my hips into him where I was pressed against the hard length of him once again. He cried out."Stop. Before I..." His hands were on my hips now as I began slowly rolling them against him.

"Before you what?" I breathed against his ear. He growled and I felt him tense a second before he jacked my body up and struck.

 **A/N- Hey guys so I don't plan on this story being lengthy in the number of chapters, but the chapters are going to be pretty lengthy themselves, as you can see. I'd love to hear some feedback. How are you guys liking the story so far? I'd especially love to hear what you think about the new Yuki. I think I like her a little too much, if there is such a thing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-** Hello again Ladies and Gents! It has been quite some time since I posted the last chapter, for that I sincerely apologize. As the semester wound down and finals crushed me, move out loomed above my head and a ton of personal drama ensued I unfortunately could not find the time to write. But here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you to those who reviewed! I love to hear from you guys! Special thanks to the guest reviewer who pointed out some inconsistencies in the last chapter, I really appreciate it and have both fixed and updated the last chapter! Ta-ta for now, my friends! Enjoy! ;-D

… **...Last Chapter Refresher...**

" **You're in pain. You need to feed." I wanted to analyze every fine detail of him to figure out what had changed about him. He was just acting so differently from the Zero I had known.**

" **I need you to let me go before I do something we both might regret." He held me tighter and I wriggled against him, getting a hissing inhale in response.**

" **Stop that."**

" **Let me go."**

" **Feed."**

" **No."**

" **Feed, Yuki."**

" **Dammit, Zero! I said no! What the fuck?" I was breathing hard from the outburst, finally angry again. I whispered sweet nothings to my anger, coaxing it to roar. Anger was good. I wasn't ready to jump Zero right here and now anymore. I was just one thousand percent pissed the fuck off. I shoved him but he didn't move, just stared at me.**

" **Let me go, Zero." He still didn't move. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, Zero." I could smell him everywhere and the feel of his body against mine was too much with so many hungers right below the surface. I needed away from him. The pulse in the side of his throat pulsed like it was dancing to some tune I could hear if only I just-.**

" **Oh god." I dropped my head against his shoulder. "Please." My words were a quiet whisper, not because I wanted to be quiet but rather I was afraid I'd start yelling or something worse, much worse. "Please don't make me hurt you, Zero." I felt tears sting my eyes and blinked them away. No way in hell was that happening. You didn't cry over shit like this. You had to be stronger than that. I had to be stronger than that.**

" **You won't hurt me."**

" **I will if you don't let me the fuck go." He tightened his hold and I think I growled, not sure really. "I refuse to feed from you, Zero. I won't do it. So, you can let me go or we get to see who wins Wrestlemania between the two of us."**

" **What?" I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't understand the reference.**

" **Let me go or I'm going to kick your ass." There. That was nice and simple. He seemed to be analyzing me as he roved his eyes over my face. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him in some way because he let me go. I stood up and took three big steps away from him, making a beeline to the door.**

" **Leaving so soon, Yuki?" I stopped and closed my eyes trying to steal myself against going back to him and giving him a reason to sound so husky. When I opened my eyes he was leaning with his back against the door, almost like he needed to be further away too but he wasn't ready to let me leave yet. I sighed.**

" **Is there something you'd like to talk about, Zero?" He was so still, only his shirt fluttering gently around his slowly rising chest showed he was alive.**

" **You've surprised me three times tonight." I sighed again and turned away to sit on the edge of the bed. My heart was in my throat, body humming with need and desire.**

" **Yeah? You don't say." He frowned at me.**

" **These ridiculous things you say are only the very beginning of how much you've changed." I laughed a nasty burst of sound that startled him enough that he was suddenly standing on his own and not lounging decoratively against the door.**

" **Oh, Zero. You have no idea just how different I really am." He nodded and laughed, an odd reaction, one the Zero I used to know would have sneered at.**

" **So it would seem." He shook his head while running his hand over his face and through his hair. My body tightened at seeing all that tall lithe body stretched in a long line, skin glowing in the moonlight. I took a deep breath realizing I had forgotten to breathe. My stomach cramped up on me and I knew I had to get out of there. If I lost control again so soon there would be no coming back.**

" **Your eyes light the dark with your lust." I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. The smell of him was so deep inside me I couldn't help but roll the taste of him around on my tongue and savor the flavor. I shuddered from head to feet as another bolt of agony shot through me. I must have made some noise because Zero was staring at me with something like pity.**

" **Do not pity me, Zero. Just get out of my way." The edge of anger, long overdue, was there in my words. He simply stared at me and I could suddenly smell his desire like it had kicked me in the lungs. I gasped for breath and backed away before I ravaged him. There was nothing fluffy or sweet about what I wanted from him. I wanted to sink my fangs into him as he fucked me. I wanted to hear him scream for me. I shook my head and scrambled away from him. I was on the other side of the bed, which meant I had gone over it at some point, but I didn't remember it. Zero had never moved, staring at me in my corner while propped against the wood of the door once again.**

" **Penny for your thoughts?" Zero's voice was the perfect medium between inquisitive and devilishly knowledgeable. I don't know if my patience was all used up for the day or something but I just snapped. I was suddenly so pissed that I didn't remember moving. I had Zero by the throat against the door, body pressed into his. My breasts pressed into his upper chest, which was when I realized that my feet were not on the floor. Zero's hands were passively hanging at his sides. Huh. This was a new one. My powers were slowly coming on line so occasionally, like now, I'd accidentally stumble across an ability. Cool. His hands wrapping around my waist brought me back to the situation at hand. My anger roared back over me as I looked and saw him with his head tipped back against the door, eyes closed, waiting.**

" **Is this what you want, Zero? You** _ **want**_ **me to sink my fangs into you?" He was breathing hard, I felt the rush of every breath through my hand on his throat. I could hear his heart and taste him like a favorite candy flavor coating on my tongue. I leaned into him and hissed my next words in his ear.**

" **You** _ **want**_ **me to give you a reason to call me monster. A reason to take away the guilt of killing me." I watched the first hint of red glow behind those metallic lavender eyes. I grinned and couldn't help it.**

" **I'm sorry. Am I pissing you off? Aw." I rolled my bottom lip out in a pout. His hands on my waist squeezed almost to the point of pain. "I won't help you kill me, Zero. I like living a little too much."**

" **Yuki-" He cut himself off but I heard the warning in his tone. I raised an eyebrow and asked him a question that had been bugging me.**

" **How did you get out of my room last night? The locks on the door were intact when I checked them and the window was shut too." He looked taken aback by my question for a moment before he smiled coyly at me and shook his head, clearly telling me his secretes were his own. My anger spiked and I should have just stopped there. Of course, I didn't.**

" **Fine. What have you learned from spying on me this past week?" He covered it up pretty quickly with arrogance but I saw the flash of surprise.**

" **What reason would I have to spy on you, Yuki?"**

" **Why don't you tell me. My first thought was that you were trying to scope out the habits of your target, me, deciding the best way to kill me or if you should kill me. My second guess was something more mundane like extra security." My tone alone said how little I believed that last statement. "Which is it, Zero?" His eyes were vamped out now, glowing red. "I'm a little tired of passing your tests, Zero."**

" **How do you know you passed them?"**

" **You wouldn't keep testing me if I hadn't passed the previous one." He laughed and shook his head.**

" **Naive, Yuki. Still so naive." I let the anger rage inside me but my voice was startlingly calm.**

" **I'm not naive enough to ignore the fact that you want me, Zero. You want to hold my body close while you sink-"**

" **Stop."**

" **You're fangs and other things deep inside me. If you can-"**

" **Stop this, Yuki!" His eyes flamed a brilliant red, the tattoo on his neck glowing a pale blue. I smiled. Despite everything I could still smell how aroused he was, how chokingly thick his desire was to do everything I'd said and more. He was breathing hard like he'd run a 10k at neck-break speed.**

" **If you can look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong then I'll never bring it up again and we can resume as if this whole fucking thing never happened."**

" **You swear a lot, now. You never used to talk like this." The statement seemed absent-minded, like he was distracted by something. I shrugged.**

" **It's been a rough few years." I swallowed hard, closing my eyes as pain ripped through me and suddenly I was back on the other side of the bed again, watching him and waiting. He took several steps toward me before stopping. He shook his head and made some noise in the back of his throat. I couldn't deny that I wanted him to say I was right because I wanted him in every way. But if I could make him do the thing he wanted me to do to prove I was a monster I could turn the tables on him. Could he kill me for being the very same thing as himself? It was worth a shot.**

" **You can't can you? Better yet..." I began moving over the bed, again.**

" **What are you doing?" I was back on my feet, moving towards him.**

" **Show me, Zero. Show me I'm wrong." He took a few steps back, putting the door at his back again. He looked back at it, as if he wasn't aware he'd been that close, before quickly coming back to me. Panic flashed through his eyes but underneath was eagerness, anticipation. I was only feet away from him now.**

" **No, Yuki. Stop this." I pressed my body as tightly as I could against him, running my fingers under the shirt framing that finely muscled chest. His skin was smooth and hot. Very hot. I curved my fingers over his shoulders and up the side of his neck. Just beneath his jaw I trailed my fingernails back down his neck. He shivered for me and I watched a fresh trail of blood shine down his chin from his fangs bleeding the lip he was biting. He grabbed me and spun, slamming my back into the wall. I gasped and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. I licked a wet line up his neck and he groaned.**

" **Stop...this..." He gasped out, fingers finding a sudden grip in my hair, pulling my head back so that my neck was exposed. I moaned and rolled my body against his. He wrapped his arm around my waist and fell to his knees. I thought it might have hurt but he didn't seem bothered, so I didn't mention it. He tipped his head back, sucking in a deep breath that shuddered on the way back out. I pulled against his hold on my hair to drag my fangs up his neck. His body began to tremble, a very fine quivering of muscles.**

" **Oh god..." He moaned, body shivering hard enough to jostle me with him. "Stop this, Yuki."**

" **Tell me I'm wrong and I will." He shook his head.**

" **You have to-" He had to pause while his body spasmed again. I ground my hips into him where I was pressed against the hard length of him once again. He cried out."Stop. Before I..." His hands were on my hips now as I began slowly rolling them against him.**

" **Before you what?" I breathed against his ear. He growled and I felt him tense a second before he struck.**

I hissed at the pain of the initial strike, twining my fingers in that long hair. The feel of victory curled my lips into a wide smile, quickly wiped away by the first stirrings of the endorphins. I closed my eyes, luxuriating in the rush of pleasure. I trailed my fingers over the muscles in his shoulder with my free hand, feeling the smooth, pale flesh.

I sighed as my body began to surrender to him, one muscle at a time. His arms tightened around me and his moan vibrated up my throat. As the endorphins began to make the world seem fuzzy my body began to try to slake its own desires. My hips rolled against his lower stomach, not quite where I wanted to be. I gasped as he sunk his teeth in a little more and moaned as his bite worked its magic, stroking through me as if my whole body was a pleasure sensor. There was one spot in particular, pretty close to all those other delicious spots, that was like a second g-spot buried deeper inside me than any man could ever hope to touch. His fingers were suddenly sliding along my waist. I stopped breathing. He had never touched me like this, even when we had been so intimately together he'd always made it clear that beyond a certain point physical contact was a huge taboo. His hands kneaded the flesh of my waist and worked there way up my back as each draw from my neck drew me closer and closer to orgasm. His breathing changed and he moaned into my flesh. His body shook against me with repressed desires. I knew from being on both ends of the biting spectrum, it felt good. Blood and sex were desires so closely entwined that I'd always thought it was cruel that the aristocrats considered combining the two perverse. Feeding slaked one hunger and fueled another. A double edged sword, if ever there was one.

My breathing changed as the pleasure escalated suddenly from being a steady flow of feel-goods to a slow climb to the top of pleasure mountain. He jerked my body tighter against his, shoving the air out of me on a moan. He had to of taken his fill by now. Even vampires had a limit to what they could consume. The endorphins rolled me closer to the edge. Close. So close. I shook my head. What was I doing? No. This couldn't happen. Kaname. What about him? I argued with myself over what I wanted versus what I should do, finally deciding to walk the better course of valor maybe a few moments too late.

"Zero..." I gasped out. "Zero, you-" I dug my fingers into his hair as he dug his fangs in again. My eyes began rolling back into my head as the pleasure began to climax. I shook my head hard, feeling his fangs tear where he'd buried them deep in my neck. The pain was just right, putting me on the brink. The brink I was so very familiar with that Zero loved bringing me too, just to leave me hang there.

"Stop! Zero..." Whatever breath I had left me in a loud moan as my body exploded, the world falling in crystalline pieces around us. My body spasmed against his, spine unsuccessfully attempting to bow against Zero's grip. I felt him moan before I dissolved into a writhing mass against him. Every draw of his mouth on my neck was a fresh wave of pleasure so that the whole thing was one long orgasm. He finally pulled away with a gasp, head going back. He moaned loudly before easing his body forward. I felt him trembling against me as I flopped bonelessly back onto the floor. Zero's body was propped on his arms alone, the lower half of him was draped between my legs. I blinked up at him through half-lidded eyes and moaned. His skin gleamed with a sheen of sweat, hair hanging like a silver curtain around his face. His eyes when they rolled up to me were so red they cast a brilliant glow across the soft flesh of my exposed breasts, showing where my shirt had been ripped to reveal how my bra mounded them up. When had that happened? We were both breathing hard and fast. My blood trickled in a thin line from the corner of his mouth. A flash of fear zipped through me at the nearly predatory ferocity in his eyes. My body had betrayed me, leaving me laying defenseless before him and a part of me was screaming in terror. But another part swept a low, mocking bow and rolled eyes up to him in challenge with a daring grin. Part of me wanted him to take whatever he wanted from me. Even if that something happened to be my life. Though something told me it would be a lot harder to just let someone kill me than I realized. All thoughts fled when Zero's tongue began lapping at the wound on my neck. It was too soon. My body instantly reacted, arching up into him, fingers digging into his back, legs widening in invitation.

My nails were mournfully short, as per Kaname's request. He said I was too "voracious" a lover for nails. He couldn't have anyone see marks of passion painted across his skin. Heaven forbid he should have a life off camera. So as I dug my fingers into his back and didn't fear if I'd break skin or not. I missed them. I'd quickly found out that I loved some blood with my sex, and sometimes I wasn't very careful about how I got it. I wanted blood and so much more from the man above me. Wanted it so bad that it scared me. I pushed against his chest. No, I couldn't. I wanted him with everything I had. I wanted to cry at having him so close knowing I could never actually have him. The thought of what Kaname would do if he ever figured out did a fine job of sobering me.

"Stop, Zero." He froze above me. I don't think he was even breathing. "Get off of me." There wasn't a trace of sex or lust in my voice, despite me still being breathless from our exertions. The sweat was still damp on my body, my heart still racing and if he didn't get off of me I didn't know what I would do exactly, but I did know it would be too graphic for a rating. Maybe the completely neutral calm of my voice was what finally got him to listen but he did. He slowly rolled off me, falling onto his side on the floor. I got to my feet and looked down at him, swaying slightly. His hair fell over his face hiding it from me but all six foot one of him was a treat to the eyes. As I roved my eyes over him I couldn't help but smile at the painfully obvious erection he was still sporting. I swallowed hard and turned away, trying not to let deviant thoughts and hormones boss me around. I began "walking" to the door on legs made of something gelatinous.

"Yuki?" I stopped and squeezed my eyes shut. His voice was still gruff with the sexual baritone some men get, lisping around the edges like he was intoxicated.

"Yes?"

"What makes you think I want to kill you?" That startled me enough that I turned around to face him.

"You are the one who promised you would." He nodded, rolling his head so that a chunk of hair fell away from his face revealing a nicely forming bruise on his forehead. His eyes were half-lidded, glowing softly.

"Do you keep expecting me to kill you?" I stared at him for long enough that Zero actually looked away and shuffled as if uncomfortable.

"I don't know." That was the only truthful answer I had for him. This new Zero was so new you could still smell the saw dust. Nothing had gone as I thought it would between us and it was all too damned confusing.

"Why'd you come back here, Yuki? I know about you and the headmaster agreeing that you stay on the move far away from me." I stared blankly at him, giving him what I called my camera face.

"I've already explained why I came back."

"No." I raised an eyebrow at him as he sat up slowly and carefully crossed his legs under him. "You proposed the idea to Kaname. You volunteered. You did all of this knowing I was here and still you came back. What is the real reason you're here?" I smiled my best aw-shucks smile.

"Would you believe I was homesick?" He frowned up at me but I could almost see him mulling it over.

"And you'd risk your life over that?" He asked it more to himself than anything and finally shook his head. "No. Try again." He didn't believe it. Surprise, surprise. Tough shit. It was as close to the truth, which was something that needed to be told with a side of sake, as he was going to get. I shrugged and tried to ignore the headache starting up behind my eyes.

"Maybe I just didn't care." It was like he suddenly just snapped into focus, glaring at me with an intensity I'd seen only a couple times.

"Are you saying you came here to die?" I shrugged again.

"Death will come for me when he pleases but I do not fear him. Living in fear of death is no life at all." He looked confused for a moment and then I could smell his anger.

"So you would have me be your executioner." I shook my head and smiled. Oh, Zero.

"I would have you be the man I love and nothing else." He froze and a look of utter shock came over him that almost changed the absolute shock I felt at having said that into humor. The troublemaker in my head stepped forward. _And what about Kaname...your husband, remember? You gonna kiss him with the same mouth that sucks Zero off?_ I cringed at the crass but too insightful internal me. I hadn't thought about Kaname until just a few moments ago and was ashamed that I kept forgetting him. Just five minutes ago I would have done anything to have Zero and Kaname hadn't crossed my mind once. Shame forced blood up into my face and neck so fast that the room felt hot. I turned for the door and my movements were fueled by my self-hatred.

"Yuki, you never answered my question."

"I've answered enough of your questions."

"Do you want me to kill you?" I ground my teeth and whirled to face him.

"Of course not." He smiled slightly as if finally getting closer to whatever he was getting at.

"Why?"

"I'm so fucking sick of these games!" I saw my eyes flash red in the darkness.

"Why?" He nearly growled it.

"Because I don't ever want to put you in that position, Zero! Okay?"

"But you did. And you seem to have no problem putting father in a position where he stands to lose one, if not both of us." Something inside of me wilted at hearing him say that but it was the rage that one out.

"No one forced you to be a bigoted, fanatical douche nozzle, Zero. You chose that." He was on his feet now.

"I had no choice, don't even dare to pretend I did." I scoffed at that and rolled my eyes.

"Classic. 'I had no choice.'" I mimicked. "Bullshit! Everyone has a choice, Zero. That's all life is. A series of choices and circumstance that twist the twines of fate."

"I am the son of a family of vampire hunters."

"Uh huh. And just because Jack was born into a family of doctors doesn't mean he can't be a painter." He looked confused again.

"Who's Jack?" I rolled my eyes.

"It was hypothetical. Never-mind. Moving on." His eyes were glowing with a nicely kindled anger of his own.

"They killed my parents!"

"Yes. They did. A woman-"

"A vampire!" He snarled.

"A vampire woman mourning the loss of her lover, taken by the hands of your parents, struck out at the people who stole him from her. Hmmmm...yeah, your right, doesn't sound very human at all. Definitely a monster that one." Something smashed into the wall next to me. I glanced down to see one of the armchairs in pieces. Mature of him.

"Are you patronizing me?"

"Not every vampire is a monster, Zero. Even the vampire that caused your greatest sorrow did so out of love, in a twisted sense."

"Why do you defend them?!" He yelled.

"I _am_ them, Zero! So are you, in case it's slipped your attention! There is no us and them when you are them!"

"NO!" He shouted it so loud I felt it in my chest like a deep roll of thunder. "I will never be like them! Never!" I laughed so hard I had to lean against the wall for support. The laughter still stretched my face long after the sound faded.

"You delude yourself." He shook his head and I found myself echoing him.

"You are a glorified fool, my friend." He glared at me and if looks could kill I'd of been eviscerated.

"And you're a patronizing bitch." I laughed, eyes widening in outrage. Zero had never said anything like that to me. I nodded.

"Sometimes. But I am an honest, patronizing bitch." He shook his head and raked his hand through his hair, pacing a tight circle. He stopped and glared at me and then his eyes softened a little.

"You're neck is bleeding pretty badly, Yuki." I looked down at the dark trail of blood down the front of what was a white and pale blue pin-striped button down, the sky blue of my bra was a deep purple from soaking up so much blood. He took a step forward and without looking up I took one back. He sighed.

"Let me help you stop the bleeding." I shook my head and took another step back.

"I'll be fine." I was starting to have a difficult time staring at anything but all that exposed skin, my stomach tightening in preparation for the hunger cramps. I shook my head again, tearing my eyes from him, swallowing hard.

"I need to leave." My voice was squeezing down tight with need. I needed to get out of there. Fast. I turned, flinging the door open. I heard him call my name as I fled around the corner. The door closed behind me as I rounded the first corner and ran into Hanabusa at full tilt sending us in a crashing heap to the floor. He wrapped his arms around me and took the full impact of our fall. I was suddenly sitting cradled in Busa's lap with him looking me frantically over, eyes too wide.

"You're bleeding." The pulse in the side of his throat was hammering to get out. A request I was happy to oblige. I shoved him away and surged to my feet, running down the hallway once again. I stumbled and fell to my knees for a moment before I was up and running again. The world was starting to lose it's fine edge. I was losing too much blood.

"Lady Yuki!" Hanabusa yelled behind me. I had no idea where I was running but nowhere was going to be far enough. I could smell Zero everywhere and now I could smell Hanabusa. Stairs were bouncing into view ahead of me, I heard Busa running behind me. I was so desperate to get away from him that I launched myself down the steps. I put too much power into my jump and slammed into the wall just next to a giant stained glass window. I shoved off the wall and was airborne over the next flight of stairs, landing in a running stumble that forced me to catch myself with my hands before I was running head-long again. Pain speared through me, doubling me over and sending me crashing to the floor. I huddled around my stomach for a second before I hauled myself into the room next to me. The windows were closed, the walls bare, beds unclothed. The room hadn't been used this semester. Thank the gods. I willed my body to calm itself but the pain, the hungering thirst for desires too long denied ripped and roared through me. A hand was suddenly on my shoulder and then I had her pinned beneath me, fangs snarling in her face.

Ruka's eyes widened, lips parting so she could draw in more air but she never tried to fight back, never tried to defend herself. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the smell of anticipation. Ruka wanted this. If I hadn't been damn near crazed with hunger I might have asked why but I didn't care; I was too far gone. She wanted it. So did I.

I palmed a handful of all that rich blonde hair and yanked her against me. She made a small noise that when I bit her was amplified into a moan. I moaned as I pulled sweet mouthful after decadent mouthful. I knew my body was wrapped around hers, rolling against hers as if to accommodate equipment she didn't possess. I heard her moans and felt her arms crushing me against her but the roar of her heart in my head and the rush of her blood in my body dominated my world. I tasted her orgasm before I realized anything else and then I felt her body spasm against mine, felt the vibration of her cries of pleasure fill my mouth. My own body began to grow full, heavy and languid like the post-sex high minus the fireworks show. I pulled away from her with a gasp, holding her limp body against mine. I laid her gently back against the floor, stroking my fingers through her hair before sitting back on her upper thighs. My head was heavy, muscles moving in lazy protest. I giggled and stifled the so embarrassing sound by shoving the back of my hand against my mouth. I smiled down at the beauty of the woman under me and licked my lips.

Movement caught my attention and I rolled my eyes to see Busa, standing just inside the room. His eyes were wide with an edge of panic, chest heaving. He didn't seem to know what to do now that he was here. It was over now. I staggered to my feet, stumbling and nearly falling on top of Ruka. Busa was there suddenly, arm around my waist, lifting me completely over Ruka and over to the bed where he sat me down. I didn't protest only because I was almost positive I was too weak to get there myself. I flopped back on the mattress and giggled, closing my eyes to enjoy the warm, comfortable dizziness that was a fun side effect of feeding on other vampires. The bed dipped beside me and I opened my eyes as wide as I could, which was about half mast, to see Busa leaning down above me.

"What-" I had to stop and swallow before continuing. "What you doing?" He froze and I noticed his eyes glowing a dim red.

"The wound on your neck is still bleeding pretty freely. If you are to stay sustained off of what you took from Ruka the wound must be sealed." I frowned at him but couldn't argue with his logic.

Ruka was probably still a puddle of bliss so that left him to do what he could. We didn't know why I healed slower than most pure-bloods when wounded by fangs. I just did. An unfortunate weakness since I, like most mortals, enjoyed a good bite now and then, a pleasure considered vulgar in the vampire aristocracy. I think Busa expected me to argue with him but I was simply too worn out. I rolled my head to the side, exposing the bite on my neck. He hissed and after a moment I felt his fingers brush gently along the skin. I could feel how torn the wound was as his fingers trailed over it all.

"I'll kill him for this! How dare he mistreat you so heinously!" I could taste his anger on the air.

"My fault." I grumbled. That electric zing of anger switched to the soft, slightly bitter flavor of surprise.

"Lady Yuki-"

"It was my fault, Hanabusa. Can you just seal the wound as best you can, please." He didn't say another word. I hissed as his tongue dipped into the wound, dancing around the ragged edges.

The endorphins from his saliva combined with all that Zero had already pumped through me quickly turned the discomfort of having a fresh wound being poked at into a macabre sort of pleasure. I began enjoying each stroke of his tongue, my body tightening in response to the delicate balance of pleasurable pain. There was no way for me to hide my pleasure, he'd smell it. So I just accepted it. His mouth froze against my skin, body going stone still. He didn't even breathe for a moment before he continued. Busa got uncomfortable around me when I flashed too much skin. This was much too intimate for him. I was nearly half naked, covered in my own blood and probably reeked of sex. I was about to tell him to stop and get Ruka to replace him when he suddenly plunged his tongue into the deepest part of the bite. I groaned and dug my fingers into the bed to keep from grabbing him close to me. I fought to keep my body still, focusing everything I had on staying passive. My body ached for more carnal pleasures now that the thirst wasn't a looming threat. The wound no longer felt as deep as it once was, his tongue no longer pushing me closer to pain than pleasure at his deepest plunge. I could feel the beginnings of that long road to climax stirring within me and tried to think of anything else. Busa was blessed with the power to heal. The only catch was that he could only heal someone else if he gave up something of himself. A lot of vampire powers were grounded by a catch-22. Almost any bodily fluid would do. Why had he picked the tongue? Almost every vampire's saliva had healing properties but only a select few were as gifted at healing as Hanabusa.

"Why don't you simply use a little of your blood to heal the wound? Blood is more sufficient for such things anyway." He could heal nearly instantly with his blood. He moved back enough to show me his eyes, his mouth and chin smeared with my blood. His eyes were glowing a nice bright red and something low inside me contracted hard and fast at the garnet swirl of that hooded gaze looking down at me and the red of my blood shining on those full lips. I knew that Hanabusa would never want me like that but my body knew no logic, only need.

"Too much blood has been spilled already. I would not wish to stir your hunger again." My eyes slid shut as his tongue laved at my neck again.

Ruka and Hanabusa had been my personal guards for nearly four years now so they knew some of my darkest secrets. Things that if brought to light would prove me to be the monster Zero wanted me to be so badly. I knew what I was and what I wasn't. I was the monster. I was the very thing Zero feared me to be. I knew this and yet I wanted more than anything else that he never know. If Zero ever saw the darkest parts of me he would never be able to see anything else. Tears pricked at my eyes.

"You taste sad, Lady Yuki." Hanabusa was looking down at me again. I looked away and exposed my neck to him more.

"Finish." I said. "Please." I didn't want to think about Zero or Kaname or what I'd done. I simply wished to be somewhere, anywhere else. His mouth sealed around what was left of the wound, tongue working over it with an edge of some intense emotion that I couldn't bring myself to analyze. His eyes were half-lidded when he pulled away from me five minutes later, wiping the blood from his chin and mouth with the back of his hand.

"You're wound is sealed." His voice was thick with a liquid drawl around the edges, heavy with the high that came from my blood. I watched his eyes, a little wide, as he backed away. He was breathing heavier than normal. I frowned. What had he seen in my eyes? I sat up on the bed, the world trailing slowly behind me as if there was a lag in my perception of reality. Busa reached out as if to steady me but his hand froze mid-motion and he began pulling away. I grabbed his hand out of reflex and he flinched but didn't pull away. He stared at our hands and shook his head using his other hand to gently extract his fingers from mine, clasping my hand between both of his. His head was bowed, still shaking back and forth.

"I am afraid I am not myself this night. I'd ask that you excuse me, lady Yuki."

"Busa?" I fought the calming blanket of endorphins to hold onto the glimmer of concern waving at the edges of my attention. He shook his head and retracted his hands, despite my efforts to grab one of them.

"Hanabusa, what-"

"I must leave. My apologies, Yuki." He was already disappearing through the doorway to the room. Ruka was sitting against the far wall, struggling to focus her eyes on me.

"I don't have words for how sorry I am, Ruka." She shook her head, once each direction.

"S'ok." She was slurring as she spoke and had to swallow twice before continuing. "It's my job to make sure you are taken care of."

"No. This is not part of your job." I shook my head then bowed it towards the floor. "This won't happen again. I can assure you." I could damn near taste her fear and loss spike through the air. I cocked my head to the side as I looked up at her. How curious. Before I bit her I'd smelled her anticipation, felt her complete submission to my bite. Now she was scared, sad. Then something occurred to me. Something Takuma had told me a while back.

"How long did you feed, Kaname?" Her head jerked up from where she'd let it hang in defeat.

"How do you know that?" Her eyes were shiny with fear, the air rancid with the acrid smell. "Who told you?" Her voice had the beginnings of anger in it. I smiled slightly and shook my head with a sigh, leaning back on my hands to look at her.

"I am aware of your feelings for him, Ruka. Always have been." Her mouth fell open and she seemed to be floundering for something, anything to say. I held one hand up to stop her. "It's okay, Ruka. We can't help who we love." The shock on her face was so intense I almost laughed. Almost.

In our PR battle with the humans to make us look more acceptable Kaname had instituted a plethora of rules he demanded we obey while traveling on this international tour. Especially rules about behavior, particularly feeding habits. One such rule was that only the lesser vampires, aka anyone not pure-blood, were allowed to feed and only on people delegated by the head honcho of the week. Unless someone insisted, Kaname made sure that neither him nor I fed on anyone but our own people, so we look more reserved and show the humans they're not the only source of sustenance for us. Them not being likened to a food source was, not surprisingly, a huge help in our campaign. Vampire blood would sustain us but consuming a regular diet of it meant we had to feed more often. However, there are interesting perks like sexual euphoria, and depending on how powerful the vampire, you got additives like body highs you wouldn't believe. Lets not forget that for a short time you have access to magic they specialize in. It was usually only like dabbling in their magic pot, you could only use their abilities until you metabolized their blood and even then it was minor ability. Fun, nonetheless. The interesting side-effects made it a delicious experience, regardless of the increased consumption.

Ruka had made it pretty impossible on several occasions that anyone but her feed Kaname. Now she looked at me like a dog waiting to be kicked and it made my heart hurt to see that look in her eyes. She expected me to hurt her. To cast her away. Some got hooked on the bite, others the feed, but both could be addictive and start a homicidal pattern of substance abuse, which would be the end of our little campaign if the media ever got a hold of that juicy little tidbit. I got off the bed and walked over to her. Her eyes widened as I knelt between her already parted legs.

"What are you doing?" I leaned in and heard her breathing speed up as my lips brushed her neck just above my bite mark. I froze and just observed her reaction to my closeness. Her heart was already racing, breath coming faster and her desire kicked up a notch as if it had been there the whole time, leaves stirring in the wind.

"Yuki?" I ran my tongue along my bite which was still leaking a slow flow of blood.

She stopped breathing. I wanted to smile but settled for placing my mouth over the wound. Just a little bit wider and my fangs would sink right back into the wound. Her breath finally left her on a shuddering sigh. I focused my magic into where my skin, my tongue danced against her, feeling the wounds knit closed beneath my tongue as I imagined it. I pulled away as soon as the wound was healed and sat back watching the pleasure of the endorphins dance across Ruka's face.

"You're addicted to the bite?" Her head lulled down so that she was staring at the floor.

"I am not addicted. But I cannot deny it is a weakness of mine." When I was silent for a moment she coughed out something that sounded like a sad laugh. "Disgusting. I know." I shook my head and curled my fingers under her chin lifting her head. Her eyes were wide, shining with tears she refused to let fall.

"It is not a crime to do something that feels good." She smiled, tears tugging at both the edges of her mouth and my heart.

You couldn't go through the things we'd gone through these past five years and not have bonded. Not with any of them. Every vampire closest to me, that had thrown their life on the line again and again for me, bled, and in a few cases, nearly died for me. Those that I had healed or that had healed me. Those that fed me. Those that were loyal, honest and truthfully a pain in the ass more often then not. Those people were also those I laughed with the most, and on a few occasions, cried with. They were all individual and uniquely beautiful and I loved them. I valued them all. _More than you value Kaname?_ I shoved the question away and let Ruka see how much I valued her. She needed it. We all did sometimes.

"Stop looking at me like that." Her voice was gruff with some emotion. I shook my head and smiled at her causing a frown to furrow her perfectly arched brow. "You make it difficult to hate you, Yuki." My smile widened and I fought off the laugh that tickled in the back of my throat. I knew why she wanted to hate me and I was okay with it. She loved him. So did I, but I was beginning to suspect it wasn't enough.

"What thought has chased the sun from your eyes?" I realized I was frowning and smiled at her.

"Why do all vampires speak so prettily?" I saw the first genuine smile from her all night and I had to smile along.

"Not all vampires speak so eloquently, lady Yuki."

"All the vampires I know do."

"That is because all the vampires you know are aristocrats." I frowned.

"True." I smiled suddenly. "But I've killed a lot of level E vamps!" She laughed a peal of sound that would turn heads in a bar and nodded.

"So you have, lady Yuki. You're skill in combat is ever more impressive."

"You see!" I gestured at her with both hands. "You all speak flattery as if it were a language of seduction that rolls off the tongue." She smiled brilliantly at me.

"Very eloquently put." I shrugged and gave her my aw-shucks smile.

"I try." I stood and offered her my hand. "Bygones?" She slapped her hand into mine and laughed as I pulled her to her feet.

"Never. But that's what makes our relationship so interesting." I laughed and began walking to the door.

"Reece is gonna be so pissed." I mumbled at my watch. We were nearly two hours late for his dance class. Ruka groaned in the background.

"I hate him."

"You don't like most people, Ruka."

"I hate dancing." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Just shut up and dance, Ruka." She groaned again as she shut the door behind us.

… **...**

 **Two days later**

 **The night before the Halloween dance**

"You are Mr. Kaname Kuran's wife?" I sighed and answered his question for the second time.

"Yes, Mr. Moto."

"You are a woman." Yeah I am. I guess it took him that long to figure it out.

"I am. That's usually what the term wife implies, Mr. Moto."

"Women are not politicians." I rolled my eyes and bit my lip to keep from screaming at him.

"I am Mr. Kuran's wife as we've established twice already. The union between my husband and I means more to us than a decorative title, Mr. Moto."

"I will deal directly with Mr. Kuran." Not every politician was this bigoted, I swear. Only most of them. In my experience if you got to know any politician enough to scratch just below the surface you always found the soft black soil of a deeply rooted belief. Or two. Or ten, depending on the person.

"I founded the Coalition for Vampire and Human relations (CVHR) alongside my husband, Mr. Moto. I can assure you that everything discussed between us will be done so in confidence and our exchange will be regarded as if Kaname himself were present."

"But he _won't_ be with us and I will not discuss politics with a woman. Women cannot adequately understand such things as a man can." I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut tight, pacing in the courtyard.

"Shall I recount to you the failure of every policy you have put in effect since your re-election, Mr. Moto? Or maybe the scandal floating around about you and-"

"Hush your disrespectful mouth, woman!"

"I have a name, Mr. Moto and a title. I'm sure a man as competent as yourself would be knowledgeable about such things. At this point you are proving to be an undignified, disrespectful joke of a politician. I can help you or you can continue to behave as such and I take all my people and we leave Japan, never to return. Let me be abundantly clear, Mr. Moto. I will not lightly take being so openly mocked, nor will I be disrespected or ignored. You will treat me with honor or all dealings between us are finished." He was quiet for a long moment, nothing but his breath coming over the line.

"Your husband allows you to speak as if your word were his?"

"I've already said as much." He was silent again for a long while and I was content to let him stew until he'd thought of something intelligent to say.

"I cannot fathom allowing my wife such power. Women were never meant for such things, no offense intended, Mrs. Kuran." I resisted the urge to ask him how it could be possible that I not find that offensive and soldiered on.

"Do we understand each other, Mr. Moto?" He cleared his throat.

"And if you leave Japan and do not return what would Japan be considered to you? Would you call us your enemy?" I smiled and felt how unpleasant it was.

If we did decide to leave Japan would potentially be losing a great ally but on the flip side of that coin, they'd be free from a metric shit ton of political maneuvering. If we made allies with another country they might see it as a threat. Then again, they might take it wrong when we started negotiating with the Chinese. I would have to talk to Kaname at some point about making an international address clarifying that we do not intend to ally ourselves with any particular country, or else we might be facing all out war soon.

"Now, Mr. Moto, no such words ever left my lips."

"You speak in riddles."

"I speak politics. The two are nearly one in the same." He laughed and it was a pleasant masculine rumble that came to me just fine across the phone.

"At least you're good for a laugh."

"I asked you a question, Mr. Moto. Do we understand each other?" He made some noise in the back of his throat.

"Not nearly enough, Lady Yuki." His voice was filled with light, inquisitive humor. He was a sexist bigot but he was not as foolish as he might seem. "You may come see me tomorrow around noon. Maybe you'd let me serve you a light lunch while we discuss things?"

"That sounds wonderful, Mr. Moto. I will see you then." We said our goodbyes and I slumped in relief as the call log disappeared off my screen. I ran my hand over my face and grumbled.

"That could have gone badly." I looked up to see Zero and the headmaster walking across the courtyard to me.

"What are you talking about?" Father frowned at me, stopping roughly ten feet back.

"Open ended threats with the Prime minister of Japan?" He sucked his tongue at me then smiled to lighten the statement. I smiled in return, a sinister edge creeping at the corners.

"I simply let him infer whatever he wanted from a very broad response. I find that politicians, the media, royals, etc., etc. all love to weave their own meaning into the most harmless of statements." He laughed at me and I smiled with him.

"You have gained quite the head for politics."

"I'm learning."

"Does Kaname know of your pending relations with the Japanese government?" Zero asked.

A harmless question really but my smile was just suddenly gone, face blank like someone had flipped a switch. No I hadn't told him yet. I didn't think I was going to tell him. He might try to persuade me not to go to the meeting and I couldn't have that. He'd find out tomorrow anyway when he watched the news. He always watched the news. That was the only thing he watched really. He took my silence to be the answer it was.

"Don't you think if you're going to be throwing around your weight as his wife and partner it would be more beneficial to have your husband be knowledgeable of your actions?" I kept my face blank. There was logic to what he was saying. I had thought the very same thing myself at least twice before making the call to Mr. Moto. But I was pretty sure I'd settled on not telling him.

"I will take your advice under consideration." His face screwed up into something unpleasant.

"Take my advice under consideration? Prettily wrapped political bullsh-"

"Enough." The command in the headmaster's voice silenced both of us. He shook his head at the both of us and began walking off. "Come, Zero. We have work to do." Zero glared at me as he strode past. Tonight kick-started the training program of the guardians. Zero was to train them as he'd trained to be a vampire hunter. He hadn't like it very much at first but after a lot of arguing he'd finally seen the wisdom of it.

I watched them until they disappeared through the doorway to the courtyard into the thick dark of the woods beyond then began to mosey towards my last miserable dance class and wished I could just Rip Van Winkle this shit. It would be nice to wake up twenty years from now and see that the world didn't need me to fix it. Or I'd wake up to a post-apocalyptic world where one species had brutalized the other into near extinction at a deadly cost. With that pleasant thought I threw myself into the world of music with all the glee of a jailbird flying free for the first time in decades.

… **...**

 **Four Hours and Change Later**

I swung the door open, a mushroom cloud of smoke billowing around me as I scrubbed the water from my hair. My hair was thick enough that if I didn't get as much water out of it as I could it would take hours to fully dry. Wet hair on silk or satin just didn't bode well. I flipped my hair back and nearly jumped out of my skin. Zero was draped across my bed. One leg hanging casually over the edge of the bed, the other bent at the knee. His shirt gaped open more than usual at the throat, three buttons undone instead of the typical two, exposing the beginning of all that finely tuned muscle underneath. His ever longer silver hair was splayed around his head and shoulders like a liquid silver halo. Those breathtaking silver-purple eyes were watching me watch him. A smile curled the corners of his mouth into something devious. He looked marvelous, all silver, white and black framed by the rich blue of my sheets.

"You look like you're posed for a wandering photographer." His smile widened but he remained quiet. I frowned and adjusted the towel under my arms. "What are you doing here, Zero?" He shrugged, a smooth roll of shoulders.

"Our conversation earlier was interrupted." I glanced over to the door seeing the chair I had wedged under the knob still in place. The windows were closed. I had no idea how he kept getting in here, so I asked.

"How the fuck do you keep getting in here?" I gestured vaguely at the blocked door and he grinned, but that was it. For some reason he was really pissing me off right now. I shoved my anger down and tried to be reasonable. "I have to get dressed, Zero." He leaned up on his elbows and cocked his head to the side with a coy smile.

"Then proceed." I frowned at him and crossed my arms under my breasts.

"Maybe you'd like to pretend for a few minutes that you're a gentleman and, I don't know, turn the hell around?" His head went back as he laughed, a deep roll of sound that had me smiling.

His chest and stomach muscles seized with his joy, straining the shirt. I swallowed hard, closed my eyes and shook my head before looking back at him. The room was beginning to feel a lot warmer and I knew I might not be able to keep control of myself around him. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. My body had reacted to him like this for what felt like forever, but these past few days had shown that things were different now. Whenever he's around me I can't focus on anything else, my body warms, aches to be close to him.

I shook my head and only then noticed Zero staring at me. He had this curious smile on his face that seemed to ask, _penny for your thoughts?_ I sighed and turned my back on him. He wouldn't turn away? Fine. I walked over to the armoire and let the towel slip off me as I pulled open the thick, solid wood of the doors. I felt his eyes on me as I knelt to get a pair of underwear from the drawer at the bottom. Only the sounds of me moving around punctuated the incredibly thick silence in the room. My breath came faster knowing he was watching me slip the black lace of the underwear up my thighs. Kaname had been quite the bad influence on my entire wardrobe. My underwear selection in particular. I don't think I owned a pair of panties that weren't lace, satin, silk, low-cut, skimpy or any combo of the lot. The underwear I wore now were a mere breath of lace covering only what decency demanded. I adjusted the thin line of lace over my hip, the string of the thong settling in place. It was too late for a bra when I'd just be going to bed soon. I wished like hell at that moment that I had at least one plain, long t-shirt instead of the slinky, albeit incredibly comfortable, pajamas that had found there way into my closet. I sighed, deciding that the satin shorts and tank top were more appropriate than the nearly nonexistent nightgown that could double as lingerie. The shorts were small, stopping an inch below my ass. The tank top cut short enough that my belly button was visible, the soft satin of the hem dancing against my skin as I moved around the room. His eyes never wavered and something about having his undivided attention just did it for me.

I padded into the bathroom and hung the towels up, cleaned my ears, brushed my hair and when I walked out Zero was right where I'd left him. He'd been staring at the doorway where I'd disappeared. I stopped by the bedside table, two feet away from him, as I plugged my phone in. I smelled it then. Just barely there like a perfume lingering long after its owner was gone. I closed my eyes and breathed in the faint smell of his arousal. I fought against the shiver that threatened to creep up my spine. I turned and faced him. His eyes met mine and he seemed perfectly content to just lay there, watching me. His breathing was quick and shallow, lips slightly parted. I licked my lips.

"Did you have some purpose in coming here? Or did you come just to watch me?"

"As much as I enjoy watching you I do have a purpose for being here." I raised an eyebrow in question but he had fallen silent again.

"Well?" I asked. Nothing. I fought the wave of agitation pushing in. "You stare at me a lot, now. Not like you used to."

"You've changed a lot and aren't the same Yuki." I frowned.

"What are you talking about?" His expression never changed as he spoke.

"The old Yuki was soft, precious. What is it about these past five years that has hardened you so?"

"Do you miss the old Yuki?" He shook his head.

"You deflected my question." I nodded.

"You answer mine and I'll try to answer yours." He cocked his head with a slight smile and suddenly sat up.

"Fair enough." I took a big step back and crossed my arms, waiting. The silence was thick, the kind of silence where you both have something to say but neither wants to squeal first. I sighed. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

"Fine. I guess I'll start since you asked first." I paused and thought, really thought about how to convey in as few words as possible what had happened to me in the past five years. I laughed as the answer came to me. "I grew up."

"What?" He frowned up at me and I couldn't help but smile. He was so cute when confused.

"You asked what happened to me these past five years. The answer is, I grew up."

"That's it?" His question fell flat between the two of us. I nodded.

"That's the shortest explanation."

"I didn't ask for the shortest explanation."

"No. You want details that I don't feel inclined to share."

"Well, maybe I don't feel inclined to answer your question either." Anger spiked through me.

"I'm not in the mood for this tonight, Zero."

"Just answer the question and I'll answer yours." I felt my face set into hard, angry lines.

"Why do you want to know so bad, Zero? So you can point fingers and call me a monster?"

"Just answer the damned question, Yuki!" His voice was thick with his own anger.

"Fine. In this campaign Kaname and I have humbled ourselves in ways I can't, no won't, even begin to tell you. Do you want to know that I've had friends die in my arms? That we've all nearly died at least once? That every time we go out anywhere we run the risk of getting injured or killed. Do you want to know that we all put our lives on the line on a regular basis. I have killed, bled, cried, screamed and damn near whored myself for this fucking cause! Is that what you wanted to know, Zero?" He was so still, so quiet that my rapid breathing was nearly deafening. My heart raced at the memory of my friend's blood pouring over me, his life leaking away while I was powerless to stop it. I shook my head and gestured to the door.

"You need to leave."

"Yuki-"

"No." I shook my head, eyes squeezed shut tight. "Leave." He was so quiet I fought the urge to open my eyes to see if he was still there. I just stood there and breathed, trying to shove down the storm of emotions swirling inside me.

"Who was it?" His voice came from right in front of me. I jumped back a foot, eyes still closed. I don't know why but I needed not to see him. I had a feeling that if I looked at him I'd break.

"Who was what?" I asked.

"Don't make me say it, Yuki." His voice was softer than it had been throughout our few but frequent encounters so far. An edge of the compassion of the old Zero threaded its way through his words. I swallowed past the hard lump forming in the back of my throat.

"Akatsuki." I spit the name out as if it burned my tongue on the way out. My heart squeezed tight for a moment. Tears burned my eyes. I didn't want to cry dammit! I was supposed to be stronger than this. I'd already done my crying for Akatsuki.

"How did it happen?" My rage blurred my vision as my eyes snapped open.

"Do you enjoy poking fun at my wounds, Zero?" The rage in my voice was scalding. He was quiet, the compassion in his eyes made my chest tighten. I closed my eyes again and turned my back on him. It was easier if I could pretend he wasn't watching me, waiting for me to speak.

"Kaname caught on pretty quick and early on made it so that every guard never went without a partner. Hanabusa and Ruka were my guards to start with. We quickly realized that their personalities clashed too much for them to be effective partners. So Akatsuki replaced Hanabusa. For the first year they were who I spent most of my time with." I paused and took a couple deep breaths.

"Akatsuki was always so sympathetic to other people's emotional toil. In the beginning when I couldn't handle the constant moving, fighting and politicking he was the one who held me close and wiped away my sorrows. He healed me, fed me on occasion, held me when I cried, bled for me, laughed with me. Yet when I needed someone to tell me I was being a fool he still stepped up. He was never afraid to tell me I was being an ass, and he did it in the most frustratingly polite manner so that I couldn't bitch at him without feeling like a complete douche." I smiled and the first tear slipped down my cheek. I angrily swiped it away.

"What do you know of Kaname's political campaign, Zero?"

"Not much. I know that you and Kaname are suspected of fucking your way into a treaty with quite a few reputable politicians." I smiled despite myself.

"They're not very reputable if they're accused of such lowly deeds now are they." It was an emotionless statement that sounded cold even to me.

"I know now that this thing you and he are doing is obviously much messier than I thought." I scoffed.

"You could say that." I turned to face him. "Do you know that there are vampires out there as well as humans that are skulking in the shadows plotting our demise? They don't like being known. They like things just the way they've always been."

"So they're what? Attempting to kill you guys before this vampire/human treaty comes about?" I nodded.

"The vampire hunter population has sky-rocketed and the most obvious targets are spotlit center stage. Between them and the vampires out to hunt us we are in constant danger."

"Okay."

"This game of politics is a treacherous one." He was quiet for a moment.

"What does this have to do with Akatsuki?" Just hearing Zero say his name so casually made my chest squeeze tight for a moment. I fought the tears burning up the back of my throat.

"You really want to know?" He stared at me for a moment, a long, thorough, calculating stare. Finally he nodded. I took him at his word and began moving toward him. We were only feet apart so I was standing in front of him before he had time to do much more than frown in confusion. I reached my hands up to his face. His hands were suddenly around my wrists so that my hands looked incredibly small in his grasp.

"What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to know." He nodded.

"I did." I smiled but it felt sad.

"It's easier if I just show you." I had only recently discovered about six months ago that I could share my memories and glimpse into other people's past through touch. Sometimes it happened by accident. If I was thinking too hard and was sitting too close to someone they were probably going to get a little peek into my brain.

"What are you going to do?" I offered him a weak smile.

"I'm going to show you my last memory of him." He was breathing hard as he stared into my eyes for all the world as if he was searching for an answer to some unasked question.

"Yuki, I-" He froze in mid-sentence and for a moment I saw a real flash of pain in his eyes before he closed them and nodded, placing my hands on either side of his face. I didn't need to touch his face in particular, I just needed to touch him, but he didn't know that and I wasn't going to argue. His eyes opened so that he watched me. I thought about moving away and simply telling him. He didn't need to see what I'd seen.

His hands slipped slowly away from my wrists, falling to his sides as he stared at me, waiting. I could see the pulse racing in the side of his throat. He was scared and doing a damn good job of hiding it but wouldn't back down. Brave man. My fingers smoothed along his jaw, across his cheek bones so that my palms rested on his cheeks, fingertips resting in the silk of his hairline. If he was brave enough to try it I was brave enough to show him.

I closed my eyes and let that part of myself that had never been human, the part of me that was innately magical, mystical, take over. My magic filled me, swirling along the underside of my skin in ways that I knew wasn't possible, a cool breeze on a sunny spring morning chasing my hair across my neck and face. I felt the exact moment my magic settled over Zero. He took a gasping breath and his entire body jerked right before a soft pop sounded through my head, a sound only I could hear, as I slipped into Zero's mind. I had to try real hard to not look into his brain, to only do what I was here to do but it was difficult. This power was new and relatively untested. No one really wanted someone rooting around in their brain, so consequently I had very little control over it. I could see in brilliant blue flashes, like lightning, memories among the vast ink black expanse that was his mind. It was hard to resist the temptation to immerse myself in those memories, to learn more of this man. I let the memory of that day sweep over me. I don't know why but when sharing memories with someone they became so clear, as if I were reliving them. I heard Zero groan as the rush of emotions and images flooded over us.

 _We were surrounded. Every entrance was covered by steel panic doors, a fallout safety precaution. The knife sticking out of my side scraped against the underside of a rib. I winced as I plunged my short sword into the side of the neck of the woman riding me to the floor as she ground the knife in deeper. Blood sprayed from her throat in a hot rain against my face, throat and chest as arms ripped her away from me, tearing my blade through the soft flesh._

 _Akatsuki was suddenly hovering over me, eyes doing a quick assessment of the damage before he whirled and intercepted a woman with one wicked looking blade. They rolled across the floor as I shoved myself to my feet. I heard a scream and looked to my right in time enough to see Ruka fall to her knees. I was suddenly slammed back into the wall behind me so hard I heard my ribs snap on impact. I was blindsided by a fist smashing into my face. Once, twice, three times. I brought my knife down but the thing on top of me snapped my forearm sending the knife clattering to the floor. I screamed as they ripped the knife out of my side. I didn't wait for them to plunge the blade home. I flung myself not away from them but into them, wrapping my body as tightly around them as I could. I felt my attacker hesitate for just a moment out of confusion before they realized the danger they were in. But it was too late. A moment had been all I'd needed. I sank all two inches and change of my battle fang into the soft flesh of their throat and worried at it. I tore huge chunks of flesh away so easily. Blood poured down the front of us as the sharp sound of my fangs snapping through their neck sounded. I had done so much damage so fast that my attacker only then fell to their knees. I unwound myself and was back on my feet allowing myself for a moment to watch the man's eyes, staring in wide-eyed panic up at me, glass over._

 _I glanced around me and watched Rima fall to the floor, unconscious or dead, I didn't know. Seiren was a bloody lump on the floor not ten feet from me. The pale lavender of her hair was a rich purple as blood began to pool beneath her head. I saw a blur of something racing towards me and turned, knowing I was going to be too slow. I was suddenly knocked back on my ass as Akatsuki's body slammed my attacker from the side. They both went through the wall. A moment later Akatsuki came flying back through. He rolled to his feet as three men closed around him. I rushed forward, awkwardly fumbling my H &K from it's holster under my left arm with my left hand, my right hanging uselessly at my side. I fired point blank into the back of the enemy head closest to me. Akatsuki blinked away the brains and thicker things that splattered across his face as he grappled with a man much taller than himself. _

_My shoulder suddenly went completely numb with a searing hot pain, my gun clunking onto the floor. I felt my eyes widen as the blood began to blossom where the bullet had entered. There was no more pain, just a numb uselessness that let me know I was hurt much worse than I thought. A woman stepped in front of me with a thin blade nearly as long as she was tall. Both of my arms were rendered useless, my vision was beginning to grey a little around the edges and the sounds of fighting were growing dim. The battle was almost over and something told me that this time, we might not be the victors._

 _She grinned at me and winked before rushing me. I was already moving, trying to throw myself out of her way but I stumbled, a clumsy mistake that was about to cost me my life. I had a moment to realize that this was it and to wonder if Kaname had made it out. I accepted my fate as I watched that blade swing towards me and could do nothing. I had all the time in the world to see death coming and no time to bargain with him. Right as I thought the blade was going to strike my world spun and I felt no pain to accompany the sound of blade piercing flesh. I was shoved forward landing painfully on my useless arms. I ignored the waves of pain now sweeping over and through me and quickly rolled onto my back. I watched in horror as that thin blade slipped out the front of Akatsuki. The blood didn't start to well from the wound until she jerked it free of him, proving just how sharp the blade was. His eyes widened a second before I watched her blade explode out of his chest a second time, point towards the ceiling. Blood began pouring in a steady stream down his chin as he fell to his knees, jerking the blade up through him a little further. I saw her behind him trying to jerk the blade free from the confines of his ribcage. She'd spitted him in an upwards angle, going for the heart so with a blade that long it would take some finagling to remove. A scream built at the back of my throat, tears forming a lump that acted as a temporary gag. She had almost freed her sword when her head exploded in a spray of meat, blood and gore. I scrambled toward Akatsuki. I yanked the blade out of him with my left hand, forgetting the gunshot wound, and fell to the floor under his weight as he collapsed against me. I rolled him onto his side to keep him from choking on his own blood, pulling as much of him into my lap as I could. Tears blurred my vision as I frantically searched through my mind for something, anything to do. He coughed, splattering blood across me, but I didn't care. My chest hurt as his panicked eyes rolled up to me. His lips were moving but I couldn't tell what he was trying to say. I shook my head._

" _I can't hear you, Kat." I shook my head as he tried again and the real tears came. "Kat, I can't hear you." I shoved my wrist into his fangs against his mouth. "Drink, Kat." He pulled away, blood pouring from his mouth as he choked. If only I could get him to drink some of my blood I might be able to heal some of his internal wounds. I might be able to save him. His body began to shake against mine as his fingers dug into my waist and thighs._

" _Please! Drink from me, Akatsuki! Let me save you!" He shook his head as he stared up at me and if he hadn't been choking on blood I might have sworn he smiled at me. The first glint of that glassy sheen was creeping around the edges of those burnt-orange eyes. The orange-brown of his hair was lost, made into something the color of a rich wood, sticky with blood beneath my fingers as I pushed it away from his face. My tears dropped down onto his face as I tried once more to feed him. He turned his face into my lap and squeezed tighter where he gripped me. I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me._

" _You better not leave me! I can save you, Akatsuki. Let me save you!" I knew for sure he smiled at me now and the first sob escaped my lips as his shaking fingers brushed my cheek. My eyes widened, breathing quickening as he told me, not in words but in emotions, one last goodbye. I felt his magic rush over me on a warm summer wind, chasing my hair away from my face. I felt for one moment all the complexities of his heart. He gave it all to me, holding nothing back. I drowned in the depths of his final moments and knew it would never be enough as his heart slowed with each rush of emotion. I held his body against mine and wept at the loss of so much. Passion, love, regret, respect, devotion, admiration, fear, longing. A storm of emotions that swept faster and faster until that final meaty staccato sounded. I stopped breathing as I stared down into the strangely peaceful depths of those beautiful eyes and felt his heart cease. My heart stuttered. His final words whispered through my mind as the sun set behind the glassy sheen of death._

" _Fight, my queen. Fight!" I stared in disbelief for a moment, jerking in shock as I was abruptly cut off from everything he had once been, everything I had felt. I felt him slip away and could do nothing but hold onto his shell and cry. I rocked him in my arms as his still warm blood leaked over me and fought the scream in my throat. Fought the pain, tried to ignore my heart fracturing, imploding from the weight of so much grief._

I tore away from the memory, jerking away from Zero. I staggered back a step, eyes wide with the fresh pain of Akatsuki's death. At some point Zero had fallen to his knees, head tipped back so he was staring at me. He watched me fall to my knees and wrap my arms around my stomach as if I could hold in all that pain. I swallowed a scream and tried to hate him for doing this to me. I tried to hate Zero in that moment. I fumbled to my feet, staggering back a step, and uselessly swiped angrily at the tears steadily leaking down my face. Zero stared at me with wide, pain filled eyes, darkened to a near solid purple with my anguish, one palm rubbing his chest over his heart. I watched him cry for me for the first time ever and felt my heart break all over again. I shoved the back of my hand against my mouth and spun away from him. I couldn't see that look on his face because it made me want to scream.

"Yuki, I-" His voice was thick with tears, my tears, my pain. I shook my head and cleared my throat. I closed my eyes and shoved that pain down, forced it back into that little black box in the back of my mind. I took a few deep breaths.

"Yuki-"

"Don't. Whatever you're going to say, just don't." He made some small noise in his throat that sounded too much like pain for my comfort. I turned around and cocked my head, brow furrowing in confusion. He wouldn't look at me, staring intently at the floor as he rubbed his chest above where his heart was.

"Was this the only one?" His voice was choked with the pain I knew he felt. I swallowed hard and willed myself not to cry.

"No." The word was clipped, harsh and cold. He looked up at me from his knees on the floor and shook his head, face crumbling into something I couldn't handle right now. I whirled away so that I was staring at the door.

"Please don't do that." The tears were thick in my voice.

"Yuki-" I squeezed my eyes shut tight and shook my head.

"Yuki?" His voice was closer now and I felt a fine trembling begin in my muscles. I shook my head harder.

"Stop." It was just a whisper of sound because any louder and I'd start yelling.

"It's okay." I was shaking my head non-stop now. "Yuki." I jumped and fought to stay put as his voice sounded from right in front of me. His hands gripped my face, forcing me to stop shaking my head. He moved until he caught my eyes. I was breathing too fast, eyes too wide. My heart was racing. "It's okay. Scream." I swallowed hard past the scream in question at the back of my throat, nearly choking me now. I had to swallow three times before I could speak.

"If I start screaming now I might never stop." One hot tear rolled down my cheek to accompany my whispered words, squeezed out under too much pressure. A single crystalline tear carved its way down his face.

"Scream, Yuki." There was a gruff edge to his voice like he was talking around something. I yanked away from him and moved towards the bed. I ripped my hand repeatedly through my hair as I paced rapidly around the room trying to get my shit under control. I stared out the window until the numbness that follows a really good crying session settled over me. We were quiet for so long I thought Zero might have left.

"He loved you." I nodded.

"I know." A brief silence settled over us again before he spoke.

"How many? Who else have you lost?"

"Hideki, Airi, Jean, Izumi, Juro, Kenichi, Luca, Kokoro, Madoka, Makato, Meiko, Gregoir. The list goes on."

"I don't recognize any of those names."

"No. I don't suppose you would. Most of them are vampires and humans that found there way into our employ after all of this began." My voice sounded so cold, so detached.

"You have lost much."

"Too much."

"Is it worth it?" I turned and looked at him because I realized I didn't know how to answer that question. I think I'd seen too much too fast, lost too much. Some things took pieces of you, some larger than others, but if you let it life would eat you alive. I was probably missing most of my viscera at this point. I gave him the only answer I had.

"I'm not sure anymore."

"Then why fight?"

"Because I have to."

"Why you?" I tried to smile but I don't think it was successful.

"If not me and Kaname then who? If not now then when, Zero?" He didn't seem to know what to do with my answer.

"No. I can't accept that." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Oh? And why-ever not?" He shook his head, face screwing up like he had a bitter flavor in his mouth.

"Why does this have to be your battle? Why take on so much when you don't have to?" The first warmth of anger stirred through me.

"Why? Why you ask? Tell me Zero, how much death is enough? We wade through life knee deep in the blood of our friends, allies, family members. We allow this war between hunter and vampire to twist us into something that we needn't be."

"Bullshit."

"Really? Bullshit is it?" I sneered at him and stepped forward. "Do you own a mirror, Zero?"

"Of course I do."

"You should try using it every once in a while." His face twisted into the passively angry mask he'd presented to me since I'd returned.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I laughed a quick burst of sound.

"You are the perfect example of everything I'm fighting against."

"I don't understand."

"You and the rest of the world." Anger and confusion chased across his face in equal measure. I sighed and moved past him to sit on the foot of my bed. Exhaustion pulled at me, the kind that makes you want to curl up and die for like a week.

"'There ain't no rest for the wicked.'" I mumbled to myself.

"What?" I shook my head.

"I'm tired, Zero." I left off the part where I asked him to leave but thought it was pretty obvious. Apparently it wasn't because he stood there and stared at me. "You said you came here for something. What was it?"

"Nothing of importance. I'll leave you to rest." He removed the chair from under the doorknob and began unlocking it. Maybe he was as exhausted as I was or maybe he just didn't want to reveal his secrets but I watched him unbar the door and wondered again how he kept getting into my room. If I hadn't been so tired I might have insisted on knowing why he'd come to me but honestly at that moment I wanted nothing more than for him to leave.

"How many of your friends and allies have to die before you'll see how futile this is? If you let your heart break too many times there will be nothing left to enjoy this world you're trying to build, Yuki. Don't be so careless."

"It would be careless beyond the measure of words if I didn't try, Zero. Why can't you see this?"

"Men have always killed one another, all they ever need is an excuse. Being human alone makes one target enough. Being a vampire?" He laughed. "It's too easy, Yuki. Vampires give them something to hate without reason, to kill without mercy. They will unify against us, the humans will. The old adage, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, rings ever more true. It is only a matter of time before they rise up, prouder than ever of their humanity, browbeating, slaughtering us in the name of ignorance. You might not see it now but you will." With that he closed the door, solidly behind him. I stared where he just was and fumed.

I had seen just what he'd so explicitly summarized. I'd lived through such things. A part of me wanted to believe that this dream of peace, and eventually equality, that Kaname believed in could become reality. I wanted to believe it. I needed to believe in it to keep fighting. But the larger, more rational, part of me was screaming to run. Hide. The humans were coming. I feared that they would do just what Zero assumed they would. History has proven his theory right again and again when it was just human vs. human. Why should it be wrong now?

Why? I needed it to be right. I, Kaname and the rest of us, needed to believe that we could be other than the monster they thought us to be. I needed to believe. I needed it, almost more than my next breath. I needed to believe that humans could overcome their never-ending hatred towards anything they were ignorant of. The alternative meant the destruction of everything I held dear. I couldn't, absolutely could not, accept that.

… **...**

 **The Night of the Halloween Dance**

I groaned as I twirled in the full length mirror for the hundredth time. The dress wasn't bulky nor did it have very many layers, just two. I'd thought about dressing as Elphaba but quickly decided against it when I'd seen how heavy the fabric was, not to mention the endless layering that gave the dress the slightly puffed out, signature look. I scoffed in disgust as Ruka adjusted the laces down my spine that held the dress closed.

"I should have just gone with Lysistrata." I mumbled mournfully. "It would have been so much easier. Where am I supposed to hide my weapons in this?" The bodice was tight enough that I couldn't wear a bra and it both lifted my breasts up like some creamy offering and held them perfectly in place. Amazing really. I'd love the dress if the sleeves weren't also skin tight. I was almost certain that the cloak that went with the dress would be taken at the door so there was no way to put a spine sheath on without it being noticed.

The dress was of the kind that cascaded from the hips to the floor in a pool of cloth that hid the feet completely and you either had to lift it to walk or trip endlessly and ruin it. The deep garnet red of the velvet was accented by the black silk that framed the mounds of my breasts and spilled down in a sharp V ending just below where my thighs met. Vines the red of blood spilled across moonbeams twisted and curled through all that dark silk. Black vines of silk twined around my hips, spilling down my thighs, glimmering with every shift of the light, as if they could pour down my body so that when I walked it appeared as if they flowed around me. It was by any definition a truly amazing dress and in almost any other circumstance I would absolutely love to wear it.

"Why is it that fashion and safety are almost never simpatico?"I watched Ruka roll her eyes in the mirror as she finished lacing the bodice. "If I'd have dressed as Lysistrata I'd be wearing one layer with plenty of places to hide my weapons."

"If you'd dressed as Lysistrata I think you'd be sending the wrong message." I turned to face her, ready to be angry. She held her hands up in mock surrender with a silent smirk stretching those full lips. "Dressing as a women who brandished sex as her ultimate weapon to end war when you and Lord Kaname are already suspected of similar deeds would only confirm such inclinations among the humans. Not to mention the mad frenzy the media would be in. You're already either a monster or a sex object in their eyes. What do you think would happen if the two weren't separated?" She raised her eyebrows to punctuate her question and stood from where she'd had to kneel to finish lacing my gown. I crossed my arms under my breasts and glared at her. She was right, which was what made me so damned mad.

"You know that's actually not a bad idea. Maybe we should follow Lysistrata's example. If we got every woman to ransom sex for the demise of war...hmmmmm..." I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and feigned a contemplative look. "This has possibilities!" Ruka's eyes were wide.

"You cannot be serious." I fought to keep a very straight face as I met her incredulous gaze.

"What? We'd achieve the unachievable. At minimum, a week, I'd say six months max before world-peace was a reality, not just a cliché pageant queen line." Her mouth was hanging open, a look of abject horror twisting her face. The fight to keep a straight face was almost too much. "The alternative is a lifetime of blue balls, masturbation or sodomy. Hmmmmmm..."

"I can't tell if you're serious. Please, tell me you're not serious!" I couldn't hold it in any longer. I dissolved into a near hysterical bout of laughter that ended with me doubled over, clutching at my stomach. I shook my head and wiped away the tears streaming down my face. Ruka was glaring at me, shaking her head.

"You should not joke about such things, Yuki."

"Oh, lighten up Ruka! It was just a joke." She gently took my arm and began walking me towards the chair in front of the giant vanity.

"You jest about things that are not laughing matters." I shook my head and snickered.

"Whatever you say, Ruka." She pushed me down into the chair with only a little force and I diligently sat still beneath her attentions as she primped and painted me for the night's events. After fifteen minutes of her applying things I could only guess at how to use she stepped back and gestured for me to look in the mirror. I knew I was wearing quite a bit of make-up but it was so well done that unless you had seen her apply it you might not think I was wearing much of anything. It was all so perfectly under-done, an accent here or there. The most noticeable were the shiny ruby red of my lips and my already large eyes made larger by the eyeliner and mascara she'd applied. A very nice shade of some shimmery gray eye-shadow was blended outwards so that the even chocolate brown of my eyes shone with a promise of a more exotic beauty. My hair, which had grown so long now that it tickled across my thighs just under my ass, was curled in gorgeous auburn ringlets that cascaded around my face, down my shoulders to bounce at about mid-back. I leaned forward in the mirror and gently traced the tips of my fingers down the side of my face, unable to believe I could ever look this pretty.

"Wow." I breathed in disbelief. I turned to look at Ruka and smiled. "You did an amazing job!" She smiled and dipped her head coyly.

"Thank you." She mumbled. I stood and walked over to her.

"No really, I love it! You are amazing at this stuff!" She shrugged and turned, walking to the pile of things strewn across my bed, rummaging around for something.

"I've had a lot of time to practice." She was walking back to me with the last piece to my costume in her hands when a knock sounded on the door. She handed me the silver crown of interwoven flowers and walked to the door. I couldn't help but watch as she moved. When she opened the door she froze.

"Wow..." I don't think she meant to say that because she turned to face me a little too quickly and began strutting towards me again. I saw Zero standing in the doorway behind her, watching as she moved away from him with a raised eyebrow. He moved into the room and closed the door behind him. When he turned back around he still had eyes only for Ruka who was moving around the room putting make-up and clothes away, anything to keep busy.

"And I thought my costume was risque." I heard the words but I couldn't fully comprehend them while I looked him over.

The first thing I noticed was that his beautiful silver hair was some shimmery, light blue that combined with the metallic color of his own hair was simply breathtaking. He had all that hair gelled and hair-sprayed so that it went back from his face in a sort of windblown effect. There were four sections of hair in the front draped down his forehead and I could see that the hair at the base of his skull was decorating the pale skin of his neck like forgotten pieces. Maybe he was just that fresh out the shower or it was an effect of the gel but his hair still appeared wet. There was a pale green make-up only under his eyes, fanning out from his bottom lid in what looked like a mockery of bat wings. The blue of his hair combined with the green of the make-up made his lavender eyes startlingly beautiful. Just under the eye makeup of his right eye was the bone white of his jaw, no, not his jaw. It couldn't be his jaw. I took several steps towards him without thinking so that I could get a better look. I stifled my sigh of relief at seeing that it was just a very intricately, amazingly well-done painted on depiction of a massive set of monster teeth, much smaller than his own. The coloring and shadows were convincingly done so that it looked damned near real.

I forced myself to stop staring at that massive, boney jaw, moving on to the rest of the costume and I think my heart nearly stopped. He wore nothing but a white hakama with a black sash, slung dangerously low on his hips and a ragged, white, crop-top jacket with a black interior and an upturned collar that gaped open around the lithely muscled expanse of his chest, stomach and hips, covering very little. Around his belly button was a medium sized, perfectly round black dot, big enough to put a large fist through. At his left hip was a Katana in a sheath some metallic color between a purple like the lavender of his eyes and the blue of his hair. The pommel was very simply done, the silver of the metal peeking through the course material, the same color as the sheath, used for gripping it. If I knew Zero the sword would be authentic and lethal. My mouth went dry at the sight of all that creamy flesh exposed, framed for my viewing. All it would take is undoing that sash and all he had to offer would be right there for the taking. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, shoving that thought away as hard as I could.

I opened my eyes and couldn't help but smile. As enthralled as I'd been with his costume Zero seemed helpless against my own. His eyes were incredibly wide, mouth hanging halfway open and if he was breathing a little heavily, well...I would try not to use my new found powers for evil. Ruka moved past him carrying an armful of clothes and casually reached up and closed his mouth without breaking stride. I couldn't help but laugh as Zero jumped a little and followed her with his eyes until she disappeared into the closet, quickly returning to me. He swallowed hard before clearing his throat, hands going to the lapels of his jacket as if he were going to attempt to straighten it, despite there being so little of it. I smiled at him and moved forward putting a little extra sway into my hips, the four inch heels beneath the dress made it an easy task. I don't know why I did it but the look on his face was so worth it. I stopped just in front of him and could hear his heart racing now. I flicked my eyes down the bare expanse of his chest before eyeing the marvelously done paint job on his face.

"Kyko, one of the art students volunteered to do it for me when she recognized who I was dressed as. She was really excited to put her talents to 'practical use'." I could hear the air quotes around the last. I eyed the taught, lithe muscles exposed before me and looked back up at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sure she was." He frowned at me and it was so cute I almost laughed again. "Who are you supposed to be?"

"Grimmjow."

"Who?" He offered me a smile and my heart skipped a beat seeing that his fangs were slightly extended.

"He's a character from Bleach."

"What's that?" He looked surprised for a moment before he dissolved into one of his incredibly rare laughing bouts. Ruka was just coming out of the closet and froze a lock of astonishment and awe on her face as she watched Zero. I didn't blame her. He was breathtaking when he wore this look of unexpected joy. I stopped breathing and just admired him in the moment, allowed the deep contralto of his laugh to roll of me and I found myself smiling along with him.

"You really should try to relax occasionally and watch some TV or something." His face was still bright with the afterglow of laughing, voice thick with it. I saw Ruka shake her head hard as she moved past us, like she was trying to shake the image out of her mind. He moved closer to me and all I could do was stare up at him like a deer caught in headlights as he took the silver crown from my hands, rolling it around in his hands, twisting it between his fingers as he eyed it.

"This is quite beautiful." I nodded.

"Kaname had it made to go with the costume. He had all of our costumes custom made. It is very magnificent." I said the last as if it were more a side note. He nodded while looking down at the crown before meeting my eyes, so ordinary next to the extraordinary metallic lavender of his own. He moved a step closer so that our bodies were nearly touching and gently placed the crown upon my head, fingers brushing across my hair as he stepped back.

"Not as magnificent as the woman wearing it." I felt a blush burn up my neck into my face and his eyes lit up with the brilliant smile that stretched those lush pale pink lips.

"Is it time?" Ruka's voice sounded from right behind me, startling me. Zero nodded and broke my gaze to look at her.

"You look amazing, Ruka." Whatever expression was on Ruka's face widened Zero's smile into something beautific once again. I wanted to turn and look but knew she would hate that so I stayed where I was.

"Is it time, Zero?" Her voice was a little unsteady, something I'd never heard. I turned to see Ruka's gorgeous face flushed, a nervous smile lighting her eyes, a brown similar to my own. It was almost as if she didn't know how to operate in the face of this new, happy Zero. I was reminded that Ruka hadn't ever seen this side of him. No one had really. Except me and even I only saw it once in a great while. Zero must be in a rare mood indeed to be so openly joyous in front of anyone else. For some reason I didn't like or trust this new side of Zero.

"Yes." He offered her a simple response and she nodded in return.

"Hanabusa?"

"Kaname called and had him go to the dance ahead of us to make sure that everything was safe and in order. I'm to escort Yuki to the dance with you." She nodded then looked at me.

"Are you ready, Lady Yuki?"

"Almost." I turned away from them both and walked over to the bed where only Artemis remained.

I bent over and grabbed two large handfuls of the dress and hiked it up, kicking my leg up on the bed exposing a long line of my right leg and the heels I'd chosen to go with the costume. Ruka had advised I get taller heels so that the dress didn't drag on the floor too much so here I was in four inch heels. We'd been practicing and learning dances for this damned thing for a week so there had damned straight better be some dancing. Following that logic I'd opted to by something with a thicker heel and a one inch platform. The heels were a solid black velvet with straps as broad as my pinky twining halfway up my calf. They looked great and were actually quite comfortable, or maybe I was just getting used to wearing heels finally.

The bodice of the dress was tight enough that I was forced to bend at the waist as I strapped on Artemis' thigh holster. I would have strapped it to my calf if I thought there would be no chance of flashing her tonight, but for some reason I simply didn't think that was possible. So I strapped her to my upper thigh. If I really needed her tonight in any kind of time sensitive situation I was going to be so fucked.

I turned my head to see both Ruka and Zero watching me. Ruka seemed to appreciate my caution and Zero...well, his face showed me a lot of things that I couldn't afford to contemplate right now. When I had both feet firmly planted on the floor and the dress fell perfectly once again I sashayed past them, snatching the rich, light velvet cloak off the full length mirror, stopping in front of the door to the room, one hand on the knob. I looked at them both over my shoulder with a coy smile.

"You coming?" They both jerked forward at the same time and I smiled as I turned, opening the door and walking through it. Maybe I could have some fun tonight after all. As we walked Ruka took the lead and Zero naturally fell in line behind me as if he did this regularly. I just prayed to whoever was listening that nothing got blown up, no one got hurt or killed and under it all was the shallow hope that maybe I might get to undo the sash twined so teasingly around Zero's taught waist. I chastised myself for such thoughts as we walked and instead occupied the time between the dorm and the dance by watching Ruka's ass sway in her oh so tight outfit. It was after all too perfect a view to pass up.

 **A/N- Alright guys and gals! Once again, I apologize for how long it took me to update. Things have been pretty crazy for me. I do so love this damn show! I've finished it for a second time and still cannot believe they ended it that way. GAH! I comfort myself by believing they ended it that way intentionally, keeping us Fanfic folks in mind so they could see all the interesting shit we would come up with. I apologize in advance of any outraged reviews for the demise of Akatsuki. That was really painful for me to write and even more painful for Yuki and Zero.**

 **The next update shouldn't take nearly as long but with chapters as long as these its the editing that's the real bitch. So, I hope to have the next installment to you as soon as possible! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'd love to hear what you all think so far. Ciao for now, my lovelies!**

 **P.S. I had waaaaaaaay too much fun with the costumes! ;-D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Hello again! I'm so happy to have this chapter ready so soon for you guys! Okay, I'm done talking! Enjoy!**

I was, for the twentieth time tonight, swaying in the arms of a man I was unfamiliar with, laughing that high-pitched, falsely amused sound when required, smiling and making polite conversation. If my life depended on it I couldn't tell you the name of the man in my arms. He was just another handsomely aged politician trying to figure out how I played the game.

My lunch with Mr. Moto had gone spectacular as far as I was concerned. It was the dance that was the object of my worry. Moto saw the benefit to perfecting the model of neutral vampire/human relations that Cross academy represented and agreed to explore the idea of expanding with his full support if we could only perfect the original model. As a result of our new tentative partnership we left the National Diet building, where he'd met with his cabinet earlier in the day, with me at his side. He'd made an impromptu press conference where our new friendship was made public as well as what we hoped to accomplish. He declared his attendance of the Halloween Dance at Cross Academy to be the first step in cementing his support for neutral vampire/human relations. So, consequently my progress with the Prime Minister of Japan was an international headline and now not only was the head honcho of the Japanese government in attendance but a good fraction of his cabinet as well. I'd tried to convince him to reconsider coming to the dance but he'd hear none of it, something about keeping his word and pride. The media frenzy was barely being contained at the gates to the academy and I'd managed to piss off quite a lot of Buffy wannabes by "brainwashing" their head of state with my "devil-whore magic" among other much more colorful things. I was so caught up in thinking about the powder keg we were sitting on top of that I had completely forgotten the man I was dancing with. About the time I realized this another man tapped my partner on the shoulder putting our twirling to a sudden stop.

"May I have this dance?" Mr. Moto, speak of the devil, smiled nicely at the man who dipped his head and bowed deeply, hands now firmly at his sides rather than inching closer to my ass.

The man fled as if he had somewhere important to be and then My new friend and I were spinning and twisting together at a rapid pace across the floor to some very upbeat Halloween tune talking about ghosts under the bed or something. We didn't talk with words, only our bodies, moving together in an oddly rhythmic, smooth dance. I could feel my face flush from the fast movements and found myself smiling at him. He was smiling back, eyes shining with some quiet joy. The song ended and it was only when the room exploded in applause that I realized we were the only ones on the dance floor. We both laughed breathlessly. He took my left hand in his and we bowed together. It wasn't until we were almost off the floor that people started filtering back onto it. We went and got a hard plastic cup of juice from the punch bowl. He was raising it to his mouth when I put my hand across the top of it. He stopped with his lips nearly touching the back of my fingers, staring at me with a raised eyebrow clearly waiting for an explanation. I stepped a bit closer to him so that he could hear me over the music.

"I do not think you coming here was a good idea, Mr. Moto." He lowered the cup, both eyebrows inching closer up towards his hairline.

"Oh? Really? Wasn't it your idea to announce as soon as possible my support for your, our, cause?" I nodded.

"Yes, but I did not mean for it to happen today." He smiled at me.

"Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today?"

"Do you not see the danger to you being here? With today's announcement we managed to send the media off the deep end of the crazy pool, which can be a huge danger all on its own. Add in the fact that we also pissed off every wannabe vampire slayer and vampire hunter in pretty much the whole damned world and we may as well be sitting on a massive powder keg." He seemed to be thinking pretty seriously about what I'd just said.

"I can see why you would be concerned."

"Really? I don't think you do. Five out of the nineteen members of your cabinet are with you here and you are the first head of state to all out throw in your support with the Coalition for Human and Vampire Relations. Like it or not you just put a _big_ fucking target on you and your cabinet." He tried to lift his cup to his lips again in a nervous gesture but I deftly took it from him. He watched me with a look of near confusion as I lifted his cup until it was an inch below my nose and sniffed it. I stared directly into his eyes as I did this, knowing very well how inhuman the gesture was. He swallowed hard as I lifted it to my lips and gingerly took a sip. I smiled as I handed it back to him.

"No poison." He stared down into his cup as if trying to separate each element in it with his eyes.

"You think it would have escalated this quickly?" He asked while still looking into his cup.

"I think you underestimate the number of people there are in this world who hate vampires. We represent a great many things for the human public and there are many that see everything we are as a challenge to everything _they_ are, everything they practice, live and love. To others we are heroes, idols, something to love, revere, respect and fear. But however many love us there are more that hate us because they fear what they don't know, nor do they wish to know. _They_ are the most dangerous and today we provided fuel to fire their blind hatred. You must be more careful, Mr. Moto or I fear our partnership will not last long." He looked up at me and whatever he saw in my face finally put fear in those black little eyes of his.

"Are you _trying_ to scare me?" I could hear an edge of anger hiding under all that fear.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because fear will make you cautious and caution will keep you alive." He nodded too often and too fast as if he understood what I was saying completely but he was too scared to be able to do much more than nod. I stepped a little closer so that I could lean into him as I spoke, making sure that what I was about to say would be heard above everything going on around us.

"I think we should get you and your people out of here, now." He looked into my eyes from about a half a foot away and seemed to be contemplating something. I stared back, waiting. Whatever he saw he must have liked because he offered me a broad smile and nodded once.

"Our people." I cocked my head to the side.

"What?"

"We are partners now so, _our_ people." I stared into his eyes and couldn't help but to think that I might be the cause of his demise.

"Do you have a family, Mr. Moto? A wife? Kids?" He frowned at me.

"A wife, my second, two daughters and a son. Why?"

"Because I want there to be no misunderstandings between us, Mr. Moto. By partnering with me and my husband you are putting yourself in grave danger. I have lost more friends and allies to this cause already than I wish to name." He looked down at the floor like he was thinking through something he didn't wish me to see. He was quiet for a few moments while he inspected the hardwood beneath our feet. When he looked up into my face I saw a hard resolve, the same look he had greeted me with when I'd met him for lunch earlier.

"Nothing worth fighting for comes without risk. And you may call me Dai, partner." I could do nothing but stare at him as worry, joy, fear and respect fought for dominance within me. I finally smiled at him. Brave, Mr. Moto. I nodded.

"And you may call me, Yuki." The smile he offered me was brilliant and for a moment I could see the man he might have been a decade earlier, a man that was charming, smart and above all precious. I could totally see why he was elected for a second term. I smiled back at him and we had a silent moment where we both saw the danger ahead of us and still charged headlong towards it, a guy moment where we understood each other without the aide of words or emotion.

"Now how do we get our people out of here with as little incident as possible." That he knew we were all in danger and might be hurt tonight made me respect him more. I looked away from him, searching the room for Ruka or Hanabusa. Ruka caught my eye across the room and without a single motion she began making her way over to us. I looked back at the man before me and I simply had to know.

"Why are you suddenly so supportive of our cause, Dai? You rejected my husbands proposal for an alliance, why now?" His response was quick, almost too automatic as if he had practiced it.

"My term as Prime minister is coming to an end and I wish to be known for something great." I thought about his response, eyed the man before me. I shook my head, tasting the lie behind his words.

"Do you take me for a fool, Dai? What is the real reason?" His face was contemplative and entirely too serious.

"I would never take you for a fool, Yuki." He raised an eyebrow at me and slightly cocked his head with a small smile peeking at the corner of his mouth. "Lord Kuran would have taken my answer at face value."

"I am not my husband." His smile grew until I thought his face might split from it.

"No. You are not." He was silent for a long minute before his face fell into deeply saddened lines.

"My son is engaged to a vampire woman. I hated their union at first, tried to talk him out of it by threatening to take everything away from him, his inheritance, the family name, everything." I nodded in encouragement and it seemed to be just what he needed. He took a deep breath and continued.

"My wife arranged a dinner and threatened to divorce me if I didn't at least _try_ to meet our sons future wife. The moment they arrived I knew I had lost. You should have seen the way they looked at each other." He shook his head and genuinely smiled. "It was simply beautiful. I tried to be pissed at him. I tried to hate her. The truth is...she's a lovely woman. Well mannered, well spoken, smart as a whip, beautiful and when she laughs you can't help but join her. Other than the fact that she can't bear his children she is perfectly wonderful." He shook his head. "My only son will never father grand-children, Yuki." He looked into my eyes and I saw the tears building in his own. "Do you know how that feels?" I thought the question was rhetorical so I didn't answer.

"Well? Do you?" I shook my head.

"No, I don't." He looked away out into the swaying crowd on the dance floor.

"I thought I would hate their union, but the way they are together...it's simply magic. Every touch means more than the last." He looked back at me, the first tear breaking free to trail down his cheek. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't support his happiness?" I smiled at him. "I want him to be happy, Yuki. I want to be a good, supportive father." He took a deep shuddering breath. "The union between vampire and human is not recognized by the law and especially by the church of almost any faith." He shook his head hard enough that I felt one of his tears plop onto the sleeve of my dress. "I _need_ to change that, and I only have a limited time to do it." He suddenly gripped my forearms gently in his hands, eyes wide as he stared into my own. "I need you to help me do this. I just know that we can do this together. You don't owe me anything, I know that, but together we can do this. Our union can catalyze change in the East." His eyes as they stared into mine seemed almost desperate, pleading for me to tell him that yes, we could do it. I sent a prayer up to the heavens, to anyone who cared listen, that I wouldn't fail him, that I wouldn't have to explain to his wife and family why I brought a corpse home to them.

"We'll do it together." He made a sound somewhere between gratitude and joy as he clasped both my hands between his and bowed his forehead over them until his head nearly rested on our joined hands. He stood up and nodded in gratitude to me. Just then Ruka walked up. He pulled his hands out of mine after one last solid squeeze, turning to face the woman in front of us.

"Lady Yuki." She was very formal about it, waiting for me to tell her what to do with calm, perfectly patient eyes. I took a moment to look over how her costume framed her every asset. She wore a full-body, one-piece, solid, deep blue, leather suit that was half-way unzipped over her breasts, showing an ample amount of cleavage. The suit was skin tight, accenting her every curve, covering everything while curiously leaving little to the imagination. Her two and a half inch, black boots climbed up her long legs stopping just under her knees, blending seamlessly into the blue of the suit. Her incredibly long blond hair was straightened and pulled back into a ponytail at the base of her skull, leaving her face exposed in strong, gorgeous lines, emphasizing the full pout of that lush pink mouth. Her face was stunning without an ounce of make-up but tonight she had added only two things; a deep pink lipstick and mascara that curled her lashes into a solid curtain of black around those light chocolate eyes, turning them into something extraordinary to behold. She was breathtakingly sexy in the uncharacteristically bold outfit. The costume left her with no options to carry weapons but I trusted that if the situation called for it, she'd be able to defend me and anyone else. I had seen her hand-to-hand. She moved with a liquid grace and mind-boggling speed that was devastating. Weapons were fun but completely unnecessary. She was lethal without them. I turned to face her alone.

"We need to get Mr. Moto and his cabinet members out of here with as little incident as possible." She nodded.

"Where is Hanabusa?"

"Doing a perimeter check of the building."

"As soon as he is back our top priority is to get Mr. Moto and our people out of here."

"Understood." She turned around and looked out into the crowd. She made some hand gesture and three men, not ours, began making their way over. By the formal black suits they wore I knew they were Dai's men. The rich copper scent of blood suddenly crept up my nose and kicked me in the brain, thick enough that I could taste it at the back of my throat. Ruka whirled and was reaching for me when the first gunshot sounded. No one in the gym seemed to care, none of them knew anything was wrong, not yet. It was times like these that made me wonder how humans could not smell, taste things on the air, how they couldn't hear, not like we could. Sometimes I wondered how I had survived as human for as long as I had. I grabbed Dai by the upper arm and began hustling him towards the back exit. Ruka was right behind and to the left of me.

"Ruka raise the alarm, get as many people out of here as you can but it is imperative that we get Mr. Moto and his cabinet members to safety. Do whatever you have to do." She was suddenly in front of me, blocking my path forward.

"My first priority is getting _you_ to safety, Lady Yuki." I felt my face fall into hard lines, my commander face. She shook her head hard a firm, quick motion.

"You are our Lady, we follow you and our lord and no one else. No one's life holds as much value as yours." Lord and Lady were the vampire equivalent of King and Queen. I stepped forward until I invaded the hell out of her personal space and because I still had a firm grip on Dai's arm he was forced to move with me. She glanced down at my hold on him then she focused back on me, eyes stern.

"In this moment I am not your friend. I am not your queen. I am your commander and until you can claim the same over me you will do as _I_ say without question and I say you _will_ do everything in your power to ensure the safety of our allies. Do we understand each other, Ruka?" I could see the indecision fight across her face.

"Lord Kaname would kill me if I ever let anything happen to you." She shook her head hard. "I will not, I'm sorry." I struggled with my rage for a moment before answering her in a voice so cold it sounded foreign even to me.

"This is not negotiable, Ruka. You will do as I say and if you don't..." I stepped into her until the fronts of our bodies brushed. Ruka's eyes widened and she took a small step back. "You won't have to worry about Kaname getting his hands on you because there won't be much left when _I'm_ through with you. I will not tolerate insubordination. Do as I say, Ruka." Her face was still set in stubborn lines but I could see her resolve cracking around the edges.

The sweet flavor of gunpowder mingled with the bitter, coppery taste of blood, a lot of blood. Whatever was going on outside this room was getting closer and we had only moments. I glared at her as I spoke the next between gritted teeth.

"I treasure you and Hanabusa more than I should, Ruka. Do not make me have to do something I will regret. I am your friend but I am your Lady and commander first." She looked away into the crowd, an edge of panic creeping into her face.

"But you are our queen." I was taken aback by surprise for a moment before I shoved it away. To refer to your Lord or Lady as King or Queen was to profess great affection for them. In essence, it was a term of endearment in the vampire culture. I wasn't aware Ruka cared for me that much. I shoved all that down. One thing at a time.

"Then listen to me, trust your Lady. Do as I say. Please." She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, nodding as she did. When she opened her eyes a second later the fire of the old Ruka was back.

"I will do as you say."

"Good. I will get Mr. Moto to the back entrance. You focus on the other five. Be quick about it." She could smell and hear what I did so I didn't need to explain the urgency to her. She dipped her head in silent agreement, keeping serious eye contact that seemed to say, _don't you dare die._ I smiled as she ran off through the crowd, slithering through the writhing bodies like water between rocks. I began making my way through the crowd again and was joined by the two gaurds that had seen us before. They flanked us and as we moved we began to draw a crowd. People were noticing finally that something wasn't right. Dai yanked on his arm in my grasp, getting my attention.

"What is the emergency, Yuki?" I pulled him next to me and spoke into his ear as we moved.

"The air reeks of spilled blood and gunpowder and it's getting closer. Our people are putting up a fight but its only a matter of moments before whatever is going on outside spills inside." His breathing and heart rate doubled and the acrid scent of fear wafted off him.

"Who is it." I shrugged.

"Our enemies are plenty, Dai. I tried to tell you this earlier. It could be any number of them out there." We were almost to the back entrance when I smelled it. I whirled and put my body in front of Dai's. We were moving fast enough and the stop was so abrupt that he collided against me and I had to reach out and steady him.

"Why'd you stop." Oh no. They weren't moving fast enough, no one was moving for the exits yet. We were out of time. I focused on the stage where the band was playing and the feeling of fire burned through my veins as I imagined the thick velvet backdrop hanging behind them lighting ablaze. The curtain burst into flame.

" _FIRE!_ " I screamed. " _FIRE! EVERYBODY OUT! GET OUT! FIRE!_ " I yanked Dai behind me as I began running to the side of the room, not making much progress through the panicked crowd. I froze as I smelled it getting stronger I was choking on the sweetness of gunpowder and underneath of it was something else. I whirled and shoved Dai into the arms of his men.

"Get him behind a pillar, NOW!" They didn't even question me they just did as I said. I yanked the dress up in giant handfuls as I ran towards the back exit. I wasn't going to get there in time. I yanked Artemis free of her holster. She helped me direct my magic and I was going to need it. As I'd relearned how to use my magic we'd all discovered that I was incredibly gifted in redirecting, absorbing and harnessing energy. The vampires called me a shield and right now I could be the difference between the life and death of a great many people. I screamed over the chaos, willing the air to carry my voice.

" _BOMB AT THE BACK EXIT! EVERYONE RUN TO THE FRONT! MOVE!_ " The chorus of screams that went up and the riptide of people as they rushed the opposite direction let me know that my message had delivered successfully.

I heard a slight ping reverberate through the air and had enough time to extend Artemis into the monster scythe that she was before I felt the vibration of the explosion, smelled the burning of a thousand different things until I couldn't hardly breathe. I felt the heat before I saw the flames. I braced myself and brandished Artemis in front of me like I would bar the explosion from going any further. I let my magic implode through me and screamed as the roar of my magic and the intensity of the explosion collided. The flames crashed against the swirling, greenish wall of my shield. You could see the flame lick and ripple along it. The sensation of all that power roaring against mine was body numbing and I siphoned energy from the flames to maintain the barrier I was trying to keep between the students and it. Pain shot along my spine, the first sign that this was too much for me. I had never tried anything like this and for a second I thought I might not be able to do this. I screamed as another bolt of pain tore through me. I screamed for the pain, out of fear of failure. I screamed because I had to. Then something deep inside me clicked and suddenly my shield began swirling with the red of the flames until the green was gone and the heat from the flames rolled in front of me, a wall of heat and wind that blew my hair back from my face. My head rocked back on my spine as all the energy of the flame swirled into me in a vortex of power. The flames extinguished in a surge of power that blasted through the room and for a moment, I couldn't breathe. My heart stilled in my chest before racing triple time to catch up and breath rushed back into my lungs. Artemis was glowing in my hands, a mercurial swirl of the jade green of my magic and the red-orange of the flames I had just absorbed. I could see the people at the edges of the smoke preparing to rush in. I could smell the sweat, taste at least a dozen heart beats on my tongue. I glanced over to the square pillar on the side of the gym where Dai was staring at me with wide eyes.

"GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" His guards snapped out of the daze they were in and suddenly they were lost in the crowd of people running for the front exit. I had to hope that my people had cleared the way for them. I had to believe that or we'd lost. I turned back to the threat ahead. The wall where the back exit had been was blown all to hell about thirty feet in either direction but the destruction stopped in a line where my shield had maintained it only about three feet from where the wall had been. It wasn't until The first man broke through the black of the smoke that I realized I could have just redirected the explosion back on them and saved myself a fight. Oh well. I was kind of spoiling for a good fight anyway.

I saw the flash of the gun first and as I imagined a shimmering bubble around me it appeared, except this time instead of just stopping the bullet I deflected it back. As the man's bullets ricocheted off my shield I both felt and saw them turn on him with my magic still clinging to the lead. As he was impacted he screamed as his body erupted in flame. More screams echoed him and I hadn't realized how fascinated I'd been by what my magic was doing until five other men began screaming as they burned alive. The gunfire stopped as the other men with them holstered their guns, eyes wide with fear. To be honest the smell of burning flesh wasn't doing too much for me either. Their were seven men left, one more than I had thought, a careless miscalculation that might have cost someone their life. They all reached for their knives at the same time as they ran toward me. I smiled and then my heart stuttered in my chest as a familiar smell abruptly swam through my reality. Zero was bleeding, a lot. I would recognize that smell anywhere. I panicked.

I needed to get to him, that was the only thing running through my mind. I didn't think, couldn't think past the fear clawing at the back of my throat, I just did. I didn't have time to play with these fools. I felt the fire of the explosion roar through me as I imagined the men charging me exploding in flames but I was too unfocused, too panicked and shoved too much power into them. I could hear their blood boiling in my ears a millisecond before _they_ exploded simultaneously like over-filled water balloons. I stared in horror for a minute at what I had done, allowed myself to feel the magnitude of the grotesque nature of their death. They hadn't even had time to scream. The ground was redecorated in chunks and shards of bones, blood and much thicker things. Two of the men I'd set on fire weren't screaming but they were making a horrible, high-pitched keening noise. I closed my eyes cutting off the gory scene as I shoved more power into them. The flames roared and in seconds they were dead.

I turned to see Ruka, Hanabusa and...Kaname? They stood thirty feet back from me, all staring as if they'd never seen me before. In that moment I didn't care. I whirled and ran as fast as I could towards the smell of Zero. The scent of his blood was too thick. He was badly wounded and I _had_ to get to him. Images of Akatsuki flashed through my mind, the pain of his loss tore through my heart making me stumble. Not Zero. I _couldn't_ lose him! I heard someone calling my name but I didn't stop. Blood poured out the side of his mouth, over my legs, soaking his hair beneath my fingers. I shook my head hard. _Stop it!_ I screamed at myself again and again.

Fingers wrapped around my upper arm attempting to yank me to a stop but I was moving too quick, had too much momentum. I turned on my heel and when my palm connected with the center of his chest, I knew it was a man but didn't know or care who it was in that moment, I blasted him back with a burst of energy then turned away and ran towards Zero. I could hardly breathe by the time I rounded the corner.

Zero was down on one knee. Four men and a woman were dead on the ground around him. I came to a skidding stop in front of him and dropped to my knees.

"How hurt are you?" He stared down at the ground. "Zero?" He still stared down, not reacting to me calling his name. I went to look at his wounds but he wouldn't move.

"Zero!" His eyes snapped up to mine. "Let me see your wound." His eyes widened, panic fluttering at the edges as he reached for my face with both of his hands, which were covered in blood. Whether it was his or someone else' I didn't know. Probably a combo of the two.

"So much blood. Yuki-" I grabbed both his hands in mine and shook my head.

"It's not mine. Now let me check your wound!" He stared at me for a moment before his hands dropped out of mine to rest limply at his sides. I shoved him back onto his butt and moved the jacket. I hissed as I saw the deep puncture wound low on his side. There was a shallow stab wound just to the left of his belly button and a deep slash across his upper chest that poured blood down the bare expanse of his chest and stomach, soaking into the once pure white of his hakama.

"Smell so good." His words were slurred and his head thumped back onto the ground as he fell flat on his back faster than I could catch him. He groaned as his eyes began to roll. He was going to pass out from blood loss. I straddled him and hauled his upper body against mine, one arm across the back of his shoulders while the other hand cupped the back of his head, forcing his face into my neck. On my knees the height difference was perfect for this.

"Feed from me, Zero." I felt him try to shake his head but I jerked him more firmly against me.

"Feed, dammit! That isn't a request!" I think he might have chuckled but then he did as I asked.

The sharp jolt of pain from the strike of his teeth was immediate, letting me know he'd bitten hard and deep. I held him close to me, listening to his throat convulse with every swallow. The first rush of endorphins came and I closed my eyes. His arms slowly wrapped around my waist, holding me tight to him as he drank as deeply and quickly as he could. It became increasingly difficult to simply stay on my knees. I had to focus everything I had on keeping us upright. Zero made some noise in the back of his throat and his whole body spasmed against mine a second before he broke away from me. He threw his head back to the sky and cried out, mouth ripe with the rich red of my blood, as his spine bowed. His hands spasmed on my hips and I had to catch myself with both hands on the ground before I fell on top of him as I felt and smelled his release. He cried out again and I stared down at his body beneath mine watching him convulse, tasting the thickly delicious scent of his orgasm on the back of my tongue and wished he was inside of me. After everything that had happened tonight that was the only thing I could think about in that moment. He cried out once more, spine bowing in a way that looked nearly painful before he fell bonelessly against the ground. I licked my lips and stared down at him for a moment, the wet warmth of desire for him pooling between my thighs. I wanted him and because of that reason I had to get off of him because it was only then that I remembered, Kaname was here. I stood up on shaky legs and stared down at him. His skin was slick with blood but there wasn't a single wound anywhere the eye could see. Amazing. He hadn't really fed that long and was completely healed.

"It's magic." I glanced up and saw Kaname propped against the wall, arms crossed as he watched me.

"I know it's magic. There's no other way to explain it."

"No. That's not what I meant. The level of magic you've used tonight gives the blood a..." He glared down at Zero where he lay in a boneless, heaving heap, eyes fluttering and rolling senselessly. " _heady_ kick." He finished while still glaring at Zero. "Even I am tempted to..." He shook his head and looked off into the forest.

I noticed, just above where his arms rested, a hand-shaped hole burned into his shirt in the center of his chest. I remembered the blast of magic I'd sent into the person who'd tried to keep me from getting to Zero. My eyes bugged out in my head to the point where I thought they might fall out the sockets.

"Oh gods! Kaname, I'm so sorry!" I walked towards him, legs substantially steadier now. I ran my fingers over the pinkened and slightly blistered skin where my hand had blasted him. He had my full hand print on his chest. I shook my head and looked down at the ground.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Kaname! I- I didn't know. That's not an excuse but-" He silenced me with the softness of his lips against mine. It was a gentle kiss that was almost cautious, questioning. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck, turning the kiss into something deeper as he lifted me off the ground, pressing our bodies together in a solid line with an arm around my waist. He broke the kiss with a laugh and set me back on the ground. My body was wound tight with desire again, but it felt...different somehow.

"You were in battle mode, Yuki. You acted on instinct. Don't ever apologize for that because that will keep you alive. Just the way I like you." I chuckled but my heart wasn't in it. A pang of shame and guilt rang through me. I looked away to find Ruka and Busa both diligently waiting behind Kaname. I looked around and then back up at Kaname.

"Senri, Takuma and Rima?" He smiled down at me, understanding my question just fine.

"They are doing damage control on the day class students and I have several other new employees doing the same to the piranhas snapping at our gates." I nodded. He meant that the end of the night events were being wiped from their minds.

"And the gym? How are we going to fix that? There is rubble, blood and _other_ things all over the place in there."

"It is already being taken care of." That was Kaname for ya. I made a mess, he cleaned it up. Like always. I sighed and nodded then frowned.

"Seiren?" She was almost always at his side. He frowned and a look of near pain settled in his eyes. I looked up at the sky and blew out a deep breath. The last I had seen of Seiren she and Kaname were trying to convince Toga to work for us since we needed numbers now more than ever.

"What happened to her?"

"I sent her and Toga on a reconnaissance mission in South Africa. The South African government gave a green light to anyone who was capable, citizens included, to kill vampires on sight. I was attempting to meet with them and offer them peace terms but sent Seiren and Toga ahead of us to scope out the safest route for our people to travel."

"Let me guess, they didn't come back." I was still staring blankly at the stars. He was quiet for a moment and I almost said never-mind, I really didn't want to know. But I didn't because I had to know.

"Seiren did." His voice trembled with rage and I couldn't help but look at him. "In pieces." I took several deep breaths and stared at the ground as my vision blurred.

"And Toga?"

"M.I.A." I snapped my head up to see him glaring out into the trees. I wanted to ask what he thought had happened to Toga but I think we both knew. He was either dead or he'd gone mad after Seiren's death. After Toga rescued Seiren from the rubble of the battle with Rido they'd gone off together for a while. But when Kaname asked Seiren for her help the woman hadn't refused and, just as they'd left together, she and Toga came back together. Obviously convincing Toga to join us had been a success. A brief one but a success nonetheless. I shook my head and swiped a stray tear off my cheek before anyone cold notice. I turned to Ruka, giving Kaname my profile.

"Are Mr. Moto and his people safe?" She was quiet for a minute before she nodded.

"They are with Head Master Cross and a company of heavily armed guards."

"Why is he still on campus?"

"I told Hanabusa and Ruka to take Mr. Moto and his companions there." I took a step back so that I didn't have to crane my neck so far up to look Kaname in the face.

"I told them to get him to safety."

"So you did and he is as safe if not safer here on campus with us than off." I stared at him for a moment. How dare he undermine what I'd said.

"Ruka." I addressed her without looking away from Kaname.

"Yes."

"You and Hanabusa get Zero back to his room and meet me in the Headmaster's...?" I let the statement to trail off because I had no idea where my father would have them. Kaname smirked slightly before he answered also without looking away from me.

"Conference room." I looked away from him towards Ruka who was glancing back and forth between the two of us.

"Don't look to him. I gave you a task to do." She locked her eyes on me and nodded before making her way past me, Busa right behind her.

"They are your guards, Yuki. They won't do much good halfway across the campus." I smiled at him and it wasn't entirely pleasant.

"I'm sure I won't come to harm with Rima, Takuma, Senri and of course, yourself at my side." He frowned at me and I almost smiled. Why had I never noticed before how the skin around his eyes creased and his lips thinned when he frowned? He glanced over my shoulder and dipped his head before glancing back down at me. It was only then that I realized Ruka and Hanabusa had frozen, unsure of who to listen to. I didn't envy them their position right now. Logically, I could see their dilemma yet still their indecision irritated me.

"Yes. Take the little vampire back to his room." He made little sound like a dirty, slightly perverse word. "My wife and I have much to discuss."

"Yes. We do." I heard them making their way away from us towards the dorm. Zero was protesting that he could walk unaided and a small smile peeked at the corner of my mouth. Kaname was watching my face intently as if he might find the secret of the universe written somewhere on it. When they had rounded the corner he finally spoke, though I knew, if they really wanted to, any of them could hear us. Sometimes the illusion of privacy was all one really needed.

"What are you doing, Yuki?"

"What I came here to do."

"No. You are not. I agreed to let you come here so that you could improve the relationship between vampires and humans at the academy."

"And I am doing that."

"No. You are making a mess." That pissed me off.

"Sometimes you need to make a mess before you can clean something up. _You_ taught me that." Only the edge of anger was audible in my voice. He shook his head.

"What you are doing is dangerous."

"This whole fucking campaign is dangerous. What's your point?"

"Dammit, Yuki!" He nearly shouted it and a loud crack sounded as a fissure formed in the stone wall of the building ten feet away from us. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Temper, temper, dear." He glared at me and made some noise in the back of his throat before speaking.

"What the fuck are you doing, Yuki? You were not authorized to come here and try to weasel your way into the Japanese government's good graces." I opened my mouth, a whole slew of insults and angry retorts ready to pour out. I clamped my jaw shut, sucked in a deep breath and turned, walking ten paces away from him. I held my breath and counted to ten, very, very slowly and still it wasn't enough. When I thought I was calm enough that I wouldn't scream at him I spoke.

"We founded this coalition together. I am your wife and your partner, _not_ your paparazzi pinup girl and certainly _not_ the ornament hanging on your arm for an improved political image." I whirled to face him sure the anger on my face was very clear. "I began to insert myself into Japanese politics, not to one up you, not to make a mess or to piss you off. I did it because without the support of Mr. Moto and his cabinet everything I'm trying to accomplish here would be like screaming into the wind. I don't need your 'authorization' to do what is necessary when necessary is exactly what this is." I nearly spit the last at him. The look of astonishment on his face made the bitch-fest so very gratifying, until his face fell into something like pain.

"This is truly how you feel?" I felt my anger crack around the edges at the pain on his face but I had started this so I was damn well going to finish it. I nodded and when I spoke my voice was devoid of anger.

"How else am I supposed to feel when you flaunt me around like a prized possession, move me around like a pawn without consulting me and worst of all, treat me like I'm not capable of taking care of myself, like a child? Can you tell me? Because if I'm not supposed to be pissed about that I honestly don't know what I'm _supposed_ to feel." Silence stretched between us for so long I felt like clapping, shouting, blowing raspberries, doing anything that would make noise.

"I see now that I have wronged you." He looked up at me finally but wouldn't meet my eyes. "You have to know that I did not do this to hurt you. I fear for your safety. We have lost so much already. I could not bear to lose you." I shook my head.

"And I for you but do not pretend like everything we have done is for my safety." He smiled slightly at that.

"No. I suppose not. But just as what you've done with Mr. Moto is necessary so is the acting and playing dress-up and all the lights and cameras. It is a small sacrifice to make. We all have things we must sacrifice." I scoffed at him.

"Don't you think I know that, dammit!" I nearly screamed it. "No. It is not a small sacrifice. Living under constant scrutiny, having to watch every word and action, laughing at bad jokes, making polite, meaningless conversation, having to memorize hundreds of names and faces and backgrounds simply to be able to carry on small-talk. Individually these things are tolerable. Together, all at once, it is a hailstorm of bullshit that grates at ones sense of self. It is not easy, nor is it a _small_ sacrifice." I took a deep, supposedly calming breath. "We are not only sacrificing ourselves but our friends, family and allies and their friends and families hearts along with them."

"I never said it was going to be easy." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at that.

" _Easy?_ No. This is anything but easy." I looked away from him towards the heavens.

"You hate this." It wasn't a question so I didn't respond. "I am sorry that you are having a crisis of doubt but we must carry on. We must honor our cause above ourselves." I closed my eyes and just breathed. I wanted to scream and throttle him. I wanted to run away, to trade places with someone, anyone else. A great well of exhaustion overflowed inside me as I spoke.

"I guess someone has to try. Why not us, right? We've only got eternity." Eternity. The word made me cringe. I could not, would not survive an eternity of this life. "I guess it helps that we can take one hell of a beating and keep on ticking, eh?" His arms wound around me and I remained stiff in his hold. He tensed at my lack of reaction but didn't pull away. We stayed like that for so long that I began to feel silly not returning his hug. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest pulling the smell of him deep into my lungs. He still smelled sweet, almost too sweet, like some candy I couldn't quite put my finger on. It startled me to realize that though I enjoyed the smell, it no longer comforted me the way it once had. It was still a comforting smell, but something was just missing, gone. Or maybe I was just out of it. Shock?

"How ever did you get Mr. Moto to join our cause anyway?" I laughed and shoved at him, pushing him back from me a foot or so.

"Why? Because your deviously charming ways didn't win him over you thought he was a lost cause?" He shrugged and looked down at the ground, rolling just his eyes up to look at me through a curtain of thick lashes. Beautiful, coy and dangerous. Oh yes. Very dangerous. I'd seen that look seduce quite a few politicians in the past four years. Having it directed at me made my heart beat a little faster.

"I have my ways."

"How?" I rolled my eyes and pretended to be outraged.

"Why is it that as much as you men pine after us you still underestimate the allure of our pussy powers?" Kaname's eyes flared wide, jaw dropping open. The disbelief on his face did me in. I couldn't stop laughing. My stomach actually cramped I was laughing so hard. I laughed until I was crying and out of breath. I laughed until it hurt and even then I couldn't seem to stop. I finally fell silent and Kaname still looked at me as if he'd never seen me, for the second time that night.

"What? Does my language offend you?" I giggled a little after that and had to shove my hand against my mouth to stifle the laugh trying to come forward again. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"You didn't?"

"Didn't what? Fuck him?" Just when I thought his eyes couldn't get any wider he proved me wrong. I giggled again, pressing my hands into my stomach. It really did hurt to laugh.

"Yes." I giggled once more and shook my head.

"No. I just happened to have much better timing than you."

"Then why imply you had?" He never really had been one for humor. I grinned at him.

"You're just so much fun to play with." He was suddenly in front of me and then I was in his arms being held a foot and change off the ground while he kissed me deeply. He quickly reminded me that there were much more fun things to play with. He broke the kiss first and stared into my eyes from inches away. I shivered at the dark gleam of promise in those eyes so like my own. My body remembered him. Oh yes, it remembered him well. He smiled a wide, devious twist of lips that caught my breath in my throat.

"Come, my queen. We have places to go and people to attend to." I nodded, offering him my version of the same smile he showed me.

"And miles to go before we sleep." My body slid along the length of his as he slowly lowered me until my feet were flat on the ground, a sort of strip-tease since I already knew how the body that slid under mine looked without clothes on.

" _Miles._ " It amazed me how much sex he could put into one word. I shivered at the promise gleaming in his eyes and he turned from me, walking towards the front of the building, trailing a richly masculine laugh that said more than any number of words that he knew exactly what he did to me. He wouldn't be laughing if he only knew.

… **...Two hours later we're still in the conference room...**

I sat back in one of the two dozen chairs surrounding the massive rich oak table that was the centerpiece of the conference room, pinching the bridge of my nose between thumb and forefinger. A wave of exhaustion swept over me and for a moment I squeezed my eyes shut and pretended I was anywhere but here, sighing deeply.

"I'm sorry, are we boring you, Lady Yuki?" I smiled slightly and answered him without opening my eyes.

"Yes, actually you are, Mr. Shiki."

"This is why women don't do well in politics! They have no head for it. I beg you. Please, Prime Minister. Reconsider this partnership."

"Lady Kuran?" I took several deep breaths, counting to twenty before exhaling. "Yuki?" I flicked my eyes open to find Mr. Moto standing before me, concern deepening the wrinkles around his eyes.

"Yes, Dai?" He smiled slightly before getting very serious.

"You must be more attentive to these pressing matters."

"Oh, I am being _attentive_." I looked over all the people in the room, one at a time before continuing. "In fact, I can count the number of things that have been discussed in the last hour and a half that was not a reiteration of some form of the first half hour on one hand and still have fingers left over."

"She mocks us!" I whipped my head to the right to glare at Shiki who's sexist remarks were really starting to piss me off.

"I have spent the last hour and a half listening to you fools rant and rave over how following a woman for less than twenty-four hours has led you into the biggest PR disaster since the recent scandal blew up the media. We have explained to you that the only people that know of what has happened tonight are those of us in this room. You-"

"You have led us into the arms of disaster!"

"You are trying my patience, Mr. Shiki, of which I can promise you I have very little left. You allow your hatred of women to cloud your judgment. If you would but take a moment to think above such petty grievances-"

"I will not speak to you any longer, oni bitch!" I closed my eyes for a second before glaring at him.

"Mr. Shiki-"

"Silence, devil _whore_! I will only speak to those with competence!" Takuma who had been so lazily, disinterestedly sprawled across the cherry stained oak table-top was suddenly vibrating with rage. The wall five feet behind Shiki cracked, sounding like thunder in the enclosed room. Everyone in the room, including Kaname, was yelling.

"Enough!" I yelled it but was drowned out by the shouting match that was on the verge of turning into a slug-fest. I stood up, allowing my rage to build a nice warm fire in the pit of my core.

" _I said enough!_ " A frigid wind tore through the room, coating everything it touched with ice crystals, the arctic breeze whipping my hair around me, carrying my voice like a clap of thunder. The humans cowered back, cuddling into their own bodies for warmth, everyone except Dai who simply turned to stare at me. I realized the wind was swirling outward from me and that killing my allies would probably look pretty bad. I cut off the wintry blast so abruptly that everyone fell to their knees, even I had to steady myself with a hand on the solid oak separating me from them. Kaname, of course, was excluded but only because he maintained a death grip on the edge of the table. I was breathing hard, skin burning with the flames of my rage heating it from within.

"I am _through_ wasting my time here. You will listen or you will leave. My people have sacrificed much to get to where we are, they have given _everything_!" I gestured at them all standing so close together from the near altercation on the opposite side of the table. "All I see is a bunch of imbeciles bickering over semantics, inventing problems where there are none instead of trying to think like rational, _competent_ individuals to find the solution to the one about to bring war to _all_ of our doorsteps!" Rage like none other I had ever felt before burned like how I imagined the fires of hell would, tinting my world red.

" _What the fuck have they sacrificed for! What have they died for? This?!_ " I was all out screaming at them and had to reign myself in. I was breathing like I carried twice my weight on my shoulders with the effort to regain my composure as I leaned into the table. "Fuck. That." The words were so calmly spoken as my anger pumped ice through my veins and fire into my heart, a combination that was unsettling and yet oddly soothing. I stood calmly, straightening my spine like it might break if it bent.

It was in the perfect, dumb-struck silence of that moment that I finally saw my hair floating in curled wisps on a soft wind that touched only me. My dress fluttered gently in that breeze and I was willing to bet that my eyes would be glowing vampire garnet red. I took a deep breath to calm myself a little before speaking, it didn't work.

"As the old adage goes, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. _My_ enemy is the war between vampire and human that is looming over us like a long feared prophecy. If it comes to pass it could decimate a large portion of life as we know it. As of this moment anyone who finds themselves the _friend_ of my enemy is in my way. If you are in my way, I _will_ remove you by any means necessary. The enemies of our cause will be removed either by my hand or any hand loyal to me. This is my decree and my first law as Lady of the vampires to be obeyed until, or if, I ever deem fit to lift it." I paused and swallowed hard before continuing. "This includes but is not exclusive to humans." I took a moment to meet the eyes of every vampire in the room, all of which were on the other side of the table with the men of Dai's cabinet and the prime minister himself. Ruka and Hanabusa, as much as it pained me, were no exception. I looked directly at Dai as I spoke the next.

"I am going to ask that you capitalize on your position as Prime Minister and the powers granted you therein to dismiss Mr. Shiki from his duties. He has proven that he holds his own bigotry closer than reason. We cannot afford such an oversight." Shiki made a noise of outrage.

"I am his Minister of Defense!" I spoke without looking at him.

"Which only provides more grounds for your dismissal. That is far too important a position to be occupied by a moron." Dai was quiet as he analyzed me, face wrought with contemplation. Shiki however was loud and irritating as ever.

"I won't stand for this you devil-" My anger spoke for me, cutting the hateful little man's words short.

"You have gravely insulted me once, Mr. Shiki. Do it again and I will take a _personal_ interest in matters of your removal." I flicked only my eyes over to him as the last word left my lips and I wanted him to finish his insult. I wanted him to give me a reason. Dai spoke finally not looking away from me.

"Goro." Shiki looked to his Prime Minister.

"Sir?"

"Shut the _fuck_ up before you get yourself killed." I smiled rather unpleasantly at Dai.

"Now, now. I never said anything about killing anyone." He gave me a look that said, _liar_. He was right. I _was_ lying because I had meant every word. I'd tried nice but nice wasn't working. Maybe they'd understand practical ruthlessness better.

"What will you do if I choose not to remove him?" He seemed to be waiting for a confession of my intent to murder the man. I'd actually probably really enjoy killing the fucker. But I spoke rationally.

"I will trust that you have sound reasoning for your decision and will respect it. I only ask that he not be present for any of our dealings." Dai frowned.

"Just like that?" My smile widened.

"Until you give me reason to doubt your capacity to rationalize and reason I will trust your judgment."

"And if you begin to doubt me?" Again my smile widened, it was getting to the point that my face was starting to hurt a little and yet I couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"I feel that we both have a vested interest in assuring that this partnership works."

"But _if_ you begin to doubt me? What then?"

"Let us hope it does not come to that, Mr. Moto." He frowned.

"What happened to Dai?" I actually laughed at that.

"My answer still stands, Dai." I put a little emphasis on his name. He nodded, more a dip of the head really.

"As Prime Minister of Japan, I call upon the rights granted to me by such title and release you, Goro Shiki from the title and all duties and responsibilities warded to you as Minister of Defense. You have been found unfit for the honor due to lack of rational judgment." Shiki's face fell into lines of disbelief.

"Mr. Moto-" Dai cut him off, turning to face the man as he continued.

"Witnessed before all in this room I denounce you from this day froward as a member of the National diet and cabinet of political office. You will-"

"Dai-" Shiki's voice cracked in horror as the reality of the situation finally sank in. Dai continued, voice more firm with resolve and an edge of anger at continually being interrupted.

"You will be escorted back to the National Diet building to clear out your office and claim any belongings that are yours. When you are finished you will be escorted from the building for the final time never again to enter it's premises with any level of political authority. This is my official decree, so shall it be known."

"It is known." Every vampire in the room said in quietly forceful tones that combined turned those three words into a dull roar. Dai looked curiously at them in turn, not expecting the formality. It was common practice for vampires to echo the final decree of such formal declarations. I don't know why. They just did.

I looked up at the soft cry I heard, quickly looking away at the silent tears and quiet anguish on Shiki's face. I might have demanded it be done, and I had good reason but despite the man's rudeness, I did not enjoy the pain he was feeling. I'd never liked inflicting pain on others, an unfortunate personality quirk that at times like these overcomplicated my life and I was about to rub salt in his freshly dealt wound.

"Mr. Shiki, it should go without saying that any and all matters you have been privy to both in discussion and in practice shall henceforth never be leaked in any form to anyone else. If you should be discovered relaying such things you will be convicted of treason and punished within the limits of such a crime." I left off the part where I threatened to silence him personally, but I was pretty sure that part was understood. "Dai?" He turned only halfway to me, offering me his profile. "I would like to send one of my vampires with your men to escort Mr. Shiki to the National Diet building then home from there, wherever home is." He seriously thought about my offer then nodded.

"Agreed." I put one of the newer guards that I was completely new to on the task, serious about my offer whilst not offering up anything I valued. It would be a loss of course, every life is valuable, but I could live with the death of a stranger. I couldn't live with the death of another friend. Not so soon. When Mr. Shiki and his escort left Dai sat down across from me and simply stared. I sat as well and a few moments later everyone else sat too. After several minutes of silence Dai finally spoke.

"You are proving to be quite the fearfully formidable ally, Yuki." I grinned.

"Better a fearful ally than a monstrous enemy." Dai smiled slightly and dipped his head in agreement.

"You would indeed make a monstrous enemy and even though I never thought I would work with so...odd an ally I am most grateful I decided what I did." I laughed and the tension in the room flowed away on the tails of such a genuinely cheerful sound. Dai had a knack for amusing me. I liked that in an ally and especially in a friend. Maybe we could be friends. Though in the long run, it might be healthier to simply leave it at allies.

"War makes for strange bedfellows." We all laughed. Dai came around the table as we all stood and took my hand in his.

"Queen Yuki." He placed a gentle, chaste kiss on my knuckles, eyes rolled up to my face as he did so. I smiled and playfully rolled my eyes, gently taking my hand from him. He stood and, still smiling, dipped his head towards Kaname.

"Lord Kuran." Kaname's face was pleasantly, professionally blank as he dipped his head back.

"Prime Minister Moto." Without another word we all made to leave the conference room. I don't know why but I glanced over my shoulder and smiled as the deep shadows of the far corner of the room that had been moving, stilled. I laughed to myself as Kaname, who had opted to be the last out, closed the door.

 _I hope you enjoyed the show, Zero._

… **...**

Dai had sincerely apologized as we all walked out of the building together for not recognizing the danger of his decision to come to the academy tonight after the announcement earlier. He was lucky that most of our assailants tonight had been human. There were a few vampires, but for the most part it was a human assault. Many fathers, sons, husbands, wives, daughters, mothers, aunts, uncles and friends wouldn't be coming home to the ones who loved them. Not ever. No matter how much they spent on spots in the newspaper or how many pictures and pleas they put on social media they, unlike most people, would never know the comfort of closure, if there is to be any comfort in burying/burning the ones you love. Their corpses would disappear along with all knowledge of tonight's performance, except to those privy. And for what? Jealousy, blind hatred, religion. Are those things really worth dying for?

As Kaname and I walked back to the once abandoned dorm I couldn't seem to reel my mind away from such thoughts. Why might you ask were we walking to the dorm originally intended for the night class, the Star Dorm I believe they called it? Oh, because they suddenly finished construction today. I was informed by my father that my room was ready for me now, fully refurnished. What a coincidence. Kaname pops up and voila! My new room.

"Yuki?" I stopped just in time to avoid colliding with Kaname who had stepped in front of me.

"What!" I snapped, my anger flaring up. "Why do you have to be so dramatic? You could have just asked me to stop!" I was breathing hard, pissed for no reason at all. The worry on Kaname's face helped me cool down a bit, but it wasn't enough, I was still angry.

"I've been talking to you for the past three minutes. I called your name multiple times. Are you okay?" I stared blankly at him for a few breaths before slowly walking around him.

"Yuki, I asked if you were okay." He sounded slightly petulant. I guess he wasn't used to people ignoring him. I wonder how long it would take to piss him off simply by doing just that? The thought made me smile.

"I heard you, Kaname. Clearly the answer is no. Did you ask me such a stupid question just to receive audible confirmation? Or did you actually have a reason for it?" I felt his fingers wrap around my upper arm a second before he spun me to face him. His face was set in hard, frustrated, nearly angry lines, lips thinned out with the strength of his emotions.

"What is the matter with you?" His words were a low hiss. I ignored his question and stared calmly into his eyes as I spoke.

"Let me go." The flat, emotionless tone of my voice struck a chord with him, his eyes widening slightly before his fingers loosened one at a time. I turned from him and pulled my arm from his grasp before his fingers could completely loosen. I continued making my way towards the dorm feeling Kaname's eyes on me but not hearing his footsteps. I stopped about three hundred feet from him and waited. I closed my eyes, sucking in giant lungfuls of air, holding each breath as long as I could before exhaling. I was mostly calm by the time Kaname's steps were close enough that I could feel the small vibrations of them in my soles. He stopped a little away from me but didn't say anything. The silence grew thick and finally he spoke, realizing I wouldn't.

"There never used to be so many secrets between us." He wrapped his arms around me from behind in a gentle almost-hug. "Talk to me, Yuki, please." I sighed quietly and forced myself to relax into his arms one muscle at a time. When I was noticeably relaxed he closed the small space between our bodies, holding me as close as he could. I raised a single hand up to rest on his forearm across my chest but that was the only reassurance I gave him that I appreciated the touch. If he noticed it didn't show.

"What's wrong?" His words were calm, gentle and coaxing and made me smile slightly while also inexplicably adding a spark to the dull ember of my rage.

"This whole day just pisses me off."

"Really? The _whole_ day? There wasn't a single part that made you smile?" I remembered the interlude in my room earlier with Ruka and Zero. I could nearly hear Zero's laugh, feel the smile stretching my face as I once again felt the warmth hearing that wonderful contralto echo through my memories. I was smiling.

"There were a few." Even I could hear the smile in my voice.

"Yeah? Just a few?" I knew he wanted me to admit that seeing him had made me smile but honestly the only thing I could think of when I thought of the moment I realized he was here was the moment I'd thought I was losing Zero. I remembered the kiss we'd shared, the feeling of my body pressed so eagerly against his and the way my body responded the way it always did. Then I remembered the feeling of Zero's hands gripping my hips and the way my stomach and chest fluttered, thighs moistening with both my arousal and his release as his body bowed backwards. And the sounds he'd made. I shivered in Kaname's arms and shoved the memory away before I got sucked back into the moment.

"There are only ever a few." My voice was slightly husky with the edge of sex. Kaname chuckled a slow, sexy roll of sound. I'd never met anyone who could make a chuckle sound so sexy. I shivered for him this time, knowing exactly what thoughts accompanied that laugh.

"Come with me, my lovely wife so that I might enjoy getting you out of this dress." He leaned down and whispered the next in my ear. "As amazing as you look in it, you'd look even better out of it." I shivered once again and he laughed as he picked me up in his arms. Then we were moving towards the dorm at speeds I couldn't fathom quantifying.

I wasn't sure if our guards even tried to keep up or if they'd purposely allowed us to abandon them, knowing what we were intending. I bet they'd heard at least part of our conversation and had opted out of being privy to the sexcapades about to ensue.

I was on the bed before I could register the rest of my surroundings. I'd seen very little of the dorm, but I was about to know at least the bed rather intimately. He rolled me onto my stomach tracing his fingers delicately across my skin, teasing caresses, as he unlaced the back of my gown. My body was more than ready to accommodate his by the time he was half-way down my back. I squirmed under his affections and made small noises of protest. I wanted the damned thing off and him inside me. I had no patience tonight. I felt the final cinch of the lacing release, the dress loosening so that it slid easily to the sides under his fingers. I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled onto my back so quick that I actually got to see the startled look on his face from so unexpectedly quick a movement.

"Take it off. No more games." He raised an eyebrow before leaning over me, doing exactly what I'd said. He jerked the dress over my hips and the soft silk of the liner slipped along my leg, a last kiss of cloth before my body was splayed nearly naked before him. The only thing I wore was the small, black lace underwear, garters and hose and the heels he had forgotten to remove. He licked his lips as his eyes roved over me. He wrapped his fingers around my ankles, pulling me across the bed until my thighs were on either side of his hips. He smiled as he bent so that he could pull my nipple into his mouth. My breath hitched as a spike of pleasure shot through me from his mouth feeding at my breast to groin. His fingers rolled my other nipple as he began kissing his way down my stomach. I felt the tips of his fangs brush across my hip, and looked down at him. His eyes glowed a brilliant ruby, tongue bright pink as he ran it across my hip in a quick flick. I threw my head back and moaned as my spine bowed in anticipation. Seconds later his fangs bit in deep, just above my right hip. I gasped, eyes going wide before moaning as he rolled both nipples between his fingers while his mouth sucked at me, a bit of pain to go with my pleasure. My body throbbed for him, aching where I needed him most. All the sexual tension with Zero had done a number on me and I _needed_ this.

Zero. I saw him again. Head thrown back, mouth scarlet with my blood as he cried out. I echoed that phantom cry and a snapping noise crawled it's way up the wall, sounding like a small explosion. Kaname pulled back so that he was hovering over me on all fours but it wasn't me he was staring at. He stared at the massive crack in the wall to the far right of the room. I reached for him, fingers deftly working on the buttons to his crisp white button down. He'd been wearing a black and white formal tux. I wasn't sure where the jacket had gone but I was eager to get him out of the rest of his clothes. He turned his head back to me, an odd expression on that strikingly handsome face.

"Your powers are growing." I nodded, reaching for the last button. His fingers wrapped around mine, trying to still me. "You are growing frightful in your capacity for magic." I nodded again, moving into him for a kiss. He kissed me back but seemed to be lost to thought. I abandoned his lips and kissed along his jaw, down his neck.

"I thought you might have just had a temporary power boost for the display you put on earlier." I made a noise of frustration against his neck.

"Yes, yes. That's all very fascinating." I laced my fingers into his hair using my grip in his long dark waves as an anchor to pull myself closer to him, which just meant I was more solidly under him.

"How long have you known about your growing abilities?" I fought not to tighten my hand in his hair until it was painful, though I knew he didn't mind hair pulling. "How long, Yuki?" I made another noise of frustration and fell back onto my elbows, allowing my head to fall back on my neck while I struggled to breathe past my hormones.

"Kaname, please. You want to talk about this _now_?" My words were breathless both with desire and disbelief.

"How long?" His words were simple and stern. I shrugged, easing up so that my lips brushed his neck as I spoke.

"I don't know. A while, I guess." I kissed my way back up his neck, lifting one hand up to trail down the smooth, muscled length of his chest and stomach. I was nearly to the buckle of his belt when his hand closed nearly painfully around mine. I gasped but the pain was a booster to my high, not a downer. I'd found out I liked a little more pain with my sex, more than Kaname was comfortable dealing out. Apparently that was not the reaction he wanted right now. His other hand was suddenly in the middle of my chest, pinning me to the bed under his weight. I closed my eyes and fought the little surge of both adrenaline and desire.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I pushed against him but he pushed right back showing I was going nowhere unless I was willing to hurt him. I growled in frustration and forced myself to go limp beneath him or strike out in outrage. "Why?" He sounded kinda angry. I was so _not_ in the mood for this. I looked up at him and put sex, heat, passion, danger, everything I wanted in that moment, into my eyes.

"Fuck me, Kaname. Fuck me! Just, please, shut up and fuck me! I don't want to _talk_! I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you like an animal." The last was said with a growl of something close to warning. His eyes widened a second before he shook his head and looked back to the crack in the wall

"This is important, Yuki." I shouted in frustration. That was it. I pushed against his hold on me and when he wouldn't move I did something I'd never done before. I let my magic pour through me like a dam breaking. It crashed into me hard enough to jerk my body forward so that his hand on my chest hurt.

"Yuki-" He stared down at me with incredibly wide eyes a second before I thrust all the energy of my pent up sexual frustration into him. He gasped loudly and I sighed in relief. He closed his eyes and seemed to be fighting all that energy, all that sex, my sex. I watched him swallow convulsively, body vibrating with the most primal urge we know. I rolled out from under him, sweeping one of his arms out in the process. He fell face first onto the bed as I rolled to my feet. He moved onto his side and hissed, seeing me standing nearly naked beside the bed before slamming his eyes shut. I watched his body slowly curl into a ball

"Yu-...ki-..." He gasped my name out and as angry as I was I suddenly felt horrible for what I'd done. I very carefully got up on the edge of the bed so that the combo of hose on silk didn't send me crashing to the floor and began moving towards him. His eyes flared wide as he watched me come for him. I reached out to touch him but he fell to the floor in his attempt to move away from me. I cursed under my breath.

"I can't help if you keep running from me." Then again I wouldn't have to help him if I'd never done this in the first damn place. I mentally kicked myself as I landed in a crouch next to him. He cried out, spine bowing as I placed a hand on his stomach. I opened myself to the familiar essence of my sex and desire. At first it trickled back, not nearly fast enough for me so I called for it, but apparently I wasn't taking it back fast enough because one second I was sipping through a straw and the next I was trying to swallow it down before I drowned in it as Kaname shoved it at me. I felt the last of it leave Kaname, my own desire and sex settling in a hollow deep inside me with a click that I was betting he couldn't hear. However, I got more than I'd bargained for. I squirmed on my side where I must have fallen with the swirling pressure of Kaname's desire as well. I swallowed hard. I guess I deserved this. I pushed off the floor and wobbled back to my feet. Kaname glared up at me, panting where he'd fallen. I forced myself to close my eyes and calm my body as I rolled the flavor of his desire around in my head. It was a zesty flavor, something like citrus mixed with something a little earthier. I was steady on my feet when Kaname fumbled to an upright position long enough to fall onto the bed.

"What-" His voice was rough like his throat was too dry for speech. He swallowed several times before he spoke again. "What the _fuck_!" Not a question, just a pissed off exclamation. I actually saw the anger swirling through the red of his eyes as he glared at me, still lightly panting. I shrugged.

"You wanted to talk about my growing powers."

"So you, what, thought you'd just save some time by showing me!" I shrugged and looked down at the ground.

"It's been a really long day and I was so angry that you wanted to talk instead of have sex. I didn't really think. I just acted."

"So because I didn't _fuck_ you on demand when I was worried about you, you decided to drug me with your desire. What were you hoping, Yuki? That I'd lose my mind and ravage you?" I shivered a little at the thought he proposed but was steadily getting angrier. He noticed my reaction and his eyes narrowed a little.

"I already told you I wasn't really thinking at all. That you would jump to the worst possible conclusion hurts me." He was quiet for a moment before spitting out a harsh laugh.

"Hurt you? _That_ shit fucking hurt!" I tried to feel bad again but suddenly I didn't regret what I'd done so much. "You like pain like that?" He made pain sound like a dirty word. I looked down at the ground again.

"Yes. I like a little pain with my sex but that wasn't why it hurt you."

"A little? No, Yuki. _I_ like a little pain. You are just a fucking sado-masochist." I turned away from him as tears burned up the back of my throat. I had never heard Kaname speak to anyone this way and nothing even close to this had ever been directed at me. I swiped away the tears as I moved over to where my dress had slid to the floor. I had to do something. Anything except stand there and see that look in his eyes. I moved over to the closet and began slipping the dress onto a hangar while I spoke.

"It hurt so much because of how much energy I shoved into you, not because that is the level of pain I like." He scoffed as I continued. "Sex is just another form of energy." The most delicious kind. "You know how skilled I am at manipulating energy. It is my favored form of magic."

"And?" I turned to glare at him.

"So what you felt was a shit ton of energy being shoved into you with nowhere to go."

"If it was just energy then why did I want to ravage you until you screamed for me to stop?" I swallowed hard and looked at the ground, knowing he wouldn't miss my reaction.

"My god. That turns you on doesn't it?" I didn't answer.

"Energy is infinite. It can change form but it never extinguishes. It never...dies." That word would have to do since my vocabulary seemed to be abandoning me. "It can _only_ change form. I shoved all my sexual energy into you and wasn't thinking enough to change the essence of it nor, do I think, I wanted to. I wanted you to know how badly I needed you." He made a rude noise in the back of his throat.

"Are you trying to tell me that you were so horny that it was painful and _that's_ why it hurt me?" His voice was so incredulous that all I could do was nod. It was embarrassing enough without having to say it aloud. For a moment I saw a look of pity cross his face before his rage flared back up.

"You are inventing things to excuse your actions." I thought I might implode, like I'd made those men do earlier, as my blood boiled from the heat of my fury. One of the curtains exploded in flame, quickly spreading to the other one. He whipped his head towards the flame before looking back at me. I took a deep breath and extinguished the flame but it was too late to save the curtain as it fell from the rod in a wall of ash. I took one step forward and stopped myself.

"With you being unable to so much as stand yet I figured I needn't show you again how painful the truth of my situation is. Perhaps I was wrong." My voice was both pained and colder than I'd _ever_ been towards Kaname. His eyes widened.

"You wouldn't." I laughed and shook my head, turning from him to root through my suitcase, once again packed for the move into the Star dorm.

"No. You're right. I wouldn't. _I_ don't enjoy inflicting pain on others."

"Are you trying to lie to me or yourself?" I whirled with a handful of clothes.

"What I prefer in the bedroom and how I behave in every circumstance and situation other than that are two separate preferences entirely!"

"Is it, Yuki?" He was incredibly calm, calculative, which was not helping calm me. I threw my clothes onto the ground at my feet and stalked a few steps forward in anger before I steeled myself against the urge to do something I'd regret later.

"Fighting your inner sadist?" I ground my teeth and the tears burned up the back of my throat again. I shook my head. No! I would not cry!

"Why is it so hard for you to accept that this is just a part of me, a part of my desires?" My voice trembled with the effort to simply stay standing where I was. I kept my eyes squeezed shut tight.

"Why do you want it? How can you enjoy pain so much?" That took me aback. He made it sound as if I wanted him to gut me as he fucked me.

"I'm not asking for much, Kaname but I'm not made of porcelain. When I say fuck me I want you to _fuck_ me. You don't always have to be so careful." I just wanted, well...I wanted everything the term _fuck_ entailed.

"I don't want to " _fuck"_ you! I want to make love to you, to treasure you! Why do you want me to hurt you, Yuki?" For a moment the room was quiet enough that I could hear him breathing heavily from the shouting he'd done only moments before. I stared anywhere but at him, swallowing back my tears again. "WHY!" I jumped and screamed right back at him.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! OKAY? I JUST DO!" He stared at me and I watched his eyes grow dark with something I didn't much like. I turned from him, crouching to pick my clothes up off the floor and suddenly I was slammed flat against the ground. Kaname's weight pinned me to the floor as he laid the full length of his body on top mine while he shoved my legs apart with his knees. My heart was racing in my throat. He sank his fangs into my shoulder as he grabbed my underwear in his fist and yanked. I couldn't hear the fabric tearing over my moan but I felt it part from my body in one hard jerk that made it hard to breathe. Endorphins rushed through me and my body began to roll against his all on it's own. He grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked my head back hard as he released my shoulder, growling in my ear.

"Is this what you like?" I couldn't speak. He wrapped his fingers around my throat, using his hold on it to lift me to my knees, keeping our bodies pressed together as he did it. He squeezed one of my breasts in his left hand and I gasped. Then his nails scraped down my stomach making me writhe against him.

"This _is_ what you like, isn't it?" His hand suddenly dipped between my legs at the same time as his fingers tightened on my throat to where it took some concentration to breathe. He moved over me in quick movements, bringing me closer and closer to that golden edge. I couldn't breathe, didn't care to remember such a tedious action.

"Answer me." He growled. "You like this, don't you?" The throaty growl in his voice almost did me in except his fingers that had been going so fast suddenly stopped, the hand around my throat easing up enough for me to take a gasping inhale. I only got one. His hands tightened and sped me close again before stopping, followed by a near screaming inhale and then it started all over again and again and again. He did it once more before I actually screamed in frustration.

"Answer me!" He screamed as every quick swipe of his fingers spiked pleasure through me.

"Y-yes..." I gasped out.

"What? I didn't quite hear you." I was nearly stupid with anticipation. I could feel that heavy weight of orgasm but he kept slowing and speeding his fingers, keeping me right on the brink.

"YES!" I screamed around his hand squeezing my throat. Please, please, please! So close. His hand tightened on my throat to where breathing was impossible and that was it. I was cresting, falling into that orgasm and suddenly I was thrust into the floor a noise of disgust sounding from the man behind me.

I was boneless, defenseless as the floor came up and hit me. I was breathless, body screaming in denial, head pounding where it had connected with the floor, every flutter of my heart sounding like a bass drum within the confines of my skull. I lay there, boneless, unable and unwilling to move as my body raged against me. My lungs rebelled at the lack of air, the pain in my head intensifying until it was almost too much but the more my head hurt the less my body rebelled against me. Which pain was worse? I decided I liked the head pain better. I felt hands on me, rolling me over but I didn't open my eyes or respond at all. I knew who belonged to those hands that pushed my hair back from my face and cradled me into a lap I was too familiar with. I ignored him and focused on the slowing beat of my heart. It was slow. So slow now. Why was it slowing like that? My brain screamed at me and the pain was too much. I was forgetting something wasn't I?

"Yuki!..." His voice was muffled, distant though that was weird since I could feel his lap just under me. Then I realized I couldn't. I couldn't feel much of anything anymore. My heartbeat had given way to something sluggish, lazy. "BREATHE!..." A man screamed it with everything he had but still it sounded far away, an echo of something much louder. Breathe? Oh yeah. I was supposed to do that right?

The action seemed too much at first, the weight of a mountain on my lungs, but as soon as that first woosh of oxygen hit my lungs they burned for more. I took a screaming inhale, spine bowing as that first rush of air burned my lungs like I had inhaled lava. My heart began to race to make up for all those lost beats. I laid in his arms as I relearned how to breathe. Why had I stopped in the first place? I couldn't remember. I blinked up to see Kaname hovering above me, tears running freely down his face as he cradled me closer. I let him hold me only because I couldn't move yet. I remembered now. I remembered my head hitting the floor and choosing that as the lesser pain.

I tried to sit up and, to my shock, found it was easier to move than I thought, except the throbbing in my head. Every muscle felt like it was wired to the spot that had connected with the floor so that the smallest movement felt like I was jabbing my new boo-boo from the inside out. I winced as I tried to stand. I felt his hand on my hip and jerked forward, nearly falling again. He was saying something and I think he was trying to help me to my feet but I slapped at his hands until he left me alone. I finally got to my feet, pain roaring in my head, the world wobbling enough that I almost lost my balance. I opened my eyes only when the world stopped swimming. It occurred to me that I might have a concussion, a pretty bad one. It most definitely hadn't helped that I'd gone so long without breathing. I should be healed nearly completely from such a mundane wound in about an hour from now, but for the moment the nausea was my primary threat.

I slowly moved over to where I remembered throwing the clothes I'd plucked out of my suitcase at random. I looked in confusion at the floor when I didn't find them there. Kaname held them out to me and I snatched them without looking at him, turning away and making my way back to the bed. I leaned against the solid oak post of the bed frame as I fumbled into a small pair of cut-off shorts that I loved to wear when the cameras couldn't see. Kaname had at one point shown quite a liking for them as well. I was still wearing my garter belt and the hose, having taken to wearing the garter under the underwear to make life easier, but the actual underwear were toast and I didn't care enough to dig for more. I pulled on a summery, light, plaid, orange, red and yellow button down. It was thin enough that in the right light you would probably be able to see my nipples but I really didn't care. When I was as dressed as I was going to get I propped myself against the post, leaning my head back against it as I stared at Kaname, his face as blank as I'd ever seen it. The tear tracks still stained his face, eyes still watery. Again, I didn't care. It didn't stop me from saying what I had to say.

"I do not need you here to guide me through political negotiations. From what I saw earlier I honestly think in this particular situation, I'd fare better by myself."

"Yuki, I'm so-" I held up a single hand to silence him.

"Do not apologize to me right now, Kaname."

"I did not mean to hurt you."

"Oh, don't try to lie to me, Kaname. I'm really not in the mood right now. You meant everything you did. You may not have meant to hurt me like you did, but you did the rest out of spite. To make a point." He looked down at the floor and if I didn't know better I'd swear he was ashamed. "Consider your point made." I had to close my eyes and fight off a wave of nausea.

"Are you-"

"Okay? No. Not currently. You saw to that. But have no fear. I will be back to physical perfection in an hour or less. If that is your biggest worry then your conscience may rest easy."

"You know that is not my only worry."

"Really? You have hurt me several times tonight but you didn't seem to care before now." He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, looking down at the floor again. I tried to feel bad, staring at the incredibly sad image he made before me. Honestly, I did. I just couldn't find anything to give him right now but hurt, disappointment and regret.

"When the sun sets tomorrow I want you to make your way back to whatever part of the world you were wooing before you felt I needed you to drop everything and come to my aid." I could have said tonight but I was still trying to be nice. I'd give him a little time to make whatever arrangements he'd have to make.

"Yuki, I am so sorry! Let's just sit down and talk about this." I laughed weakly.

"That's all you've been doing since you showed up in the middle of a fight that wasn't yours, to clean up a mess that wasn't yours, to insert your two-sense into political negotiations that weren't yours and to hurt something that _is_ yours." I took a deep steadying breath because the world swam a little as my anger tried to swim to the surface past the nausea. "I am through talking to you. If you are here when the sun rises thirty-six hours from now I can promise you, I won't be." I watched a single tear trail down his face and my heart clenched tight but I wouldn't yield. He finally nodded, searching my face for anything that might help him but he found nothing. I began moving towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked as I moved past him.

"You may stay here." His fingers gently grabbed my wrist. I stopped and fought to remain passive in his grip. My heart raced and tears scorched my throat, the nausea growing to the point where I thought I really would throw up.

"Let me go, Kaname. I will not ask again." The pain in my voice was thick enough to walk on. His fingers slipped from my wrist in a lingering caress that seemed to scream _I'm sorry, please forgive me!_ I'd try but I wasn't sure I'd be able to. In a nutshell, he'd called me a pervert and a freak, sexually tortured me then proceeded to physically hurt me, to make a point. It didn't matter that he hadn't meant to physically hurt me or that I could heal it. It did matter that he hadn't realized he had hurt me until I was visibly injured. I was almost to the door when he spoke.

"How will we politically function if we cannot talk to each other." I turned and smiled, more a grimace, at him.

"If you intend to use politics to win back favor you are so far from the mark you may as well already be half-way across the globe." He looked stricken as if he hadn't expected me to see through his obvious ploy to get me to talk to him. If he wanted to pretend he was talking politics I could play that game too. "I think to avoid future situations like today we should consult each other before making major political moves, keep one another informed to avoid any further surprises."

"And everything else? What about the small things?" I'm pretty sure he was no longer talking politics but I was going to pretend that he was. I offered him an empty, sad smile.

"I have always and will continue to trust in your ability to make sound decisions until you show me you cannot." The implied one way mistrust struck him like a hammer between the eyes, widening those beautiful orbs. "You may fuck, weasel and murder whomever you feel necessary to get us where we need to be with my full consent." I turned away and was twisting the knob in my hand when he spoke again.

"I am sorry, Yuki." Tears spilled up my throat, nearly choking me, to pour down my face.

"I know you are." I quickly opened the door, closing it firmly behind me as the first sob broke free. I was startled to see Takuma propped against the wall on the other side of the hallway, bored, lazily stirring a cup of tea that was no doubt heavily spiked with jam. He looked startled, worried and at a loss for what to do seeing me in tears.

"Lady Yuki?" I very firmly shook my head at him when he tried to come near me.

"I am fine. Kaname and I just had a little disagreement, that's all." His eyes narrowed dangerously as he set his tea cup down and took a cautious step toward me.

"He struck you." It wasn't a question but a blank statement. I quickly shook my head. Not necessarily.

"No. Just an accident." Hanabusa and Ruka came tearing around the corner. Oh great! I chastised myself mentally for not cleaning up in the bathroom before leaving the room. I'd forgotten how strong the smell of blood was to vampires in my haste to get away from Kaname This probably looked so bad. Hanabusa was suddenly in front of me, fingers in a firm grip on my chin, gently moving my head so that he could observe the no doubt technicolor bruise on my forehead. I watched that warmth leave him as his face closed down into a wintry cold, anger. He began to breeze past me toward the room I'd just vacated. Both Takuma and I grabbed an arm but he wasn't stopping.

"Busa, please! It was an accident!" He did stop then, turning slowly, almost reluctantly to look down at me. He looked my face over and shook his head.

"You smell of sex, tears, misery, pain and..." His eyes widened and he pulled me into his arms in a nearly fatally tight embrace. I hugged him back.

"I smell it too Aido." Takuma's voice was nearly pleasant, only a hint of anger hidden beneath.

"As do I." Ruka's voice was ripe with violence and I began to worry for my guards safety. I pulled back from Hanabusa, shoving a little when he wouldn't let go.

"Smell what?" I demanded but I feared I already knew. We vampires couldn't die from wounds like my head injury but we could "visit death" as they liked to call it. He brushes us, letting us know that we were gravely wounded and, were we anything but what we are, would be in his grasp. Takuma was the one to answer.

"You have been brushed by death this night, Lady Yuki."

"I am having a hard time believing all of this was an 'accident'." Busa, my sweet, charming, adorable Busa was nearly vibrating with rage, ready to rush in there and defend my honor.

"Even if it wasn't an accident, which it was, he would kill all of you if you tried to go against him."

"I do not care! No one gets to hurt you like that! No one." Those last words were filled with so much cold rage I shivered. I shook my head and hugged him again, holding him tight.

"I care. He could never hurt me worse than if he took you from me. Any of you. I can't lose anyone else. I can't." And that was the horrible truth, my greatest weakness. I took the lives of countless people who had loved ones and friends that would miss them while I held mine close and I hated it. His arms wrapped around me then moments later I felt and smelled Takuma's tall body press into mine, arms wrapping around both Busa and me. Ruka placed a single hand on my arm where it rested against Busa's lower back. The moment was perfectly warm and comforting. I allowed them only to hold me for a moment before I moved between them. They all stepped back so that I stood between the three of them. There was just one person I needed to see now to make the ending to this night perfect. But I had one last order to issue as Lady Yuki for the day.

"I need one of you to make sure that Mr. Shiki is kept under heavy surveilance."

"May we inquire as to the why behind your decision?" Takuma asked. I nodded.

"I warned him before he left not to speak of anything he knows."

"He couldn't possibly know much. You were only allied with Mr. Moto for less than twelve hours before you had Shiki removed from office." I nodded.

"It has been a long day. In such a short period of time Mr. Shiki has been exposed to quite a bit of damning knowledge about us. I did warn him." They all nodded.

"We know." Takuma said. I took a deep breath, steadying myself for what I was about to say.

"Put him under twenty-four hour surveilance."

"For how long?" Ruka this time.

"Until I deem him a threat to no one."

"And if he proves to be a threat?" Takuma's eyes were perfectly calm, that glow of amusement I usually cherished replaced by something I couldn't put my finger on. I knew he was weighing me, trying to measure me but after having lived for as long as he had I really didn't know what or who he was comparing me to.

"If he talks to anyone I expect that he and anyone he spoke with be quickly, quietly taken care of."

"You have never to my knowledge issued an order like this, Lady Yuki." I smiled at the surprise in his voice. It was always entertaining to knock the old ones for a loop. He was correct. If I needed someone killed I usually did it myself. I had always thought that was the least I could do. But I was beginning to see the error of my ways.

"No I have not. I am beginning to see that to rule I need to be a soldier when needed but I am the Lady of the vampires first and foremost, which requires me to pick my battles, not try to win every one of them from the front lines." Takuma stared for a moment before bowing deeply. He spoke while bowed.

"I may have underestimated you, my queen." I smiled, touching my hand gently to the soft golden halo of those wonderfully golden locks.

"Stand, Takuma." I hated it when people bowed to me. He didn't stand until I pulled my hand from where I stroked through his hair. He smiled at me and I offered him one back.

"If Shiki talks, kill him." I said to no one in particular as I smiled at Takuma.

"I will gladly do it myself." Takuma said a note of genuine joy in his voice. I genuinely smiled. He was still mad about how the man had insulted me.

"I know you would." He had referred to me as his queen, an honor I had yet to hear bestowed upon Kaname despite their history. I knew he would do just about anything I said without opposition. "Unfortunately you will be leaving with Lord Kaname tomorrow when he returns to his duties so if it is to be done, it must be by someone else' hand." The news seemed to be an utter shock to him and he quickly looked away.

"Why do you turn from me, Takuma?" he swallowed before looking back to me.

"It was my understanding that we were to remain here with you at the academy for some time until things settle once again. Plans have changed?" His eyes flicked up to the throbbing ache on my forehead before locking on my eyes. I smiled.

"They have." I gave him no more. His beautiful face fell into worried lines. "Do not worry for my safety, Takuma I have many guards here at the academy, quite a few of them are vampires and I can take care of myself." he laughed and nodded.

"Indeed you can." I patted his arm as I moved past him. Busa and Ruka parted and turned as if getting ready to flank me. I spoke without stopping or turning to them.

"No. I do not need nor want company right now. I will not leave the dorm. I simply wish to walk through and familiarize myself with it. I will find you when I have found a room I like." They stopped and seemed to be debating on whether to follow me anyway.

"Leave her to herself. Much has happened today, she has a great many things to think about." I smiled slightly at the calm, understanding tone in Takuma's voice as he reassured Busa and Ruka before I allowed myself to get lost in both the hallways and my thoughts.

… **...**

The hallways were labyrinthine and lavishly decorated with paintings, suits of armor, stone busts of endless varieties. Every hallway had a different theme, painted different colors and as hard as I tried to discern when exactly the paint had shifted from blue to yellow or maroon to turquoise I continually failed. It was all very intricately done. Each hallway offered so much that I could probably walk the building a hundred times and still see something new every time. The foyer was breathtaking. The marble floor was one giant mosaic of our solar system, each planet done in startling detail as if to say "You are here.". The ceiling was of the milky way and shimmered and twinkled as I walked. There was no chandelier to distract the eye from the view of the room. I couldn't really tell where the light source in the room was coming from. As near as I could tell the light came from the ceiling itself. The carpet running of the grand staircases that curled down either side of the massive room was a deep color that was a deep blue or purple, I couldn't tell it seemed to be shifting as I moved, with golden and silver thread twisting and twining through it in a devastatingly beautiful dance of light. I must have stood there for at lest twenty minutes trying to take it all in and still I always found something new to marvel at.

I began making my way down the hallways on the other side of the dorm, deciding I could stand there all night if I let myself. I was so lost to the beauty of the dorm that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I looked up to see Zero standing at the end of the hallway I was exploring. My heart beat a little faster the way it always had when he was around.

"Have you looked at the rooms yet?" I shook my head. "They're quite exquisite." I raised an eyebrow. Zero didn't strike me as a person that would take the time to appreciate art, which is exactly what this whole dorm was. He began moving slowly down the hallway towards me.

"Are they as beautiful as the hallways?" He quickly looked around him before smiling.

"For the most part. None are quite like the foyer though." I laughed.

"Nothing could compare to that!" He smiled.

"How could you know that when you haven't seen everything the building has to offer?" I shook my head.

"I just know." He shrugged, stopping a few feet back from me.

"A matter of opinion, I suppose." I nodded and began walking down the hallway again. His fingers brushed the back of my hand as I moved past him, stopping me. I glanced down at his hand where it had fallen back to his side then up into those violet eyes.

"Would you like to accompany me in my wandering curiosity?" He smiled slightly.

"I probably won't be very good company compared to the kind you usually keep." I scowled and punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" He said as he rubbed his new bruise.

"I have always enjoyed your company." He frowned at me.

"Not as of lately you haven't." Well that was debatable, but I didn't say that of course. I shrugged and looped my arm around his as I began moving us slowly down the hallway.

"Maybe that can change." He was quiet for so long we made it through two hallways before he spoke, gently using my arm wrapped around his to pull us to a stop. He stared very intensely into my eyes.

"I'm going to ask you some questions and you need to answer them truthfully." I blinked up at him for a second and sighed, nodding.

"What did you do earlier to contain the explosion?"

"How do you know it was contained?"

"I was there remember? I was surrounded on all sides when I felt and smelled the explosion go off. I heard the roar of the blast. It distracted me enough that two of my assailants got the drop on me." I so didn't want to think about the fact that I'd almost lost him. "I went back. I saw the damage."

"Yeah. The damage is extensive and will be mighty costly to repair."

"Not as extensive or as costly as it could have been. I know how badly it should have gone, but it didn't because of you."

"How do you know it was me that stopped it? There were plenty of others there that could have done it."

"No. There weren't." He stared at me as if trying to figure out why I didn't want to admit to what I had done. "I had heard that your specialty was in manipulating energy."

"I am particularly good at that, yes." He laughed.

"Pretty damn good if you ask me."

"I ask again, how do you know I stopped it?" He was quiet for a moment.

"Why is it so difficult for you to admit that you stopped the explosion?" I looked into those curious eyes and tried to find an answer, one that made sense to both of us. "You saved everyone at that dance tonight, Yuki. It is a good thing." I shook my head and he frowned at me.

"Nothing good comes without a price." I looked to the floor and had to blink rapidly to keep the tears gathering in my eyes from falling.

"I saw the scorch marks." I rolled my eyes up to see him staring at me then quickly away. I didn't want to hear what he was about to say. I didn't think I could handle being called a monster again. Not today.

"Are you going to call me names and point fingers too?" My voice sounded bland, tired. He cocked his head to the side and frowned at me.

"Who has called you names? What names?" I shook my head and smiled tentatively.

"I have been called many names today. You have been privy to some of them." He raised an eyebrow at that.

"I have? Really?"

"Don't play coy with me, Zero. I have no patience for it tonight. I saw you in the conference room. I know you were there. Did you like the show?" Anger flashed across his face but it wasn't directed at me.

"Not particularly." He was silent for a minute, eyes searching my face as if he was calculating something. "But I did like watching you handle the situation. You are quite good at politicking you know." I smiled sadly.

"I guess it's fortunate that I am."

"Given your choice of partners I'd say it's a hell of a bonus." I nodded and smiled while his face fell flat. "What will you do if Shiki doesn't heed your gag warning?" I gave him my professional smile as I answered.

"Kill him." His eyes went a little wide at that but he didn't say a word against my decision.

"I saw the scorch marks, Yuki. The air reeked of burning flesh." I looked away down the hall. He stepped back into my line of sight, crouching slightly so that he could see my face. "Did you do that?" There was no running from what I'd done so I simply answered, but I didn't like it.

"Yes." I waited, waited for him to scream and yell and call me a monster but he didn't. He stood straight, stared at me for a handful of moments and then dipped his head in acknowledgment. His lack of reaction startled me and I couldn't help but poke at it.

"You're not going to scream at me?" He huffed a small laugh and turned, beginning to mosey down the hall again. He held his arm out and I took the invitation to sidle closer to him at face value. We walked arm in arm down the hallway. He didn't speak until we were halfway down another.

"You're not a monster, Yuki." I was so startled by his declaration that I stumbled. His arm tightened and he slid his other hand on top of mine, steadying me. He stared straight forward as if he couldn't bear to look at me as he spoke. "I was raised, born into this hatred for vampires. It's a part of me. And I _have_ killed. I've killed countless Level Es in the five years you've been gone. When I started killing them it felt good, I felt like I was saving people by hunting the vermin into extinction." He was quiet for a few moments and I could visibly see him gathering his courage, holding it close to his chest.

"I'm not sure when being a hunter lost it's glow but one day as I stared down the barrel of bloody rose at one of them I realized I pitied them. I didn't want to kill them. You were right Yuki." I was? He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I _tried_ to hate vampires just for being what they were based on principals that don't really matter. They have alternative food sources that keep them from feeding on humans and the death of my parents? Well...any act of murder starts a vicious cycle of vengeance that might never end. They killed Shizuka's love so she killed the ones I loved and in turn I killed countless others who at one time or another had people who loved them. It never ends. One day I'll kill the wrong person and someone they love will claim my life in vengeance." He did stop then as if he needed full concentration for his next revelation.

"The truth is, I never stopped to think about it until you came back and made me. I thought about killing you so that you didn't have to live like this. Oh yes, I thought about it almost non-stop when you first came back to the academy. I had countless opportunities, opportunities you left open. I don't know if you did it to test me or if you even knew I was there, but you did know that I might kill you and you didn't seem to care. But I did, I cared and I hated myself for it. I beat myself up about it. I hated that every time I smelled you, saw you, tasted you it made me weak." He shook his head and pulled away from me, wandering over to a suit of armor like he was going to examine it closely. All I could do was stand there in awe as he told me everything I had wanted to hear. It was too good to be true.

"That first week after you returned was the hardest week of my life. I skulked around and as much as I wanted to, I never got close, never allowed myself to talk to you, only to watch, to search for a reason, anything would have done. I was waiting for you to show me that the old Yuki had been swallowed by the monster you had become, as you'd said before leaving. I searched for that monster. I wanted you to be monstrous...but you weren't." He was shaking his head, sending all those long silver locks swaying across his broad shoulders. He laughed suddenly and I jumped a little. "You were just as clever as you'd always been. You saw my game and turned it on me. At every turn you brought the monster out in me. I tried to get you to succumb to your hunger and feed on me and I fed on you. I laid tests out for you and in the end I wound up failing the very same tests. Even now when I confront you about you killing people and plotting the death of another I see the regret in your eyes, the hatred. You hate what you have become. Not the vampire, you don't mind that. You hate the queen you are forced to be because that is what you are. I see it, Yuki. And for better or for worse I can't see a monster in you." Something close to a sob sounded but was cut of abruptly. "You're not a monster, Yuki." The last was said on a whisper. I could smell his tears on the air and my heart hurt like a giant squeezed it tight in his fist, my eyes swelled over with tears of my own. I wanted to go to him so badly my skin itched with the desire but I stayed where I was.

"You realize that means you too are not a monster." I could hear my heart in my throat. Could he? He laughed a sad sound and nodded. He turned around and my heart broke. Those huge lavender eyes were glassy as they filled and leaked tears down his the flawless, pale perfection of his face. He took a step toward me then stopped, a look of pain on his face. I fought with everything I had not to run to him and hold him close while I kissed away his pain.

"You have stolen everything from me, Yuki: my rage, the hunt, my mind...my heart." He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, hands balled into fists at his side. "When I even think about you in danger I can't breathe, can't think. It's like everything just loses it's capacity to function. And you are always in danger." He swallowed hard several times. "It only takes being around you and I lose control of my body."

He opened his eyes and stared at me, really stared at me from head to foot the way he'd done that night in the bathroom, like he was undressing me with his mind. My heart raced and that thing low inside me clenched so hard and fast I gasped. I could smell his arousal on the air and I couldn't keep myself from going to him. I didn't want to stay away from him. His eyes followed me and I could almost taste his racing heart on the back of my tongue. I pressed my body against his and wrapped my arms around him, laying my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me without hesitation. We stood there like that and only our racing hearts and too fast breathing punctuated the silence. Time meant nothing. I wanted more than anything in the world to hold his naked body against mine. I closed my eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath before taking a step back. His arms fell away without question but he was pleasantly startled when I took his hand in mine, twining our fingers together. I smiled at him and the one he gave me in turn was absolutely beautiful, breathtaking. I began moving us down the hallway.

"Have you picked a room yet?" He cleared his throat before answering.

"Yes."

"Do you remember your way back to it?" I heard his heart rate double and smiled.

"Yes."

"Then lead the way."

"You want to see my room?" I smiled up at him.

"I would like to go back to your room, get down to as little clothes as possible," Preferably none, "and both hold you and be held by you, if you don't mind that is." He swallowed hard before shaking his head.

"Sounds wonderful." He led us around the corner and turned a devious smile on me that made my heart stop then beat triple time to catch up. My heart always did funny things around him, like he should come with a label, _WARNING: product is hazardous to health. Anyone with heart problems should turn the fuck around and leave immediately._

"Is this your ploy to get me out of my clothes?" I struggled to breath for a second before laughing. He smiled, something I'd never see enough of.

"Maybe." And that one word was filled with so much sexual promise that there really wasn't much talking to be done after that.

 **A/N- Hey guys so here it is, hot off the press. Please be kind and don't judge any gramatical/spelling errors too harshly. I tried my best to edit the biggest bulk of the first 2/3 of this chapter. The last third was just...yeah. I will try to have the next chapter to you soon but for now I hope you enjoyed this super long, juicy chapter! Peace out, lovelies! ;-***

 **P.S. I'd love to hear some reactions to this chapter.** _ **So**_ **much happened, there's just no way ya'll don't have something to say. If you found any continuity errors I'd also greatly appreciate it if you bring them to my attention. 'Till next chapter, my friends!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Greetings again, my friends. Firstly, I want to take a moment to thank all of those who took the time to review the last chapter: TaylaK11, DiizGiirlJess and Eat4Fun. Thanks so much guys! I love to hear from you!**

 **Secondly, several people have said that if I wrote another Vampire Knight fic they'd like to see something where Zero and Yuki get caught having sex. I've also received a request for a poly relationship between Zero, Yuki and Kaname as well as for a Zero/Kaname yaoi. Would any of these be something you guys would be interested in reading?**

 **Alright, without further ado I give you the next sneak peek into their world! Enjoy!**

 **QUICK DISCLAIMER- Shit is about to get real emotional, graphic in every way and intense as fuck up in this chapter. There will be hurt/comfort and some of ya'll are going to have a lot to say.**

I'll be quite honest, I didn't really see the room at all. All I could look at was Zero, the way his body moved in a lithe line of muscle and strength as he moved around the dark room. A light came on by the bed, bright enough to cast a dim glow in the darkness so that I knew his room was incredibly large. I could see that his bed was huge, much bigger than a California King. He moved slowly back towards me, stopping several feet back. My skin ached for his touch. I didn't want him so far away so I began closing the distance between us. He watched me come and I could see his heart in his throat. I stopped inches from him and stared up at him as I slid my hands softly over the expanse of his stomach, up his chest, under the short, ragged jacket, of the costume he was still wearing, as I slowly slid it off those incredibly wide shoulders. I licked my lips as that pale, pale skin was laid bare before me. With nothing to distract the eyes I was left staring at that broad chest, the pectoral muscles guiding the eyes down to the taught plains of his abs. I balled my hands into fists at my sides to keep from reaching out and tracing my fingers along the sharp V of his hips as they disappeared into the black sash sitting so dangerously low. I noticed that his shoes were gone, leaving his feet bare on the plush carpet underfoot, nothing like the hardwood floor of my room. He smiled at me and I found myself giving him one in return.

He slowly moved, quite as the wind after a storm, behind me, pressing his body against mine. My heart hammered in my chest so hard it was difficult to breathe. My stomach fluttered with the wings of a million butterflies as his fingers deftly popped the first button of my shirt open. The fluttering in my stomach worsened the closer he got to the finish line. When the shirt fluttered open with the last button undone he didn't stop there.

I stopped breathing as his fingers ghosted along the flesh just above where my shorts sat low on my hips. His clever fingers popped the button on my shorts; My heart stuttered and I forgot how to breathe. The sound of my zipper was incredibly loud in the dark of his room. He trailed his fingers back up my sides, only gently brushing the sides of my breasts but my body reacted, nipples hardening. He never touched my breasts as he slid my shirt off my shoulders and down my arms but that one graze along them had set my body on fire. I felt him lean down.

"Breathe." The word was breathed so softly, so close to my ear that his lips tickled along the edge of it. I shivered and took a shuddering breath that sounded embarrassingly loud. I felt his lips pull into a smile before he lightly ran his nose up my neck, burying it in the hair just behind my ear. My skin erupted in goosebumps as he took the smell of me deep into his lungs. I had a moment to thank the gods I had stopped off in one of the bathroom's in the endless string of rooms to take a quick shower. Every bathroom was so nicely stocked with fancy smelling soaps.

He grabbed my hips and pulled my body against his. We both made a small sound as my bare back met the naked expanse of his chest. I shuddered as he flattened one of his hands across my stomach, holding me firmly against him. A sigh shuddered out from him. I turned and wrapped my arms around him, my face against his chest. He took a hissing inhale and wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that, listening to each others racing hearts. He pulled back from me sliding one hand across my shoulders, and down my arm as he moved back until his fingers twined with mine. I both visibly and audibly heard his heart nearly triple as he looked at me wearing nothing but a small pair of jean shorts and the black heels I'd started the night in. The hose and garters were in a trash can in one of the bathrooms somewhere on the other side of the building. The heels were much more comfortable with the hose, but were bearable without them.

He guided me toward the bed, letting go of my hand at the foot of the monstrous thing as he climbed across it. My mouth watered watching the muscles in his back roll underneath the pale silk of his skin. He turned and lay on his back, chest slightly elevated because of the mound of pillows behind him. He held a hand out to me and I was suddenly moving across the bed towards him without thinking about it. One moment his face held everything I wanted to see: rapture, lust, that dark gleam men get in there eyes when sex is on the table. The next he was frowning, angry and something that was so primal I couldn't find a word to describe it. I watched his stomach muscles bunch as he sat up and got on his knees, closing the few feet of distance between us, stopping half a foot away. He reached his fingers out and gently brushed his fingers over a spot on my shoulder. I glanced down and saw the dull, shiny, pink scar on my shoulder that he ran his fingers over. Just like that I snapped back to myself. I was off the bed before he even registered I'd moved, the shock on his face was very apparent. I wasn't angry but I just no longer wanted him to see me. To see the stories written in the scars across my body

I, like Kaname, could use my powers to manipulate how I physically appeared. I usually maintained that glamour to hide my battle scars. I tried to put it back in place but I couldn't seem to concentrate enough right now. I shook my head, tears welling in my eyes as I turned and made my way back to where my shirt had fallen. I heard Zero curse with real feeling under his breath as I gave him my back, showing him more of the hideous things. I snatched my shirt off the floor and was shrugging it on when I felt Zero's hand on my shoulder, not rough or demanding, just a gentle touch that froze me in place.

"Why are you hiding yourself from me, Yuki?" I swallowed hard, blinking rapidly to fend off the tears threatening to spill over.

"Its just a habit, a facade I have to maintain for the cameras. The humans think us invincible. I can't let them think otherwise. If they know we can be hurt they'll do everything in their power to figure out how and when they do-" I shook my head and couldn't bring myself to finish the thought aloud. If they ever discovered our weakness vampires as a species would be in danger of extinction. It both baffled and scared me that the vampire hunters had held the secret of anti-vampire weapons as closely to the chest as us.

"That doesn't explain why you maintain your glamour even among your own people." I could have spouted a half-truth about how people value less what they know can be broken but I didn't. Instead I hated myself for the tears that slipped down my face. I casually swiped them away though there was no way of hiding it from Zero. Damn vampires and their super noses. I heaved a sigh and decided that if he wanted to know I would tell him. I was tired of dancing around secrets. I shouldn't have to do it with the ones I loved but unfortunately I had found that sometimes, as much as one might hate it, keeping secrets from those you loved was necessary. This was not that kind of secret, though Kaname certainly wouldn't like me telling Zero. I thought about it for a moment then shrugged, more to myself than anything. Fuck him. I was pissed at him right now.

"You really want to know?" He paused for a moment.

"Yes." I nodded and realized I suddenly didn't want to tell him just so that I didn't have to say it aloud and wished he'd said no.

"I hide them because Kaname can't seem to get past the scars. For whatever reason, if any of them are exposed he stares at it until I cover it." I hugged myself and let one of my most embarrassing moments sweep over me, letting it pour out for Zero to hear. "After I received my first scar on my stomach whenever we had sex he would only be able to finish if I wasn't facing him. Then I received several more, two of which were on my back. He avoided having sex with me for a while at first. Then we only had sex with the lights off. I thought when we started having sex with the lights on again that maybe he was getting used to them. But I started noticing that the only time he wanted to have sex was when we were somewhere moderately public and extremely risky. I thought it was the thrill of getting caught or something but then I realized it was because we both remained mostly clothed when we fucked that way." I took a deep breath as tears flowed down my face before continuing.

"Then on a diplomatic trip to a small village in Africa we ran across something we'd never encountered before. We went there to ransom in person for the release of our people whom they had somehow enslaved. A woman, a witch, was not in charge technically but her power...she wielded so much power that no one dared defy her. So, for all intents and purposes she was their leader. From the moment we stepped foot on her people's land we could feel her power. It was like walking through water, and breathing? That was an interesting task." I shook my head. "So much power. The closer we got to her the harder it got to breathe, the more it crept along our skin. When we saw our people-" I took a step from Zero and began pacing, the memory setting me on edge.

"I can't even begin to explain how they looked. It was like she'd hollowed them out, taken everything that made them who they were and filled them with her power. She told Kaname that if he could withstand her powers she would release our people. I tried to convince him not to do it. We had no idea what powers she could wield. 'These are our people, Yuki. If we can't save them then no one will and they are lost.' He went to her and between the two of them the magic was so thick in the air that breathing was nearly impossible. The battle was pretty evenly matched until our people under her control, without a word spoken from her, suddenly attacked us, me and our guards. Kaname got distracted. Everything happened so fast." I shook my head hard, sending my hair flying around my shoulders. "I still remember the awful sound of Kaname's scream. I've never heard anyone scream like that." I had to stop and just breathe past the tight knot my heart had twisted into for a few moments.

"He was on his knees before her, spine bowed back so far that I could see his face, hands clawing at the air. His eyes were rolled so far back into his head they were completely white, her hands on either side of his head were the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground. The black of her lipstick was smeared across his mouth that was open wide as he screamed as fast as he could draw breath. I didn't know what to do. We were surrounded and losing. Kaname had lost his battle."

"Yuki, you don't have to-" I held up a hand and he fell quiet. I'd started telling it and now I had to finish it. I just had to.

"That was the first time I knew I could manipulate energy. I discovered it in a moment of pure desperation. I sucked up all the magic she'd leaked everywhere and used it to kill her. I thought killing her would end it but it made things worse. Our people that had been under her control fell to their knees and screamed, clawing at their faces. Kaname didn't stop screaming either, he just writhed on the ground blind to everything around him. The ones we'd come to save suddenly stood up, faces nothing but shredded, red masks and came at us like animals. They attacked indiscriminately, slaughtering the village people as if they couldn't tell friend from foe. I had no choice. I had to kill them in order to save us but I didn't kill them soon enough. I didn't save everyone. We lost two of our guards in that battle."

"Why are you telling me this?" I hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened in that village. I still had nightmares about that place, everything painted red with the blood of the village people and the imploded vampires we'd gone to save.

"Kaname still screamed and writhed on the ground like he was in pain. I wanted to go to him but Senri wrapped me in his arms to keep me away. I struggled against him and Akatsuki stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Kaname, shouting over his screaming so that I could hear him. 'We have no idea what kind of magic this is, Lady Yuki. If you go to him and it spreads to you we could very well lose the both of you and I'm sorry but we can't allow that.'" I had to close my eyes, skin breaking out in chills as Akatsuki's voice spoke only in my head, never again to be heard aloud. "I calmed as we tried to figure out how to help him but we were at a loss. We couldn't transport him if we couldn't touch him and we didn't want to use magic on him for fear of it reacting badly with whatever she'd done to him. We were all panicking, but none so much as Ruka. We should have been watching her more closely. I saw her resolve crack and screamed for someone to stop her as she raced toward Kaname, crying as if he were already dead. Even as I screamed it I knew we'd all be too late. Akatsuki was the closest to her. He tried, he really did. The second she touched him we all knew the nature of the magic. Her eyes rolled back into her head and Kaname and her ravaged one another. All we could do was watch in open mouthed horror as they tore the clothes from one another and fed at each other's bodies like they were starving for the feed." Zero's face was aghast, mouth hanging open in a painfully similar way to how we had looked. .

"Kaname and Ruka? They-" He cut himself off but I knew what he'd meant. I smiled at him and nodded.

"Yep, non-stop for nearly three whole days." His eyes widened to the point where I thought they might fall out of his head. His reaction was too perfect.

"What did you all do while they..."

"While they fucked each other's brains out?"

"Yeah." I shrugged

"We thought we'd just let them at it until the magic burned off. After they carried on like that for a day or so and they just kept going we decided to try to find some help. We found a shaman several villages over and asked that he come consult for us. After telling him exactly what had happened and showing him the result he informed us that the magic they were under was one meant to consume everything it touched in 'the flames of carnal pleasures'. One would feed at the other until either one or both of them died or they were strong enough to burn through the magic before it burned them up. He advised us to remain cautious and steer clear of them because if one of them died the other would either find another partner or burn from the inside out with unquenchable desire."

"There was no way to stop it?"

"Nope. It was originally intended for her to be able to feed from the sexual energy and life force of those afflicted but with no one there to control it the magic once unleashed could run rampant as long as there was another victim for it, spreading by the simplest of touches." I shook my head. "At first we stayed in the hut, over-looking their...activities to ensure that they didn't actually kill each other. Akatsuki was the first to leave the hut, then Senri. Rima stuck it out the longest but eventually even she left. I stood alone in that hut for hours, watching them roll naked and writhing across the floor covered in sweat, blood and other fluids. I don't think I'll ever forget how they moved together. No matter how many times they came they just seemed to burn for more."

"Jesus." I nodded. I had lived for nearly two more days wondering if I'd lose Kaname and Ruka, watching them off and on for hours on end.

I shuddered, remembering the way Ruka had ridden him, fingers carving thin, bloody trails down his chest and the way he bellowed for her. Or the way he had so roughly flipped her onto her stomach, balling his hand in her hair, using it as a handle to pull her against him and slam his way inside her. Her body arched back against his, breasts bouncing with every thrust...and the way he growled as he sank his fangs into her neck. Her scream crept along my skin even now. Her darker skin against the pale of his as they moved in an endless cycle of pleasure was hypnotic. I remember the distinct urge at some point to scream at them, _"This is reality, not fucking porn! It can't feel that good for fuck's sake!"_

Of all the positions they had fucked in I was haunted by one in particular. Ruka sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his hips, head back in ecstasy, one arm around his shoulders, the other hand twined through his hair. His hands gripped her ass, arms corded with muscle as he helped her ride him, mouth feeding at her breast. He pulled free from her with a wet pop, throwing his head back, her blood trailing down from the corner of his mouth, as they both shuddered and screamed their pleasure to the sky. While he still cried out for her she cradled his face between both hands, riding him for all she was worth as she kissed him deep, swallowing his moans. I shook free of the memories of that night, getting back to the story.

"I was bent out of shape, but Akatsuki..." I turned from Zero. "He loved her. Gods he loved her. He'd loved her for so long. He was inconsolable, sitting in a corner of one of the huts on the opposite side of the village. He wouldn't let anyone but me near him." I put a hand to my heart like that would stop the pain searing it. "I quietly held him for hours, running my fingers through his hair and along his back and finally he broke. He huddled around me like I was the last candle in the dark and cried. But he never spoke a word." A fresh wave of grief racked me as I remembered the sight of such a strong, proud man bending and twisting as much of that tall lithe body as he could so that it fit in my lap or around me.

"Did you cry with him?" I shook my head.

"No." But I cried now. I cried once again for my lost friend. Grief was a funny thing. Just when you thought you'd healed, it came along and gutted you again.

"Why not?"

"Because he needed me. I was his anchor in a world turned topsy-turvy. He cried for us both while I gave him the only thing I could." I had held him while his heart broke but who was there to hold me when _my_ heart broke over him? I shoved the anger that was trying to rise up right back down.

"I'm going to assume they both made it out of there since they're both here." I nodded.

"Yep. Three days of moaning, groaning and screaming. They both fell into a coma after, their bodies depleted of energy, blood count well below what it should have been, dehydrated. The shaman told us they needed to feed or they wouldn't wake up, but they needed to wake up to feed. He gave us a needle and tube, advised feeding them at least twice a day, said he had nothing left to offer us and that he would pray for us and left. Senri was the first one to go in. When he didn't turn unto a ravenous sex beast we all took turns hooking ourselves up to the tubes and waited."

"How long did they sleep?"

"Almost two weeks to the day they went into the coma. We hunted and ate anything in the surrounding area to keep our blood supply up, slept in shifts and checked on them religiously, donating blood to them twice, sometimes three times a day in hopes that they would wake up."

"How many of you were there?" I heaved a heavy sigh.

"Four."

"Four! How the hell did you manage that? Why didn't you call for help?" I turned to look at him.

"A cell phone isn't of much use when the nearest cell tower is over a hundred miles away. And we mostly hunted and slept to keep up our strength and donated blood. A week and a half in Seiren no longer had the strength to donate, she couldn't even hunt. The constant blood depletion, combined with the diet of strictly animal blood was too much. Three days later they woke up but were unable to move on their own, their bodies too sore, despite the two week long slumber. By that point Akatsuki, Senri and me had lost an average of forty pounds a piece and were worn ragged. The only way out of that village was on foot."

"How the hell were _you_ alive? Losing forty pounds should have killed you!" I smiled weakly.

"I admit that I was indeed quite a frightening sight to behold. Had they kept on for any longer I would likely have died in that village. However, I have discovered that you only discover how truly strong you are when you need your strength the most." He nodded once, accepting my answer.

"How did all of you get out of there?"

"We all carried someone. I carried Ruka, Akatsuki carried Kaname and Senri carried Seiren. In our diminished state I can honestly say, it was probably one of the most physically taxing things I've ever done. We stumbled across sixty miles through the grasslands to our truck which had stalled out at the border of the tribe's land to find that our people _had_ formed a search and rescue party."

"Then why couldn't they find you?" I laughed.

"Apparently the magic she had soaked her village in acted as a sort of mystical force field and when I absorbed it and killed the witch she somehow permanently transported the entire village to another plane of existence, that apparently was where the damned thing resided anyway. Or at least that was how it was explained to me. Unless we physically left and brought someone in with us you could walk right through the village and see nothing, nor would we. It's kind of awesome actually. Unless she wanted you to find them you never would." We were both silent for a few minutes before he quietly cleared his throat.

"Not that I don't...appreciate the insight into what you've been up to the past few years but why did you tell me this."

"The witch's magic had a lasting effect. Kaname and Ruka were nearly inseparable for more than six months after that. They got naked together every chance they got."

"How did that not bother you?" I scoffed then laughed, a loud, harsh burst of sound.

"It did bother me. Ruka has been in love with Kaname for almost as long as Akatsuki had been in love with her. I didn't blame her for being unable to fight the witch's magic. I didn't blame either of them, but especially not Ruka. I don't know whether I hated their union more because of how it hurt Akatsuki, Ruka's impending heart break when the magic finally wore off or if I was just being selfish."

"How were you being selfish?" He sounded slightly outraged.

"I tried to seduce him. I tried to lure him to my body instead of Ruka's. Every time met in failure. He only desired Ruka. All my attempts did was frustrate us both. 'I want to desire you, Yuki. I am damned to lust for her...but I love you.' That's what he told me about two months after we'd left what had happened in Africa behind us. Except it _wasn't_ behind us. So, I just abandoned my own needs, ignored them, only partially slaking them when seduction was part of our political game. I'm ashamed to admit that I began looking forward to sexual interludes with sleazy politicians. I took my pleasures where I could find them." I bit my lip, blinking away the tears gathering in my eyes. "We went to bed one random night and for the first time in over six months he suddenly sprung a boner. We were thrilled. I was fucking ecstatic!" I cleared my throat as tears threatened to clog it up.

"In the beginning when all these new powers were uncontrollable for the most part I couldn't hold or really even use my glamour but by that point I'd perfected it, thinking he didn't want me because of my scars. I'd gotten really good at maintaining it." I scoffed. "I wasn't as good as I thought. About three minutes into the actual sex when I climaxed, in that moment of total abandon my control fled. I didn't even notice until his erection began to flag. I knew he hadn't finished and couldn't figure out why he'd gone soft. He was on top of me, completely still. I thought something was wrong when he refused to look at me. When I realized he was staring at my scars I was livid, heartbroken. I shoved him off of me, put my clothes on and left while he was still babbling. I couldn't tell you what he'd said if my life depended on it." It was so quiet in the room that the sound of Zero's racing heart and too fast breathing sounded thunderous. For no reason at all I began to cry, biting my lip to keep most of it in. I sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out.

"After that night he stopped bedding Ruka. It was a long time before she would even talk to me after that. I know why he stopped fucking her. He did it for me. To prove he didn't need her anymore. But I'm not stupid. I see the way his eyes follow her. I know he still wants her and I don't think that will ever change."

"And that bothers you." Not a question just a statement. I shook my head, wiping uselessly at the tears silently falling down my face.

"Not anymore. I think I just don't care. I used to but I've shared too much of him for far too long. I think I've grown accustomed to it." His arms wrapped around me and he hugged me to him.

"You shouldn't have to, dammit." His voice was squeezed tight with a cold rage. I smiled and patted his arms where they wrapped around my chest.

"It's fine, Zero." He suddenly whirled me to face him so fast my shirt flared open around me. I quickly, reflexively grabbed the lapels and wrapped it tight to hide my scars. His eyes tracked the movement and there was an anger so pure in them but then that gave way to a look that made my heart flutter in my chest, a look of compassion, longing, possession and...love.

"Don't you _ever_ let me hear that from you again Yuki Cross. Do you hear me? Don't ever let me see you settling for less than you deserve ever again. He has you and doesn't know what to do with you. I want you, would wrest all the stars from their home in the heavens if they'd only compare to your light...and I can't have you." There was real regret and pain in his eyes. Fresh tears rolled down my face as I stared at the fierce love lighting those lavender eyes like gemstones in the dark. He slid his fingers along the lapels of my shirt until his hands rested on top mine over my stomach.

"Please, don't hide from me, Yuki. Let me see you. All of you." I fought with my inner demons, struggling to overcome the self conscious beast that had taken up residence in me. In the end it was the love, patience and hope in the eyes of the man kneeling before me that won out as I dropped my arms to my sides and gave myself to him, trusting that he wouldn't break me.

He slowly slid my shirt back off before dropping to his knees in front of me, trailing his fingers down my body. He stared into my eyes as he hooked his finger under the denim waistband of my shorts. I fought for breath as he slipped them gently, delicately down my legs, lifting one foot at a time until he threw them over his shoulder. I stood completely naked before him and was torn between wanting to go for a towel or something to cover up with and ravishing the man before me. He broke my gaze and sat back on his heels roving his eyes very, very slowly up my body. When he got to my face the lavender of his eyes was swirling with garnet turning them into something absolutely stunning. He was breathing hard as he leaned forward, eyes rolled up to mine as he kissed his way along the long, thin scar on my lower stomach, a few inches below my belly button. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, sighing at the immeasurably gentle, feather-light caress of his lips across the sensitive skin of my scar. My knees were shaky by the time he reached the other end of the scar and when he ran his tongue along it my knees buckled. His hands caught me, parting my legs on either side of his hips so that I sat on his lap. My insides quivered as he ran his fingers up my spine, stopping to trace the stab wound just off to the left, about four inches from my heart. He froze.

"This was _very_ close." I nodded.

"I almost died." Multiple times actually but I wasn't going to say that. He shuddered before he looked up at me.

"Don't you ever do that. Don't die on me, Yuki." What could I say to that? I was trying to think through a response to that but then he nuzzled his nose up the side of my neck and I couldn't do anything but shiver for him. The tips of his fangs grazed my neck and I moaned. He slid his hands up my back, burying one of them into my hair and then my heart stopped. My world exploded, falling around me in pieces as we kissed for the first time. His lips were softer than I'd ever imagined, moving against mine like silk given life. I slipped my tongue between those so soft lips, dancing it between his fangs. Kissing a vampire was an art I had long since perfected. He moaned into my mouth, sending my heart into spastic seizures and the kiss deepened into something burning with passion and an edge of desperation built from a desire cooked up over long years. So many _almost_ kisses, so many times we'd held each other close, wanting but never daring.

He broke the kiss first and we both gasped for air. We laughed and I twined my fingers in his hair kissing him again. He groaned and I broke the kiss with a squeal when he exploded up off the floor, launching me. I was air-borne for a second before I landed on the bed with a bounce. I laughed past my heart trying to come out my throat and sat up to see him stalking towards the bed, a predatorial sway to his walk. I swallowed hard and something clenched low within me so hard I gasped as he began unwrapping the sash around his hips. The sash fell to the floor and I either lost time or he moved just that quickly but one moment he was wearing the white hakama, the next he was naked. I moaned and without thinking began moving toward him. He was suddenly kneeling right in front of me. Stripped out of clothing he was more glorious than in them.

I marveled at the way every muscle of his tall lithe body flowed seamlessly into the next like a perfectly carved marble sculpture with skin stretched over it. His cock stood out from his body and it wasn't his length that was impressive but his girth. He stared down at me and I showed him with my eyes that I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anything. He growled and then I was pinned beneath his body. He watched my face as he slid down until he could flick his tongue across my nipple. I grabbed his hair and yanked him up so that I could kiss him hard and deep. I broke away and held his face between my hands, staring into his eyes, now that rich swirling red, from inches away.

"I want you, Zero. I want you _now._ No more waiting, we've already waited too long."

"Are you sure?" I'd never been more sure of anything in my life. I put everything I wanted from him into my eyes and my voice when it came was husky with sex.

"Fuck me, Zero." I ground my hips up into him to emphasize exactly what I wanted. His eyes slid closed and he moaned lightly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me, sitting back on his heels. His lips fed at mine as my body began to roll against his on its own. I was so wet that his lower stomach was slick with my juices. He made some noise deep in the back of his throat and without any further coaxing thrust into me. I broke from his lips to throw my head back as we both cried out. He was wide enough that there should have been more prep-work involved before anything as rough as what we were doing was actually done. He stretched me wide as he thrust into me again. I cried out again, the pain of him shoving so much so fast inside me heightened my pleasure to the point where I couldn't breathe. He stopped moving.

"Am I hurting you." I wanted to say yes, but it feels _so_ good! More, please! But I couldn't breathe to speak. I sucked in a shaky inhale and shook my head, leaning into him to breathe in his ear the only thing I could actually say.

"Harder." His eyes were only a little wide as he pulled back. I swallowed hard before speaking. "I'll tell you if you're hurting me but for the love of the gods just _fuck me_ , Zero!" I nearly screamed the last and he took me at my word. He shoved me back onto the bed using the bounce and the fall to maximum advantage, thrusting so deep and hard inside of me that the pain was almost, almost too much but it wasn't. It danced that fine line between pleasure and pain just right. I screamed for him and dug my fingers into his ass, pulling him into me to reassure him he hadn't hurt me. I wanted him to fuck me as hard as he could while I was still tight enough that the pleasure/pain combo still confused my brain. He gave me just that.

One second I was lucid enough to think, the next I was lost to the rhythmic pounding of our bodies. Zero moaned and between one thrust and the next my body exploded with pleasure. I raked my nails, that had grown out a little, down his back as the pleasure grew, swelled inside me, filling me up and stretching my skin with the golden glow of orgasm that with one final thrust spilled out of my mouth in one long scream, bowing my spine. Zero cried out above me and his rhythm faltered before he thrust as hard as he could against me sending me spiraling back into oblivion.

I came out of it breathless and wild with hunger. Hunger for him, all of him. I wanted to feel him thrusting into me as I plunged into him. I shoved his left shoulder and rolled his body so that he stared up at me with a slightly shocked look on his face. I ground and rolled my body above him, dancing him in and out of my body. The look of absolute pleasure on his face, the rapture in his eyes as he watched me was beautiful. His hands found my hips, thrusting up into me as I rode him. He cried out, throwing his head back and just like that I came again, screaming as my body pulsed around his. He cried my name. And I felt the fine tremble in his body beneath mine. I opened my eyes and stared down at him which was my mistake. I saw that wild look in his eyes, the hunger there for me to the very thing I fought not to do. I grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his body up to mine, he moaned for me and I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to help free the caged beast roaring against the side of his neck.

"Bite me." He gasped out. "Bite me! Oh god, Yuki!" _"Don't hide from me, Yuki."_ His voice played through my mind and something I couldn't begin to explain slipped away from me, replaced by the most profound sense of peace I'd ever felt. Whatever resolve I had left snapped as I plunged my fangs into his neck. His body spasmed fingers ripping through the bed sheets with a nearly meaty sound as he screamed his release. I tasted his orgasm with every pull of my mouth on his throat. His breathing was erratic, fingers digging into my ass, helping me ride him faster and either the endorphins kicked in or he was sensitive, or some combo of the two, because he came again. I tasted a new burst of endorphins in his blood with every mouthful. He screamed and I had to hold him tight so my fangs didn't rip his throat open as his spine tried to bow. His hands gripped me tightly as he came again and again the more I drank from him. My own release came, with no warning, again and his fingers spasmed against my body.

"YUKI!" He screamed my name on one ragged breath. I pulled away from his neck. As soon as my fangs no longer held him captive his body flopped bonelessly back onto the bed. His blood dribbled down from the corner of my mouth as I threw my head back and screamed one final release that made Zero cry out again before I fell on top of him. I couldn't think, move, breathe. Our hearts were loud, racing at nearly the same speed. I struggled to breathe past the meaty hammering of my heart against my ribs. I swear I saw stars behind my closed lids.

We lay like that for time unknown before I could finally move enough to slide to the side of him. Both of us cried out as our bodies separated where we'd been joined and I had to relearn to breathe again. I recovered before he did, propping myself on my elbow to look down at him through nearly closed lids. He licked his lips and groaned sucking in a deep breath.

"Holy...fucking...hell!" His voice was rough from all the screaming and he still couldn't open his eyes. I Laughed and wiggled until I could kiss him. Our mouths danced in a lazy rhythm. He turned his head and gasped for air.

"Need...to breathe...woman." I laughed again and snuggled down next to him. We both sighed and I remember thinking, _I love you, Zero._ I don't think I ever said it because the next thing I knew blackness ate my world and I was happy to fall into it with the smell and feel of Zero wrapped around me.

… **...**

I woke to the delicious smell of midnight lavender on a spring breeze. I smiled as I felt his fingers lightly tracing up and down the fine hairs on my forearm. I was pressed against his back, arm slung over his waist, face snuggled against the soft skin between his shoulder blades. The curve of his ass fit perfectly into the V of my lower stomach and upper thighs.

"Good evening." I could hear the smile in his voice. I kissed his back and smiled.

"Evening. How long have you been awake?" He rolled over to face me and my eyes stung with tears to echo the undiluted joy I saw on his face.

"A while but I didn't want to wake you." He kissed my forehead and when he pulled back there was a devious grin stretched across that full, pale pink mouth. Oh boy. I rolled onto my back so that I could see his face without straining my neck.

"Did you know you snore?" I blinked in shock before playfully smacking him on the shoulder, puckering my lower lip out in a mock pout.

"I do not." He laughed a loud, completely comfortable, joyous sound I had never heard before he ran his thumb lightly across my lower lip.

"You do but it isn't loud. It's soft, quiet like a baby snore. It's actually rather adorable." He leaned in and placed the softest, most chaste kiss on my puckered lower lip. Before he did that I might have protested being called adorable. Then I saw that gleam of joy in his eyes again. He could call me anything he wanted as long as he never stopped looking at me like that. He trailed his fingers over the scar on my lower stomach that he'd so carefully kissed this morning. His face lost some of it's joy, glowing with curiosity instead. I tried to prepare myself for whatever he was about to ask.

"Can I ask where you got this?" He stared patiently down at me from where he was propped on an elbow.

"A sword fight gone wrong." He raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't know you were skilled with a sword."

"I wasn't. Not when I got that scar."

"And now?" I smiled.

"Maybe you'll have occasion to find out one day." He frowned for a moment.

"How did you have occasion to even pick up a sword?"

"When it was the weapon of choice in a personal challenge against my authority." Both eyebrows raised this time.

"They had an anti-vampire weapon?" I nodded. "And still you accepted the challenge?"

"I didn't know at the time that it was an anti-vampire weapon or I would have insisted on them switching the sword for a more mundane weapon." He seemed to accept that answer, trailing his fingers across triple spiral puckered just under my sternum.

"And this one?"

"Did you know that the Irish are one of the only cultures in the world that have no lore about vampires? None. Not a single myth. The closest they have is ghosts and the faerie world."

"Really?" I nodded.

"They are also a highly superstitious/religious people."

"And that's where you got this scar?" I nodded again.

"They didn't very much like vampires being on their island, though vampires had in fact been living there for quite some time, they were just impeccably careful. They thought that they might be able to purify my soul so that I might stand a shot in hell at getting past the pearly gates, I'm paraphrasing here of course."

"So they branded you?" It was a valid question since fire was the only thing other than anti-vampire weapons that if applied thoroughly enough could kill a vampire, and scarred like a bitch.

"Not exactly. They slowly pushed a hot iron triple spiral into me. Something about the pain being necessary for the cleansing process." I pointed to where the bottom part of the scar widened, appearing almost like it was smudged. "This is from when they began angling up for my heart." His eyes were wide.

"They intended to kill you." I nodded.

"Well, actually they intended to prep me and then send me on the way for my judgment."

"Fucking Zealots!" He nearly hissed. I patted his arm and smiled up at him in what I hoped was a soothing way.

"Yes, they were. Akatsuki and Kaname saved me before they could though." He nodded, pointing to the perfectly round scar slightly higher and off to the left of the triple spiral. It was about the size of a half dollar.

"This one?"

"That is the exit wound for the much larger entry wound on my back." His eyes widened again.

"What did this?"

"A very long, sharp, four sided blade."

"But the wound is circular."

"They decided to add insult to injury by twisting the blade."

"Were you distracted? How did they get your back?" I smiled.

"You won't like the answer." He just stared down at me with that ever patient stare. "That blade was not intended for me."

"Who then?"

"Kaname. He was on his knees, they were about to impale him through the head. I dove forward, shoved him away and took the blade instead." Emotions flitted across his face like clouds before the sun. Finally he just nodded.

"You really must sit down and tell me some of the stories from your travels sometime." I laughed.

"Maybe I will but I must warn you in advance, not all of the stories I have to tell are as interesting as the ones detailing how I got my scars." He smiled and shrugged.

"There are multiple scars running down your back. What are they from?"

"You want to see them." I could hear the curiosity in his voice so I didn't ask but he nodded as if I had. I just rolled onto my stomach. His breath drew short as he gingerly trailed his fingers across one of the five ragged scars.

"How? What did this?"

"I was engaged in combat with two others already. The enemy that dealt this wound wore gloves with incredibly sharp claws like that of some large cat. They slaughtered one of our guards before coming at my back."

"Who is it? Who did you lose?" I took a breath and held it for a moment before responding.

"You wouldn't know her."

"But you did." I smiled sadly and nodded.

"Kokoro. Her name was Kokoro and had she not died we might have become friends, her and I. She was lovely by every definition of the word." I laughed abruptly. "Except for in combat. That was the only time she did not smile." I rolled over so that I faced him and he couldn't ask about any more of the scars on my back. He smiled sadly at me.

"Don't do that." I shoved the slew of emotions that tried to rise up back into the box I kept them in. He shook his head and his face was pleasantly blank. His face fell into painful lines as his fingers reached out to hover over, though not touch, the quarter size scar on my right shoulder. My heart squeezed tight for a second and I began pulling back from him until I saw the hurt flash through his eyes and stopped. I thought about getting mad but realized I couldn't. I had shared my pain with him and didn't need to tell him this story. He watched my eyes for a moment before he stared back at the scar on my shoulder. His fingers still hesitated just over it.

"Why can't I bring myself to touch it?" I couldn't help the tender look on my face as I spoke, sorry that he felt _my_ pain so profoundly.

"I've come to learn that the wounds that hurt the worst are often the ones that leave no physical scar."

"But there is a scar here. It's physically not a fatal wound but...the loss that accompanies the memory of this scar sure felt fatal." The tears that had welled in my eyes spilled over as I saw the glassy sheen of compassion in his lavender eyes.

"Yes. It did." He didn't say it but he didn't have to. His eyes said it for him. _I'm so sorry._ He leaned over and I watched as he kissed that shiny, pink wound, for it can hardly be called a scar if the wound never heals. I closed my eyes and swallowed convulsively trying to control the emotional overflow. His arm wrapped around me and he pulled our bodies together, holding me as I silently cried.

"I'm here, Yuki. It's okay. Cry. I'm here now." His next words were whispered into my ear. "I'll be right here to put the pieces back together when you're done falling apart."

That was all I had wanted for so long, I'd just never let myself admit it. Now as he held me tight it all came crashing in again. All the loss, the blood, the pain, the screaming, the heartbreak. The faces of those I'd lost swam through my mind. The chaos of all those emotions filled me up until I felt like I was going to burst as I wept. Then Akatsuki's face, memories of him flooded through like a perfectly pieced together fucking montage or something. Me holding him as he wept, him holding me as I cried, our mouths feeding from one another, us laughing, his wondrous smile, play fighting, us playing chess, hang-man, checkers, yahtzee, standing up at a karaoke bar singing Bohemian Rhapsody together...all these memories but it was the words he'd uttered in his final moments that shattered me all over again. _"Fight, my queen! Fight!"_ My body quaked against Zero's and through my sobbing I heard him.

"Scream, baby. Just scream." And just like that five years worth of misery compacted inside my tiny heart poured out of my body in racking sobs, tears and screams.

I cried until I had nothing left. It was like I had run out of windshield wiper fluid or something...and I was okay with it because even though the ache was still there, and I felt like I could still cry, I felt so much better. When I fell quiet I could hear that Zero was softly humming something but I couldn't figure out what it was. I rolled slightly in his arms so that I could see his face to see that he too had cried, though for him it had been more like shedding a few tears.

He smiled gently bending down to me. I thought he was going to kiss me but instead he bypassed my lips. I stopped breathing as his so soft lips kissed away my misery. He kissed every drop of my broken heart from my cheeks and still he kissed my skin. Then he nibbled along my jaw and discovered I was ticklish along the soft skin just under the jaw before the neck begins. I squealed and shoved at his chest when he wouldn't abandon my newly found weak spot but his strong arms held me close as he relentlessly nibbled me until I had dissolved into a giggling fit that proved I still had more tears in me. He finally stopped, laughing a rich, pure roll of happiness that made me smile up at him, still breathless from his tickle torture. His face glowed with joy as he placed a soft, chaste kiss on my lips before rolling over so that he was above me. I watched that look of rapture light his eyes again before he spoke.

"Lets go get sudsy together!" The almost child-like glee in those words made me laugh. I nodded up at him and he grinned, sliding his hands under my ass, cupping it and pulling our bodies together as he lifted me from the bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he moved us towards the bathroom. He turned on the water and stepped into the shower before the water had time to warm.

"The water isn't-" I didn't get to finish before the cold spray hit my back like an electric thrill down the spine. I squealed and squirmed in his arms to get away from the water.

"ZERO!" My voice was high-pitched and petulant.Zero was nearly hysterical with laughter as he turned me from the water. I slapped his shoulder.

"What the fuck did you do that for!" He knew the water was cold! He still smiled, but his eyes had darkened as he used his hold on my ass to jack me up higher on his body.

"For this." His mouth closed around one of my now very hard nipples, rocking my head back on my spine. I moaned, lacing one of my hands into his hair as his tongue danced across my nipple, teeth gently pulling and nipping at the taught flesh, lips feeding at the soft skin. He suddenly pulled me from his body, setting me down at arms length as I reached for him. He shook his head and laughed, stepping back too. He turned and when he turned back he had a wash cloth and soap in hand.

"The water is warm now." He gestured to the spray, inclining his head towards it when I didn't move. I frowned at him, which made him laugh again, as I stepped under the spray.

I sighed and closed my eyes, basking in the glorious rain of the shower. I opened my eyes to find that Zero was watching me while washing his body in slow circles. Ahhhh...now all was becoming clear. He wanted a show and was going to provide one in exchange. I grinned. I could do that. I turned under the spray so that I could squeeze soap onto my hand, stepping from under the spray, which put me about four inches from Zero, as I raised my arms and began washing my hair. I scrubbed my scalp, watching his face as the first trail of suds made it's way down the side of my neck, slowly trailing across my breast and down my stomach. I smiled as I stepped back under the water. Zero made some small noise as the water and suds began cascading down my body.

When my hair was soap free I opened my eyes to find Zero completely scrubbed down and soapy. I swallowed hard, balling my hands into fists to keep from reaching out and touching him. I wasn't fully aware of the rules to this game but I was pretty sure that the first person to cave to their desire lost. I applied conditioner and smiled seeing a loofah hanging on a hook under the body wash dispenser. He preferred wash cloths to loofahs. That was fine with me. I was a loofah girl. I took the puffy and soaped it up as I moved around him, gesturing at the shower spray. He laughed as he complied. I turned and my jaw nearly hit the floor as all the air in my body escaped me. The combination of water and soap rolling over all that incredibly pale skin, making it shine in the light was almost too much. He tipped his head back, letting the water pour over him as he ran his hands down the flats of his pecs, fingers dipping and diving slowly across the peaks and valleys of his abs. All this water and my mouth ran dry. How was that possible?

His hand slid across his hip and I dropped my loofah when he groaned as his fingers wrapped around his very hard cock. His other hand came up and began massaging his balls, very thoroughly removing every ounce of soap. I was so focused on watching his hands that I didn't realize he was watching me watch him until he spoke.

"It would seem you dropped something." His voice was husky and deep to accompany the promise of sex in his eyes.

I swallowed hard and nodded, crouching as I patted around, searching for my loofah without looking away from him. He laughed and turned to get shampoo. Oh, I was so going to lose this game! I shook my head hard and forced myself to look away from him. I don't know what it was about seeing men all naked and dripping wet that turned us women into drooling, slobber-buckets, but damn! Men + water just flat did it for me. If I could figure out the chemistry behind it I'd bottle that shit and sell it. I washed my body the way I usually did, thoroughly, though not nearly as slowly or provocatively as he had. There was no point in me playing this game. I was going to lose anyway.

I tried to just mind my own business but the lure of Zero and water was too perfect. I looked up and licked my lips as he stood, arms raised over his head, fingers working through his long, thick, silver locks, water shimmering over all that alabaster perfection as the soap swirled down the drain. Ye gods! I finished scrubbing myself quickly as I moved towards him, dropping the loofah as I moved. He opened his eyes and moved his head to look at me.

"Touching is against the rules." He grinned as he said it.

"Fuck it. You win." I slid my hands over the slick expanse of his chest, sliding my body against his.

I moaned feeling him hard and so ready against my lower stomach. He spun me so that I was under the spray and grabbed a handful of my hair, using it to yank my head back. I gasped, holding my breath as he ran his fingers through all my long hair, washing it clean like he'd done to his. He moved me again so that I was bowed backwards under the spray so that my face wasn't being hit by the water but everything else was. His arm at my lower back steadied me. I felt his hand slide up my inner thigh and my breath hitched, heart nearly stopping when his fingers slid along the outside of me, toying with me ever so gently. His fingers dipped shallowly inside me then up and over my clit in tantalizing circles. I gasped for breath at his gentle, teasing touch, digging my fingers into his shoulders as my breathing quickened. My knees buckled and he effortlessly took my weight, quickening his fingers. That weight of pleasure intensified, getting heavier, heavier, heavier. I cried out, spine bowing against his hold on me as the orgasm swept over me, leaving me limp in his arms. He pulled me close to him, chuckling as he swept my legs up into his arms, carrying me against his chest. I don't know when he'd done it but the water was off.

"Towels. Need to dry off. Water ruins silk." He laughed.

"I believe this silk is a little beyond such worries." I didn't question him again as he began crawling across the bed to lay me on it.

He nuzzled my legs apart with his face, sliding his hands up the inside of both thighs until I was spread as wide as I could get. His eyes were locked on my most private of parts, a low moan vibrating up his throat. He rolled his eyes up to mine as he leaned in slowly, so slowly. My heart worked overtime where my lungs failed completely as he flattened his tongue and slowly licked from hole to clit. I shuddered for him and then his mouth moved over me, kissing me like he had my mouth. Not very many men could make oral sex feel like a make out session, but he did. He was all tongue and lips as he explored every inch of me. He licked and sucked every part of me into his mouth until I was nearly mad with the sensual overload, fingers clawing at the bed, searching for anything to hold onto. One second he was kissing me the next his mouth locked around my clit, tongue and lips feeding at it like he was trying to eat me. I cried out and my legs spasmed as the first mini-orgasm swept over me. I was about to beg him for more when between one lick and the next the pleasure exploded, bowing my body off the bed. I threw my head back and screamed his name, thighs trembling beneath his hands as wave after wave of pleasure racked me. It felt like as long as his move moved against me I'd just keep coming. When he finally stopped I flopped bonelessly back onto the bed like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. His tongue dove into me and I cried out, writhing as aftershocks coursed through me. He growled and then his mouth was feeding at mine, a sound echo of what he had done between my legs. With the flavor of me on his lips and the orgasm so fresh I moaned as another mini-orgasm came and went.

"Look at me." I opened my eyes as far as they would go, which was roughly half-way. He moved back so that I could see down the lines of our bodies, see him lift my hips with a hand under my ass, improving the angle a second before he began to slip inside of me. "Don't look away."

I made little noises of pleasure, watching as he slid almost painfully slowly inside of me. When he was in as far as he could go we both cried out. He pulled out and then slowly in. He did that a few times before he suddenly switched to a shallow but quick rhythm, hitting that spot close to my entrance. Normally I couldn't get off from that spot but he was wide, so incredibly wide and this was one of those times that proved width could be just as impressive as length. I tried to roll my hips, find a rhythm of my own to match his but his hands gripped my hips, holding me passive. It didn't take long before I raked my nails down his back and screamed my pleasure to the ceiling. I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to urge him to go faster but he was set on maintaining a slow pace. I was about to protest when he found a new rhythm, one that was slower but deep. He was slow until he was about to bottom out and then he added a little extra oomph and rotation to his hips that managed to hit the spot deep inside me. I cried out as he topped off each thrust a thicker, headier pleasure filling me drop by drop. The orgasm came out of nowhere, hitting me so suddenly with so much force that Zero groaned as he strained to hold my hips still beneath him. I was still screaming my release when he suddenly switched his rhythm again, this time to an alternating stroke between hard, fast and deep to shallow and quick, switching between the spot deep inside me to the one he'd hit first. The combo sent me flying into another orgasm so that one could hardly be separated from the other. My body bucked and seized beneath him but he wasn't done with me. He reared back, throwing his head back as he shouted and then he let go of his control. He thrust into me hard, harder, harder. His hands on my hips angled me so that every thrust hit that special spot deep inside me that was almost pain. His breath left him on moans, mine leaving me on shouts of pleasure. He threw his head back, mouth wide, fangs gleaming as he screamed, body crashing into mine, showing me that even when I thought he'd lost control he hadn't. I cried out one final release, bucking and clawing at the bed.

He collapsed over me, barely catching himself in a push up position above me. Instead of pulling out of me and moving to the side he simply grabbed me and rolled so that I laid on his chest, an echo of this morning. We lay there for a while until our world reformed. His fingers trailed lazy circles along my side. I was the one that moved to the side, making us both squirm again as we parted. He rolled onto his side so that I faced his chest, running his fingers through my hair. I smiled at him and I saw in his eyes what I wanted him to say. I wanted him to say it. Please, say it. He opened his mouth. _He's going to say it. I just know it!_ Maybe he would have too, except just then his phone rang. It sounded dull, like it was buried under a crap ton of things. If we didn't have super hearing I doubt either of us would have even heard it. He groaned, kissed me quickly on the lips and rolled three times across the bed, falling over the edge. He thudded onto the floor with a grunt. I erupted into laughter which only got worse when he began cursing under his breath, throwing clothes, shoes, torn blankets and a towel over his shoulder as he rooted around for his phone. The ring tone stopped for only a second before it started again.

"Aha!" I was still laughing as he flicked open his razor phone. "Yeah?"

"What time is it?...Oh shit...Good...No. I'm fine...Yes, I'll be in training tomorrow...No, this isn't going to be a regular occurrence...Okay, great. Thanks for the update...Bye." He snapped the phone shut and stood from his position on the floor to sit on the bed a mile wide grin stretching his face.

"Guess what time it is." I smiled at him.

"It couldn't possibly be that late in the evening. Maybe...twelve? One at the most?" His grinned widened and my eyes bugged. "Nooooooo...what time is it?!" I sat up as he laughed.

"It's almost seven-thirty. The sun is about to set...again."

"Again?" I looked up at the ceiling as I did mental math, so _not_ my strong suit. "Okay, I left Ruka, Takuma and Hanabusa about an hour after sunrise, so that was like...around seven and you said it's almost seven-thirty and the sun is about to set, again." I took a moment. "Again?" He nodded. When I finally did the calculations my eyes bugged out. "Nooooo! You couldn't mean-"

"Yep!" He laughed.

"Holy shit!" He was laughing so hard he could only nod. His phone rang again and he had to hand it to me because he was still laughing. I flicked it open without checking the caller ID smiling and shaking my head at him.

"Hello?" There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end followed by silence. "Heello?"

"I can't believe he was right." I frowned.

"Takuma?" He was quiet, not answering me. I checked the caller ID. Takuma's number wasn't a saved contact in Zero's phone but I recognized the number and new it was his.

"Oh god, he's going to be pissed." I don't think I'd ever heard Takuma curse.

"Takuma what are you talking about?"

"Have you checked the time? Do you know how long you've been gone?" I swallowed hard.

"Close to thirty-six hours. I should have checked in with someone. I'm-"

"You're damn right you should have checked in with someone! You have no idea, none whatsoever of the-" He cut himself off, an even mix of fear and anger twisting his voice into something I'd never heard from the characteristically easy-going aristocrat.

"Takuma?" He mumbled something I didn't catch under his breath.

"Kaname is searching the dorm for you. It won't be long now before he finds you and he's going to be pissed. If I were you I'd get Zero out of there. Consider yourself warned." The phone clicked in my ear and I dropped it on the bed.

"Fuck." I mumbled. I looked over at Zero as I sprang to my feet. "Did you hear that?" He nodded.

"Kaname shit-storm coming our way. Do we have an evacuation plan?" Just then someone banged on the door. Zero and I looked at each other. Fuck! I really didn't want him to see us together, especially reeking of sex in the room we'd destroyed.

"Yeah." I motioned to the window with my head. "You go out the window." He raised an eyebrow.

"YUKI!" Yup. That was definitely Kaname at the door. We both looked at the door then back to each other. Zero shrugged.

"I've heard worse plans." He began scrambling through the cloth on the floor, searching for his clothes. He shrugged the jacket on but was still fumbling for his pants. I began scrambling around searching for my own clothes.

"YUKI! OPEN THIS DOOR! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! I CAN SMELL YOU!" I found his Hakama and threw them at him. Zero was stumbling into them as the door quaked and shuddered with the force of Kaname banging on it.

"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!" I whirled to Zero.

"Go! You have to go! If he sees you right now I'm not sure what he'll do!" Zero threw himself in a roll over the bed, grabbing his phone in his hand. He snatched his sword off the floor, kissed me quick on the lips.

"Be careful!" He was a blur as he moved and was half-way out the window when the door splintered. I crouched and covered my head as the splinters rained down. Kaname waltzed into the room, the heat of his rage preceding him, crawling along my skin. I stood, pulling my shorts up as I did, quickly fastening them. Kaname eyed the movement and the rage in his eyes gleamed.

"You were with him, weren't you?" I plucked my shirt off the floor, putting it on and buttoning it in record time. I took a deep breath, looking him directly in the eyes while I answered.

"Why are you asking me when you already know the answer?" His hands balled into fists at his sides and his eyes squeezed tight shut.

"Say it. I want to hear you say it." His voice was squeezed tight with rage, quiet, otherwise he'd start yelling. I was familiar with the feeling. I put my hands on my hips and looked at the floor, saying a quick prayer for strength before standing straight and squaring my shoulders.

"Fine. Yes. I was with Zero." He stared at me for a moment, speechless I think, before he started to walk into the room. He stopped at the foot of the bed, staring at it as he spoke.

"I knew I had hurt you and was ready to get on my plane tonight. I gave you your space and, as much as I wanted to, didn't seek you out for fear of what you might say, how you might react." He scoffed and shook his head. "Then I hear you've been missing since you left our room. Have you any idea how scared I was?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I should have-"

"I'm not finished!" He whirled and his eyes were scarlet, face flushed with his rage, a unique feat amongst vampires. "You see, the thing is, this dorm was under a constant perimeter surveillance and no one saw you leave, so you had to be inside somewhere. Then I knew." He took a step toward me. "I asked after Zero and what do you know? No one had seen him either." He looked around the room before settling on me again. "I don't know how Cross did it but these rooms are good quality. One-hundred percent sound-proof and _mostly_ smell proof. But I could smell your _sex_ as soon as I rounded the corner. You might be able to fool the ears, but the nose is different." He made sex sound absolutely filthy. His eyes turned nasty, voice nearly slithering with his rage and disgust. "Did you enjoy fucking him, Yuki? Did it feel good?" I didn't want to hurt him so I didn't answer, which was the wrong response. "DID IT?" I stared unflinchingly into his eyes and let the truth set me free, or damn me to hell.

"Yeah. It felt good to be with a man that I could just let myself go with. Yes. It felt good to be able to not have to hide myself and just fuck. Satisfied?" My voice was surprisingly calm as I spoke but my heart hurt as I watched Kaname's eyes go wide, frantic with something close to desperation as he flicked his gaze around the room, like he was searching for words. When his eyes setled back on me they were livid.

"You ran into his arms when you had mine." He almost vibrated with his rage. "You... _WHORE_!" He screamed the last at me. My own rage flooded through me so fast I actually stumbled from it. I pointed my finger at him and stepped forward.

" _You_ don't get to call me that! _You_ are the one who encouraged the sleazy politics. _You_ -"

"You have seen how necessary these 'sleazy politics' are!"

"Yeah. I have. Which is why I can't really hold that over your head." He lifted his chin and looked down his nose at me.

"So what else are you going to throw in my face?"

"How about the three day sexathon you and Ruka went on? Or the six month long affair you two had that only ended when you couldn't keep it up for me! What about the fact that you broke her heart to try and appease me?"

"BUT I DON'T _LOVE_ HER!" I shook my head and smiled sadly at him.

"That makes it worse."

"How? How does that make it worse? I don't love her. You don't have to compete for my affection because I love _you!_ But _you_ love Zero, I've competed for your affections since I realized how divided your heart was!" I shook my head and scoffed at him.

"You may be blind, Kaname, but I am not. You think I don't see the way your eyes follow her? I know you still want her and I have made my peace with the fact that yes, I have your heart but I don't have your body."

"Then why even bring it up?"

"Because it pisses me off! It is the most frustrating thing I have ever had to deal with!" He shook his head.

"Yuki-" I held up a hand and shook my head.

" _I'm_ not done, Kaname. You will listen to me now. I have sat by and shared you with politicians and split your affections with another woman for half a fucking year, it's just a cruel twist of fate that it should be Ruka. I never once said anything about your union or the fact that you couldn't get it up for me. I didn't ask you to stop consorting about with her. You made that decision on your own."

"Yuki-"

"I said I am not finished, Kaname." I stopped and glared at him, let him see the rage in my eyes. "I on the other hand have taken only political lovers, never indulging elsewhere. Where do you get off calling me a whore? I'd really like to know." I waited and I don't think he would have answered if he didn't realize I wasn't going to break first. I could wait here all night if I had to. Patience was one of the virtues taught to me by politics.

"I was-" He shook his head and scrubbed at his face with his hands. "I let my anger consume me and spoke rashly. I apologize." I nodded, accepting his apology at face value. People often said things in anger that they didn't mean. He took a step towards me and I held up a hand, stopping him.

"Apology accepted. However, I have one question I want you to answer." A look of confusion settled over his face.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking questions here?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Unless you want to know what positions we fucked in I'd say your time for asking questions is over." He seemed to seriously contemplate my words before nodding, face set in hard, angry lines.

"Ask your question." It just rolled out of me.

"Why can't you get past my scars? Am I so disfigured that you cannot even bare to see me naked?" His mouth opened and closed several times before he raked his hand through his hair and paced a small circle. I cocked my head as I watched him. He rarely displayed such outward signs of discomfort. I smiled slightly. He stopped.

"Why do you smile?" I shrugged.

"You're uncomfortable." He rolled his shoulders as if trying to ease or shift some tension.

"Why does that make you smile?" I shrugged again. He shook his head and began pacing again. Maybe his inability to keep an erection grated on him as well. Good. I felt no sympathy for him in that moment.

"Answer my question, please." He made some hissing noise and whirled to face me, rage stretching the handsome lines of his face into something fiercely frightening.

"You will wait." I raised my eyebrows.

"I think I have waited long enough." He shouted in frustration.

"GOD, YUKI! Why are you making this so fucking difficult!?" My anger exploded out from me on a very small wave of magic.

"JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, GODDAMMIT!" The hair on his body stood up, even the hair on his head, as my anger literally crackled through the air.

"Fine! You want to know that every one of the scars on your body marks for me a time when I failed to protect you? Does it make you all warm and tingly inside to know that when I see them I can't stand myself? Is that what you wanted to hear?" I stared at him as he breathed hard from his outburst. "Every one of those marks is my fault!" He fell quiet and stared at the floor while I watched him. I stared at him for so long, thinking. He couldn't get a boner for me because he blamed himself for my scars?

"Say something, Yuki." His voice was soft with pleading. I blinked in silence at him. What could I say? What was left to say? "Yuki, please. Talk to me." Now he wanted me to talk to him. I almost laughed but bit it back at the last second. Mustn't poke fun at his wounds. I finally thought of something to say.

"I have tried to blame you for the things that I've seen, the people we've lost, all the pain and the tears. I have tried, Kaname. Believe me, I've tried." His eyes welled with tears and I had to look away as my heart clenched tight. I couldn't watch him cry. "But none of this is your fault. You didn't choose this life. _I_ was the one who chose to stay at your side when I picked you. _I_ chose to join you, knowing full well what I was doing. The fault is mine, not yours. It was _my_ decision, _not_ yours. So stop playing that woe is me card because I do not pity you. We're in this shit together so suck it up, buttercup! Stop your whining and bitching because I don't want to hear it. If I can do it why can't you?" His mouth hung open in shock before he closed it.

"I have lived much longer than you, Yuki. I'm tired." He shook his head and stared down at the floor and I kind of just wanted to stroll over and slap the piss out of him. The urge was so strong I had to take a step back before I actually did it.

"You lived for what? Twenty years nearly ten thousand years ago? Yes. Technically you've 'lived' for a long time but you literally slept most of it away. You had ten thousand years of undisturbed slumber. So, nice try, Kaname, but I think it's time you woke the fuck up. Stop being such a mopey dope." Again his mouth hung open with shock so pure I had to laugh.

"When did you start speaking so bluntly, Yuki?" I laughed harder. You'd think no one had ever called him on his bullshit before, which was very likely since he _was_ vampire royalty.

"I've always been kind of blunt, you just never noticed." Because I'd never needed to talk this way to him until recently. I shook the rest of the laughter off and got serious. "Look, if you want to lay with Ruka I am fine with that. I just ask that you not break her heart when she wears it so openly on her sleeve." He stared long and hard at me. He turned to face the bed again, staring at it as if he was carrying on a conversation with it that I couldn't hear, before he gingerly sat on the edge of it.

"Yes, I do still desire her. When I saw her dressed in that costume-" He shook his head and smiled. "Who was she dressed as anyway?" I grinned.

"I believe she was dressed as Jill Valentine from the fifth game in a series called Resident Evil."

"Jill Valentine." He mumbled the name and shivered. "Your idea?" He looked up at me then. I smiled and shook my head.

"Hers." His eyebrows raised and the look of incredulity on his face almost set me laughing again. He looked away from me back to the bed.

"She looked..." He seemed unable to find the words so I helped him.

"Sinfully sexy?" Even I thought she had looked like a walking, talking wet dream. His head whipped around with a look close to shock. "What? I've tasted my fair share of women since we began this political campaign." A flash of mischief gleamed in his eyes.

"Have you...acquired the taste for women, Yuki?" Had I? My first time with a woman was awkward but I didn't recall ever having shied away or hesitated. No. In fact, I could recall a few occasions where I had lusted after the women more than the men and more than once I had found myself watching Ruka as she moved around me for no particular reason. The woman was undeniably sexy. Maybe I had. Or maybe I'd always enjoyed the company of women more than I'd let myself believe, or the occasion for sex had never risen. I shrugged and looked him in the eyes as I answered him.

"Maybe." I saw that dark gleam in his eyes spark to life before he averted his gaze back to the bed.

"Yes, I lust for her. I thought I'd one day be free from this spell but I no longer believe that."

"Then take her to your bed if she'll allow it." Though I doubted she would deny him. He fell completely still and contemplated it for so long I thought that maybe he hadn't heard me. Finally he answered me.

"No. I will not take Ruka to my bed." He stood and faced me. I braced myself for his next words, seeing the determination on his face. "Just as you will not take Zero to your bed again." I raised an eyebrow at him while my heart stuttered at the thought of never having Zero again.

"You would damn us both to a life of chastity then?" He frowned.

"We would have each other." I rolled my eyes and paced to the window.

"You have not heard what I've said. There can be nothing between us, you desire Ruka and cannot maintain an erection long enough for intercourse to be possible between us. I will no longer shield myself and deny myself the pleasures I deserve." I heard him move toward me and moved so that I was far away and facing him.

"I will not have Zero in your bed, Yuki. Do you hear me? This is not negotiable." The cold edge of anger was leaking back into his voice but my own rage was there to calm me as well.

"I will not deny my heart what it desires when you would not deny your body it's carnal pleasures, nor did I ever ask you to do so. Why do you ask me to do this?"

"I do not ask for there is no answer here but mine. I _will not_ share your heart with another man." My rage spiked and a wind blew through the room that was strong enough that Kaname had to grip the bedpost to regain his balance. I decided in that moment that regardless of what Kaname said there would be no words he could say that would change my mind. If you couldn't stand up for love then what could you stand for?

"I will not be bullied, Kaname. Not by you or anyone else."

"You can be pissed but you are my _wife_ and on this my decision is final!" He yelled it over the wind ripping through the room. My heart squeezed tight and tears once again burned up the back of my throat.

"I love you, Kaname. I do. So, I'm asking, please, do not do this." He shook his head and pushed against the wind, taking several steps forward.

"I love you too, Yuki. I always have. But just as you will not accept anything less than what you deserve, nor will I, and I _deserve_ to have a wife that loves me, only me." I bit my lower lip as the first tears streamed down my face and were whipped away into the wind emanating from me. I shook my head.

"I don't think I can do what you want me to, even if _I_ wanted to. I'm sorry Kaname but I can't."

"Won't. You _won't_. What you keep forgetting is that I'm not giving you an option here." My stomach dropped into my feet and it was beginning to get harder to breathe.

"Please don't." The words were a whispered plea that he probably couldn't hear. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"You will finish here at the academy and leave everything behind you, including Zero. If further politics here are required _I_ will attend to them." I shook my head, my rage and heartbreak helping me square my shoulders as I glared into his eyes.

"No." That one word held so much defiance and weight that it echoed on the wind. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Yuki, I will do whatever is necessary to guarantee that Zero stays out of your bed."

"You can take him from my bed, but you can't take him from my heart." I cocked my head. "But I guess since you can't please me no one else will, huh? Can't have him giving me what you can't, right?" The challenge in my voice rang clear and his face mottled with rage.

"Yuki, so help me, god-"

"So help you god _what_? What are you going to do, Kaname? You going to take me from here kicking and screaming?" I narrowed my eyes in open challenge and defiance. "Go ahead and try. I can assure you you'll find I am much harder to subdue now than I was five years ago." His face crumbled, pain creasing that handsome face.

"Don't make me hurt you. Please don't make me have to hurt you, Yuki." I could hear the regret in his voice but it was the determination just under it that broke my heart.

"I'm not _making_ you do anything, Kaname. Everything you do is by your own choice." He nodded, eyes wide as he stared at the wall just next to me, not meeting my eyes or even looking at me.

"I am packed and will be leaving the academy before the night is over." He turned from me, walking toward the door. "I just have to take care of something before I go." I nodded, though he couldn't see it. He paused in the doorway, looking at me over his shoulder.

"I love you, Yuki. Remember that." Those words held so much regret, sadness and an edge of finality like he had made his mind up. I opened my mouth to ask him...ask him what? If this was the last time I saw him? Could I live my life never seeing Kaname again? My heart seized in my chest.

"Kaname!" I called after him but he was already gone. I ran out into the hallway and at the far end of it I could see Hanabusa and Senri, staring down the long length of carpet and suits of armor at me as if they knew I'd be there. I began jogging towards them, bare feet squishing into the plush carpet. I stopped in front of them.

"Where did he go?" They both pointed down the hallway to their left. Was it a coincidence that the walls were painted a deep red or was I just over analyzing? I was moving before I had time to think about it.

"Lady Yuki!" Senri called after me.

"My queen!" Hanabusa this time. I ignored them and kept running. "YUKI!" I stopped dead in my tracks. Hanabusa never called me by just my name. I turned to face him, seeing them both jogging over to me. Busa stopped about three feet back and held my phone out to me.

"There is a call waiting for you that you'll want to take." I stared at the phone then shot a glance down the hallway before turning to face him fully.

"Who is it?" He waggled the phone at me. I growled and snatched it from him.

"Who is this?" I nearly growled into the phone.

"Yuki it's me. We have no time for pleasantries." I frowned.

"Dai?"

"Yes, it's me. Now listen. There is a massive incursion of vampire hunters coming your way and they're coming fast. I'd say you have two hours or less before they're at your gate but they won't knock before entering if you catch my drift." I nodded even though he couldn't see it. Perfect fucking timing! This couldn't have happened later?

"How did you get this information?"

"A very reliable informant tipped me off and now I'm extending you the heads up. Whatever you're going to do it has to be fast. Time is not your friend, Yuki."

"How many qualifies as a mass incursion?"

"I don't have numbers but from my understanding a small army is about to kick in your front door."

"Fuck."

"Yeah that about sums it up."

"Thanks for the heads up. I gotta go."

"Yes you do." I was about to hang up when Dai called my name.

"Yuki!" I put the phone back to my ear.

"Yes?" I couldn't help the frustration in my voice.

"Try not to make a mess we can't clean up." I laughed, a harsh sound.

"I'll do my best." I hung up before he could say anything else and shoved my phone into my pocket.

"You both heard that?" They nodded in unison. Good. No need for explanation.

"Hanabusa, you're in charge of evacuating the students and faculty. Get them out quickly with as little incident as possible. They cannot know what is about to happen. Only use drastic measures if absolutely necessary. I don't care how else you do it, just get it done." He dipped his head.

"Yes, my queen." He turned and moved down the hallway at a blur.

"Senri, you're in charge of informing our people. Make sure everyone is armed and up to speed on what is about to happen. Get a perimeter up and running only around the Star dorm, call all forces to me. We will hold our ground here."

"Why the Star dorm, my lady?"

"If we are all here they'll be forced to come to us. If this dorm is destroyed that is fine, it would be the more acceptable loss. Find all the emergency exits and make sure _everyone_ knows exactly where they are. If I have to sound the retreat I don't want anyone fumbling for an exit. You have about an hour and a half. Go!" He bowed his head and was gone so fast the backlash of his speed whipped my hair back from my face. I turned and ran down the hallway at full tilt, so when Ruka came around the next corner I had to jump to the side to avoid crashing into her at warp speed which sent me into the wall and she slid to a stop so fast she wound up on her ass. I hugged the legs of a giant suit of armor to steady it and keep it from falling over from my impact with the wall next to it. And this is exactly why that old cliché of not running in the halls would always be in effect.

"Yuki, I just heard. What do you want me to do?" Wow. That _was_ fast. It looks like I picked the right man for the job, though my choices had been slim, Senri worked fast just as I'd told him. I liked that. I righted myself, noting the slight smirk peeking at the corners of her mouth. Admittedly, my collision was kind of funny, given the circumstances.

"We need to get Kaname out of here. Right now."

"And you?" I shook my head.

"This is my academy and my people I will not abandon them to die for a ship without it's captain." Of course the academy was more a political project for me but I had many fond memories here. My father though did captain this ship and I wouldn't see it sink without a fight.

"But-" I shook my head, holding a hand up for silence.

"No. Ruka, I have made my decision. I'm staying, but Kaname cannot. If one of us falls the other may still carry on. If we are both here we could very well both perish. I cannot allow that." She analyzed me with wide eyes and if those gorgeous orbs seemed a little watery I'd just attribute it to the chaos of the situation. She bowed her head, a deep, neck bending motion. When she lifted her head her face was set into the stern lines of business casual.

"I will follow you, my lady." I smiled and turned to begin running down the hallway again. Then I realized I had no idea where I was going. It wasn't like Kaname had told me where he was going. I stopped at the next hallway intersection looking forst left, then right. Would he have gone back to his room?

"You don't know where he is." Ruka didn't bother asking and I didn't bother lying, let alone answering.

I was about to turn down the left corridor when my skin erupted in goose bumps with the feeling of magic crawling along it. Kaname's magic. I didn't question it I just turned and ran down the opposite hallway. I ran as if the earth itself gave me speed. Ruka kept up, stumbling only once. We were both breathless as I threw the door open and froze as Zero's scream sent my heart into my throat. The magic in this room was so thick it left no room for air and my lungs burned in rebellion. Zero was on his knees, a purple aura around his head where Kaname's hands held him. Kaname had his head tipped back, eyes closed, face furrowed in concentration. _"I will do whatever is necessary to guarantee that Zero stays out of your bed."_ I suddenly knew exactly what he was doing and my emotions exploded, swirling inside me like a kaleidoscope of chaos so that one was nearly inseparable from the next.

"KANAME, NOOOOO!" I moved without thinking. I moved faster than you'd be able to blink, planting my hands into his side and shoving. He was airborne and crashing into the wall across the room as I fell to my knees, catching Zero in my arms as he began to fall to the floor. His body was limp in my arms. I squeezed him tight to my chest, rocking him.

"Zero? Zero, look at me. Please open your eyes." My chest constricted, lungs burning. My vision blurred as I stared down at the man in my arms. "Please." It came out as a whisper. Zero's eyes flared open as wide as his mouth as he sucked in a huge lungful of air, spine bowing, hands gripping my upper arm in a painful death grip. I laughed, tears cascading down my face as I pulled him closer. His eyes locking on mine, face desperate. His mouth moved and I think he was trying to tell me something but I couldn't comprehend it. A single tear slipped from the corner of that lavender eye before he threw his head back and screamed. I knew that scream, was familiar with the way heartbreak carried on such a sound. Once you've heard that sound you'll never mistake it for anything else. His eyes rolled back into his head and then he fell unconscious. The room was silent except for my tears and quiet sobbing. I gently laid him down on the floor, running my fingers through his hair, staring at the peaceful, blankness of that face that had haunted my dreams, plagued my conscious. I leaned in and placed a chaste but lingering kiss on the soft, pink fullness of his lips that only a little earlier had so lovingly kissed me back. I stood, still staring down at him.

"Did you just do what I think you did?" I could hear Kaname swallow from where I was.

"Yes." My voice was squeezed tight and low with the virulence of my emotion as I spoke and ever word sounded dangerous.

"What did you take?" He was quiet for a moment before answering. I stared down at Zero, refusing to look away. Peaceful. He looked so peaceful.

"I can't steal or hide emotions but-"

"What did you take, Kaname?" I was pretty sure I knew what he'd taken but I needed to know for sure. I needed to hear him say it.

"I took his memories of you." The world spun off it's axis and my heart broke, it's broken pieces falling into my stomach.

"How?" I almost choked on the word.

"I asked you not to make me do this. I didn't want to hurt you. You-"

"HOW!?" There were so many memories between the two of us. How could you take away ten years of memories? How was it possible to delete someone from a person's brain?

"I substituted your presence in his memory with another, completely erased the last three days from his mind..."

"And?" He sighed.

"And he might believe that the woman he loved was murdered by a level E." I whipped my head up and looked at him with wide eyes, actually staggering a step from the news. He had not only taken my Zero from me but had killed this imaginary love he'd replaced me with, giving him nothing but more grief to fuel the rage of his hatred for vampires.

"Undo it. Right now! Bring your as back over here, lay on hands and undo this!" He shook his head slowly, face a tight blankness.

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Once done I can't undo it. If it is to be undone only he can do it, but I doubt he'll want to." No. He wouldn't. He wouldn't want anything to do with me or any other vampire.

"Have you any idea what you've done?" The panic in my voice was thick enough to walk on. He took as step toward me, hand outstretched. "Dont!" He froze and my rage roared through me. "HAVE YOU _ANY_ IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID!?" I screamed at him, a roar of sound that made him take back the step. He dipped his head, not taking his eyes off me.

"I asked you, begged you. You wouldn't hear it. I told you I'd do anything to keep him from your bed. I meant it." His eyes flicked down to the man at my feet and I wanted to scream at him to look away, that he didn't deserve to look at Zero. "This way he'll never come to your bed again. He'll never come to _any_ vampires bed again." I stared back down at Zero and my heart broke again. Kaname had stolen his happiness and replaced it with a life of hatred and grief. I tried to imagine never seeing him smile again and realized I'd do anything to see him happy.

"Undo it. Please, undo it. I'll leave. I'll leave it all and never come back. Take it back! Just take it back! Please, Kaname just take it back! Please-" My words cracked under the weight of desperation and heartbreak, tears pouring down my face until I nearly choked on them. As painful as it was to imagine a life without Zero I would. I would leave the entirety of Japan behind me if Zero could get his heart back because sure as I breathed now that was exactly what Kaname had stolen. You can't live without a heart and I wanted more than anything for Zero to live, _really_ live. The pain on Kaname's face was real and it really pissed me off.

"I know you mean that. I can hear your heart breaking and I'm so, so sorry, but I can't." I was blind and deaf to the world around me as _my_ world spun out of control, coming to a screaming halt somewhere I'd never thought to return. I moved in a blur, not thinking just letting my emotions drive the bus. I don't really remember touching him but Kaname was suddenly flying across the room. He hit the wall beside the door so hard I could see the hallway through the hole in the plaster, the metal beam beneath bent, the crack from his impact trailing from floor to ceiling. I stalked toward him, swaying to the tune of my anger. I hated him. He'd hurt me. Worse, he'd hurt my Zero, stolen him from me. _Never again._ I smiled at those sweet words as they danced through my mind.

Kaname groaned as he rolled onto his feet. His eyes widened when he saw me coming for him as econd before I bounced him off that bent support beam again, snatching him by the throat with my left hand and slamming him into it once more, decking him with my right hand. I hit him three times, faster than you could breathe before letting him go and uppercutting him. His head rocked back and slammed into the beam as I planted a side kick in his chest that sent him through the beam, spiraling across the hallway to crash into yet another wall. I don't remember moving through the wall but I must have because I suddenly had him by the throat up against the wall dangling two feet from the floor. I was floating again. Huh, imagine that. His lip was busted open and torn, probably from his own fangs. His eye was swollen the white of it shot through with red where I'd busted some blood vessels. His hands gripped my wrist.

"Yuki-" I slammed him into the wall hard enough that his eyes rolled into his head from the impact before using my unnatural strength to throw him into the floor beneath us. A suit of armor toppled on top of him. Which he clumsily brushed away as he struggled to pull himself away from me. I watched him from where I levitated on a wind of my own creation as he slowly stumbled to his feet. He propped himself against the wall behind him, slightly hunched in on himself. I dropped back to the floor in a crouch. He shook his head then winced.

"I won't fight you, Yuki." His voice was thick with the blood pouring from the corners of his mouth. I smiled. That was fine with me.

"Then you'll die." And in that moment I knew without a single doubt that I would kill him. I palmed the fallen sword dropped from the suit of armor and ran him through before he could fully comprehend what I'd just said. I shoved the sword into him, through the wall until the hilt dug into his flesh. I somersaulted backwards landing once again in a crouch, staring at him as he gasped for breath. His feet dangled several inches off the floor, hands gripping the hilt as if he could pull the sword from his own chest cavity. He could, but it was physically impossible for him to do it in a single motion. The sword was unrealistically long and unwieldy so even if he did choose to yank it out the process would be incredibly painful. He thumped his head back into the wall, closing his eyes, pain twisting his face as blood poured down his body. I had impaled him only inches away from his heart so I knew he was badly wounded.

"Can't...kill me..." He gurgled around his own blood. He cried out as he pulled on the sword, moving it marginally. I grinned and knew from the look on his face that it was a thing of nightmares.

"I guess I'll enjoy trying then won't I?" I grabbed a piece of the fallen armor and tore it until it was a flat, torn hunk of metal. His eyes widened right before I threw it at him, burying the thing so far into his shoulder that only a small piece of it protruded. He cried out. I stood and was swaying towards him when Ruka suddenly appeared in my path. She held her arms out to either side as if she would bar my way. I cocked my head at her, a curious look stretching my face.

"You would stand in my way? For him?" She swallowed hard and nodded. I could see the fear in her eyes but I could also see determination...love.

"I would stand in your way for _you._ If you do happen to kill him you would be hunted till death for regicide. Everyone would be searching for you. Your own guards, us, your friends and allies might have to _kill_ you." Tears of her own trailed down her face and I realized she had been crying for some time now. "Please, please don't make us have to do that." Her plea was soft but heartfelt.

I wondered if she was really crying for me or for the man she loved possibly falling by my hand. That thought stopped me. _"...any act of murder starts a vicious cycle of vengeance that might never end. They killed Shizuka's love so she killed the ones I loved and in turn I killed countless others who at one time or another had people who loved them. It never ends. One day I'll kill the wrong person and someone they love will claim my life in vengeance."_ Zero's words stopped me. If I killed Kaname because he'd stolen Zero from me then Ruka might have to kill me, either because I killed the man she loved or because duty required her. Then one day someone else might kill her for killing me or somebody she was commanded to kill because I wasn't here to command her otherwise. A vicious cycle indeed. How could I do to Ruka the very same thing Kaname had done to me? I walked towards her and she stood her ground. I smelled and tasted her fear, heard her heart racing, saw it in her eyes and still she stood her ground. I stopped just in front of her. Her bravery astounded me. I admired her for it. I placed a hand upon her cheek and tears softly flowed down my face once again.

"I pray that one day, when I need it the most, my bravery will stand as boldly by my side as yours." I smiled sadly at her before leaning in and placing a lingering kiss on the opposite cheek. I felt her body relax marginally, smelled the gratitude coming off her in waves. I stared into her eyes and minutely, almost imperceptibly dipped my head before moving around her. I grabbed the sword hilt sticking out of Kaname and wrenched it, twisting it as far as my wrist would turn. He cried out then gasped sharply as I ripped it free of him and the wall. He fell to the floor in a bloody heap. I turned from him, took a deep breath, closing my eyes while I just took a moment to breathe.

When I opened my eyes I scanned the hallway and wasn't surprised to see we had a small audience. Hanabusa's eyes were wide as he stared at me. Takuma and Senri's faces were difficult to read but it was the slight smirk at the corner of Takuma's mouth that intrigued me. Behind them stood Rima, face twisted in outrage and anger. To the other side of me stood about six of the newer guards, the names of which I didn't remember except for one. Twister, we didn't know his real name, was staring at me with an openly, pleasantly amused look on his face, arms crossed, casually propped against the wall as if watching his queen beat the shit out of the king was a common occurrence. I turned away from them all back to Kaname. He was pushing his hands against the hole I'd left in his chest, trying to staunch the blood flow. I crouched next to him, sword still in hand and felt an icy calm settle over me.

"You have destroyed the life of one of my longest standing friends, broke my heart and hurt me in ways that no amount of physical pain I could dish out would ever compare to." He stared at me, face contorted in pain but he wasn't as hurt as what I wished him to be.

"I'm...sorry, Yuki. I'd...take it...back if I...could." His voice was thick and he coughed hard enough that he had to lean over to spit a large mouthful of blood onto the floor. Did I feel guilty? Not one fucking bit.

"You have made it abundantly clear that there is no fixing what you have broken. So, allow me to finish breaking it." He rolled his head to face me as I spoke, eyes filling with tears that no longer moved me. I felt not a twinge of emotion in the wintry stillness inside me. "You really should appreciate Ruka more. She saved your life this day because make no mistake, if she had not stopped me I would have taken you apart piece by piece, again and again if I had to until you couldn't _possibly_ come back again." His eyes flicked to the woman behind me for a moment before settling back on me, true terror in those honey-brown eyes.

"I will _never_ forgive you for what you have done today, so don't waste my time asking for my forgiveness, for you'll never get it." He swallowed hard, looked away and nodded once. "You have hurt me for the final time. Kaname Kuran you will leave this academy as soon as I finish with you and never return. You are not welcome and have no place here anymore, nor do I have a place for you in my heart any longer." His gaze jerked to mine, shock, horror, heartbreak and a slew of other emotions plain on his face but I no longer cared. When he saw this the tears came faster. "I hereby release you from my bed. You are free to pursue whomever you wish, as will I. I will, if you desire, remain your queen in title and status only. If you find another whom you would wish rule beside you I will step down and afford you that right. However, should that be your decision I will demand a...demonstration, the nature of which I have not yet decided, to prove she is a worthy successor."

"Yuki, I-"

"I will, as previously stated, confer with you on matters of great political significance and stand by your side when required, _strictly_ for political purposes. Other than that you _will_ maintain your distance."

"Yuki-"

"You have broken my heart and my trust as a partner and lover. However you have remained ever faithful and true in your role as Lord of the vampires, forever acting in the best interest of your people. I have always both admired and respected that about you." I stared into his eyes and let him see the truth behind my words. "If this ever ceases to be true no treaty, alliance, army or power, not even the gods themselves will be able to save you from my wrath. Break my trust again Kaname and I will dance in your blood before I see the fire leave your eyes. This I swear, consequences be damned." My words were cold, ringing with finality. As I stood I swear I heard what sounded like a gear shifting, as if the world was resettling after my declaration. Whatever happened after this moment was going to be affected by the decisions made this night. Kaname curled on the floor around his wound and I turned my back on the soft sobs of his misery.

"Please. Don't do this, Yuki." I spoke without turning to face him, eyes locked on the crying face of my father.

"You have damned yourself to this fate Kaname." With that I walked down the hallway, stopping ten feet back from the people I'd come to know best these last five years. I didn't even need to motion or speak, the guards on the other side of the hallway simply moved past me, standing among Busa, Takuma, Rima, Senri and my father. I looked at them all.

"We have much to do this night. I will not command any of you to stay or go. If you choose to go with Kaname I will hold no ill will against you. Knowing what is coming our way I might run if I were you too. You may run this night with the full blessing of your Lady." Some of them shuffled but they all stared at me, waiting. " _If_ you choose to stay however I will demand your loyalty and probably ask of you things you have never dreamed. It will be a very long, bloody, windy fucking ride and I will do my absolute _best_ to ensure that each and every one of you makes it through with me." I looked at the ground as I spoke my next words.

"I, and those who have been with me this far, have lost a great many friends and allies, and this is just the beginning. I ask that before you decide to stay you understand, I will not be able to save you all. Some of you will die on me." A single tear crept down my cheek as I looked up at them, taking in one face at a time as I said, " _Hear_ me when I tell you, you _might_ die. I _cannot_ promise you safety and I do not make promises I cannot keep. I _can_ promise that, our enemies will either fall under our persuasion...or they will die. There is no middle ground in this war. They are with us or they are against us and anyone who steps into our path will be cut down. No matter if you choose to go with Kaname or stay with me your purpose will remain the same. Choose and do it now before death kicks in our front gates." There was a profound silence in the hallway and everyone's eyes were on me.

As far as speeches go I probably could have done better but I couldn't have been more honest. I almost wanted to say something pretty, something motivational but I didn't. I didn't think I had pretty and inspirational in me tonight. I waited, waited for them to tell me to fuck off, to give a battle cry, to walk or run away, waited for anything. I was surprised when Ruka was the one to walk around me from where she'd stood where I'd left her. She stopped about two feet from me, drew her dagger from her belt, curling it in her fist, putting it over her heart and bowing her head before going down on one knee before me. Hanabusa and Takuma moved almost as one drawing their swords from their belts, putting them to their heart, bowing their heads and kneeling. The rest of them followed suit until everyone before me knelt with fist and weapon pressed to their heart on one knee before me. My eyes stung with tears as finally even my father, with a smile stretching that wide mouth, fell to one knee, head bowed, hand to his heart. I was speechless as I looked at them like that. _Alright. Now what?_ That annoying little voice in my head did an excellent job at pointing its finger and laughing at my ignorance. What was I supposed to do now?

"Which of you will take Kaname from Japan and stand by his side as protector?" They all lifted their heads and stared at me. I waited and Rima and several of the nameless newer faces stood. Rima stared down at Senri where he knelt still and he stared back. She wanted him to stand with her, even I saw that, but he stayed kneeling. She nodded at him and when she turned to face me her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. Two more stood and looked to me, waiting for an order. I sighed, pursed my lips and nodded at them.

"The six of you are now Kaname's personal guard and escort until or if he decides to appoint others to the task. Right now you are to do _anything_ you have to in order to get him to safety outside of Japan. You will follow this order and only upon it's completion will you then begin operating under Kaname's orders. Until then you listen to me." They all nodded. "Go now. Move swiftly and carefully. Take anyone with you that wishes to go. Do not let Kaname fall!" They nodded and hurried past me. I heard Kaname groan in pain.

"Yuki?" His voice was rough but sounded much better than it had. Damn, what a shame. I ignored him and stared at the faces left before me, particularly Takuma's. He had stood by Kaname's side for thousands of years. Why now had he chosen to leave his friend behind? I'd ask later.

"I'd swear that I gave you all tasks to do." Busa and Senri stood, bowed their heads and ran off togeter with a backlash of wind. Ruka and Takuma were all that were left before me.

"Yuki!" Again I ignored him. "Takuma?" I watched something flinch through the depths of those forest green eyes and once again wanted to know why he had chosen to stay. "Takuma?" There was twining threads of confusion, desperation and hurt when Kaname cried out for his friend. Takuma visibly flinched.

"Rima." His voice was loud without being a shout. She stopped and turned to face him. He stood and turned from me to face her in return.

"Watch out for him, okay?" She frowned at him for a second before nodding.

"I will do my best." He turned back to me as she made her way down the hall. I watched the six of them move at a rapid pace, two of them holding Kaname's weight between them as they ran, until they disappeared from sight.

"What would you have of us, my queen?" Takuma asked without a hint of irony. The answer was immediate.

"You will stay by my side for now." I was the Lady of the vampires and even though I would be leading from the front lines I knew now that risking myself the way I had been was foolish. I would take only those I trusted with me into battle but I would take them. I looked to my father who was smiling at me.

"So, you and Kaname hit a rough patch, eh?" my eyes widened, eyebrows raising and the way he so casually said it first frustrated then amused me. A rough patch. My lips widened into a smile that he echoed and then I laughed so hard I once again was in tears. I stood up, wiping my tears away as I tackle hugged him. He made a startled noise before wrapping his arms around me. I had needed that laugh. I pulled back from my father with a smile on my face, turning to Takuma.

"Your task is to take Zero to my old room in the headmaster's quarters and watch over him. Guard him and care for him." I swallowed hard and closed my eyes taking a deep breath before I spoke again. "When he wakes up he might be wild, dangerously so. If he attacks you I want you to subdue him or knock him out and restrain him if possible. If not run. Do not let him kill you. Do you hear me, Takuma?" He opened his mouth and looked as if for a moment he might protest. I watched his mouth slowly close as his eyes searched mine. Whatever he saw there must have reassured him in some way because all hint of rebellion disappeared. He nodded.

"As you wish, my queen." Is what his mouth said, but his eyes said that he knew I trusted Ruka with my body but I'd trusted him with my heart even if it was shattered. It was a gamble on trust he had not yet earned but I could think of no better way to test his loyalty. Besides, I knew and trusted Ruka by my side in battle and the look in Takuma's eyes told me I had not misplaced my trust in him. I watched Takuma turn from me and disappear into the room I had destroyed. I stared at the doorway until he appeared again, Zero cradled solidly in his arms against his chest. My heart clenched at the sight of my Zero like that.

"I will not fail you, my queen." He bowed as deeply as he could with the other man in his arms before running down the hallway. We all watched them go before I turned to face my father. I saw painted on his face a million things he wanted to say with no time to say them.

"Do you wish me to get my sword and fight beside you?" I looked into his eyes seeing there what his voice did not betray, regret and sadness. He had given up the sword when he'd founded Cross academy in order to fulfill my mother's dream of a school for both vampire and human. As far as I knew there had only been one occasion since he became headmaster in which he had temporarily forsaken that oath. He did not wish to fight, but he would, for me. All I had to do was say yes and the vampire without fangs, the greatest vampire the world had ever known would be on my side. I shook my head and smiled at him. I would not have him forsake his oath again if I could help it. He smiled back.

"So, what now?" Just then an explosion sounded in the distance, probably the front gate being blown to shit, and my smile shifted from the warmth I'd offered him into a reflection of the icy calm inside me with a much darker twist.

"Now, you go and make sure your students and faculty are safely off campus." Yes, I was aware my attempt to get my father to safety was painfully apparent. I didn't care. I'd lost enough for one day. "I get to go fend off a siege." He shifted uncomfortably at the grin on my face that accompanied the words before running down the hallway at full speed, which was still impressive even if it wasn't vampire speed. Watched him round the corner, turning around to find Ruka waiting for me. I smiled devilishly at her.

"Let's go kill some fools." She swallowed hard and nodded. My day had gone to hell in a flaming fucking hand-basket, but Zero and my father were safe...and I got to go on a killing spree. Things were looking up.

 **A/N- Holy crap. This chapter was a roller coaster of emotions. I cried, laughed, got pissed off and wanted to punch things and damn near thought I was having a heart attack at times but here it is...oh, the wonders of writing! I am sorry for those of you who are Kaname fans. I kind of destroyed him in this chapter but my heart goes out to Zero (and my girl Yuki of course). I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope to hear some feedback from you!**

 **I am sad to say that this will be the last update for this fic until I have updated my other stories, which I hope to have done rather quickly. So, read and reread, my friends! I will answer any questions, if there are any and if I can (without spoiling the plot), that are asked in reviews probably prior to the next update. Review the chapter to talk to me, otherwise, I'll see you next chapter! Ta-ta for now, lovelies! ;-D**

 **P.S. Thanks again to those who reviewed last chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- I absolutely cannot stop writing this fic. Even when I'm trying my damnedest to sleep my brain just runs wild with ideas. It's like watching a movie for the first time, I just don't want to go to sleep anymore so I can enjoy the show. Then I** _ **have**_ **to get up and write it down. It's like a sick compulsion, currently my drug of choice. Though I might variably argue that there are healthier drugs. Lol! I'm supposed to be catching my other fics up dammit, but my mind just keeps veering back to this particular story. *Shrug* The muses want what they want I guess. Whatever it takes to keep the creative juices flowing.**

 **Quick shout out to those who reviewed chapter four. Thanks to all of your who show me in a few words how much you appreciate every chapter: Eat4Fun (I** _ **loved**_ **your simple yet powerful review, So eloquent too! Lol) and davros fan (sorry buddy, I just couldn't help myself)!** **Annnnd to those of you, TaylaK11 and myra k kuran, who have expressed through lengthy reviews and conversations their support and, in some cases, demand for more. I really** _ **was**_ **supposed to be taking a break from this fic, but...meh!**

 **Uploaded well before it was supposed to be, for your consumption, by popular demand! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the fifth installment of the twisted inner workings of my mind! Enjoy.**

 **DISCLAIMER- Vulgar language, graphic violence, blah, blah, blah. I have decided to introduce something new to this fic, though not to my writing. It will not happen often but I** _ **do**_ **hope you enjoy the insight as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

I waited on the second floor balcony overlooking the foyer I had so admired not too long ago and mourned the destruction of such beauty. It truly was a terrible loss. I was ready for this but I'd be sad to see the foyer after we were through tonight.

I wore a black belt with a black buckle cinched around the waist of skintight black cargo pants tucked into black composite-toe, combat boots. My shirt was simple; a plain black, scoop neck t-shirt. The outfit was topped off with fingerless biker gloves, also black. My hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail high on my head so that the heavy weight of it bounced against the top of my ass as I moved. I looked like an assassin in training with all the monochrome and weaponry.

I wore a long, slender black blade down my spine, adeptly named Anubis, and a dagger at my lower back. Artemis was strapped to my left hip for a front cross-draw.

The Grendel P30 strapped to my outer thigh was also a flat black so that it didn't gleam in the light, giving away my position in the dark. Silver plated guns looked nice but they drew a lot of attention. The gun held thirty rounds, thirty-one if you were paranoid enough to carry one in the chamber. Tonight my gun held all thirty one. Depending on the nature of the enemies about to swarm us there might be a significant number of humans. If that was the case my P30 would be getting a lot of play, so the extra round mattered. It helped that I always used enlarged hollow point, what I so lovingly liked to refer to as man-eater bullets. I'd never seen any human move around with half of their head missing but depending on the vampire you're shooting at you might just piss them off, or you might incapacitate them for a while if you're lucky. I had an extra magazine with me. If I couldn't take care of this with sixty-one bullets and the small armory I carried on me there was a serious problem. Only Artemis and Anubis were anti-vampire weapons but I felt confident that I was armed enough for what was coming.

"My queen?" Takuma stepped in front of me, dipping his head so he could see my eyes.

"Yes, Takuma?" He smiled gently at me.

"What are you thinking so intently about?"

"My weapons." He smiled then chuckled and shook his head.

"You are not scared a bit are you?" I didn't even look at him as I answered, looking around the room to see my people well armed and in some cases, well armored.

"I am."

"You are incredibly calm. The last time I stood beside you in combat you were not so casual about it."

"The trick is to not let the fear control you."

"You sound robotic, disinterested almost as if you don't care that you're about to be neck deep in blood and gore."

"If you are scared that means you want to live. Fear will save you if you let it. Too much will kill you. I thought you'd appreciate my calm better than almost anyone else." He frowned at me and stepped back to the side of me where he'd been standing earlier. I felt the vibration of them coming closer over the ground. I stepped forward and raised my voice as I spoke to everyone.

"Whoever comes through that door is either very brave or incredibly stupid, either way their naivete has led them here. Let's show them the error of their ways! Water the ground with their blood, and show no mercy for you will get none in return! There is no statute of limitations on survival!" A battle cry roared through the room in a thunderous, though brief explosion.

A huge bang on the thick, solid wood of the front doors made them shudder. The sound of weapons being unsheathed/un-holstered was loud as people fell into fighting stances. It was incredibly quiet for a moment, the silent breath before the storm. I felt the magic in the air a second before the front door exploded, raining bits of wood and fire in the foyer. A fire ball the size of me roared through the door at the same time the windows shattered. Someone was screaming below me and I winced when a flailing, piteously screaming figure ran forward. Everyone cleared a path for him, all except one. She drew her sword and in a movement quicker than the eye could register her sword took his head. As his body fell to the floor all hell broke loose. The foyer flooded with enemies as they spilled through the busted windows and obliterated doorway.

Takuma and Ruka took one staircase a piece, dispatching those who tried to come up the stairs. My shield flared to life right as a hail of bullets descended upon me. The swirling jade of my magic radiated in small circles from where the bullets made contact, absorbing their energy, stopping them dead in their tracks leaving them to fall harmlessly to the floor.

A wet, meaty sounding explosion came from my left. Takuma held his katana in a loose, one-handed grip at his side as he slowly advanced down the stairs. I watched as one after another ran up at him only to explode in a shower of gore. Takuma's power lay in exploding matter in any form but I still found it odd that he could walk through a hoard of people raining them down on him simultaneously and still appear perfectly pristine. Ten men froze at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at the gracefully magnificent figure moving so casually through their friends with no effort at all. I admit, there was a certain level of bad-assery to Takuma's powers.

I heard terrible screams from my right and looked to see about a dozen or so people on their knees, hands covering their ears, weapons on the ground beside them. I watched in awe, like I always did, as they stood all at once, grabbing their weapons and turning down the stairs the way they had come, slaughtering their own people. Ruka's form blurred around the edges and suddenly there were two more of her and those two spawned two more a piece so that seven Rukas simultaneously walked down the stairs. I shuddered and shook my head. Her manipulation of allusion and mind control scared me. Alone Ruka and Takuma's powers were frightening. Together they were devastating. Our enemies gave a wide berth around the staircases, fearing what came down them. I would too.

I smiled as two explosions sounded from deeper within the upper levels of the house on both sides. I had ordered explosives rigged so that we'd hear it if they tried to come in from behind us and just as I'd thought they would here they came. Finally. Some action. I drew Anubis from his home along my spine, the obsidian blade held purple and blue highlights in the light of the room, the pommel warm in my hand as if he was happy to be of use. I stood squarely between the two corridors, facing the entrance to the grand foyer, trusting that my peripheral sense would alert me when I had company. I turned my head to the left, watching as a large cloud of ash and smoke rolled around the corner seconds before several men staggered out of it. They all staggered, coughing, one fell to his knees and persisted to struggle to his feet. Humans. I smiled. Perfect. I un-holstered my P30 and stalked towards them twirling Anubis in quick, perfect circles at my side. I both heard and felt the bullets fall to the floor where my shield stopped them as more men spilled from the hallway behind me. I ignored them and continued walking.

The man leaning against the right wall hacking up a lung looked up at me, eyes going wide a second before I blew his brain out the back of his skull, redecorating the pastel blue paint in a pleasant shade of gore...then the fight was on.

 **%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**

 **En Route to an airport somewhere between Aomori and Sendai**

I sat staring out the window as the pure darkness of the countryside rolled by, the mountains back-lit with the silver glow of the moon, looming in the distance like sleeping giants. Even in the dark of the night, a darkness untouched by the harsh glow of electricity the country was beautiful and yet I was unmoved. The heart that usually sat beneath my ribs was racing fast as if to compensate for the fractures running through it. It is said that a fracture is worse than a break because it takes longer to heal and my heart, the damned useless thing, still beat strong proving it wasn't broken but god it hurt. I could still hear Yuki's pleas echoing through my mind.

" _KANAME, NOOOOO!...HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID!...Undo it. Please, undo it. I'll leave. I'll leave it all and never come back. Take it back! Just take it back! Please, Kaname just take it back! Please-"_ I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes as I heard the heartbreak in her voice again, felt her rage, confusion and pain, tasted the salty, bitter flavor of her tears on the air. I wished for probably the hundredth time since I had done it that I could take it back, that I could give her back the heart I had so unkindly ripped from her chest. It was likely that Zero would go mad when he woke up among all those vampires and he would either be chained or killed. If that happened their would be no saving him and Yuki would be forever lost to me. _She's lost to you anyway, dickhead. You really think she'll take you back after you stole her man from her?_ She is mine! I'm her man! That little voice in my head laughed at me. _Not anymore you're not. She was never fully yours, you fool! Whatever you possessed of her heart is long gone from your grasp now. And it's all YOUR fault. The only thing left between you two now is titles._ NO! The windows in the back of the limo splintered and cracked as I screamed over, rebelled against the thoughts running through my head. I never meant to hurt her like that. That voice scoffed. _Yeah? Well, you did, did a bang up job of it too._

"Shut up!" I hissed under my breath. I hadn't meant to speak aloud and felt more than saw or heard Rima shift in her seat.

 _Way to go, butt cake. Let everyone else in on the fact that you're having a mental break, because there are absolutely zero documented cases throughout history of rulers losing their heads shortly after their minds, right?_ I am not losing my mind. _SO holding a convo with your subconscious in your head, that doesn't sound odd to you? Wait! Don't answer that question._ I am not going crazy. _Hey, I never said anything about crazy, more along the lines of temporary insanity, but now that you mention it, I think crazy is a more suitable term. I mean in what world would breaking Yuki's heart benefit you? Did you think she was going to thank you for it?_ His voice grew high-pitched in a mock falsetto of Yuki's voice. _"_ _Why thank you! I didn't need that heart, such a useless muscle anyway. By the way thanks for removing yourself from my concern. You know where the door is, don't let the doorknob violate you on the way out."_ Be quiet! I ground my teeth as he spoke again. _Don't you get pissy with me, buddy. I'm just saying, if I was driving this bus you might still have a wife, you fucking douche nozzle._ If you don't shut up, I swear-! _You swear, what? Unlike the situation between you and your ex-wife you can't exactly banish me to the opposite side of the globe. You could try if you'd like, but I'm pretty sure lobotomies went out of style in the early sixties. Though if you tried it yourself we probably wouldn't have to deal with this pesky heart problem anymore._ Don't you ever shut the fuck up! I growled aloud and shook my head. He laughed which grated along my nerves. _Fine. I can take a hint. I'll just root around back here in the memory box while you try to sort this yourself._ And just like that my head was mine again. I rubbed my hands over my face wincing at the sharp pain in my shoulder.

"Lord Kaname, I really would like to look at your wound." I stared blankly out the window, listening to Rima slide slowly across the seat. "May I?" Her voice sounded from right behind me. I didn't answer but I didn't stop her as she gently moved me around until she could examine my shoulder. She hissed and rolled her eyes to look up into my face. "The metal is buried deep. If we do not get this out you may heal over it and we will have to reopen the wound in order to remove it." I was absolutely silent, staring into the darkness of the limo. For a long while only the quiet hum of tires over asphalt and the purr of the engine was to be heard.

"Lord Kaname? Your wound?" The concern in her voice sounded genuine and I almost asked her why she cared so much about an asshole like me, then I figured I probably didn't want to hear the truthful answer and kept my mouth shut.

"Fine." She blinked at me in the darkness for a moment. I turned my head and stared her in the eyes. "Do what you have to, Rima." She nodded.

"May I cut the shirt off?" A small smile peaked at the corners of my lips. The shirt was totally ruined and yet she'd taken the time to ask about it. I could have taken it off but that might have done more damage so I sat there and looked at her, nodding once in response. She knelt on the floor, lifting the seat to the left of the door, revealing the "secret" compartment filled with emergency materials. She hefted a large metal case from the compartment's depths and was back in front of me rooting through it before I could do more than marvel at the size of our medical kit. She rooted around in it coming out with a sharp looking pair of scissors that she promptly put back. She sat back on her haunches, hands resting on her knees, head dipped so she stared at the floor.

"What is it, Rima?" My voice sounded flat, empty of everything but the very phonetics of the words. "What do you need to do?"

"I-" She stopped and bowed her head deeper. "I would have the best angle to work from directly in front of you." I smiled and it was actually genuine.

"You need me to spread my legs for you." Her head snapped up and though there was a boldly fierce look in her eyes her cheeks flushed a deep red. I almost laughed before stifling it, trying not to embarrass her more, nodding once. I slowly slid my legs apart, ankles brushing her knees. Her eyes were intent upon my face as I spread my legs as far as the seats allowed. "Better?" She dipped her head, nodding as she got on her knees and stopped, looking above my head. I glanced up and saw the intercom button. I watched her think it through with a great deal of amusement. She finally decided to try and move around me to get to it.

"Rima just reach up and push the damn button." She froze for a moment clearly thinking it through before she just moved. She wouldn't met my eyes or even look at me at all as she leaned up and held the intercom button. Her dillema became clear to me as I was forced to lean my head against the seat in order to keep her breasts from pressing against my face.

"Sir?" Bogot's voice came over the intercom as clearly as if he was speaking right beside us.

"Bogot I need you to keep the car steady. I am tending to Lord Kaname's wounds and would not wish to injure him further. I'd appreciate it if you'd warn me before deceleration or harsh terrain."

"Understood, madame." She quickly released the button and without asking began undoing the buttons on my shirt. I raised my eyebrows but I figured she was quite embarrassed to skip the formality of asking permission first. In seconds the shirt was undone.

"Can you sit forward, please?" I leaned slightly into her and she deftly, very carefully swept the shirt back off my shoulders, down my arms and off before I'd really registered the feeling of the cloth moving against my skin. It was times such as this that I was reminded that Rima was a professional model and was used to undressing and dressing quickly. Her hand pushed against my uninjured shoulder, easing me back against the seat as she popped a small penlight into her mouth, clicking it on with her tongue. I watched her golden head bob and weave in front of me as she used both hands to carefully examine the wound. She clicked the flashlight off before looking up at me.

"I can pull it out with minimal tearing but it will hurt as I think it is buried in the bone." She spoke around the flashlight that she held between her teeth. I rotated my shoulder slightly and grimaced.

"I think you are right." She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, don't move it!" She said it in a tone that seemed to be calling me a moron and I couldn't help but chuckle, which I immediately regretted as the muscles in my stomach and the new hole through them complained. She sidled closer and looked at the wound again before rolling her eyes up to me.

"I have nothing to numb the pain and trust me, this will not be pleasant." I sighed, aware of this long before she'd stated so.

"It's no more than I deserve." She raised an eyebrow at me and pursed her lips before leaning in and grabbing the small piece of metal sticking out of me firmly between her fingers. She didn't ask or make any more noise about doing it she just yanked it out. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the metal dislodge from my shoulder with a sharp, radiating pain. She kept her eyes on my face as she did it moving back with the bloody thing in her hand, tossing it down on a small piece of plastic she'd laid before doing this. I watched her as she rustled through the metal first aid box.

"You're going to enjoy this aren't you?" She paused for a heartbeat before continuing but I had noticed. I nodded. Yep. She was mad at me too. She pulled several things from the kit before sitting back on her haunches, wiping her fingers and hands with an alcohol pad.

"May I speak candidly, without repercussion, my lord?" I closed my eyes and sucked in a harsh breath before I went back to watching her. Here it was.

"You may." She fell still, moving her head so that she locked those cerulean eyes on mine.

"Lady Yuki is a good woman. She has always been patient and has a good head for politics but above all she loves those loyal to her...even you." I raised my eyebrows, shock plain on my face.

"Are you implying I am not loyal?"

"I am implying that were you not the lord of vampires I would have called you an asshole long ago." I stared at her for several heartbeats while shock and disbelief flooded through me.

"First I am disloyal and now I'm an asshole?"

"Are you implying you are not?" Maybe I hadn't realized how candid she really intended to be. I wasn't sure I waned her to continue and yet I wanted her to keep piling it on. I deserved it. I nodded.

"Continue." She smiled slightly before staring down at the needle in her hands as she attempted to thread it in the dim light.

"Lady Yuki has never shied away from any duty or task you put in front of her, no matter how it may have compromised the woman she was before you married her, her morals or her heart itself. She has Fought, bled and nearly died with us on the front lines as commander and chief, fed us in times of need-" She rolled her eyes up to me when she said that before going back to her needle and thread, "Watched over us and put us in our place when we overstep. But what makes her the leader we all love and follow is that she has never asked us to do anything she is not willing to do herself, held many of us close while we cried over those we have lost, and proven time and again that she loves us." She finally sat back, putting the needle down with a sigh. "She loves and cares for us as mother, confidant, friend...a queen that any who know her as such would follow through the ranks of hell if she commanded." I took a breath I hadn't realized I'd needed as tears stung my eyes. I had seen all of this but never had anyone so plainly state it to me, somehow it meant more coming from the mouth of the woman in front of me than it had ever meant in my mind. Rima looked up at me and the anger in her eyes made me internally flinch. I had never seen Rima look at me with such rage.

"That woman is honorable, strong, loyal, brave and fair. A better woman than all of us soldiers and men combined. Better than _any_ of us." She paused for a second, swallowing hard. "What do you remember from that village?" I looked away then. She didn't need to specify which village because I knew exactly which one she was referring to. She was quiet, obviously waiting for an answer.

"I remember the witch, the power of her magic. I'll never forget it. I was arrogant and thought I could easily kill her, that her magic couldn't possibly compare." I shuddered which hurt and caused me to wince. "I had no idea any magic could do that. I'd never felt anything like it and it caught me completely off guard. I remember her lips on mine, the feeling of her hands on my skin. I remember the sounds of battle around me and losing control, slipping under the weight of her power. Then-" I stopped and couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Then what?" There was no apology in her voice, only demand. It was a side of Rima I'd never had directed at me. I turned my head and glared at her.

"I remember the feeling of fire consuming me, burning along my skin, tearing my muscles and blood apart at a molecular level and re-knitting them again and again...and then a hand, a small pressure on my chest. The fire dimmed under the cool touch of skin, the sweet smell of her. The fire that ate me a piece at a time dimmed and while she touched me it didn't hurt as bad so I latched on, I held on for dear life. I remember feeling that fire flow down that hand and the pop that rang in my ears as it settled as deeply inside her as it was within me. I remember the wash of cool relief like the breath before the storm only moments before the flames burned us both, drowned us in a desire like no other." I closed my eyes as I spoke, unable to watch Rima's face. "It took me months to remember anything beyond that. Even now I only have small snap-shots, brief glimpses at what transpired over the next couple days. A kiss here, a scream there, the feeling of her legs around my waist or her nails in my chest, my fingers in her hair. Snippets and flashes seen in dreams and nothing more. It's never a full picture."

"You remember none of it?" I shook my head, eyes still closed.

"I remember that first touch and then I woke up next to Ruka naked, sticky with our sex, more exhausted than I ever remember being and so sore I couldn't move." I opened my eyes and saw Rima staring at me, face completely blank, eyes reflecting nothing. She nodded before speaking.

"I'm really no good at this first-aide shit. I can't thread this damn needle and your wound definitely needs to be tended to or it will heal in such a way that you'll need to have it reopened and healed again." She extended her wrist to me. "Here. Drink." I raised my eyebrows.

"I thought you were mad at me." She shoved her wrist so close to my face I had to grab it or she'd likely hit me with it.

"I'm not mad at you." She waggled her wrist as the flames roared to life in her eyes again. "I'm pissed. Now, drink."

Even though I could have gotten pissed and refused I didn't, the command in her voice vetoed that course of action for me. I was just unwilling to have yet another person angry at me when I was angry at myself. I wondered how it was that I had surrounded myself with such dominant personalities as I sank my fangs deep into her wrist. The only sign the bite of my fangs hurt was a slight flinching around the edges of her eyes.

Feeding is not a quick thing, no matter what you've seen on the silver screen. It takes quite a while to slake one's hunger and hungry I was. I hadn't realized just how hungry I was until I swallowed that first mouthful. She was silent, watching me while I fed eagerly at her wrist. I saw when the endorphins began to kick in because her eyes slid shut and she sucked her bottom lip in, rolling it under. Her fangs broke the skin and blood trailed down her chin in slow rivulets. I did her the favor of closing my eyes so that we could both pretend that this didn't feel good. If I couldn't see her it made the illusion more believable. It worked just fine until she made some noise under her breath and despite my hunger I pulled away tasting that first edge of orgasm in her blood. Her eyes were locked on me as I eased back in my seat. She said nothing, simply putting pressure on the slowly flowing blood oozing from my fang marks

"I can heal that, you know." She shook her head.

"I'm fine it will heal in a few minutes." I shrugged and winced as a sharp jolt of pain shot through my shoulder. I looked down at the wound to find it halfway healed. It should heal on it's own just fine now. But it still hurt to move my shoulder. A long silence fell between us and finally Rima spoke.

"She told me about it you know." I frowned.

"Who told you what?"

"Seiren. When you and Ruka were sneaking around together it pissed a lot of us off. She was the one to explain to us why you two were carrying on like that. She told us everything in vivid detail." She looked down at the floor. "She was a woman of few words but she was a gifted storyteller. I could almost see the scene unfolding before my eyes." I looked out the window as my heart clenched in my chest. We were both silent for a few minutes, remembering our fallen comrade and friend. I still dream of her body coming back to us in boxes holding dozens of small, gory pieces. It was one of the most haunting things I had ever seen. It had been five boxes total, each piece within them badly charred from where they had burned her alive first. I shuddered, throat closing tight with a wave of grief.

"Sir, madame, we are approaching the airport." We both flinched a little as Bogot's voice cut through the silence. I reached above me hitting the button for the intercom.

"Thank you, Bogot."

"You knew how Ruka felt about you, feels about you." I looked back out the window and answered her blatant statement with the truth.

"I have always known. She is not a woman to hide what she wants." Rima smiled and shook her head.

"No. She is not. However, that is not an excuse for what you did." I sighed deeply shoulders slumping.

"No it is not." She sat in silent shock for a moment.

"Then why the affair? Why would you allow such a thing to go on?"

"She came to me first, Rima." I wanted to take those words back as soon as I heard them for the pathetic excuse they were.

"And? You've turned her away plenty of times before." I turned and stared into her face, those large cerulean pools that seemed to be calling me on just about everything tonight.

I was so focused on her that I didn't know the car had stopped until the door opened to the left of us. She was not startled in the slightest, sliding lithely out the door as if we had been discussing the weather instead of poking fun at festered wounds. I moved like a decrepit snail in comparison to her, the gaping hole in my stomach healing much slower than the shoulder. Blood and feeding worked the same way as an aspirin, it was really effective for targeting one thing, not all of them. My shoulder wound had been freshly opened and freely bleeding so my body had healed that instead of the gut wound. I grabbed the shirt and pulled it on as I stepped out of the limo, holding it closed as we made our way over to the jet. Rima and I didn't talk again until we were in the air almost an hour later. Nothing but the whir of the jet engines sounded and I occupied myself by staring out the window.

"Why did you not turn Ruka away when she came to you?" Her words were spoken softly but sounded loud in the near silence. I closed my eyes, sighed and laid my head back against the seat. She would just not let this go. Fine. I was tired of running from decisions long past.

"I didn't want to." The silence was so thick as I continued. "I couldn't remember what we had done together in that hut, but my body did. Every time I saw her I grew aroused to the point of pain. What made it worse is that I could smell how I affected her too. That first week after the village was exhausting. My body ached but it still burned for her, I was tired and yet I couldn't sleep while my skin itched to be against hers. I drank from others to get my strength back but no matter how much I drank or who it was from my throat still burned with thirst for a flavor it couldn't be allowed to taste. I hungered for her when awake and dreamt of her while laying next to Yuki. I-" I stopped, swallowing hard, balling my fists up as I moved forward. "I lay with my wife while my body and mind yearned for the soft skin of another. I am ashamed of what I did." I stood from my seat and paced over to the bar, pouring a glass of scotch and shooting it back as if it were a cheap knock off instead of the fine, oaky malt it was. I poured another and drank it slower, the flavor of it searing down my throat, the warmth of it swirling a fire in the pit of my stomach. I poured one more glass before turning to face Rima, lower back resting against the lip of the bar. I stared into my glass, swirling the amber liquor around.

"I thought I was going to go mad from desire. When she walked into my room at first I thought I had lost my mind and was simply dreaming, hallucinating."

 _I whirled as the soft smell that had haunted my existence filtered through the open door she hadn't bothered to knock on before opening. I froze, heart racing as she stood, framed by the light behind her. The thin material of her white nightgown seemed sheer, mere decoration that emphasized the shadowed curves of her body. She quickly closed the door behind her, making her way towards me. I could do nothing but watch her, each breath coming quicker. Her fingers moved deftly, unlacing the delicate strings that held the top part of her nightgown closed. My whole body shook with anticipation as she parted the top of the gown until it gaped open, the lacing stretching across the pale, creamy mounds of her breasts, the thin material of her gown barely covering the nipples that had hardened to taught peaks beneath._

" _Ruka..." Her name left my lips on a shuddering sigh. I shook my head and went to turn from her but her fingers wrapped around my wrist spinning me to face her as she shoved me back against the wall next to the window. I groaned as she violently ripped my shirt open, sending the buttons flying everywhere, and pressed her body along the length of mine. My hands were resting on her waist and I didn't remember moving. I jerked them back to my sides and banged my head back into the wall, slamming my eyes shut._

" _Ruka...we can't. I-" Her lips pressed against my chest in a soft caress, such a simple touch that stole my breath. She kissed her way across my chest and I hissed when she flicked her tongue across my nipple._

" _Please..." She whispered against my skin before pulling my nipple gently between her lips to suck on it. I found my hands gripping her waist again as my breathing grew ragged._

" _Ruka...stop. We can't do this. We just can't." She rested her forehead against my chest and both my heart and body were in agreement when a soft sound like a sob came from her. I couldn't stand hearing her make that sound. I'd never liked seeing Ruka in pain. We had been together for so long. How could anyone be with someone for as long as we had and not love the other person at least a little._

" _Please...Kaname. It hurts." Her giant honeyed eyes stared up at me glistening with tears before she pushed her body harder against mine. I closed my eyes so that I couldn't see her. "It hurts." She breathed against my chest._

" _I know, Ruka. I know." She sighed against me, kissing her way across my chest again. Her finger nails gently trailed up my ribs making goosebumps explode along my skin. I shuddered and fought to stay still beneath her attentions._

" _Ruka, please. I don't...I can't-" If she didn't stop this I was going to lose. She needed to stop this...because I couldn't. My whole body burned with desire, the need to bury myself as deeply inside her as I could, to wrap her body around mine and lose myself in her. I didn't have the strength to shove her away when I knew how much we both hurt. She had to stop this. She had to or we would be lost because I couldn't save us. Not this time._

" _Just make it stop. Please, just take the pain away, just for a little while. Just this once." My body trembled beneath hers with the urge to give her exactly what she wanted. "Just take the pain away." She breathed right before she sank her fangs into the tender flesh around my nipple. My back arched off the wall and I gasped sharply as her tongue and mouth worked, pleasure arcing through me in a near painful bolt of endorphins. Her arms slid around my waist holding me close as she drank from me. My breathing quickened, my cock seizing in pants that had long since grown too tight. The endorphins being pumped through me almost shattered me in her arms._

" _Ruka...!" My knees were growing weak as the heavy weight of orgasm began to build and build. I moaned for her as that pleasure began to crest and then she pulled back. I slumped against the wall, Breathing hard. She looked up at me, my blood trailing from the corner of her mouth._

" _Let me take your pain away." Her voice was full and throaty, eyes filled with a dark promise that I so wanted. My resolve shattered and I leaned in licking my blood from her mouth before kissing her as deeply and thoroughly as I could, knicking my tongue on her fangs with careless zeal. She moaned into my mouth as I lifted her free of the floor, her legs wrapping around my waist, fingers burying into my hair as the fire once again consumed us._

I shook free of the memory and turned away from Rima's curious gaze, hiding my erection against the bar. But it hadn't been just that once. That first seduction was just one in a long succession of sex and passion.

"So Ruka seduced you first. So what? You didn't stop her and neither of you even tried to restrain yourselves after that." I closed my eyes tight as I just breathed.

"No. I didn't stop her. I...couldn't." I shook my head. "You wouldn't understand."

"You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand how you could have done what you did to Yuki or Ruka." I shook my head again before slamming back the rest of my scotch and pouring another one.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, Rima. I didn't intend to fall into Ruka's arms again and again. I didn't _intend_ for my wife to stand idly by my side and watch. I didn't _intend_ to desire another woman more than her! Or to watch her grow distant from me when I couldn't lavish her body with desires she deserved! I didn't _intend_ for any of this to happen! It just fucking did!" I was screaming at her by the time I finished. She blinked passively at me for a moment before standing and glaring at me.

"No? You may not have, but you did _intend_ to break Lady Yuki's heart didn't you?" I slammed my glass onto the bar, shattering it.

"No, dammit! I just wanted her heart for myself!" Rima laughed a harsh, nasty sound.

"And what made you think you deserved it? Why should you expect her to give anything solely to you when you have never done the same for her?" I took several steps toward her, hands balled into fists at my side.

"I NEVER LOVED RUKA! YUKI ALWAYS HAD MY HEART! SHE STILL DOES!" I was taken aback as a startling look of pity crossed Rima's face.

"Are you trying to convince me? Or yourself, my lord?" Her voice was quiet. I opened my mouth in shock and closed it several times trying to find anything to say. "It is funny that the first thing you should keep jumping to is your lack of love for Ruka. If there were any truth behind the words you wouldn't have to keep trying to convince everyone." I looked away from her as tears stung my eyes.

"I just wanted her for myself." I mumbled. The statement sounded selfish even to my ears but it was the truth.

"With all due respect, Lord Kaname, by the time you came back into her life that was already an impossibility. Even if she somehow forgives you for what you have done this night you will always share her heart." The first tear broke free and I had to sit down on one of the stools at the bar as my strength left me on a wave of grief. Silence settled between us as my mind wandered, trying to imagine a future without Yuki. I tried and all I saw was pain, misery and loneliness. Oh, Yuki.

"Was I naive, Rima?" She was so still for a moment that I didn't even hear her breathing. Then she was moving towards me. She stopped about a foot away and crouched down on the balls of her feet to look up into my face.

"I am more than a pretty face and many will see nothing more than that. They never realize how much I actually see. I can honestly say that I see your pain just as I see Yuki's. I see Ruka's pain too and even if I don't understand the dynamics of love I know love when I see it." I stared down into those cerulean eyes and didn't want her to finish but I had asked and it was too late to stop it now. "If you thought stealing Zero from Yuki would earn you her heart or that you do not love Ruka then yes, my lord. You are incredibly naive." Panic seared through me.

"Do I love Ruka, Rima?" She smiled softly up at me and searched my eyes for a moment with her own.

"In my limited experience I have found that only love cuts this deep, my lord." I frantically looked around the plane as if the answers I needed would suddenly rise up and smack me in the face. Did I love her? Or was it a lust like no other? Lust or love? Only the wisest knew the difference. Old I was. Wise? I don't think I'd ever claim to be such.

"Is there a difference between lust and love?" She was quiet and I looked down at her again to find her face furrowed in thought before she shook her head.

"I do not have the answer you seek. This is your dilemma to fumble through, Lord Kaname. Only you can answer that question." I stood up and she moved back so fast that she wound up on her butt as I paced away from her.

"I can't love her."

"And why not? Yuki loves both you and Zero. The heart is more than capable of loving more than one person at a time." I shook my head and whirled to see her sitting where she'd fallen, hands draped over tented knees, casually staring at me. My heart clenched tight as I forced the truth around the lump in my throat.

"If I do love Ruka than that would mean what I have done...my actions this night are truly unspeakable." She cocked her head to the side with a small smile on her face.

"Yes. That is exactly what it would mean. Now, my lord, we are getting somewhere." I spun from her and covered my face with my hands, unable to fathom the repercussions of my actions. If I loved Ruka as well as Yuki then I had lost them both, just as I'd torn both Zero and myself from her. I'd damned us all. I shook my head and slapped my palms against my forehead, rage boiling through me. In that moment I decided. No. I did not love Ruka...and I'd prove it.

 **%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**

 **Back at the Star dorm**

I shoved Anubis through the soft flesh of the stomach of the man running towards me and turned, ripping it upwards so that his intestine spilled across my shoulder as I threw him over me into the man charging at me from behind. There was just no fucking end to them. They swarmed us from every direction. I deflected the hail of bullets coming from down the hallway behind me back hearing a chorus of screams that said the bullets had found fleshy homes among those that had fired them. Bullets didn't care who fired them, they were completely unbiased as to whom they hurt. The shooter was another story entirely. I sent a blast out that knocked my enemies down and back, crashing into walls, over the balcony and into each other, giving me a few moments. I hopped up onto the railing and crouched, looking down at the chaos below me. We were outnumbered. Above the stench of battle I smelled something that lifted my head. They strolled casually through the blown out front door as if chaos was their element of choice. My heart fluttered in my chest. Vampire hunters. The real deal had just walked into our battle and we were fucked.

I felt the air shift beside me and cartwheeled along the banister falling back into a crouch, instinctively lashing out with my sword. The man made a sound of surprise and fell back, hands clutching at the second mouth gaping in his throat. Takuma's scream came to me and I whirled, heart in my throat, seeing him on his knees, a dagger buried deep in his shoulder and not just any dagger. The hilt glowed a vibrant purple as small bursts of electricity zapped him where the metal touched his flesh. Fuck! I shot a man in the head almost point blank, blowing his brains all over the man behind him who screamed, frantically wiping at his face. I blew his head off before he could do anything else.

"FALL BACK! RETREAT! EVERYONE RUN!" I heard another scream, a scream of someone who had become near and dear to my heart, which was racing like it too would retreat without me. My eyes widened as I saw Hanabusa fall to his knees. I saw the hunter walk towards him as he raised his gun.

"NOOOOO!" Ruka screamed from the stairs to my right.

I dove from the railing and prayed with everything I had that I made it in time. Please let me get there in time! Please, gods! I screamed my prayers to whomever was listening as I fell, choking on my fear. I landed behind Hanabusa, wrapping my arms around him and whirling just as the gun exploded. My body lay on top of his on the floor I whirled and raised Anubis as I moved, freezing when I saw the hunter on his knees, screaming, clawing at his throat and face where the skin was bubbling as if he was boiling from the inside out. His scream became a gargled noise and blood poured out of his ears, eyes, mouth and nose seconds before his body exploded, blasting me with hot, sticky, thick bits I couldn't even begin to describe.

I whipped my head to the left as Takuma staggered down the last step, hand outstretched towards the _very_ dead hunter. He turned his head to look at me and his eyes widened a second before they rolled back into his head and he passed out, head smacking into the floor. He had killed a hunter with his magic, a feat most aristocrats would have been unable to accomplish. It was a point in the hunters favor as a joke from the fates that our greatest weapon, our magic, was weak against those that hunted us. Only the really powerful could kill them with magic. I spun and ran my eyes and hands over Busa, trying to find the wound, struggling to breathe. He sat up slowly, his left arm limp at his side, eyes wide. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but I couldn't find the air to speak so I searched him frantically finding nothing. I slumped in relief. Oh, thank the gods! His hand flattened on the right side of my chest, shaking as he his hand came away coated in blood. I shook my head and stood. I took a wheezing inhale, pain shooting through my chest. Ruka slid to her knees next to him, eyeing him before looking up at me. Her eyes widened and she said something but I couldn't hear it, the shock of the battle too much for me I guess.

"Get him out. Get our people out, Ruka! Now. Retreat!" I sucked in a harsh breath and screamed it on a wave of my own power. "RETREAT!" I felt the scramble in the atmosphere that of our enemies trying to lash out in a final strike of triumph and of my people scrambling for an exit. Ruka and Busa were both moving toward me hands outstretched. I took a step back. "I gave you an order. Get Takuma and flee. Busa stopped where he was, tears gleaming in his eyes. Ruka was the one who kept coming forward. "GO!" I screamed.

We were running out of time. My shields were flawless against human weapons but they only slowed anti-vampire weapons. It was only a matter of time before our little huddle was noticed. They needed to be gone by then. I whirled from her, pulling Artemis from her holster. With a flick of my wrist she expanded into the huge scythe that she was. I looked at Ruka over my shoulder who simply stood there staring at me, huge eyes glittering with tears.

"Get our people out of here, take anyone who yet breathes with you."

"Won't leave without you...Yuki...come...please...!" Her voice came to me distantly and I smiled sadly shaking my head.

"If I come with you we all die and I cannot allow that. Go! Go now, Ruka!" She shook her head tears now streaming down her face. I saw Busa to the side of us hauling Takuma across his shoulders. I swung Artemis in a giant circle in front of me, bringing it to a halt, brandishing it with both hands and shoving my magic forward in a massive barrier that stopped not only bullets and various other projectiles but the men running forward. They bounced off the shield, stumbling and falling back on their asses.

"Ruka as your friend and queen I am begging you...GO!" The vampire hunters stepped forward, one of them ran his hand along the shield. "PLEASE, RUKA!" Busa ran by her grabbing her hand and jerking her behind him. She struggled against him and I watched them run through the archway under the balcony. They both paused before Senri ushered them through the doorway. He turned and looked at me, one of the newer male guards draped over his right shoulder in a fireman's carry. He dipped his head towards me and I smiled as he pulled a grenade from his belt, pulling the pin out with his teeth. The pain and respect in his eyes was the last thing I saw before he turned and ran. I held my ground and closed my eyes, giving myself to my magic for what could be the last time.

The explosion from behind me rattled the ground underfoot and whipped my hair around me as the flames crept up and over my shield. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard as the my shield absorbed that energy, the power of it creeping along my skin. I sucked it all up, the flames licking along my power and all the energy that taints a battlefield with death and spilled blood. My head rocked back, spine slightly bowing as the pure rush of power roared through me. It filled me up: every drop of blood, every fallen comrade and enemy, allegiance didn't matter to this power. It burned and whirled through me, stretching and pushing against my skin when there was nowhere for it to go. I screamed, totally unprepared for this level of energy. In the final moments of death we all sacrificed the greatest energy we can conceive, that of our own life. I hadn't thought about that when I'd so desperately absorbed anything I could. I opened my eyes and saw that once again my shields swirled with fire and jade. I felt the bullets raining down upon me and watched in awe as the hunters raised their weapons, firing, slashing and hacking against my barrier with no avail. Apparently I only needed to suck up the energy of a battlefield to put the hunters to a full stop.

I laughed and threw my head back, knowing what I wanted to do with all what magic. I imagined it all roaring out from me in a wave of flames and heat that imploded every body it touched. I said a quick prayer that all of my people were in the clear as all that power swept out from me, sweeping my hair out then whipping it around me as a symphony of screams that would haunt my dreams tore through the air that had caught on fire. A booming explosion sounded, rumbling through the very core of my existence and I screamed long and loud as my body burned with the rush of magic. I fell to my knees, Artemis falling from my hands to the floor soundlessly. The rush of my own blood in my ears was deafening, the ragged, wheezing sound of my breath discomforting. I looked up and couldn't believe what I saw. The foyer that had been so beautiful before was now breathtaking for another reason. The walls and floor were coated in the cherry, candied-red of blood. Small pieces gleamed here and there, chunks that seemed to paint macabre picture. This must be what it's like to be inside of a body. I chuckled at the horror of that thought before the first tear slipped silently down my face.

A sharp bolt of pain shot through my chest and my vision blurred as exhaustion settled around me like a well worn coat. Between Takuma and me this room was never going to be the same again. I frowned. Hadn't I told Takuma to watch over Zero? Why had he been here in the first place? My eyes lost focus for a minute and when I opened them I was laying on my side on the floor. When had I fallen? Wasn't I just standing? I blinked my eyes again and when I opened them the world was moving. I rolled my head against...someone's shoulder? Zero? I looked up to find out who carried me when the deep dark of exhaustion swept me over and under in a riptide that sent me spinning into oblivion.

… **...**

I woke to the sounds of quiet discussion, a couple people speaking in hushed, hurried tones. I was alive, that was my first shock. The second was the pain searing through my chest. I remembered Takuma face planting on the floor. Hanabusa's scream tore through me and my heart raced.

"Your queen awakens." I frowned at the unfamiliar voice. The bed dipped beside me, which is how I knew we were in a room.

"My queen? My queen, how do you feel?" I smiled.

"Takuma."

"Yes, my lady?"

"So glad to hear your voice." I grimaced at the pain in my chest that constricted my lungs. "Busa? Ruka? Senri? Safe? My people...are...safe?"

"Yes, my lady." I smiled again and sighed.

"Where-"

"They are doing as you asked and getting our people to safety. The battle is over, our enemies decimated but with no defenses and our forces severely depleted Ruka kept them moving, wary of a secondary attack." I frowned.

"Why are you here? Why were you in that battle at all? I told you to watch over Zero. Where is he?" My chest restricted so harshly at my outburst that I squirmed in pain.

"Please, don't talk so much. You are badly wounded."

"Answer-"

"I will answer your questions if you will stop talking so much." I smiled, falling silent.

"I took him to the school and chained him in the holding cells in the basement. You needed me here and I do not regret defying your orders. If I were not there you would not be here now."

I opened my eyes finally and stared at him. That seemed to help him relax. I must have been really out of it to not have noticed that he'd defied my orders, especially since he had talked to me before the battle even began. I couldn't help but notice the knife missing from his shoulder that was freshly bandaged. He noticed my gaze and smiled.

"Hanabusa removed the knife and bandaged me and I took blood from Cheyenne." The name was unfamiliar to me so I assumed she was one of the newer guards. "If you wish to know why I am here the answer is simple. Your explosion woke me. We all felt it, the heat of it washed over us, rumbling the ground and lighting the sky with roaring flames that turned night into day." He looked away down at the ground. "Everyone thinks you dead, lady Yuki. I do not think I will ever forget the horror and heartbreak on their faces." I swallowed hard.

"Why did you come back?" He looked at me then, eyes gleaming with ferocity.

"I had to know. I would not leave you here if there was even a chance you yet lived." His eyes reflected the fire of his sincerity and something like rage.

"They went under my orders, Takuma." I chuckled then winced. "It was not easy to get them to leave."

"You should have gone with them."

"Then we would all be dead."

"So be it!" He _was_ angry now which startled me. Takuma was always so calm.

"I did what I had to in order for my people to live."

"You are our queen! It is our duty, honor and privilege to die for you!"

"Fuck that! I am Lady of the vampires and it was my choice to do what I could, to give all _I_ had to save _you_ for once." I groaned as my chest restricted so hard and fast that my head pounded. His hand on my shoulder made me open my eyes to find the lovely forest green depths of his own overflowing with tears for me.

"You still think like a soldier and not a queen, my lady. Soldiers are expendable. Queens are not."

"Queens can be replaced, Takuma."

"Amen to that." The unknown voice said cheerfully from the background. I ignored her.

"My people mean more to me than any title." dozens of thoughts and emotions flew across his face and finally he smiled down at me.

"You are a good queen, my lady." I winked at him and smiled back.

"Thanks, Takuma. I try. Now can you do me a favor and sit me up?" He frowned before nodding and mounding pillows against the head board, lifting me and gently settling me back against them. I stared over at the woman who sat so casually in one of the plush chairs of the room. We had to be in the Star dorm, the air reeked of blood and smoke. She smiled at me and it was a magnificent smile. She was dressed in a tight pair of jeans that tucked into a pair of high-heeled boots that covered her entire calf up to her knee. Her black V-neck and blazer made her skin seem unnaturally pale. I frowned, staring at the thing curled in her lap, eyes widening when I realized it was her hair. Her yes were a startling shade of blue, like that of the sky when the storm has faded and the last gleam of the days sun lights it a rich, royal hue to warm the heart before the dark comes. She was breathtakingly gorgeous. She smiled as I stared at her.

"I am pleased to meet you, Lady Yuki." I swallowed hard.

"It would seem I am at a disadvantage for I do not know your name." Her smile widened.

"I am beginning to wonder if there is any way to truly put you at a disadvantage." I ignored her flattery and chose to be blunt since she wasn't responding to polite.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

"Oh, this should be good." Takuma mumbled under his breath. I looked at him.

"Do you have something to add to this conversation, Takuma?" He looked at me in shock.

"No, my lady...not yet." He corrected.

"Until you do, can the sarcastic comments. I'm really not in the mood." He nodded and went back to staring at the woman in front of me, I did too. She was smiling like she was watching the best sitcom in the world. "Well?" I demanded.

"I am Sara Shirabuki and I may have been the reason behind this attack." I stared blankly at her for a moment.

"I heard you were dead, having made the mistake of killing, or trying to kill one too many people." her smile widened.

"I have been dead for five years now, as far as any of you knew." I frowned. What the fuck was she doing here if she was supposed to be dead? I shoved the question to the side, moving on to more pressing matters.

"You are the one who commanded this attack?"

"No. I just whispered the right words of encouragement in the proper ears." Anger ripped through me.

"So you are openly admitting to gearing an attack against me and mine?"

"Yes." Her voice was calm as she admitted to her guilt, like she didn't expect to be punished for it.

"You do realize that I can kill you for treason here and now with a witness to verify your confession and no one would bat an eyelash." Her smile widened.

"Yes. You _could._ If you could move enough to do so." I raised an eyebrow.

"You forget that I yet have a guard beside me." She threw her head back and laughed.

"I forget nothing." Her voice was still thick with the lovely sound of her laughter. "Go ahead. Give him the order to kill me. We' shall see who commands his loyalty in the end."

"I would never harm, my queen!" Takuma took a step forward and her eyes flicked to him, giving him a quick up and down before coming back to me.

"No. I believe you wouldn't. But you would not kill me either and even if you tried it would take one much more powerful than yourself to complete the task." The confidence in her words pissed me off but what made me shove the whole subject away for later was that Takuma slunk back to the wall he had been leaning against without another word in his defense. Who was this woman to him?

"I'm going to assume that you geared this attack for a reason, so what was it?"

"Why to kill both you and Kaname of course."

"Naturally. But why?" She smiled again.

"Because I wish to be queen and with neither of you in my way my claim to the throne would be unquestionable. The only family name that holds more power than mine is the Kurans. Like me Kaname is the last of his line." Yes, she would have had the throne, crown, army and all without a single dispute.

"Why are you telling me this then?"

"Because you are no longer a threat to me." I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?" She smiled.

"Why don't you ask...your guard who it was that saved you." I raised both eyebrows and laughed.

"Please tell me how it is you went from trying to kill me to saving me?" She was still smiling as if laughing at some joke the rest of us weren't privy to.

"Chaos always provides an excellent window for opportunity. I watched from that window as Kaname took your lover from you and you tried to kill him in return." She grinned. "It really was an excellent display." I felt my face close down in cold, harsh lines as I tried to fend off my anger before it smothered the rational side of my brain.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show." She laughed, high and bright, nodding.

"Oh, I did! I geared this attack to dispatch you both and you very nearly did it for me right before my eyes. Irony at its best." I forced myself to focus on the questions at hand.

"So why am I no longer a threat to you?"

"Why, you all but divorced Kaname before you sent him away and told him you would step down if he found a suitable wife to replace you. Why would I need to kill you if you are stepping down? It is no longer necessary to kill either of you."

"I thought you enjoyed the kill, Sara?" Takuma's voice was sinister and harsh, startling coming from him. She glanced at him before smiling at me, eyes moving up and down my body. She stood and I noticed that she was fairly tall for a vampire female, around 5'6'' or 5'7''. She swayed towards me and Takuma was suddenly in front of her.

"Takuma." He froze and turned his head so that I had a profile view of him. "Let her come forward."

"Lady Yuki-"

"I said move, now fucking do it!" My emotions and the heavy weight of exhaustion were grating at my patience. He bowed his head and moved back to his place against the wall. Sara smiled up at him, almost tauntingly, as she watched him move. When he was back against the wall she came forward and sat on the edge of the bed, eyes roving over me. She reached out and took my hand in hers, lifting it to her mouth, eyes rolled up to mine, glowing with challenge. I watched her and didn't flinch as she ran her tongue slowly along the back of my hand several times, lapping at the blood that had dried on my skin to a tacky substance. If she expected me to flinch she did not get it. I felt my lips curl into that unpleasant, sinister twist of a smile, the one I wore when I was about to kill something and she froze, cocking her head to the side. All traces of the smile she had worn before was gone.

"I think there is more than one reason why you no longer want to kill me. You sent the last group too didn't you? The one that tried to attack at the dance." She gently placed my hand back on the bed and pulled away from me.

"Yes. I heard you were the one who stopped that attack as well. You have proven to be quite difficult to kill." It was my turn to grin at her.

"Twice now you have tried and underestimated me both times. I am beginning to sense a pattern." She eyed me curiously.

"You are not the annoyingly playful naive girl you were the last time I saw you." That shocked me. When had she seen me. Again, I ignored that comment.

"You have no idea the things I have done to ensure the survival of myself and those who follow me these past five years that you've played dead." She searched my face for a moment before smiling again.

"You sit before me drenched from head to foot in the blood of your enemies like the perfect poster-board for the criminally insane and laugh. No, Yuki I do not know what you have done but whatever it is I applaud you." She watched me while I laughed. She applauded me? Somehow that was just too funny. When I was quiet she frowned at me. "Your power has grown formidable and were we to be enemies I might say I'd prefer to be your ally." I stared at her for a while allowing myself to think. And knew what to say.

"I will step down if ever he finds a worthy replacement, but that will not be you." She scowled at me.

"Are you trying to piss me off? In your current state that would be awfully foolish of you." I smiled which made her frown again.

"I know very little of you Sara Shirabuki but what I do know is that you slaughtered hundreds tonight on a whim. You killed and ate your fiance's heart, absorbing his powers and slaughtered countless more over the thousands of years you have lived. You are a mad woman and I will never yield the throne to you." She laughed.

"I'm the mad woman? I sent them to you but _you_ slaughtered them. You forget, Yuki. I saw what you did. What do you think your people will think when they see that?" I shrugged and my chest shot pain again.

"I think there is company coming and you should scram before you get your ass killed." Her face crumbled in rage.

"We could have been allies, Yuki but instead you chose to make me your enemy." She stood, glaring down at me. "Your mistake."

"I have made many mistakes, this is not one I would list among them."

"I will kill you, Yuki. You and Kaname will fall by my hand." I stood and the cramping in my chest threatened to double me over. I was nearly a foot shorter than her, the heels didn't help, but I glared up at her.

"Twice now you have tried to kill me, neither time did you show your face. Somehow, Sara, I just don't think you're up to the job." She took a step closer so that I had to crane my neck to see her. I had always been the kind of short that made clothe shopping difficult so if she thought her height would daunt me, she was wrong.

"I could kill you here and now. Both of you and no one would know it was me."

"Try it if you dare. I'm right fucking here. If you're going to kill me then stop talking about it and just do it, if you have the balls to try." The challenge in my voice was brazen and her eyes widened just a little. She breathed heavy and I watched the gears move behind those amazing eyes of hers. "Tick-tock, Sara, tick-tock." Company would be her in moments. She flicked her eyes to the door then back to me. A smile curved those lush lips as she took one step back, then two.

"You've made a mistake that I will make you regret, Yuki."

"Yeah, yeah. The only mistake made here tonight Sara was the one you made when you saved me and blabbed out your whole plan. Now get out." I waved her away as I reclined back on the bed. "I'll kill you later." She opened the window and laughed. Turning back as she crouched on the sill.

"May the best bitch win." She actually winked at me right before she dove out the window. I shook my head and sighed.

"Typical. Did she really just do that?" It was like some bad action movie cliché, you know, the one where the bad guy has the good guy in his grasp and chooses to tell his whole plan instead of just killing them. "Thousands of years and she's still a fucking amateur." Takuma knelt on the floor next to me.

"I know why you did not attack her, lady Yuki, but why did she not attack you?" I laughed.

"Twice now I have thwarted her assassination attempts with powers she did not expect. She underestimated me and now she has no idea what to expect from me. Even in my weakened state she wouldn't risk her pretty little neck. Honestly, if she would have attacked me like this I probably would be dead." His eyes widened. I just didn't think I had another miracle in me tonight.

"Why did you so openly challenge her then."

"Because she is a coward and would never personally attack me especially when I was expecting it." He nodded as if he completely understood. I stared at him. "We will be having a long discussion very soon about all of this." He sighed, shoulders rounding with some unknown weight before he nodded again. Seconds later the door burst open.

"That had better be friendly because if its not I am going to be pissed." I slowly stood. Takuma grabbed my arm and helped me to my feet and turned me to face the door. I appreciated the help. My chest really hurt like a bitch. Ruka, Busa and Senri all stood crowded just inside the doorway, looks of disbelief stretching their faces into something that would have been comical if I hadn't known that they'd all thought me dead.

"Stop staring at me like you've just seen a ghost. As you can see I am alive." The tears of relief that rolled down Busa's face as he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, mouth moving in a quiet prayer, made my heart clench. They all came forward and I was suddenly drowning in the arms of my guards, comrades and friends. They all pulled back and I sat gingerly back on the bed. I finally looked down at my chest, peeling the shirt away and tearing at it until I could see the charred black skin beneath. There was a dark red hole in the center about the size of a can of soda. The entrance wound was in back, or at least that was what I hoped. If the wound in the front was the entrance wound I really didn't want to see the exit wound. I groaned, realizing that a sizable chunk of my right breast would now permanently be covered with this scar. Great. It was no wonder why I'd had such a hard time breathing without pain.

"Let us heal you, lady Yuki." Ruka's voice came from right in front of me. I nodded.

"I will take some blood if someone is offering." My voice sounded as distracted as I felt while looking down at the gaping hole in my chest. Gods it hurt!

"I would be honored to feed you." I glanced up at Senri who had volunteered.

"You don't like donating." He smiled gently at me and moved forward pulling his shirt over his head in a smooth motion that reminded me of his day job as an idol. I could see why he was so popular. It was a nice view. He fell to his knees next to Ruka who moved to the side to make room for him. He leaned up and Ruka put her hand on his shoulder to stop him. Senri looked at her and she was looking at me.

"When I said let us heal you I meant more than blood." I raised my eyebrows.

"Wha-" She placed her hand on my knee.

"Let us hold you, my queen." Her eyes gleamed with tears. "We thought we had lost you." She shook her head. "Just let us heal you." I stared into that beautiful face and felt my heart swell as I looked from hers to the man in front of me, then to Takuma's and finally Busa's. They all shared a similar pain in their eyes and I could do nothing more than nod.

When one of us was seriously injured it was sort of a common practice to sleep in a giant puppy-pile. I don't know why but having the warmth, the magic and life force of one another pressed together we healed nearly twice as fast, more so if we were well fed on top of that. Senri slid his hands up my calves, parting my legs so he could lean closer, giving me a nice striking angle. I leaned forward so that I leaned against his chest for balance, sliding my hand around his neck, angling his head back. His eyes slid closed and his breath came just a little faster. We all knew what to expect from each other's bite at this point and even if we didn't want it to feel good, it did. His hands hung loosely at his sides, not touching me. Technically speaking, Senri was my cousin so things had the potential to get really weird. I know that in vampire society it was standard op to marry in the family. Hell, my parents were siblings! Maybe it was the time I spent as a human but that was a serious ick factor for me.

I sank my fangs into his neck and groaned as my stomach growled. I eagerly fed from him, hugging him close. I was so lost in the feed that I lost track of everything else, including the orgasm that came out of nowhere. He cried out, hands squeezing my calves as he fought to stay still beneath my fangs. I pulled back from him reluctantly, stomach growling in protest, a sound that rolled up my throat and out of my mouth. I was so hungry that I almost struck at Senri's neck again. Instead I shoved him away from me before I did just that. Takuma caught him and moved him back from me as Ruka slid into the spot he'd just knelt. She tipped her head to the side, baring her neck in a long line.

"Take blood from me, my queen." She didn't have to say it again. I plunged my fangs into her none too gently, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. She held me as tightly as I held her making small noises of protest at how roughly I fed at her neck but she didn't tell me to stop. I tried to calm the hunger raging inside of me by telling it we were hurting our friend but the hunger didn't care. Her fingers dug into my shoulder and between one second and the next the pain switched over to pleasure. I tasted the flood of endorphins through her blood, the feel-good sensors that fired like crazy when stimulated by vampire saliva. She moaned lightly and I squeezed her to me tighter. She made a small noise either out of protest or in preparation for the orgasm about to blow her mind. The pleasure rocked through both of us with no warning at all. Ruka cried out, fingernails digging into my shoulder blades as her body tried to spasm. I groaned around a mouthful of blood a series of small orgasms clenching my body tight around hers and in that moment of total abandon our bodies seemed to weld together and her heart beat as if it were mine, a power I had never had before.

Her emotions welled through me and my chest constricted with the intensity of them. She had been so scared, heart broken when that explosion lit the sky. I felt her pleasure for a second as if it were my own and then I was overwhelmed with a tide of loyalty, respect and...love. Ruka loved me. The weight of that heavy emotion was too much for me right at that moment. I struggled, shoving at the sticky web of her heart trying to break free of her grasp. I swatted at it but it was like trying to push water away from you when you floated in six feet of it. I finally broke the connection when I threw my head back and gasped in a loud, harsh breath of air.

I swallowed convulsively, my head spinning with the heady mix of Senri and Ruka's blood. Ruka's body was limp in my arms, shuddering with the aftershocks of her orgasm, eyes rolled back in her head. I tightened my hold on her and pulled her with me as I laid back, rolling us over so that she lay on her back next to me. I trailed my fingers lightly down her cheek and leaned into her to place a brief, chaste kiss on her cheek. I rolled onto my back breathing heavily as I stared up at the ceiling. The bed dipped next to me and rolled my head to see Takuma lounging there with that slight smile on his face. He simply offered me his wrist. I smiled and gently wrapped my fingers around his hand, lowering it while shaking my head.

"I am well fed. Thank you, Takuma."

"I know you are, my lady, but if you have all of our blood mingling inside of you our energies will heal you more effectively as we sleep." I thought about asking him about the why behind all this metaphysical crap but was suddenly too tired to care. I grabbed his wrist more firmly and lifted it to my mouth hesitating only a second before striking. His body tensed for a moment and then he relaxed, laying his head down on the arm extended above his head. I closed my eyes and fed until he made a small noise as those first delicious hints of orgasm tainted his blood. I pulled back.

"Hanabusa." Takuma's voice was thick with the endorphins I'd pumped into him. Hanabusa came forward placing one knee on the bed between my legs and the small space between Takuma and me. He extended his wrist which I bit without hesitation. He tensed, the same as Takuma, before relaxing into the bite. When he groaned I broke away. My stomach was so full with their blood, head and vision swimming. I felt light, full of air, only their blood pooled in the center of me kept me from floating away. I giggled.

"I do believe I'm drunk." They all laughed softly. Takuma popped off the bed.

"Hanabusa, move lady Yuki and Ruka further back on the bed, please." Hanabusa linked his arms under my shoulder and legs and suddenly I was floating, flying really.

"Whoa..." I mumbled. What a trippy feeling. He chuckled and laid me down. Seconds later Ruka was back beside me. I rolled onto my side slinging my arm over her waist, curling my body against hers, snuggling into the warmth and comforting sweet smell of Ruka. The bed dipped behind me and then my body jerked as my shirt was ripped off me. I made a noise of protest, snuggling back into my comfort zone.

"My queen?"

"Mmm?"

"We have to at least get you out of these pants or you'll regret it in the morning." Out of my pants? That sounded like so much work. And I was so comfortable. "My lady?"

"Mmm...m'kay." I was rolled onto my back which made me frown. What was the big idea? I was comfortable. I must have lost time because the next thing I knew I was all but naked, curling back up to Ruka. The bed dipped again and I was about to get irritated when the bare chest of a man slid against my back and he curled against me, wrapping as much of his much taller body against mine as he could. His arm stretched over both my hip and Ruka's, running along the length of my arm. I sighed and wiggled in content between the two of them. Another hand rested on my hip, fingers tracing lazy circles on the skin just above the line of my underwear. Someone lifted my hand that was resting against Ruka's stomach relocating it to rest on a set of narrow hips. Ruka made a noise of content as she moved to hug the man in front of her. Their names escaped me but I fell asleep in a warm cocoon of content that smelled like sweet summer sunshine and a forest breeze.

… **...**

I flew high above a battlefield on massive wings that swirled with every color of red imaginable. I looked down at the tiny hands in my own seeing the smiling face of a young girl that looked like me in the face. My own eyes glowed with joy up at me, a high pitched squeal of laughter lighting my heart with pure happiness. Her hair was like mine but something was different about it. I stared trying to figure out what it was and then I saw it. Silver streaks gleamed through the long waves of her hair. She swung her feet gayly with complete abandon, not paying any mind to the destruction and death below her.

My heart skipped a beat as her tiny hands grew slick in mine. I tightened my grip on her but the harder I tried to hold on the faster she slipped out of my grasp. She looked up at me and that beautiful little trill of laughter and those gleaming eyes didn't seem to notice. I frantically held on and screamed around the heart in my throat as those little fingers slipped from my hold. I screamed and dove after her. She laughed as she spiraled faster and faster towards the ground, flipping and spinning head over heel. I flapped my massive wings trying to speed my descent and save her. She laughed the whole way down like this was a game she was used to playing. It wasn't until I could see the details of the battle below that that joyful squeal turned to something even more high-pitched, a peal of terror that stopped my heart as she realized I wasn't going to be able to save her. I screamed as my heart spilled from my eyes, tears streaming behind me. She turned to face me, hair blowing up around her, reaching for me, tiny hands grabbing at the air, those enormous eyes overflowing with tears of fear. I flapped my wings with everything I had and knew in the core of my being that I wasn't going to make it in time.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. I came to a screeching halt as that little body was impaled on a spear.

My whole body jerked as I woke with a cry. Tears flowed down my face and my heart was clenched tight in my chest my scream of agony as that little angel died before me. I shook my head, swallowing hard, trying to shake free from the grip of my nightmare. I sighed heavily and blew out a shaky gust of air. One of the warm bodies wrapped around me shifted, hand trailing comforting circles across my stomach. Even in his sleep Takuma was trying to comfort me. I focused on the tangle of limbs that twined me close to those I loved.

Ruka's head rested on my breast, arm slung over my stomach so that her hand rested on Takuma's shoulder blade. Her leg was slung over mine. Takuma had somehow wriggled down so that his head and part of his shoulders rested on my stomach, arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close like a teddy bear. His hip and leg were draped over mine, ankle hooked behind Ruka's leg. Another leg pressed against the outside of the one trapped beneath Takuma. I lifted my head, which rested on Hanabusa's lower arm. His face was slack, peaceful with sleep. His body was curled around Ruka, leg thrown over Ruka's other leg so that his calf rested against the outside of my leg. Senri was similarly curled around Takuma except that his head rested on my lower arm. My other hand was buried between Busa and Ruka, flattened against her lower back and his stomach. Senri made some soft noise and I smiled when he moved so that he could rub his face back and forth across the skin between Takuma's shoulder blades before burying his face against the other man's back. Takuma sighed softly in his sleep and his arm tightened around my waist for a moment while he rubbed his cheek against my stomach like Senri had done to his back before going limp again. I lay there simply staring at them all. They were all so beautiful it made my heart hurt. I noticed that we were all stripped down to our underwear so that the fine lines of their bodies were there for my eyes to trace. The arm that had been Senri's pillow was now free and I wanted to touch them, to run my fingers through their hair but didn't dare move for fear that I would wake them. I don't know what made me look over into the corner but my eyes widened, finding headmaster Cross sitting in the chair Sara had occupied. His sword was sitting across his lap and his hair was down, something I had only ever seen a couple times. He smiled at me and stood and quietly, moving so that I didn't have to crane my neck to see him. He held a single finger to his lips.

"Shhh...don't speak. I wouldn't want to wake them." He breathed in a barely audible whisper. He looked down at us in our tangle of limbs and his smile widened. "If I would have had a camera." He shook his head and quietly laughed. I frowned at him and felt slightly squeamish laying nearly naked in front of my father. He must have noticed my discomfort because his smile widened a bit more.

"It is okay, Yuki. You need not feel weird. I have been watching over you all for quite some time now." Oh because that made me feel better. His smile turned into a very serious frown suddenly, eyes flicking briefly to my chest before coming back to my face. "Your wound was frightful, my dear. You did what you had to in order to heal." He smiled again. "And to be quite honest I'm just a little jealous of you." His eyes roved once again over the pile of bodies in the bed around me. "You are all quite lovely tangled together in sleep." I didn't blame him for the jealousy. I didn't much like getting injured and scarred up but if I had to pick a favorite part of it all it would certainly be this. I couldn't deny that I loved waking nestled between at least two people. It was my favorite way to wake up. Except for the one morning I woke beside Zero. All of this was secondary to that.

"What has put such a serious look on your face?" I shook my head and offered him a smile that I didn't really mean.

"It's a shame you hung up the sword headmaster or you might have an occasion or two to wake up in her place." Takuma's voice was thick with sleep, hushed so as not to wake the others. I smiled down at him before watching several thoughts chase across my father's face like he was seriously contemplating what Takuma had said. I don't know why it had never occurred to me before that he might be lonely. He finally shook his head, face set in serious lines.

"I made an oath and I will keep it to the best of my ability." Takuma sighed and snuggled his face against my stomach again.

"I understand." He was very careful to move no other part of his body. I finally allowed myself to move my arm so that I could swirl the locks of his bright blonde hair around my fingertips for a moment before burying my hand in his hair, running my fingers through it. He breathed a sigh of content across my stomach that tickled. My father stared down at us for a moment. Yes, there it was. I saw the loneliness, the longing in his eyes and my heart swelled with pity for him. A quiet knock sounded at the door, a soft sound that still managed to wake everyone up. Busa popped up off the bed like he was going into attack mode.

"Calm down, Busa. It is just someone at the door." He shook his head, groaning and scrubbing his hands across his face as sat back on the bed. Senri and Ruka were both sitting and staring at the door through groggy eyes and sleep tousled hair. My father answered it and spoke quietly to whoever was at the door. Only Takuma and I still laid comfortably tangled on the bed. I played my fingers up and down the soft hairs on his arm where it wrapped around me, my other hand playing in his hair. The door closed and my father came back into view a phone in his hand.

"It is for you." I groaned, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I felt Takuma's body tense like he was about to move but I tightened my hand in his hair, slightly digging my nails into his arm. He relaxed against me without a word. I wasn't ready to be alone again yet. I reached the hand that had been toying with his arm out and claimed the phone, putting to my ear. I knew exactly who it was.

"What's up, Dai?" He heaved a huge sigh, blabbering something in Japanese too rapidly under his breath for me to catch any of it.

"You're alive!"

"I am."

"Oh thank the gods! I have been trying to get in touch with you for the past twelve hours and for the past two I have gotten the run around with your people. All they would tell me is that you were alive but I needed to hear it for myself."

"I'm sorry for all the trouble you've gone through but as you can hear I am, in fact, alive and well."

"Yes, well, for the moment at least."

"Speak plainly Dai. I don't have the patience for riddles right now." He sighed.

"What the fuck did you do last night? How did you survive?"

"Carefully and what do you mean what did I do? I fought a fucking battle and lost good people. That's what I did."

"What's the casualty count?"

"I'm not sure." He made a noise of shock.

"What do you mean you're not sure."

"Just what I said. I have been informed that my forces have been seriously depleted but I do not have a casualty count yet. I don't think there is enough left of the other guys for an accurate count on their end." I heard him swallow hard.

"Yeah. I gathered that much." I raised my eyebrows at that, still running my fingers through Takuma's hair who still passively lay on me.

"What do you mean you gathered that much?"

"Whatever you did over there last night lit the fucking sky bright enough that the satellites caught several images. I had a hell of a time keeping the 'proper' authorities from rushing over there. They thought you'd gone nuclear over there."

"Shit." I said softly but with feeling.

"Yeah. Shit is right. It's all over the fucking news. They've got the satellite images of the explosion, pictures of the gates to the academy blown all to hell and if they get anyone inside your perimeter I'm going to assume they'll probably have a shit ton more. Probably a whole lot of shit you definitely do not want on the news." No. I certainly did not.

"Fuck! Hold on a second." I moved the phone slightly away from my mouth.

"We do have a perimeter up and running, yes?" I spoke directly to my father. He nodded.

"I went and informed your people that you were alive once I saw it for myself and told them it was safe to come back to the academy. We set up a perimeter around the Star dorm but we don't have the man power for much else." I nodded. Fuck. I moved the phone back to my mouth.

"We do have a perimeter up but we only have the manpower to hold it around last night's battleground."

"Don't sweat it. I have my people running a perimeter around the entirety of the academy to keep the pests away."

"Double it. Whatever you already have up and running double it. Do whatever is necessary to keep the cameras out of Cross academy." He was quiet for a moment.

"What did you do there last night that you need that much coverage." I ground my teeth and spoke through them. I was tired of explaining so I was as blunt as possible.

"I am unsure of what the outside damage looks like but the foyer looks like a blender after I pureed our enemies in it."

"Oh god..." I heard him swallow several times. "I really wish you would have refrained from that bit of imagery."

"You wanted to know and we don't have time to dick around with explanations. I need the perimeter secured."

"Sure. You got it."

"I need to go."

"Yuki?"

"Yes?"

"Get the outside damage cleaned up because once they realize they can't get men in on foot they'll send in the choppers. The clock is ticking." He'd said something similar in our last phone call.

"You and I really need to have better conversations, preferably ones that don't include the words small army, media frenzy, perimeter or puree." He swore under his breath.

"For the love of the gods, woman! Stop saying that word." I chuckled while I listened to him go on a brief, colorful tangent. "This is already a media shit-storm. Clean it up before they get anything that will make this worse. I'll be in touch." The phone went dead in my ear. Takuma tipped his head back, eyes rolled up to me and as I looked around the room I saw everyone was staring expectantly at me. I sighed and withdrew my hand from Takuma's hair, tapping him on the shoulder. He rolled off me and I sat up begrudgingly. I guess it was time to go put on my big girl pants.

… **...**

 **Nine days later**

I stood staring at the door that led down into the holding cells beneath the school. I had gone to see him two days after the battle but since then I had allowed myself to get swept away in the frenzy of the media for a week now, procrastinating. I had actually had to introduce myself which broke my heart all over again but it was the quiet hatred in his eyes when he heard my title that had reduced me to tears. I left before he saw them. I had gone back to my room and cried in the bath for hours. I didn't want to go through that again.

"How long are you going to leave him locked down there?" My father's voice came softly from behind me. I sighed and stared at the floor, putting my hands on my hips. "Yuki?"

"I heard you." I grumbled, shaking my head. "If I let him out and he's unstable he could kill my people. Hell, he could kill yours as well simply for associating with mine." He was silent for a long moment.

"Is that really what you are afraid of, Yuki?" I clenched my jaw as I spoke, fighting the burning tears at the back of my throat.

"If he gets out and does that, if we can't calm him..." I shook my head and let the thought trail off. "I don't-" I looked up at the ceiling, sucking in a huge lungful of air that I held until my lungs burned for more. I blew all that air out in a low trembling line before speaking. "I can't. I won't survive it." I couldn't lose Zero, I just couldn't. Not again. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me in against the front of his body in a gentle hug. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the strength he offered me for a moment before gently stepping away. I opened that door and began walking down the steps without saying another word or looking behind me. If I looked back I wouldn't go forward. I passed the first two doors stopping and turning to face the third door on the right. I hesitated only a moment before opening the door and closing it behind me. I leaned against it while my heart fluttered in my chest.

"The way your heart races, I'd swear you were scared of me, little queen." He sat with one leg propped up, arm slung casually across his knee, head bowed so that his hair completely obscured his face from view. He lifted that head now and showed me the lilac of his eyes through a silver veil. "Funny thing is you smell like hope, not fear." He cocked his head to the side. "What is it you want from me?"I stood and walked across the room to the lone chair in the center. His eyes followed me, watching me silently as I sat.

"Do you remember who I am?" He smiled at me, more a baring of teeth.

"Yes, little queen, I remember who you are." I looked at the floor, hiding my eyes from him. I don't know why I'd expected him to suddenly have an epiphany but that was not the answer I wanted from him. "Why have you locked me in here? Better yet how did I get wherever the hell _here_ is?" Here we go.

"You are in the holding cells beneath the school at Cross Academy. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I was patrolling the surrounding area around this campus, having heard there was quite an infestation of vampires trying to attack the Lady of Vampires."

"Why would you patrol to protect me?" He scoffed at that and leaned his head back against the wall.

"I didn't do it for you, don't be so arrogant, little queen. I just thought if I patrolled the surrounding country I'd get to kill more of you." I swallowed hard.

"I see. Do you remember anything else?" He shook his head.

"I remember a woman screaming, voices, the sound of fighting around me and...your eyes and then nothing." Fighting? A woman's scream? Could it be that he was vaguely conscious during the aftermath of his memory swap? "Then I woke up here." He rattled his chains. "Chained to this wall."

"Do you remember what the voices were saying?" His eyes rolled up towards the ceiling as if he was seriously thinking back on it and then his eyes narrowed on me.

"Stop trying to pump me for information." His voice was low and dangerous, a tone I'd never had directed at me from Zero. The lie just flowed off my tongue.

"My people found you just outside the academy during the retreat from the siege. I will pump you for all the information I want until I deem that you aren't a threat. For all we know you could be working for our enemies." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Like I would ever work for a vampire or wannabes. Let me go and I will not harm you or your people, little queen." It was really pissing me off the way he kept calling me that.

"And if I _do_ let you go and you kill me and mine?" He glared at me and rattled the chains hard in a fit of rage that was startling. I sat there and watched him until he fell still, his breath coming hard and fast.

"Let. Me. Go." He spoke each word through his teeth as he glared at me through a curtain of his hair. My heart raced faster as it inched its way up into my throat. It pained me to see him stare at me like that. I shook my head slowly. I couldn't let him go. He had nowhere to go, no clue who he really was and all the memories Kaname had implanted in his head were false. If I let him go it would only be a matter of time before he figured that out. Then I had an idea.

"You want to kill vampires more than anything right?" He eyed me curiously, relaxing against the wall again before he smiled.

"You got a particular vampire in mind you want me to dispatch, highness? If you let me out of this damned room that's not a problem." I smiled at him

"No I don't have any one particular vampire in mind." His smile slipped a little.

"You sure? It's a one time offer." My smile widened and his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I was thinking something more permanent." He raised an eyebrow at that with a smirk that was pure amusement.

"Like what? You looking to have a vampire hunter on your pay roll to assassinate whomever you need at your whim?" I actually laughed at that which made him frown.

"I already have people to do that."

"Stop beating the bush to death and just spit it out already, highness." I grinned at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry do you have some other pressing matters to tend to?" He growled, a low purr of agitation, eyes flashing red for a moment. I laughed and held up a hand in a push away gesture. "Okay, okay fine."

"I am so glad I could amuse you." I chuckled a little and leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees.

"You want to kill vampires. I want you to kill vampires, just not mine. Work for me. I can guarantee you'll kill more vampires in my employ than working for the association." He stared at me for a moment before laughing.

"The association." He shook his head, laughter shaking his shoulders. I raised an eyebrow.

"That is who you work for right?" He looked up at me, eyes shining with laughter.

"I work for no one." Oh.

"Then you won't owe anyone an explanation for why you're working for me then." He offered me a wry smile.

"What do you get out of this, little queen? You already have assassins and soldiers. I'm sure you have spies as well."

"I get another soldier, one motivated purely by hatred, which can prove to be useful in nearly any situation."

"And?" I smiled.

"I'm sure you are aware that since I partnered with the Prime Minister of Japan my enemies have been popping out of the wood work, upping the violence against me."

"I am aware." I shrugged.

"So when you're as far up shit creek as I am you can never have too many soldiers." He laughed at that, a surprised burst of sound while nodding his head.

"Eloquent." He looked directly into my face, eyes sparkling with laughter. "But what are you really after?" I raised my eyebrows at him. And shot me an aggravated look, the smile gone as fast as it had come. "I am not a fool, highness, nor do I appreciate being treated as one." I smiled and nodded. No. My Zero was many things but a fool was not one of them.

"You would stand by my side as the hunter you are during any and all public events I have to attend, a silent but obvious symbol to the Hunters Association and those wannabes who would rise against me that I am trying to build a bridge, not a wall between our factions so that we might work together in order to eliminate those that pose the real threat." He smiled slightly at that.

"That's pretty good. You should write that down." I ground my teeth at the thick sarcasm in his words.

"It is a good offer."

"As opposed to what? The flip side of that deal where you leave me in here to rot? Yeah, I guess in comparison it's a real sweet gig." I stared at him as I mulled his words over in my mind. I stood and began walking toward him. His muscles tensed as I came forward and he seemed to be bracing himself for anything and everything, eyes locked on me. I crouched in front of him and held my hands out to him.

"Give me your wrists." The cuffs he wore were magically sealed, needing the blood of the captor to release them, a biometric security system that prevented anyone held within them from picking the lock, so to speak. He glared skeptically at me and I waited there patiently while he thought things through. Finally he held his wrists out to me. I rotated the cuffs so that the spikes sticking out the side of them was facing me. I jabbed my thumbs onto them, the pain instant. His eyes flicked up to my face as he tried to figure out what the fuck I was doing. My blood trailed down the etchings within the cuffs and when they filled the cuffs glowed a dull purple and I pulled my hands back as the clink of the locking mechanism released, sending them clattering to the floor. I stood and stared down at him as he rubbed his wrists.

"You may leave if you really wish. You may either work for me or you can leave. Those are your options. Regardless of which one you choose you should know that the safety of my people is paramount to me. If you should choose to harm any of them I will personally kill you." I walked away from him as the panic of actually having to carry out my threat stole the air from my lungs. I had my hand on the doorknob when he spoke.

"How do you know I won't just kill _you_?"

"I don't." I swung the door open leaving it open as I stepped out into the hallway and he called to me again.

"Why did you spare me, little queen?"

"What makes you think I am? This world we live in is cruel and chaotic. It would have been a mercy to kill you." And even as I said the words I knew in my heart I might never have the strength to ever harm him. I moved briskly back up the hallway, taking the stairs two at a time. I threw the door open with so much force that Twister, who had been walking down the hallway, jumped and reached for his gun before noticing it was me. His eyes widened at whatever he saw on my face.

"Are you doing anything, Twister?" He shook his head a little too fast.

"Not currently, m'lady." That thick, honeyed, American accent was thick with his shock. I stepped to the side and pointed to the wall next to the door.

"Stand here. When Zero comes up these steps you are to ask him which he chose, one or two. If he says one you are to bring him to me and make sure he knows where he is going. If he chooses two you are to tell him that you were instructed to escort him off campus grounds and inform him that I am a woman of my word and that if he believes anything of me, believe that." I took off the necklace I wore that had only one thing on it, a ring, and handed it to him. "Take this as a token from me so that he knows you are one of my men."

"M'lady?" He was confused but I didn't have an explanation for him. I turned away and began walking down the hallway.

"Don't lose my necklace, Twister. I'm going to want that back. I'll be in the headmaster's office, find me there." I called over my shoulder.

"Yes, ma'am." I bounded up the steps as fast as I could and ran down the hallway. Tears were streaming down my face as I swept into my father's office, closing the door and leaning face first on it, breathing hard as my chest felt like it was trying to cave in on itself. I felt my father moving behind me.

"Yuki? What is wrong?" I shook my head and held a hand backwards in a silent gesture for him to stop. I took several deep breaths and swiped the tears from my face. When I was calm enough I turned to face him. His face was crumbled into something of pain and confusion. I began pacing his office.

"Yuki?" I just shook my head and silently paced his office in fast, agitated circles. I had a circuit worked out: door, desk, door, window, door, desk, door, window. My father sighed and sat in the chair behind his desk, fingers steepled in front of his mouth, watching me pace. I don't know how long I paced like that but I was halfway through another circuit when there was a knock at the door. I spun in front of the desk.

"Yes, come in." I called. The door cracked and Twister poked his head in. I impatiently gestured him in and he came, opening the door wide to show he was by himself. My shoulders slumped as he closed the door fiddling nervously with my necklace as he came forward.

"He chose two." I nodded.

"I see this." I mumbled. He held my necklace out to me and took two ginger steps forward as if he was used to being smacked around for being the bearer of bad news.

"Your necklace, m'lady." I took the final step forward and gently took it from his fingers.

"Thank you, Twister." He shuffled his feet, looking at the floor then back up to me.

"Do you require me for anything else, ma'am?" I shook my head but he clearly needed verbal verification because he didn't move.

"You may go." He bowed his head and left. My hand trembled as I held that stupid necklace. The silver of the chain blurred before my eyes so that all I saw was that it was shiny. I flinched as the first tear plopped down on my hand. I jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I hadn't even heard him move.

"Yuki? Talk to me. What has happened?" The concern laden in his voice is what unraveled me. I looked up into those loving eyes.

"I let him go." The broken pieces of my heart seized in my chest.

"Who? Who did you let go, Yuki?"

"Zero. He's gone." The words came out as a bare whisper. His arms wrapped around me and I clung to him as I cried out all the agony of my heart as it broke...again. When I was calm enough I told him what I'd done and we cried together. We ended up on the floor with my head in his lap as he ran his fingers soothingly through my hair. We were quite for so long as we sat like that.

"He'll come back to us, my child." I didn't know if I wanted to believe him. After so much heartache isn't it better to just cut it out, mourn its loss and be done with it? I didn't know anymore.

… **...**

 **Two and a half months later**

After two months of hard re-construction the Star dorm and the gates to the academy were once again whole. Tonight marked the reopening of the academy and the very first Humans And Vampires Against Violence (HAVAV) conference. I had spent the last two months while the academy was deserted founding this movement with the support of the Coalition for Vampire and Human Relations (CVHR) that Kaname and I ran with my co-founder, Dai Moto, Prime Minister of Japan and my my Executive Minister of Outreach and Relations, Kaien Cross. I had tried to convince my father that it was dangerous for him to get involved in anything like this. He'd simply smiled and said, _"_ _I'm already involved, my child. Having said that,_ _I'd like to really help, not just passively observe."_ I smiled as the man in question walked through the open door of my room, fiddling with the bow-tie at his throat. He grumbled at it and I laughed. Ruka lightly tapped my back, having finished lacing my dress.

"There you go, my queen."

"Thank you, Ruka." My father looked up and the look of awe on his face made me blush.

I looked away from him to check my dress, making sure everything was in place. This was, of course, a very formal occasion so I was once again dressed to impress. The dress was gold with silver swirling in dazzling designs all through it. The bodice was one of those stiff, mock-corset kinds with a slender V that plunged about half-way down my breasts that were lifted and held perfectly in place so that I had ample cleavage without it being scandalous or slutty. From the hips down the material fell loosely off to the right leg, the slit on the left side going nearly up to my hip. I had thought the dress was a little risque but everyone had assured me that I looked fine. They'd actually used terms like amazing, fantastic and mouth-watering in Twister's case.

There was no straps to the dress so the Topaz gem on the thin silver chain that rested just above the mounds of my breasts and the upper arm bracelet on my right arm that matched was very noticeable, simple and elegant but noticeable nonetheless. Ruka had curled my hair and styled it in an up-do that made it appear as if my hair fell around my face and neck in a waterfall of mahogany spirals. The make-up looked simple but yet again I knew it wasn't. My large red-brown eyes looked more red-amber with the pale gold eyeshadow, accented with silver up towards the eyebrows and a plum lipstick that made my skin look even more ethereal while also making my eyes pop. The heels were a simple silver, very open and strappy design that climbed about half-way up my calves. I had to admit that I looked pretty good. I heard a sniffle from behind me and turned, laughing at the tears my father was wiping away.

"You look amazing! Oh, my beautiful little girl!" He came forward and hugged me tightly. Ruka slapped at him.

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch the hair!" We all laughed and he backed away. Ruka made a noise at the back of her throat. "Come here." She said to him, stepping between us as she undid his tie and began fixing it the way she wanted it.

Through all of this Ruka had become the sort of unofficial fashion coordinator. She'd made sure that Dai's, Kaname's and my father's ties matched my dress, a small symbolic gesture of our partnership, one I'm sure would not go unnoticed. Ruka was dressed in a black business skirt, a simple white button-down with silver pinstripes and a small black vest with small pumps to match. All the guards were dressed in formal attire similar to hers. They'd all gotten to choose what they wore and dress themselves but it all had to be Ruka approved.

I frowned at her. For the past week or so she had started wandering around with an iPod and headphones blaring. She took it with her everywhere, even going so far as to keep a second, fully charged iPod in her pocket. With all her fussing about fashion she still had her music blaring. When anyone asked her why the music obsession she'd spout out some excuse about needing a distraction from her thoughts and no matter what she never turned it off. Twister had playfully tried to snatch her headphones once and she'd pinned him against a wall in a flat second, face twisted into something very serious in front of several of the newer guards. Word had spread quick and no one dared touch her music again, playfully or otherwise.

"Can you step out of the room for a few minutes, father?" He glanced at me with a raised eyebrow before nodding and turning for the door.

"I'll be in the hallway when you're done." He glanced between the two of us before he closed the door behind him. The room was quiet for a second before Ruka smiled at me.

"Need to find someplace to store Artemis?" I stared at her for a second before walking over to the bed and snatching Artemis up, kicking my right leg up on the bed and lifting my dress so that I could strap her onto her typical spot on my thigh.

"Turn it off." I said as I put my foot back on the floor.

"Pardon me?" I turned to face her, crossing my arms across my chest.

"You heard me. Turn it off." Her face went blank for a second before she smiled brilliantly.

"I won't wear it through the conference, I swear. I just need it to distract me from my thoughts until after I escort you and Lord Kaname there." She was definitely hiding something.

"Turn it off, Ruka." Her eyes reflected a near panic as she looked away from me. Was it really just something to calm her nerves? This was the first time either of us had been around Kaname since I'd sent him away. Maybe she really did just need a distraction, but just in case it _was_ something else I had to be sure.

"Lady Yuki, please. Just let me-"

"I said turn the damned thing off, Ruka. This is not a request." Her shoulders slumped and I'd swear there was a shimmer of tears in her eyes as she grabbed the headphones draped around her neck, ripping them almost violently out of her iPod.

"Was that so-" I paused listening hard in the silence. She watched me with wide eyes brimmed with tears, waiting like a deer in headlights for the impact. My eyes widened and rage flooded through me so fast I staggered back a step.

"When?" She looked down at the floor, hands clasped in front of her like a guilty child being scolded. "WHEN?" I screamed it at her as the world took on a red tint around the edges. She flinched.

"I-I don't know. M-maybe six hours or s-so before Mr. Moto c-c-called." She blubbered out the words around small sobs. I flung the door open and was through it before I even had time to register that I was moving.

"Yuki? What's wrong?" My father called after me. I was already half-way down the hallway when I heard Ruka running after me.

"LADY YUKI!" Her sobs traveled after me "MY QUEEN!" I rounded another corner. "PLEASE! MY QUEEN, I-" I screeched to a halt just around the bend of another corner and spun just as she came bounding around it. She came to such a sudden stop that she fell right into my arms. I shoved her back to her feet, skin burning hot with my rage.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" Her face was red, nose running as she sobbed out an answer. Real crying was never pretty.

"I-I didn't k-know. I swear I didn't know u-until six days ago. I s-s-swear."

"So what you two just thought you'd do this shit right under my fucking nose?" My voice was low with a dangerous edge. "I do not fucking think so." I spun away from her and began stalking down the hallway towards where Kaname was staying for the duration of the conference.

"Lady Yuki!" I ignored her and kept walking. Her hands wrapped around my wrist and that did stop me. I turned slowly to look at where she grabbed me.

"Please! Please, I beg you! I beg you, don't do this!" Her eyes were wide with desperation.

"He doesn't know does he." It wasn't a question but she knew exactly what I meant. She shook her head too fast and too much. I closed my eyes, trying to think rationally, taking deep, even breaths which was a little difficult when I could hear the very thing she'd so desperately tried to hide fluttering in my ears. Now that I'd heard it I couldn't stop hearing it.

"Was it mutual, Ruka?"

"I-I-I-..."

"It wasn't a trick question, Ruka. _Was. It. Mutual?_ " I ground out the last between clenched teeth. I heard her swallow and opened my eyes to look at her. I thought I was being fair. It took two to make a decision like this...unless it was forced, which I highly doubted. I thought I'd ask though and get my facts straight before I kicked in his door screaming and ranting. She finally nodded, looking down at the floor. I saw the world in shades of red and my fangs ripped my gums as they forced their way out faster than they should have as a result of the uncontrollable rage flowing through me.

"Your touch offends me. Remove it." My words lisped around my battle length fangs. She sobbed and released me. I turned and began stalking down the hallway again. Her voice came quiet and broken behind me.

"Please. He doesn't know." I turned enough so that I could see her standing where I'd left her, staring down at the floor like a dejected puppy.

"He's about to. We're going to tell him." I turned back around and started moving again. "Come, Ruka, we haven't all night." I heard her moving behind me as I rounded the final corner. Rima and a man I was unfamiliar with stood guard at his door. I stopped in front of them, waiting for Ruka to catch up. She stood behind me. Rima glanced at her then to me.

"Lady Yuki-"

"Move." She opened her mouth to say something but I cut her off before she could speak. "Rima." The warning in my voice shut her mouth and she stepped to the side eyes locked on me as she did it.

"Stein." The man glanced at her then shrugged and stepped to the side. I flung the door open and stood there, as the sounds and smell of sex assaulted me.

" _Ah, fuck."_ Stein mumbled with feeling under his breath. Clearly he was hoping the show would be over. Close, but no cigar.

Ruka shook beside me in the doorway as we both were privileged with seeing the climax of the show. Kaname had some woman bent over the end of the bed, shoving his body in and out of hers in slow, languorous movements. The woman moaned loudly again and again as her hands clawed at the bed spread in ecstasy. He threw his head back and shouted his release, a fine sheen of sweat gleaming down the taught muscles of his body, dark hair lank with his exertions, clinging to his skin where it touched. His back was red where she'd used it as a scratching post showing that they had been doing this for long enough to have switched positions, a couple times I'd bet. He fell forward, catching himself above the woman on shaky arms. I clapped as I made my way into the room. His head whipped around to face me.

"Very well done." I felt cold and dead inside as I calmly sat down on the plush chair by the window. "Japanese judge gives you a 6.2 for originality, getting caught by the ex-wife boosted your score, and a 7.8 for aesthetically pleasing climax but a 0 for your pull-out game. You really should work on that you know." He gently withdrew himself from the woman, standing on shaky legs and holding himself steady with a hand on the bed-post. "If I know you, which I do, you didn't use a condom." He turned to face me, leaning against the post now. I gestured at his nude body in an I told you so gesture. "What do ya know. No condom."

"Yuki?" I gestured to the woman still bent over the bed with her face buried in it as she tried desperately to go unnoticed.

"Who's the girl?"

"She's a new addition to my guards." I raised an eyebrow at that.

"Yeah. I never would have guessed that one. I didn't ask for her position within your ranks I asked who she was." I looked her over before looking back to Kaname who had eyes only for Ruka. "Stand up, girl."

"Lady-"

"I said stand the fuck up!" She moved slowly as if she was hurting but I knew she wasn't. Kaname didn't do rough play. If she was hurting it was from embarrassment. Kaname was staring at me now.

"Ruka? Would you like to see who the _other_ other woman is?" I looked at her to see her swallow hard, eyes shining bright with unshed tears but she didn't answer. I settled back into the chair and crossed my left leg over the right, exposing my leg in a long line and folded my hands across my stomach. "Well, I certainly would. Won't you face us, darling?" The woman stayed immobile, trembling where she stood.

"Come, come now. No need to be shy, honey. We've already seen most of what you have to offer." She still stayed immobile and my rage flared through me again. "I want a name and a face from you, woman or you will see a side of me that will haunt your nightmares." My words crawled out of my throat on a low growl. Kaname couldn't decide if he wanted to look at me of Ruka. The girl slowly turned around, trying to hide her face with a veil of her hair.

"I wouldn't try my patience if I were you. Move the fucking hair." She lifted her hand slowly lifting her chin as her face was finally revealed. Ruka screamed, a short, choked sound before staggering back through the door. I heard her running down the hallway. The girl stared at the doorway where Ruka had just disappeared through, tears pouring down her face. I had never heard anything like what I'd just heard come from Ruka and despite how mad I was at her it hurt my heart to hear that. I glared at the woman before me.

"What is your name and do not make me ask again." She wouldn't look at me. Instead she stared at the wall right next to me.

"Tsukiko Aido, Lady Kuran." I tasted bile at the back of my throat as my heart raced.

"As in Hanabusa Aido?" Busa's blonde hair and his blue eyes gleamed out of that so pretty face and I knew who she was without her having to answer but I'd asked, so she answered anyway.

"He is my brother, my lady." I stared over at Kaname in outrage and disgust.

"You fucked her _cousin_?" I spat the last word at him and all he could do was stare at me defiance, the gleam of challenge sparkling in his eyes.

"Leave us, girl. Go. Quickly." I spoke without looking away from the man in front of me. She snatched the top blanket off the bed and scrambled out of the room while attempting to wrap herself in it. When she was out of the room I spoke.

"You did this intentionally. You could have had anyone but you chose her. Why?"

"That is none of your concern." I saw red again.

"You have compromised one of my guards. I think it _is_ my concern." He shrugged. I stood and stalked across the carpet, stopping just in front of him.

"You disgust me, you know that? You fuck who you want when you want with absolutely no regard for others don't you?" He raised his eyebrows a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"You've been keeping tabs on who I fuck now? I thought you didn't give a damn who I slept with?" I laughed a bitter sound and shook my head.

"You have no idea what you just did to Ruka. Are you going to fuck your way through all the females in her family?"

"That is no longer any of your concern." I glared at him before shrugging.

"Yeah. You're right. Just answer one question for me. Did you fuck her to try to prove to yourself that Ruka isn't special to you or was it all for Ruka's benefit? Don't even try to convince me that all this wasn't staged because I wouldn't believe you. My money is that it's a little bit of both." His eyes finally gleamed with a rage similar to my own. I scoffed and nodded. "That's what I thought." I turned away from him to leave and he wrapped his hand in a vice grip around my upper arm. Yanking me back around to face him.

"I didn't answer your question." I felt my eyes fill with ice as I fought not to hit him.

"I don't need it. But if you want to play the honesty game how about you tell me how long you and Ruka were fucking behind my back after you told me you would no longer bed her?" He released me so fast I stumbled. I watched him pace a tight circle, glaring at me as he moved.

"How long have you known?" I grinned at him, which was definitely more a snarl than anything else.

"That doesn't matter does it? I have other things we can talk about, for example, like how you and her fucked for hours before you found me in Zero's bed and pretended to be the scorned lover. Yeah. Let's talk about that." He screamed in frustration.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I-"

"YOU WHAT?" I screamed back at him. "Go ahead and tell me how you didn't love her, Kaname. Go ahead and try to justify your actions with that bullshit, because I got a secret to tell you." I stalked right up to him. "You'd better get over yourself. Love her don't love her. It doesn't matter." I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned up on tiptoe. "She's pregnant." I whispered in his ear." I moved so I could look him in the face as I smiled brightly up at him. "I do believe congratulations are in order, Kaname. You're going to be a daddy!" I threaded my fingers through his still damp hair and kissed him full on the mouth before pulling away. He looked like I'd just told him he only had twenty-four hours left to live, face so shocked I couldn't help but laugh. I licked my lips, watching his face as I rolled the combined flavor of him and his lover around on my tongue.

"Hmmmmm...such a bittersweet flavor. Appropriate, no?" I smiled and turned from him, moving toward the door that still stood open.

"Clean yourself up and at least try to make an appearance at the conference/banquet thing your supposed to help host."

"Yuki...I..." I turned and grinned at him.

"Fucked up?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "Yep. You could say that again." I grabbed the door and was about to close it but stopped and poked my head back in.

"Oh yeah!" My voice was a high-pitched falsetto of phony joy. "Congratulations, asshole." I winked at him and closed the door, ignoring the shock on the faces of Stein and Rima.

I laughed and shook my head as I strutted down the hallway. I still had a party to attend. I wasn't much of a drinker but I think maybe just for tonight, I'd make an exception.

 **A/N- Ummmmmmm...Surprise? Lol. Okay, phew! Now that I got that out of my system I really am taking a brief hiatus from this fic until I can finish an ongoing project that is long overdue. I hope to hear from you guys about this chapter. It came out a bit lengthier than I'd originally intended but hey, I wasn't supposed to write it in the first place. What did you guys think about the brief foray into Kaname's POV? As I said before I will answer any questions you post in the review in a PM so if you want to talk you know how to reach me.**

 **Maybe I'll finally be able to get a decent night's sleep now that this chapter is done. Or my muses are simply going to torture me into submission with insomnia...but I'm gonna** ** _try_** **to refrain for a little bit. Ciao for now, my friends! I really hope you enjoyed the read!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Greetings, ladies and gents! I'm back with another chapter for your reading pleasure. First, thank you to all of you who reviewed last chapter: TaylaK11, myra k kuran, xXArtemis-RoseXx, HarleyWorld4evrevr, louisetuazon.1025, The Psycho Vampire and ben4kevin.** **I absolutely** _ **loved**_ **all of your reviews! That I can cause such reactions to any reader at all is flattering and you all are experts in such an art. So, thank you, thank you, thank you! **blows kisses** :-* :-* Your reviews all really mean a lot to me! :-* And welcome to those new to this story! I'm glad to have you!**

 **It has come to my attention that some of what happened in the last scene in chapter five was a bit confusing for some people. I will clarify some things in this chapter. I have also been asked by several people what was in Ruka's iPod, so below the disclaimer** **I have listed some of the songs I think Ruka might have listened to, but mainly they are a handful of the songs that have motivated me throughout the last couple chapters (WARNING: Some of the songs in this list are extremely graphic, but if you're still reading this fic you should be used to it). I hope you enjoy this chapter! ;-)**

 **DISCLAIMER- Extremely graphic sexual content, intensely gory descriptions, profane language, and so on.**

 **The Only One- SoMo**

 **Heartbreaker- G-Dragon**

 **String Theory- Les Friction**

 **Dark Side- Kelly Clarkson**

 **Mighty Fall- Fall Out Boy**

 **For Your Entertainment- Adam Lambert**

 **Apocalyptic- Halestorm**

 **What Is Love- Haddaway**

 **What Hurts the Most- Rascal Flatts**

 **Wet- Snoop Dogg**

 **Insatiable- Darren Hayes**

 **We Can Make Love- SoMo**

 **Hypnotik- Keys N Krates**

 **Mama- EXO-K**

 **Forevermore- Broken Iris**

 **Familiar Taste of Poison- Halestorm**

 **Fortune Days- The Glitch Mob**

 **Wicked Game- Chris Isaac**

 **Fuck U Betta- Neon Hitch**

 **Taking You Down- Egypt Central**

 **Distorted Love- Enigma**

 **You give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi**

 **Black Out the Sun- Darren Hayes**

 **Fuck You all the Time (schlohmo remix)- Jeremih ft. Natasha Mosely**

 **Getting Away With Murder- Papa Roach**

 **Dead Souls- Nine Inch Nails**

 **Weekend (Jai Wolf Remix)- Mocki**

 **Waiting All Night- Rudimental ft. Ella Eyre**

 **Go- Delilah ft. Enigma**

 **Touchness- Enigma**

 **Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)- 98 Degrees**

 **Going Down in Flames- 3 Doors Down**

 **Sally's Song- Amy Lee (most haunting, spot on song for Kaname and Ruka's relationship)**

 **Going Under- Evanescence**

 **Gravity of Love- Enigma**

 **Principles of Lust- Enigma**

 **Wkreceni Nie Ufaj Mi- Igor Herbut**

 **Shot in the Dark- Within Temptation**

 **I Just Wanna Run- The Downtown Fiction**

 **White Rabbit- Egypt Central**

 **Never Be Like You- Flume ft. Kai**

 **Gun in My Hand- DOROTHY**

 **Bodies- Drowning Pool**

 **Satisfied- Aranda**

 **Headstrong- Trapt**

 **Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes**

 **Sex Type Thing- Stone Temple Pilot**

 **Shatter Me- Lindsey Stirling ft. Lizzy Hale**

 **Super Psycho Love- Simon Curtis**

 **Another Brick in the Wall part two- Pink Floyd**

 **See You Again- Whiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth**

 **Take Me to Church- Hozier**

 **Je T'aime Till My Dying Day- Enigma**

 **Closer- Nine Inch Nails**

 **My Religion- Castelli**

 **Come Back to Me- Les Friction**

 **Not Listening- Papa Roach**

 **Le Bien Qui Fait Mal- Mozart L'opera Rock**

I followed the damp, salty scent of tears down a long, seemingly endless maze of hallways and sighed. I was going to be late to my own party. I tried to be pissed but couldn't find it in me at the moment. For some reason all I could see was the horror, the betrayal on Ruka's face when Tsukiko had turned around. The look of fear on her face when I'd found out about the baby, the sheer terror shining in her eyes. I shook my head and focused instead on the memory of Kaname's face when I'd told him he was the father. I rounded the final corner and had to stop, closing my eyes for a moment to just smell the air. I knew from the faint smell that she was somewhere behind one of the doors in this hallway and growled under my breath.

"Goddammit, Ruka." I wasn't sure how he had done it but my father had made each of these rooms into a personalized little bubble so that unless you were doing something like, oh I don't know, marathon sex? You could go unnoticed. Completely sound proof and virtually smell proof, and undeniably genius but right now all it was going to do was slow me down.

"RUKA! COME OUT!" I bellowed it and the sound was nearly deafening in the silence of the dorm. I stood in the center of the hallway, slowly meandering down it, waiting. I stopped and placed my hands on my hips, letting my head hang between my shoulder blades.

"Come on, Ruka! We're going to be late!" I waited for a few minutes that felt like forever before I heard the soft click of a latch. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, preparing myself to see on her face the misery I could smell. It was an acrid, salty flavor that had a bitter aftertaste. I raised my head and turned around to face her. I'd passed right by the room she was in only two doors back. I thought I'd be ready for what I'd see but I was wrong. My heart clenched tight and my mouth went dry as tears burned up the back of my throat. Her face was as beautiful as it always was but the pain was there under that unholy beauty, glowing out from those coffee-colored eyes that I was so familiar with, twisting them into something completely new and heartbreaking. Oh god, Ruka. I took a few steps toward her and she outwardly flinched, looking down at the floor. I shook my head.

"Look at me." She shook her head.

"One's heart can only bear so much, my queen. I do not think I could see that look of anger, hatred, that I saw in your eyes earlier. I have shamed you, dishonored your trust in me, betrayed the friendship you offered me. I deserve whatever you choose to give me as punishment and more." I frowned at her. What was it with vampires? Were they all suckers for punishment?

"And what punishment would you think appropriate for these crimes, Ruka?" She flinched and was quiet for a moment before blurting out her answer.

"Betrayal is never a crime to take lightly but you are the queen. To betray you is treason. The punishment for treason is my head. There is no punishment that holds more weight among my list of crimes." I raised my eyebrows and shook my head as anger began to kindle within me.

"Oh is that all?" The sarcasm in my voice was thick enough to walk on. She glanced up at me in wide eyed confusion before averting her eyes back to the floor.

"If my head is worth nothing to you you may take anything else you deem appropriate, my lady, as is your right." I stared in awe for a moment at the flat expanse of her stomach where that tiny little heartbeat pattering at nearly twice my own rate reminded me over a hundred times a minute of its existence, the very existence that Ruka had so diligently covered up with her iPod obsession for nearly a week. A flare of rage went through me and I looked back up to her bowed head.

"And what of the babe growing in your womb? You would wish your punishment to extend to it as well?" I heard her swallow as her hand fluttered to her stomach in a subconscious motion that already seemed automatic before she realized what she'd done and forced her hand back to her side.

"It has always fallen to the child to suffer the sins of their forefathers. This child was damned the moment it was planted within me." My mouth fell open and I moved without thought. My fist connected solidly with her jaw, spinning her in a quick circle before she crashed to the floor. She looked up at me in surprise from the ground, hand holding her jaw. I had never hit Ruka before. I glared down at her.

"You- you-..." I growled and squeezed my eyes shut, hands shaking at my sides in fists clenched tight. "Look what you made me do. I never thought I'd ever stoop low enough to hit a pregnant woman, Ruka Souen but _damn you_!" I opened my eyes to see her shaking her head at me.

"What? What would you have of me, my queen? Just ask and it will be yours." There was a desperate edge to her voice and all it did was piss me off.

"Dammit, Ruka! I want you to fight!"

"W-what? You wish me to fight you, my queen?" I stopped and thought about that before nodding.

"Yes. I believe I do." She shook her head and stood slowly.

"I will not." I took a step closer to her.

"So you will defy trust, honor, loyalty and friendship to lie with my husband behind my back and have him fill your belly with his child but you will not fight me to defend that very child?" She opened her mouth to say something and I cut her off. "Choose your words wisely, Ruka because depending on what they are they may be your last in my presence." My heart twisted with the words but I screamed internally at it to shut the fuck up. It would break my heart, the poor abused thing, to see Ruka go but I couldn't kill her. I didn't have it in me to kill my friend, especially when I'd be stealing not one but two lives. However, if she answered the way I feared she may then she was not the woman I'd thought her to be. She was quiet for a long few minutes before responding while staring down at the carpet at her feet.

"I always thought pregnancy would be a nightmare of swelling limbs and bouts of sickness but here I am almost three months pregnant and it has passed peacefully. I did not know about the babe until six days ago, I swear to it, but I do not deny it already commands a sizable portion of my heart and mind. Still you are my queen and it is your right to claim my life for my crimes if you should choose. That is out of my hands. I would defend my baby with all I had if it's life was apart from my own but it is not and so we both stand defenseless before your judgment." I scoffed and turned from her, walking a little ways down the hallway. I sucked in a sharp breath and closed my eyes.

"In all our travels together over the past years I have gained many scars and more knowledge than I know what to do with at times, but no such learnings were as personal as the ones I learned in Ireland." I sighed and swallowed hard. "I spoke at length in a pub on that island with a middle-aged woman. I was weary of politics, gossip and cameras and used my glamour to disguise myself so that I could sit in peace at a pub and be just another patron. I sat at a table in the corner and after a few drinks this woman came up to me and introduced herself as Colleen, asking if I wouldn't mind some company. I saw no harm in it and after a few minutes of silence, me watching the crowd and her watching me, she spoke to me again. _"_ _One so young as yourself should not worry so, love."_ She was smart as a whip, witty, funny even and astute as hell. A lovely woman by every definition. I must have sat there for hours talking to her when she finally leaned forward and said to me, _"_ _Your glamour is slipping, love."_ I was so shocked I tried to leave but she placed a hand gently on the back of mine, such a small touch that stopped me. _"_ _I have known who you are the entire time. Please, sit with me a while longer."_ I sat and naturally I was curious how she had seen through my glamour so I asked to which she laughed. _"_ _To anyone else you would appear the lovely, average woman you project. But I am not anyone else. You'd be hard pressed to hide your true self from an Irish-Witch under glamour, my dear. We Irish are more familiar with such illusions than our American friends are with Beyonce."_ I came to find out that Colleen was a High Priestess of a coven in the area that had come together again for Féile Draíochta, a small festival for the pagan community. She told me something. She-" I took a deep breath as her words floated through my mind. I held that breath for so long that Ruka actually spoke up.

"My queen?" I nodded and let out that shaking breath.

"' _Within every woman lay three queens, lady. The maiden, the mother and the crone. We are all queens by nature.'_ She leaned in to me and held my hands between both of hers, looking right into my eyes. _'You are queen by title and duty, the mother of a great many lives not born of you but whose fates rest in your hands regardless. Now, you must listen to me very carefully, lady."_ The sincerity and fire I saw in her eyes that night haunt me still."

"What did she say?" Tears burned my eyes and I swallowed hard.

" _'For you the path to motherhood is narrow. There is only one man who will ever be capable of swelling your womb with life but your path to him is obscured by a powerful and magical love sown in the womb of another. Lose him to her and you will remain mother in name and title but never shall your breast feed a mouth born of breath given by you.'_ " My tears flowed down my face for the first time since the start of the evening. I swiped them away and turned to face her to find her eyes wide with pain, tears flowing down that lovely face, hands flattened across her stomach. I nodded. "You see now." She shook her head and took a step toward me.

"No it cannot be true. She wove lies around you!" I smiled sadly.

"I said the same when she told me. _'Divination is my shtick, love. Believe or don't believe just know that I am not always right but my readings are usually very accurate.'_ "

"You see! She could be wrong!"

"I was as sure then as I am now that Kaname was who she spoke of and somehow I don't believe she was wrong when everything she predicted seems to be true." I looked right into her eyes and cocked my head. "Neither do you." She opened her mouth as if to speak, closing it several times looking like a fish out of water.

"Y-Yuki I-..." She shook her head.

"I know." I said.

"If what you say is true then what I have done is truly unspeakable. You will never be able to provide an heir for your King." I smiled and came forward until I was right in front of her. Her eyes widened and her breathing sped, waiting for me to hurt her in some way. I placed my hand on the flat of her stomach and felt that tiny heart beat. I looked down at my hand there and smiled softly.

"No. I will not. I am barren. But that is not as bad as it sounds." Her hands wrapped gently around my wrist, holding my hand to her belly.

"Do not humble this situation, Yuki." I snatched my hand back and glared at her from less than a foot away. It must have been a good glare because she flinched again.

"I'm not. You have stolen my husband and any babies I might have bore by stepping on my friendship so yes, I am mad. I'm fucking livid!" She winced and looked away from me. "However, I do not hate you, Ruka. I have never hated you. You knew and have loved Kaname longer than I and maybe if I had been more vigilant, more cruel about shoving you away he would be in my arms still and it would be _my_ body swelling with life." Her eyes were wide and brimmed with tears as she stared at me. "I will not blame you for things beyond your control. It is simply not who I am. If you were a worse person, if you were as awful as the man I thought I would love forever and always I would be able to hate you. But I cannot because you are _not_ that person. You are Ruka: my guard, soldier, companion, confidant and my friend." She blubbered at that point and I smiled, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I am barren, yes. Kaname is _a Lord_ , yes, but he is not _my_ king. And in case you forgot, I'm sort of on retainer as Queen until he finds my replacement. So, the whole providing an heir thing for me is null and void. You on the other hand, my friend, are a perfect candidate."

She was actually bawling again, the not so pretty, nose running, skin blotching, real kind of crying. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her tight. I was shorter than she by seven inches so hugging her put my head about mid-breast but I was comfortable with it. They were large, soft breasts that made excellent pillows. She hesitated for a moment before hugging me back in a way that was so ferocious it reminded me of my father. I chuckled and pulled back enough to reach up and wipe her tears away again.

"I thought you would hate me, kill me even." I frowned at her.

"You know, that kind of hurts. What kind of woman do you take me for that you'd think I would kill you, especially while pregnant with my husband's child." I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and smiled. "Welllll...now that I've said it aloud I realize how ridiculous that sounds." She chuckled and hugged me to her again.

"Many a woman has killed for much lesser an offense." I frowned as I wondered if it made me a better or worse woman for not doing just what she proposed, especially since I _could_ kill her with absolutely no legal ramifications whatsoever. I thought about it and finally decided...nope. I couldn't do it. Did that make me weak? If it did then oh fucking well. My decision might come back to bite me in the ass one day, but until then I was comfortable with it. I pulled away and cleared my throat.

"Wipe the tears from your face, woman. We have a party to get to." She laughed and began wiping her face clear. It was a good thing she hadn't put on a lot of makeup, and what she had on was waterproof as fuck apparently.

"We are going to be very late." She said, voice still gruff from all the crying. I winked at her.

"Fashionably so." She chuckled and we began trotting down the hallway.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. She raised her eyebrows at me with a small smile at the joy on my face. "I hope you don't mind but I sort of told Kaname."

"You told him...?"

"Yep." She seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding with a small smile.

"I think I am grateful that you did that. I did not want to have to tell him myself and once again you saved me from something undesirable." I laughed and couldn't seem to stop.

"Oh god, Ruka. You should have seen his face when I told him he was your baby-daddy. I wish you could have seen it." We both laughed. "It was...fucking fantastic!" I was nearly in tears and when we rounded the corner and I saw Kaname leaving his room I dissolved into hysterical giggling to the point where Ruka had to grab my arm to steady me as we walked. He turned and glanced at us before fleeing down the hallway. I had to stop and was doubled over laughing, which was how Hanabusa and Senri found me. Ruka was grinning like an idiot, laughing softly in comparison to me.

"Lady Yuki?" Senri raised a single eyebrow as he spoke. I held up one finger toward him in the universal sign to give me a moment as I couldn't actually speak. I leaned against a wall, arm holding my ribs in place that seemed insistent on cracking under the weight of my glee.

"Oh fuck." I finally mumbled out when I could breathe again, only chuckling now. "Damn. Whew! I needed that laugh." Both of the boys were smiling as they watched me stand from my hunkered position against the wall. "What's up, guys?"

"We were-" Senri stopped and cocked his head to the side like he was listening to something, a reaction that reminded me of my own. Both of them looked at Ruka who thrust her chin higher in the air as if daring them to say something. Busa's jaw damn near hit the floor, eyes widening as he hesitantly looked back at me. I smiled wider.

"It's okay boys. I'm fine with it." Senri's eyebrows reached for the heavens which is about all I saw before I watched Busa move slowly towards Ruka at first and then he had her in a bear hug around the waist, lifting her high enough off the floor that he stood straight and had his ear pressed to her stomach. He grinned as he spun her in fast circles of joy. She laughed a high pitched sound, that girly squeal of laughter that almost every woman was capable of.

"Busa put me down!" She laughed out. He spun her several more times before complying but he didn't let go of her or even move his head from her stomach as he planted her feet firmly on the floor before dropping to his knees in front of her. I smiled as he nuzzled his cheek against her stomach. He pulled back enough to look into her face over the mounds of her breasts.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" She laughed and shrugged happily.

"I have no idea. It's too early yet to tell, Busa." He laughed and placed his ear back against her stomach. The pure joy on his face was beautiful.

"I think it's gonna be a girl who's just as beautiful as her momma." He started mumbling under his breath to Ruka's belly and I watched as she began crying again, placing her hand against the side of Busa's head as he reacted to the news in the way of anyone who truly loves someone else. I knew, saw in that moment the real affection between the two of them.

"Hi, baby! I'm your cousin, Hanabusa, but you can call me Busa for short, okay? And I'm going to spoil you so thoroughly you're going to come out of there rotten!" He was rubbing his fingers in tiny circles against Ruka's stomach as he spoke to the baby.

Tears stung my eyes and my heart swelled in my chest to the point where I thought I might die right there from cuteness overload. One day Hanabusa would be the best father any child could have, I needed no more evidence than the man I'd seen slay countless enemies, a fierce warrior, on his knees before a pregnant woman that wasn't even his own. I glanced over to see even Senri was watching the show with awe shining in those blue-gray eyes and a mild joy stretching that perfect mouth into a genuine smile that was as rare as it was beautiful.

Pregnancy among vampire women was rare. It took a larger toll on our bodies and our gestation period was twelve months because our bodies can't nurture a baby like humans can. When a vampire woman is pregnant it is usually a matter of great celebration, joy and happiness is contagious. However, pregnancy for us is more prone to complication than for humans, something to do with the whole nurturing imbalance. It's also widely known as being the field of study within our race in which medicine stands about a 50/50 chance of being accurate. Even knowing that I couldn't look at the way Hanabusa laughed and spoke to Ruka's stomach in pure bliss and not smile with them.

I felt ashamed for a moment. I was the first to know and now several more people knew and only Busa had made this whole thing seem like the miracle it was. I turned to Senri, the happy glow dimmed but not gone.

"What were you going to say, Senri?" He cleared his throat and turned to face me.

"Headmaster Cross sent us to figure out where you and Ruka had disappeared to and to tell you that the 'natives are growing restless.'" He did air quotes around the last and I smiled. His eyes flicked back over to Ruka and Busa. I chuckled which made him look at me again. I motioned toward Ruka with my head.

"Go ahead. When you are finished we will go to the party." He smiled slightly and dipped his head, walking quickly around me. He tapped Busa on the shoulder who tipped his head back to smile up at Senri. He nodded, head still against Ruka's stomach.

"I'll talk to you later, baby!" He kissed the shirt over her stomach before bouncing to his feet as if spring loaded. He moved back to my side watching as Senri and Ruka stared at each other for a moment.

"May I?" She grinned at him and nodded. It was a great honor to be afforded permission to touch a 'blooming mother' as most old vampires called them. He moved forward and extended his hands placing one over her heart and the other over her stomach. He bowed his head and spoke the traditional words. "May the maiden bow gracefully to the mother with wisdom and strength." He lifted his head and moved in to place a light, chaste kiss on her cheek. "Congratulations, Ruka." They were both smiling, Ruka damn near glowed with joy, Senri's smile was slight but there nonetheless. We made our way to the party. Right before we rounded the last corner I stopped them all.

"We cannot allow anyone but those among us to know that Kaname's child swells within Ruka. This must remain a private matter until further notice. Understood?" They all nodded and I hated that some of that beautiful glow faded from Ruka as we descended those sweeping stairs but it was an unfortunate necessity. No one could know...for all of our safety but especially Ruka and the baby. If I could not have one of my own I was going to make damn sure Ruka's child would be healthy and happy, dammit!

… **...**

 **One speech and quite a few drinks later**

The warmth of too much alcohol consumption burned warm in my belly as I swayed my hips to a tune with a great bass line that I was unfamiliar with. The man behind me, his name I'd never bothered to ask, moved his body languidly against mine. I'd had as many dance partners as drinks and the name no longer mattered, only the rhythm of our bodies held any significance to me, but the fluid promise of this man's body against mine was tempting. I moved my body closer to his so there was no space between us as the music changed to something faster and more sexual. I tipped my head and threw back the last of my drink as the man behind me chuckled, large hands settling on my waist just above my hips. I gave myself to the music and laughed too as I could feel the growing thickness of him pressing against my lower back. My body was hungry for what the sexual grind of the music promised, burning with a desire I hadn't felt in what could have been forever. I spun in the man's grip to face him, my arms twined over his so that my hands could rest on his hips. I saw that he was that human attractive, the kind that Hollywood loved, a rugged, slightly ethnic handsome, and if his jaw was a little strong it was softened by a small dimple in his chin and full, pink, totally kissable lips. He had to of been a foot taller than me or more and had a devastating smile. I wasn't sure who he was or how someone as young as him, no older than his early thirties, had come to be so ensconced in politics but at this moment I was grateful. He was a good dancer, had a pretty face and I was hoping his kiss was as devastating as the smile. I was seriously contemplating taking that kiss he so badly wanted to give me when a hand showed up on both of our shoulders. We both looked up and I grinned.

"Twisteeeeeeer!" I drawled. "Are you enjoying the party?" He smiled down at me before looking back at the man in my arms.

"Mr. Brock," Huh, so that was his name. "I believe your party is trying to hail you." He grinned then. "Besides, I believe it is about time to give someone else a chance to dance with Lady Yuki. It's no fair to hog the most beautiful woman here." Brock laughed, a deep, masculine rumble that I felt in my chest before looking back down at me.

"My apologies, she is just so...enchanting." I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he might have said before he'd supplemented it with something more appropriate. We had somehow wandered over to the side of the dance floor so that only my guards were to our left, sans Ruka who was wandering the party ever vigilantly searching for threats. Twister was to my right, providing a giant wall of flesh between Brock and I and the rest of the party so that suddenly everything seemed so much more private. I'm sure the effect wasn't accidental.

"It would seem, my beautiful lady, that this is where I leave you. I do hope to dance with you again before the end of the evening." I smiled back at him as he backed away a step bending down as his hand slid down my arm to my hand where he raised it to his lips. It seemed a shame to pass up the kiss that gleamed in those eyes that he rolled up to me. When he slowly began to rise I stepped in, using his hold on my hand to still his escape as I leaned up on tip-toes, sliding my hand around his neck into the hair at the base of his skull. His eyes widened but he moved down to me to accept the kiss I offered. I stopped right before our lips met.

"Be wary of the fangs, They're sharp." My words were a last ditch effort to give him a reason to walk away if he wanted to. He made some small noise in his throat before slightly nodding. Our lips met and his mouth was as soft and talented as I'd imagined. I sank into his kiss, our tongues entwining as we both began to put a little more body language into the kiss. I tasted his blood in my mouth and he paused for a second before making another tiny noise into my mouth and the kiss turned into something more passionate. The sweet candy coating of his blood steadily filled my mouth and this time it was I who made a sound and deepened the kiss further. If he didn't stop I was going to devour him from the mouth down. I pulled back with a shaky laugh, a thin trail of his blood trickled from the corner of my lips and his half-lidded eyes watched it. He licked his lips as I slowly licked the blood away. My fangs were slightly longer now as a result of such a deep kiss, my body warming in anticipation of more.

"I told you to be careful, Brock. Kissing a vampire is a delicate art." He let out a breath that shivered just a little.

"Oh fuck." Twister breathed. "Um, my lady...?" I smiled without looking away from Brock. I knew why Twister was suddenly more nervous. Kaname was close. I could smell him. Perfect.

"May I kiss you again?" Brock whispered against my mouth? I flicked my tongue across his slightly parted lips and he took that as the invitation it was, sliding his hand up the side of my neck. Our mouths met again and this time Brock was intentionally not careful, so neither was I. If he wanted to tear his mouth up who was I to protest? I fed at his mouth, drinking down the blood he offered me, spilling only a little from the corners of my lips. He moaned into my mouth and I knew the endorphins from my saliva were kicking in as his fingers dug into my waist and his heart rate nearly tripled. If he was aroused before it was nothing compared to now. I could smell the musky, bitter-sweet scent of his desire, could dance to the too rapid thrum of his heart. I didn't even bother to heal him before breaking the kiss. He had wanted and certainly had not minded tearing his mouth up so why should I fix it. I laughed, a full throat, sexy roll of sound. He shuddered and the drugged look in his eyes was perfect enough that I wanted to give him more.

"Lady Yuki, if you do not send your...friend here on his way I fear what Lord Kaname might do." I smiled at Brock and knew he'd never forget our kiss.

"Sorry, Brock. It would seem our fun time is over. Maybe another time." I winked at him, licking his blood from my mouth as more flowed from his. I leaned in and licked the blood from his face. "I'd steer clear of alcohol for the rest of the night." He kissed me again and I pulled back laughing and shaking my head, bringing his hand in mine up to my lips to place a kiss much more chaste than anything we'd just done on the back of it. His sigh was ragged as I turned from him, the tune of his heart still beating in my head. I felt his eyes watch me as I swayed across the floor to that peppy little tune to refresh my drink. I must have dropped my cup at some point because I had to get another. A few moments later Twister stood next to me as I threw back the shot I'd just poured myself.

"My apologies if this seems a bit forward, m'lady, but you are drunk."

"Hmmm...you may very well be correct in that assumption. It is a curious feeling." I'd only been drunk a handful of times and each time seemed more comfortable than the last. Twister leaned in a bit towards me.

"Lord Kaname's eyes glow with the wrath of hell."

"Do they now?" I chuckled and threw back yet another shot before handing both my cup and the bottle back to the bartender with a gesture at a mixed drink option. He nodded and began making my drink. I turned and leaned against the bar to stare at Kaname from across the room. "Hmm. So they do." I smiled up at twister who was looking very handsome tonight, if just a little worried. His perfectly straight, thick, shoulder length, auburn hair was braided back from his face leaving the strong, beautiful lines of it unadorned. He had a bold jaw line and like Brock's it was softened with a perfect, lush mouth and a dimple in his chin to match the ones at the corners of a heart stopping smile. His eyes were a silver that rivaled the miraculous moonlit beauty of Zero's hair. My heart clenched a little at the thought of my lost Zero and I shoved it all down. His high cheekbones emphasized the large almond shape of those gorgeous eyes that seemed to sparkle all the more because of the thick frame of lashes around them. He was utterly perfect, almost too perfect. He stood six foot three, built like a tank, all broad, muscled shoulders and tight abs that brought the eyes to the narrow hips and incredibly long legs. Yep, he was a show stopper our Twister was. I grinned.

"You are gorgeous. Has anyone ever told you that?" He averted his eyes to the ground and dipped his head, a coy, shy gesture that was utterly adorable. I laughed and accepted my drink from the bartender.

"Lady Yuki, I believe you should deal with Lord Kaname before the fire in his eyes spills over on to your guests." I laughed in pure joy.

"If Kaname has issues with me he can either suck it up or pull his head out of his ass long enough to come talk to me. I care not which he chooses." Twister looked up at that, shock on that so handsome face.

"Forgive me, m'lady, but why are you baiting him?" I felt the smile slip from my face until it I stared blankly at him.

"I'm not. I simply don't care what the fuck he thinks or wants anymore. If it doesn't apply to politics it is no longer my concern." His eyes widened. I slammed the drink in my cup, chugging it in a very unladylike way before clapping it down on the bar and standing straight, holding my hand out to him.

"I want to dance. Will you do me the honor, Twister?" He hesitated for a moment, staring down at my offered hand. He took it but as we wove our way back onto the dance floor he seemed hesitant. I spun and twined my fingers through his as my other hand came to rest on his hip. I smiled at him as I swayed and felt those muscles move lithely beneath my hand as we spun, twisted and twirled to the fast tune. I quickly discovered that Twister was quite the skilled dancer. When a salsa tune came on I was even more impressed.

He lifted and twirled me with an effortless grace. His body moved liquidly against mine, every muscle sliding beneath the silk of his shirt as if well oiled to accommodate such functions as this. As the tempo raced faster, spinning us towards the climax of the dance I could hear only his heart in my ears, that was the tune I danced to. He spun me so that my back was to him, his arm around my waist, hand resting on my hip as we both moved are bodies together, rhythmically before he twined his fingers through mine and spun me, using his hold on my hand to yank me off my feet through the air so that I when I crashed into his body I was held by his hand on my thigh that was cocked up against his ribs, and his arm going up my spine. I smiled down at him, yes down because I was that high off the ground. I slowly slid down his chest until my foot finally found the floor, his arm now at my lower back as he dipped me backward, my thigh still in his firm yet gentle hold, my hands around his neck. Our eyes were locked together so that the whole thing seemed very intimate. I had a handful of moments to truly appreciate the beauty of those mercurial eyes and even as I smiled up at him my heart clenched tight in my chest. That was where the song ended and it was quiet enough that our breathing seemed loud as I laughed breathlessly with him. It wasn't until we righted ourselves that the applause thundered around us. We both grinned out at the crowd and Twister turned us so we stood side by side as we bowed, hand in hand. He turned to me and kissed my hand, bowing deeply before standing.

"I was not aware you knew how to Salsa, m'lady." His voice was only a little breathless with our exertions.

"I have had many dance instructors over these last five years. Who would have known that dance was a language as important as political jargon in this life of lights and cameras?" He laughed a deep, lovely sound before his face suddenly went all business and Kaname popped up right next to us. His face was cold and harsh as Twister bowed and backed off.

"I will leave you now, my queen." I smiled at Kaname, a hollow gesture at best, as Twister beat a hasty retreat, getting stopped by three women, one of which took his arm and led him back to the dance floor for her turn with him. He chuckled and bowed graciously to her before easily swaying their bodies together in a rhythm right on par with the tune of the song. Kaname cleared his throat and I flicked my eyes back to him, the smile on my face more professional than friendly.

"Common sense dictates that if you want something from someone, which I'm sure you do, it would be in your best interest to be polite." The beginnings of my anger simmered along the edges of my words. His lips thinned out and anger flashed across his eyes for a second before calming again.

"I thought I was being polite, and what makes you think I want something from you?" I offered him a smile that I didn't feel.

"If you don't want anything than I believe we're done here." I began to turn when he extended his hand. I stared at the offering as if it offended me before looking up into his eyes, ready to tell him off. The arrogant bastard!

"You really have the audacity to-"

"Please, Yuki. It is just one dance."

I pondered the options for a moment, feeling the eyes of my guests and guards as I did. The dance was likely a trap but whether it was because of the alcohol or the pressure of so many curiosities I still slowly slid my hand into his, seeing the trap before it was sprung and still willingly walking into it. Silly me. I let him lead me onto the dance floor, the full weight of my decision not settling in until his hand wrapped around my waist and the familiar line of his body pressed against mine. I wanted to pull back and my muscles must have tensed with the thought because his hands tightened where he held me. My body swayed with his as if on autopilot while I thought of anything else but his body against mine. I hated that after everything he had stolen from Zero and I, after what he'd done to Ruka, my body still knew the potential those fine muscles had to offer and thirsted for a taste. Feeling him move against me, the way the skin beneath his blaring white button down shirt moved and the muscles corded and twisted roused something primal from the deep confines of my body. I looked out into the crowd and ignored my body, letting him dominate the dance.

"You know, it used to be that I could have simply wished to talk to you and at one point you would have smiled and asked to dance while I did just that."

"Things are much more complicated between us now. Courtesy of you." I said while looking out into the crowd. He was quiet for a moment.

"Believe it or not, Yuki, I truly regret what I did." I smiled and finally looked at him.

"Of course you do. See, I've been thinking about this a lot over the past couple months. I don't need you to explain what you _thought_ you would accomplish or gain by taking Zero's memories because it has become painfully evident to me that you weren't thinking much at all. He pissed you off and was a threat to our relationship so you did what you deemed necessary to keep the girl. But you see the thing is, you failed Kaname and it doesn't matter what you say in your defense or how many times you apologize in however many ways or languages. There is no defense for what you have done and about as many words to excuse your actions as there is forgiveness in my heart for them." He looked shocked for a moment.

"I thought that perhaps this-" He gestured at the dancing people around us, "meant that maybe ..." I raised an eyebrow as he let his statement trail off.

"Meant that what? You thought I had forgiven you?" He frowned at the humor in my question.

"Not entirely, but-"

"No. I reached out to you because this is a political maneuver and I thought I had made it clear before that would be the only thing between us. You had me but it wasn't enough for you. You acted rashly and now you'll live the rest of your life regretting it. Your fault, not mine. Let me be clear, Kaname. I will _never_ forgive you so stop apologizing because you'll find no redemption here." I pulled free from his grasp while emotions still played tag across his face and turned, walking away from him. I walked over to the bar and motioned Senri over to me before turning back to the bartender.

"Want another drink, Lady?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Mix it heavy and give me a big bottle of something that will knock me on my ass." He raised an eyebrow but nodded before setting to work. I had my drink and my bottle in hand, not caring enough to know what either of them were, as Senri popped up beside me.

"My lady?" I chugged half my drink, something with a hint of citrus, before responding.

"Make sure that my guests know their host is leaving the party. You are in charge of ensuring that they all have safely left. Their safety is priority. None of my guards are to leave this damned dance before every last guest is securely in their vehicles and off academy grounds, past that they are not my concern. That's an order." The look of confusion on his face was odd but I didn't care enough at the moment to question it.

"My queen?" I shrugged off the concern I heard in his tone and began walking away.

"I'm so done with this party." Kaname was walking toward me as I was almost clear. I stopped just short of him. He was frowning and reached a single hand out to me.

"If you touch me right now I'll enjoy finding out if you can survive being boiled alive from the inside out." My voice was cold and I knew at that very second I meant every god damn word. His hand froze and slowly retracted. I smiled at the gleam of uncertainty in his eyes. "Good we're on the same page. Now, get the fuck out of my way." I smiled sweetly at him and his frown deepened. He stood there for a moment staring down at me, flinching when I raised an eyebrow before taking a giant step to the side and turning to watch me leave as I strode past him.

I could feel the eyes on me as I moved and resisted the urge to see how many of them would jump if I spun and shouted boo. The thought made me smile and then I was gone. I wandered around the campus for what felt like forever, though it couldn't have been more than a couple hours. I'd almost found the slightly rounded bottom of the bottle the nice bartender had given me. About halfway through the bottle I'd finally read the label and discovered my drinking buddy's name was Spirytus. I laughed as I swished what was left of the liquor around in the bottle.

"192 proof my ass." I jumped up on the edge of the giant circular fountain and was struck by a sudden sense of vertigo that sent me stumbling into the water. I wound up on my knees, water bouncing just under my breasts, arm raised so that the bottle was not submerged.

"You fell in and managed to save both your hair and the liquor. I'm impressed." I stumbled to my feet and smiled at Ruka. Takuma came up beside her, grinning at me. I saw his eyes flick to the bottle in my hand then back to my face, eyebrows raised.

"You know that is almost pure ethanol you've consumed, right? It was not originally intended for drinking." I laughed and stumbled backwards. Both of them surged forward, relaxing marginally when my butt found the hard flat stone I'd originally jumped up on.

"If not for drinking then what is it for?" He laughed.

"I have no idea. Fueling jets maybe? It has killed several humans upon consumption." I giggled and swigged off my bottle.

"I dunno about the humans but there is a reason why alcohol distributors like this one-" I waggled my bottle, "Are targeting vampire audiences for marketing."

Vampires do not need to eat food, but we enjoy it, just as we don't need to drink anything but blood. However, if we do consume anything of the like it takes us a while to digest it, our metabolisms running at a quarter of the pace of a human. You might wonder why any alcohol distributor would target vampires when we don't _need_ to drink? No one, not even humans, _needs_ to drink. They want to. Alcohol is, no matter what anyone may think, a drug, the most popular one to ever grace the long line of history, used and abused in order to forget hard times and inhibitions. Vampires live forever, unless they wind up on the wrong side of some nasty little hunters. If you think about it, that's a _lot_ of bad times and inhibitions to forget.

Needless to say, alcohol amongst vampires has always been a precious commodity. Thanks to Takuma's infatuation with watching/reading absolutely everything ever written or put to film about vampires I had been exposed to a show called Vampire Diaries...or something like that. In truth, it was quite an entertaining show: dramatic, bloody, funny, witty, romantic, and surprisingly realistic where vampires are concerned...well, for the most part at least. They'd hit closer to home than they'd realized during the making. Another added benefit to drinking is that it takes the edge off the desire to feed, which means...a drunk vampire is a happy vampire. Unfortunately since it takes us so long to digest anything it takes a metric ton of liquor to do the job, oooooor...a seriously devastating alcohol content, combine the two and you get something very close to magic. So, alcohol distributors that were once renowned only for the proof behind their alcohol, the kind of shit you buy just in case you need a quick suicide fix or to blow shit up, now had a new target audience and there were a lot more happy vampires in this world. Currently, I was one of them.

"You know, you speak awfully pretty for someone as drunk as yourself." Ruka said. I giggled and realized I had been staring into space while I'd allowed myself to get lost in the nuances of alcohol and distributors.

"Not drunk." I took another swig from the bottle.

"If you're not _wasted_ I'm a sparkly douche-bag." Takuma's voice was laden with sarcasm. I nearly choked on the mouthful of liquor burning down the back of my throat while simultaneously trying to go up my nose as I fought not to laugh. I finally got it down and had to focus on not falling off the fountain edge I was laughing so hard. Takuma came forward and caught me just as I fell off. I swatted at him.

"Yer gonna get all weeeeet! Put me down, Taki! Put me down right now!" For some reason it seemed very important for him to be dry right now.

"Lady Yu-" He grunted as I punched his shoulder hard enough that he must have lost feeling and I suddenly fell onto my ass on the ground. Takuma reached down to me as if worried I'd bruised my royal behind and then shook his head and stepped back when I laughed.

"Yuki, you are being difficult." Ruka said. I blew a raspberry at her and finished off my bottle before flopping back against the chilled stones beneath me. I closed my eyes as the warmth in my stomach spread out and out through my body until my fingertips and nose tingled.

"Sorry I hit you, Taki." I mumbled it out and suddenly felt really bad about it. I opened my eyes to see him crouching on the balls of his feet about two feet from my head. "I so sorry!" Tears stung my eyes and I knew it was foolish but I really, really wanted to hug him and apologize until he forgave me. In the past couple months I had grown close, too close, to Takuma, Senri and Busa. Close enough that I had nicknames for all of them and, in my head, knew them as my boys. I knew not to get close to those whose job it was to sacrifice themselves for me if the moment came but they were all so precious to me, so individual and wonderful. Damn them. I watched Takuma's face soften, that trademark smile sliding into place.

"May I get you off the ground, my queen?" I nodded and he was suddenly next to me, sliding his left arm under my shoulders, lifting me gently off the ground. I slung my arms around his shoulders and neck, hugging him tight enough that he didn't need to hold me because I certainly wasn't going anywhere unless I let go.

"I'm sorry I hit you, Taki." I felt him chuckle a second before his arms wrapped around me and his large hands ran comfortingly up and down my back.

"You are extremely emotional right now, my queen. Providing everything you've been through you are more than forgiven." Another draw back to drinking, at least for me, was heightened emotions. He began to try to stand and I shook my head.

"No. Stay. Want to stay here for minute. Just a few minutes. I don't wanna go in jus yet." He sat back against his haunches, curling me against his chest so that he could flop back on his butt before settling me in his lap. I laid my head against his chest and allowed myself to get lost in the feeling of his fingers playing gently through my hair. Ruka, I knew it was her by the smell, began gently tracing her fingers up and down my arm and I sighed between the two of them.

"Would it make me sound like a slut if I said I'd love nothing more than to take the two of you to bed right now?" They both laughed and Ruka shook her head. I had been sleeping more often than not these past two months with at least two people in my bed. None of those privileged as such argued because sleeping together like that meant we all healed fast, slept better and satisfied something I can only describe as skin hunger, the need to be touched and held close. It also meant that I was _very_ personally guarded.

"I would say we have to get you out of these wet clothes first. The both of you." Ruka playfully tugged at the now heavy material of the dress. I laughed and enjoyed the feeling of Takuma's own joy rumble the chest beneath my ear. I refused to be carried so the two of them linked arms with me and I stumbled all the way back between them, giggling at random. I was a very happy vampire indeed.

When we were almost to my bedroom door I noticed a slender woman posted outside the door, blonde shoulder length hair the bright color of Hanabusa's golden locks. I knew who she was before those brilliant blue eyes turned to us. Ruka's stride stuttered for a moment before continuing. I dug my heels in and the two of them stopped. I jerked my arms free and stalked forward on feet made more sure with the grounding heat of anger. I still wobbled a little but it wasn't quite as bad. She stared intently at the floor as I came forward. I stopped about four feet away.

"Tsukiko. I'm going to assume you have a _good_ reason for being here?" Only some of the anger leaked into my voice. Since I was nearly vibrating out of my skin from rage I actually would have welcomed a pat on the back, a Scooby snack, a good ol' fashioned "atta girl"...anything really. The girl was quiet for a few minutes and my patience was growing thin right around the time when she spoke.

"My Lady, I'd like to ask for permission to speak freely." I frowned deeply at her, fighting back my anger long enough for some confusion to creep in. Ah, what the hell. Why not? I could always use another reason to hate her.

"Then ask." She looked surprised as she looked at me, swallowed twice and nodded, squaring her shoulders.

"May I speak freely, my lady?" I nodded.

"You'd better make it worth my while, girl, but yes, you may." I prepared myself for a declaration of love, hatred, war or anything equally ridiculous, but that wasn't what I got.

"I understand how what you walked in on earlier must have looked." I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you truly?" The words fell flat and cold between us. She swallowed again and nodded. I swear if she said it wasn't what it looked like I was going to butcher the little bitch.

"Yes. I am well aware of what we looked like, but if I may speak frankly, my lady, you have been married to Lord Kuran for years now and must have bedded him hundreds of times. You know how well he performs. Is it too far a stretch of the imagination to conceive that even if I did not _want_ to lie with him that I might enjoy it nonetheless?"

"You are pointing out Kaname's performance to me for what reason, girl?" My eyes narrowed in anger and she held her hands up and out in a defensive gesture, head bowed deeply so that she spoke hurriedly to the floor.

"I meant no offense, my queen."

"Using affectionate titles will not win you anything with me, girl." She bowed her head deeper, bending slightly at the waist to complete the motion. "If you have a point to make you'd best do it soon."

"I am only a member of his guard, a pawn to be manipulated, one much lowlier than he. Even if I wanted to deny his affections how does one reject their King? I have had worse masters than he, lady, and at first was more than afraid of even thinking of denying him. His affections were gentle, thorough and...intense. I cannot deny that I enjoyed lying with Lord Kuran and ask that you pardon me not for taking pleasure where there only should have been duty but instead my weakness in not denying his affections in the first place." I stared blankly at her for a few moments while she ceaselessly prostrated herself. I wanted to be angry at her and found myself slightly pitying her, which did make me mad. Why could I not be the irrational bitch for once, just once! I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and heaved a massive sigh.

"You would put off all responsibility for what you have done and deny that you have always been infatuated with Lord Kaname?" Ruka's voice came from behind me, thick with scorn and distaste.

"I made no such declaration. No one has ever been as infatuated with our lord as you, Ruka. And if I have not been misinformed your weak will led you into not only a lengthy affair but into motherhood itself." She rolled her eyes up, raising her head enough to see Ruka and I saw pity, regret, a deep well of sadness and underneath was a glimmer of something happier in those true blue eyes. "Have your decisions not swelled your body with his bastard, cousin?" Ruka growled deep in her throat and I stepped between the two women, forming a fleshy wall as Ruka began to charge the more slender girl. Takuma moved behind me and began whispering something furiously to Ruka. I glared at the woman in front of me as she stared over my shoulder at Ruka.

"You know what they say about those who live in glass houses, cousin." Her voice was flat, showing not the least bit of the snarkiness implied by the words themselves. I growled at her, which caught her attention and she prostrated herself again, bowing deeper this time.

"You have made your point, girl, but if you antagonize her like that again next time I will not stand between you."

"Yes, my lady." I sighed again and shook my head.

"So, you didn't _want_ his affections? Do you deny Ruka's accusations of your infatuation with him?" She bowed even lower, never having moved despite Ruka's threat to whoop her ass.

"I would be a liar if I denied that I had long desired Lord Kuran." I frowned.

"And yet you claim that you did not _want_ him to fuck you?" She visibly flinched, probably at the crass wording but I couldn't give a fuck if I tried. Her sensibilities were the least of my concerns.

"I did not want to desire his affections but I did so regardless." I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose as I closed my eyes. I huffed and shrugged off the tension trying to settle between my shoulders.

"I'll be quite honest, I'm _waaaay_ to fucking drunk for this shit tonight. You couldn't have picked a worse time to kiss ass." She bowed deeper, back still perfectly straight while her head was now damn close to being knee level and I rolled my eyes. "Oh for fuck sake! Stand up already, will ya! You're making my back hurt just looking at you." She deepened her bow quickly before standing to her full height, though her eyes stayed locked on my feet. I shook my head.

"I don't have the patience for this. Go away, Tsukiko." It was only then that her eyes finally flicked briefly up to mine before glancing over to the door before settling back on the ground by my feet. Irritation zapped through me like a flare of electricity.

"When you have the time, may we continue our discussion at a later date?"

"Even _I_ am amazed at times by the limits of my leniency, Tsukiko but I am about at my limit for bullshit this night. If I were you I'd leave, quickly." She bowed again and I just couldn't take it anymore. I moved brusquely past her so that she had to move or one of us was going to knock the other on their ass.

"My lady-" I froze with my hand on the knob.

"Leave. Now." The words were nearly growled out as my anger fought to spill from between my clenched teeth.

I twisted the knob and flung the door open. I had taken about three steps into the room before I stopped in my tracks. I hadn't seen him yet but I could smell him. I turned just enough so that I could see Tsukiko who, as I suspected she would be, was standing stock still just outside the doorway to my room. I had an awful thought for a moment that Kaname had brought her here and fucked her on my bed. Fury raged through me so fast and hot that I swayed on my feet. I took several calming breaths, scenting the air. When I smelled nothing but my own scent beneath that of Kaname's my body was suddenly my own again as the rage fled as suddenly as it had come. The rapidity of the change was enough that my body jerked. I was going to give myself mental whiplash if these mood swings didn't calm the fuck down soon. They'd gotten so much worse this last month and I was strongly beginning to suspect I was bipolar as fuck. Tsukiko shifted uncomfortably where she stood and her eyes flicked to something behind me before she went back to staring at the floor. I sighed and turned around. The hits just kept on coming tonight. I looked at him standing so casually, propped against one of the bedposts as if waiting for a wandering photographer to come around and snap a picture. I scoffed and moved past him to my armoire.

"Ruka. Takuma. Come into the room and close the door, would ya?" A few seconds later I heard the door click shut as I rooted through my clothes for something dry and comfortable to put on.

"What do you want, Kaname? I thought I made myself pretty clear earlier." I grabbed a pair of small, green satin shorts and the tank top to match it, one of my favorite pajama sets. I snagged a pair of underwear blindly from the drawer, not caring what I picked, before turning to face him. His eyes flicked down to the clothes in my hand before moving back to my face.

"Can one of you come over here and undo the lacings on the back of this damned thing?" The dress had taken time to get into. It was only natural that it took just as long to get out of. After a moments hesitation Ruka began moving towards me and I watched Kaname's eyes follow her movement. There was something akin to pain in his eyes as he watched her. His eyes came back to rest on mine as she began undoing the lacings up the back. I wasn't much one for zippers, never had been. I liked lace. It just looked better and added something a little sexier. However, just this once I think I'd have preferred the zipper. Kaname's face was calm and patient the way it normally was as he stared at me, waiting.

"If you have some purpose for being here you'd best spit it out before I'm done getting ready for bed."

"May I speak to you in private?" I chuckled and shook my head slightly at him.

"Anything you have to say you needn't fear saying it in front of them. This _is_ private. So speak." He slightly raised an eyebrow but other than that his face didn't change.

"I'd prefer they leave the room." And I'd prefer he get the fuck out and stop popping up when he wasn't needed.

"No." It was a small request but I wasn't inclined to give him anything he wanted, it didn't matter how small. Petty, I know, yet it brought me such great satisfaction to see the perfect lines of his face twist into a frown.

"You won't give me even that, will you?" The edge of derision in his voice both amused me and pissed me off. I stared calmly at him as a slight smile taunted him from the corner of my lips.

"No." He glared at me for a moment, his anger peeking out of those eyes before he shoved it down and nodded, a stiff movement that showed the strain of reeling back his emotions. I smiled at him as I felt the last of the lacing give. "You wanted something, Kaname?" His eyes followed Ruka again as she moved back across the room to the large walk in closet. All the guards who had the privilege of sleeping in my bed had started keeping a suitcase of clothes in my room. It was only practical after all to have clothes where you slept. There were also four toothbrushes in my bathroom that weren't mine for those who slept in my bed more than the others. Two of those people were rooting for their pajamas in my closet while talking softly enough that I couldn't hear their conversation. I smiled as the closet door shut with them still inside and I had no doubt that when they came out they both be in their pj's. Kaname was watching my face with his head cocked slightly to the side.

"I had heard that you were sleeping with the guards. I didn't think it was true though." I smiled wider, genuinely happy at the edge of disbelief and jealousy I heard in his voice. I gave him my back as I began working the wet dress down over my hips, fighting the stiff bodice while trying not to damage the dress any further while I stumbled around. It _was_ a beautiful dress.

"Are you _drunk_?" I could hear the amusement thick in his voice.

"No." It sounded petulant even to me and to top it off I almost staggered my way into the armoire. "I _was_ happy though, before you pooped my party, ya damn party pooper." I swore under my breath as I stumbled, knocking the door of the damn closet thing back against the side panel.

I finally had to stop and kick off the heels, I was significantly more balanced when I was flat footed. I had to wriggle a little but finally the dress fell in a heap on the floor at my feet. I slipped the thin piece of cloth that acted as my underwear down my thighs and paused. I listened to his heart hammering against his ribs, the slightly irregular rhythm of his breathing and smirked as I decided to do something I hadn't done in so long. I closed my eyes, having to focus. I maintained my glamour so much of the time that despite my drunken state it had still remained intact. Not too long ago that would have been impossible. I couldn't help but sigh in relief, goosebumps running along my skin as a small tension left me, a tightness in my muscles that I didn't realize was there anymore until I dropped my glamour. I heard his breath hiss in and my face twisted into something unpleasant as I reached for my clothes. I could still feel his eyes on me but the smell of his arousal was fading and all but gone as I turned to face him, as covered as I wanted to be in my slinky pajamas. I took the giant topaz off from around my neck and placed it in the huge jewelry box I'd recently bought to accommodate my ever growing collection of shiny things.

"It has been a long time since you've done that around me." I turned to him, face reflecting a blankness that certainly did not match the anger simmering deep inside me.

"I wonder why." He looked down at the floor then and I swear the air reeked of regret. My eyes widened marginally. He was being reasonable for once. Huh. I watched him and realized that Ruka and Takuma were hiding in the closet. It didn't ever take them this long to change. I appreciated the illusion of privacy they were trying to give us but I was about at my wits end tonight with all the shenanigans. I jerked back to the situation at hand when he began to move toward me, eyes settled somewhere in the center of my chest, looking at me without _looking_ at me. I wanted to tell him to stop but the part of me that was curious about what he was doing told me to shut up and wait. So, I stood there and watched him come across the room towards me, trying not to wobble too much on my feet. He stopped about three inches from me, the space between us smaller than it had been in months, at least voluntarily on my part. He lifted his hand and I steeled myself as his fingers brushed across the edges of the scar on my chest that peeked over the hem of my tank top, my newest beauty mark. His eyes were wider than they should have been, breathing irregular. His fingers curled gingerly under the edge of my shirt and his eyes flicked up to mine, a silent question in his gaze. I knew he wanted to see the rest of the scar and I simply dipped my head in response, curious as to where this odd behavior was coming from. He took my answer at face value and gently tugged the tank top down as far as it would go, but satin was only so flexible and only about half of the scar was revealed.

"It must have been a fearful wound."

"It was." My voice was soft as I watched his face while he examined what he could see of my scar, remembering the night I had gotten it.

"I cannot see all of it and the shirt is rather unforgiving. May I?" The fingers on his free hand brushed the bottom hem of the shirt. I frowned in confusion at him. He had never had any interest in my scars before and now after everything he had done he suddenly gave a fuck? I stepped back out of his reach and shook my head.

"You have seen enough. I don't know what game you are playing but I will not be one of your pawns to toy with." Anger flashed across his eyes, a fleeting glimpse like spotting the blur of a tiger through the thick brush of the jungle. There and then gone.

"I am not playing any game, Yuki." Something toppled in the closet, reminding us both that we had an audience, albeit one we could not see. I giggled a little and Kaname raised an eyebrow at me. We had a couple of peepers in the closet. The thought made me giggle again, a sound I attempted to stifle by putting a hand over my mouth. He moved to face the closet door and spoke.

"We are all vampires here. Hiding in the closet provides naught but an illusion of the privacy I wish for. Come out." There was a brief moment of silence before Takuma and Ruka exited and softly closed the door behind them. Kaname moved just his head to look at me.

"I really want to talk to you, Yuki. Just talk. But I will not do so in front of them."

"Talk about what, Kaname? What could you possibly have to talk to me about that can't be said in front of your best friend and your baby mama?" His face flushed a deep shade of red and the honey of his eyes swirled with red. I raised an eyebrow. "I hit a sore spot I see. It must be a doozy, eh?" He squeezed his eyes shut. I didn't think I had done anything unreasonable enough to piss him off like this but apparently I had. Oh well.

"You won't give an inch, will you? You wouldn't let me see your scar and now you will not even give me the honor of a private audience." He growled softly under his breath and I laughed which was the wrong thing to do but I found him funny right now, something I could probably attribute to my good friend Spirytus. His eyes flared open and he whirled to face me, taking a few steps before I held up a hand. He stared at my obvious sign to stop and smiled rather unpleasantly at me but he did stop.

"Let me see your scar, Yuki. I am trying to do something here." I raised an eyebrow at that.

"Show you one of the many scars I have that apparently were so grotesque you found your way between Ruka's legs, again and again? Tell me, _lover_ , is her honey sweeter because her skin is smoother?" My voice was bubbly and sarcastic, not matching the crass words at all and his mouth opened and closed before he growled.

"Yuki-" I chuckled, cutting him off, and shook my head as I slowly made my way by him, daring him to grab me.

I think he knew what I was doing because he never touched me as I brushed past him. He was up to something, playing a game unbeknownst to me and I was tired of him hurting me. He wanted to play games? I could do that. I swayed toward Ruka and Takuma, allowing my body to convey the months of sexual frustration and desire that had built up inside of me, rolling every muscle to optimal advantage and somehow managed to not stumble. I looked at the two of them standing there, really _looked_ at them.

I let myself take in the unbelievable beauty of the richest of forest canopies with golden light dancing through the leaves, a green and gold combo made even more breathtaking by the force of personality shining out from Takuma's eyes. The shoulder length blonde hair, like spun sunlight, hanging loosely around high cheekbones and a sharp jawline. His mouth was incredibly full and just a touch wide. I had never seen lips more lushly pink, a shade that made his mouth forever seem frozen in a post-kiss glory that made his lips all the more alluring. He wore nothing but the soft cotton, deep green plaid pajama bottoms I had bought him when he began staying in my bed. To be honest they were my favorite pajamas on him. The green emphasized the exquisite nature of his eyes and contrasted with the creamy paleness of all six feet of alabaster dips and ridges of finely chiseled muscle.

Ruka's toffee waves cascaded down to just below her butt now, messy bangs framing the soft, delicately beautiful lines of her face. Her coffee eyes were large and framed by a thick line of lashes that gave those liquid pools an unfathomable depth. The short blue nightgown she wore was satin, held on her curvacious frame by two thin straps on her shoulders, leaving the incredibly long length of her legs bare. The blue made the darker tone of her skin look damn near sun kissed. It was also a gift I had bought her. Her mouth, as full and curvy as the lush lines of her body, was quirked in a small smile and I knew she knew exactly what I was doing.

I let them both see in my eyes how very beautiful I thought they were. They looked positively divine standing there next to each other, Ruka's dark complimenting the bright of Takuma's light. For the first time ever, without provocation from the endorphins of a bite, I entertained the thought of taking them as lovers. The concept made my stomach contract hard with a gale force of butterflies and I sighed a little. Takuma's eyes widened slightly and I could already hear his breathing speeding up. Something in my eyes managed to hold them both captive as I swayed closer. I chose to sidle up against Takuma instead of Ruka, pressing the front of my body to his in a firm line, wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggling my cheek against his chest. He hesitated only a second before wrapping his arms around me. I could hear the rapid thrum of his heart beneath my ear. I rotated my head so that I could roll my eyes up and watch his face as I kissed the shallow, triangular dip between his pectoral muscles.

"Are you trying to piss me off?" Kaname's voice was low and dangerous and I couldn't help but smile as I slowly twisted in Takuma's arms, making sure every part of my body that could touch him moved along his as I did. I could smell his arousal and took a moment to contemplate what I was doing. It occurred to me that I was seducing Takuma for no more reason than to play a game. The second I recognized that the warmth that had slowly been building in my body cooled a little.

"No. I just wish to get on with what you are interrupting. We had _plans_ before you chose to invite yourself into my room." His eyes blazed such a bright red that they cast shadows.

"Why are you doing this, Yuki? I know you have never lain with either of them. You would toy with him like this for my benefit?" I smiled at him and turned to face Takuma again. His hands rested loosely on my waist.

"Do you mind this, Takuma? Be honest with me. If you mind I'll stop." He swallowed hard as he looked down at me and I could would swear I could hear the gears grinding behind those beautiful eyes. I raised an eyebrow and he swallowed again before speaking.

"I would like to know exactly what is being offered before I answer, my queen." I smiled widely at him.

That was my Takuma. Forever practical. It was a reasonable question. What was I offering? I allowed myself to fall into the liquid beauty of his eyes and must have stared a little too hard because some door opened between the two of us and Takuma gasped as I felt his emotions swirl like gentle breezes through my mind. He was content, confused, anxious, but it was the profound loneliness that stole my breath. It was the kind of loneliness where one could feel lost and alone in the heart of a throng of those who loved you simply because there was none that you could hold and call your own. He could have shut me out of his head but he didn't. He stared down at me as he let me feel what words couldn't ever adequately explain.

He was afraid. Not afraid of dying. Afraid of having lived without loving and being loved in return. His fear was so profound that I got snippets of thoughts to accompany the emotion. In that moment I knew that the man in my arms had loved, deeply, recklessly and with total submission. I could feel that he had been abused by someone in a long standing, unrequited love-affair. He was tired of hurting for someone who would never do the same for him. Could I give him what he wanted? What he needed? Could I hold him close and love him until I called him mine? Did I have room in my heart to love him the way he needed to be loved? Could I stand the thought of him dying and having his worst fear realized? My heart clenched tight and it was hard for me to breathe. The thought of never seeing Takuma throw popcorn at a bad vampire movie or cringe as he ladled one of his hundreds of oddly flavored jams into a teacup again, never hearing him laugh or have him jab playfully at me...I shook my head and forced back the tears for something that had yet to pass, and I hoped it never did. I realized I did love him. I loved him as much as I could and I hoped it was enough. I smiled at him and he offered me a pale shadow of the smile I had come to love.

"Me. I'm offering you me." I stretched up on tip-toes as far as I could, using his chest to balance me as I did. His fingers tightened on my waist and he smiled wider as he used his grip to lift me clear off the floor, arms wrapping solidly around the dip in my lower back.

Our lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. I ran my fingers along his jawline into the soft length of his hair as I slowly slid my tongue along his bottom lip, asking without words for entry. His lips parted and our tongues danced in a slow, passionately thorough rhythm that stole my breath. It was as if we made love to each other with none other than our mouths. He made some small noise into my mouth and I realized only then that his body quivered slightly against mine right before he deepened the kiss and sped the pace. I couldn't breath but couldn't seem to care about the frivolous deed enough to break away from Takuma's kiss. Even when my head swam and a slight ringing sounded in my ears I couldn't seem to care. The whole world fell away except for his mouth on mine and I realized I was softly moaning for him and that at some point I had parted my thighs and wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands gripped my thighs tight and his body trembled for me. He was the one who broke the kiss, throwing his head back as he sucked in a ragged inhale. I didn't care for air, I only wanted his lips and began moving in for another kiss. His mouth found mine again and he groaned before breaking away and shaking his head, burying his face in my neck as he panted.

"Breathe, my queen." He gasped out. I sucked in a huge lungful of air that sounded loud and as much as I wanted to get back to his lips my lungs had other plans. I had starved them of air for too long. The rush of oxygen burned and felt good at the same time. My whole body thrummed for him. His face nuzzled my neck and I thought I might stop breathing again when he ran his fangs up the large vein in the side of my throat. I shuddered for him and he said something in an unfamiliar language, something low and sexy. I used my grip in his hair to pull his head back. His eyes were closed, lips parted as he took a hissing breath in before his hands tightened and then his mouth fed at mine, a thorough and much rougher kiss than the last. When he nicked my tongue on his fangs he growled into my mouth and pulled back. I had time to realize he had dropped to his knees at some point but then quicker than I could blink I was kneeling in front of him with his arms hugging me tight to him so that I could hear his heart pounding against the ribs beneath my ear. I wanted more from him but when I tried to move his arms tightened. I could take a hint. I stayed still against him, wrapping my arms around the waist that my legs had been around but only moments before. He gripped my shoulders after a few moments and dropped back so that he knelt on his haunches. He offered me a lazy smile and laughed, a full-throat sound that dripped with sex while shaking his head.

"As much as I appreciate the offer, my queen I have to decline." His voice was husky and thick, making me shiver slightly. I frowned at him and his face lit up with a pure joy that was truly beautiful, a joy that spilled from those lush lips in a deep laugh that had me smiling along with him. I had to ask. I just couldn't help myself.

"Why do you _have to_ decline?" He chuckled again and leaned in to place a kiss on my lips, a kiss I tried to prolong. I tried to get close to him again but his gentle yet firm hold on my shoulders stopped me and allowed him to pull back, smiling, eyes glowing with a warmth they'd never possessed before, a knowledge that he could have me right there on the floor any way he wanted and I wouldn't stop him and that while our skin still slid against the other with the sweat of our exertions I would hold him, cuddle him close and dear to me as we slept.

"I truly appreciate the offer and as devilishly tempting as it is I cannot." I frowned in confusion.

"Why, Taki?" He cocked his head and the smile he offered me seemed to say _you know why._

"I can see that you love me, my queen. I know it. You will always be my queen, but you will never be mine." He leaned in again and placed his lips in a lingering kiss on my forehead while his words breathed through my mind.

" _It would be amazing, my lady and we would love one another more than we do at this very moment but I will never fill your heart the way he does."_ He sat back so that he could see my eyes and bowed his head, eyes sparkling with love and gratitude. He didn't need to clarify which he because we both knew who he was talking about. _"_ _I will never forget what you gave me this night. Thank you...Yuki."_ His last words echoed in my mind as he gently closed the door between us and then our heads were our own again. We smiled and I nodded at him before we shared a brief laugh. He sprang to his feet and held a hand down to me, pulling me to mine. I turned to find Kaname staring at us, face so mottled with rage that he looked damn near skeletal.

"Takuma. Ruka. You should find another bed to sleep in tonight." I said without looking away from Kaname.

"Are you sure, my lady?" Ruka's voice was cautious but it almost seemed like she wanted me to say no.

"No. Not really, but do it anyway." Ruka was about to say something when Takuma cut her off.

"Come, Ruka. Let us retire to the room across the hall." I didn't miss the very intentional stating of their location. It almost seemed like Takuma didn't fully trust Kaname anymore and was giving me a heads up saying, _you know where we are if you need us._ Though I seriously doubted that if I really needed their help against Kaname that I would ever make it out of this room in time enough to get it. If Kaname wanted to hurt or kill me I was almost certain he would get just that. Though I would put up a fight Kaname was one of the most powerful beings I'd ever known... _overpowered_ if you asked me, though no one ever did, and I was waaaaaay drunk. I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell at getting through that door if I needed them but still I turned my head and nodded to them so that they knew I had understood and pretended that there was zero possibility that he would hurt me. I looked back to Kaname who had his eyes closed, taking deep, calming breaths as the door clicked shut. I waited for him to open his eyes and when he did they were only a little red.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" I felt the blankness on my face, showing him nothing of the irritation I felt.

"You want the truth or a lie?" He growled and I threw my hands up on a shrug. "Yes. I did enjoy it, very much in fact. That man has one hell of a wicked, wicked mouth." I saw his body tense and moved in a blur to match him so that we had traded places, stumbling only a little as I turned to face him. I was now by the foot of the bed while he stood near the closet. I waggled my finger at him and smirked.

"Now, now. Let's not have any of that, my _dear_ husband." The sarcasm in the last is what made him snap. He ripped his hands through his hair and paced a tight circle.

"God, Yuki! GODDAMMIT!" He panted hard and I raised my eyebrows as I watched him, leaning against the bedpost with folded arms. He turned to me, eyes blazing with something close to desperation and confusion. "How did we get here? What went so very wrong that _this_ is what we have become?"

"I sincerely doubt you truly want me to answer that question." He stopped and stared through me, a distant, thoughtful look in his eyes before he nodded and then his eyes snapped back into focus on me.

"You're right. I probably don't. Not yet." I didn't think my eyebrows could go any higher but they did. I nodded once, acknowledging the wisdom of his decision. He wasn't ready to hear why we had failed. I doubted either of us would ever be one hundred percent ready to put our failed marriage under a microscope, but we both knew it was going to happen. However, it didn't have to be right now. He was quiet for a long time, staring at something just above and to the left of me before he finally spoke.

"I never thought you to be deformed or grotesque, Yuki." I felt my mouth thin out as a slew of nasty questions and retorts tried to puke out all over the place, but I held it back as his eyes met mine, glowing with sincerity. "I just-" I shook my head and held up a hand to stop him while I glared down at my feet. Huh...maybe it was time to repaint my toenails. I shook my head to clear it of such whimsical thoughts.

"Don't. We don't have to talk about this. Not now. I'm way to skunked for this to happen right now." He was quiet for a moment.

"Please, Yuki. Just let me explain. I just want the chance to clarify at least this." I shook my head again and again. He hadn't earned the right to be this reasonable to me over _this_. Not _this,_ and of all the times he _had_ to choose now? I laughed aloud suddenly. I was such a bipolar hypocrite. When he was unreasonable I wasn't happy with him. When he was reasonable, I wasn't happy with him. I sucked in a sharp breath and nodded.

"Fine." The word was clipped but I had to pretend to be a rational woman, even if nothing I felt for him was rational anymore. Whether he heard the resignation in my voice or not he still charged forward.

"My reaction to your scars was never based on the physicality of them. You are as beautiful to me now as you were before all of this started. It was never you that got in the way. It was me. My mind." I glanced at him then, glaring, waiting for him to finish spouting his excuse. He seemed to be gathering his courage and stumbled his first words out. "Do you...do you remember what I told you at Takuma's birthday party when you were still a guardian here?" I held my breath, not answering him even as his words floated through my mind. I wanted to stop him, suddenly not wanting him to continue.

"I told you that the safest place for you to be was by my side." His eyes filled with tears and I had to look away. Even now, after everything he had done, I still could not bear to see him cry. Or maybe it was that I knew what he was going to say. "I-" He sucked in a slow, steadying breath and I shook my head.

"Kaname-" He was the one to shake his head this time. I wanted to tell him to stop but he continued before I could.

"No. I lied." He turned from me and walked over to the window, despite the thick curtains blocking view of anything as they held out the sunlight. "I lied to you, Yuki. For that I am so sorry. I never meant for this. I never meant for any of this. I have caused you untold pain and until recently even I couldn't have told you any of this because I didn't realize. I didn't _allow_ myself to realize any of this because I didn't want it to be true." He was quiet for a minute before he continued. "When I looked at your scars all I could see and feel was the misery of my failure to protect you. It consumed me and as beautiful as you are I just...I just couldn't." I frowned at him while he stared blindly at the curtain, trying to think of something to say while my emotions rode a wicked roller-coaster. I finally knew what to say.

"Get over yourself." He turned and the utter shock on his face was priceless.

"What?" I shrugged.

"Did I stutter? I said get over yourself." His mouth snapped shut as a quiet rage gleamed in his eyes.

"I just admitted the hardest thing I've ever had to say and this is your response? Some insensitive bullshit!?" My own anger kindled to life again, the pity I'd felt only moments before washed away.

"Bullshit? That woe is me sob story you just fed me? _That_ was bullshit." I took a step toward him and knew my eyes glowed with the force of emotion swirling through me. "I do not need you to protect me, Kaname. I was a fighter _before_ you re-entered my life and I have fought many battles since I chose to go with _you_. I can take care of myself."

"You would not have needed to fight had I been strong enough to let you carry on as you were here at the academy!" I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Who are you kidding? Staying here at the academy wouldn't have changed shit. In case it's slipped your attention, the academy is no longer much safer than any other place in this world. I would have fought regardless but I chose to fight standing beside _you,_ ya ass-hat _!"_ I was shaking with anger as I pointed a finger at him. " _I_ chose _you_ , Kaname Kuran. I could have stayed here and yeah, I wouldn't be some paparazzi pinup whore but I was always destined for blood. It is who I am and guess what, Kaname." I took another step toward him. "You can't do shit shit about that! You never could!"

"If I would have left you as human-"

"I would _still_ be surrounded by a life of violence and bloodshed, Kaname. If I wouldn't have chosen you it would have been Zero and I would have fought for him, I did fight for him, the same as I do for you. The only difference is that I would have been more fragile." He stared at me in silence, breathing heavily as he tried to reign in his anger. I dipped my head so that I could catch his wandering eyes.

"If you want to play the blame game Kaname then get the fuck out because that shit don't wash with me. _I_ made my choice. Not you."

"And yet if I had not come back to influence your decision you very well may have lived a radically different life." I shook my head and threw my hands up in the air.

"You just don't get it." I turned and began to walk back towards the bed. "Get out, Kaname."

"Yu-" I whirled on him.

"I will not stand here and discuss what _could_ have been if only we'd made different decisions! I am very familiar with the butterfly effect theory, Kaname. I _do_ realize that if a few decisions were tweaked things would be drastically different. But we _cannot_ change that. So, stop- Fucking- Dwelling- On- It." The last words were squeezed out. I was so pissed I was panting as a result of my explosion.

"Yes. I chose you. Yes, that resulted in a slew of deaths, a string of destruction and battles. Yes, I got hurt but so did you. No, neither of us are currently dead, something I think we should be _very_ fucking grateful for because some who started this journey with us are. Yes, you fucked up _really_ fucking bad!" He opened his mouth to say something but I shook my head again. " _No_ , I do not want to hear anymore explanations from you tonight." His eyes flashed and he spoke anyway.

"I don't care if you _want_ to hear it or not, Yuki. You _need_ to hear it because I want you back. I want to kiss you, to know the taste of you thick on my tongue, to hold you close. I _want you_. And the only way for me to have you is for you to listen to me."

I couldn't fucking believe what I was hearing. My brain didn't want to hear it but my body was cheering. _Look at how fucking hot he is when he's angry!_ I screamed internally at my hormones. His chest heaved, the air was thick with the smell of him and I knew he was aroused which made my stomach contract hard as my body moistened from the memory of his. This was bad, so very bad! Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I had been battling my hormones for what felt like forever now and they had suddenly decided that the devil we were familiar with was better than the devil unknown. If I didn't have sex with him who knows who my hormones would pick for me. It sounded like an excuse, even to me, but I was okay with that, probably because I was drunk but I'd deal with the fallout in the morning. Right now I wanted him in ways I hadn't in so very long.

"I know we have to talk about a lot of things. But not right now." That dark heat began to fill his eyes, the darkness that every man had somewhere in them, the one that says they have you just where they want you and know without a doubt that you _want_ to be there.

"Not now? If you don't want to talk then what do you want?" He wanted me to say it so that he could hear it. I would do him one better. A part of me hated him, a part that battled furiously with the part that loved him (and likely always would), and I'd never forgive him. However, technically speaking, he was still mine and I didn't need to like him to fuck him.

I untied the satin tie on my shorts and slipped my thumbs beneath the band of them slowly sliding them down my hips as I made my way from over by the bathroom where I'd wandered during our argument. They hit the floor right before I climbed up on the side of the bed and began to crawl over the large expanse of the thing, rolling my muscles, putting every part of my body to work as I crawled toward the foot of the bed. He shuddered as I showed him with my eyes and body that, in that very moment, I wanted him the same way he wanted me. When I was two feet from the edge of the bed I sat on my ass with my knees in front of my chest and slowly spread my legs. It was incredibly slutty, something I had only ever done once and never had I had the confidence to do it with Kaname, but the look on his face made it _so_ worth it as he raptly hungered for what I revealed to him. His tongue slid across his lips and I heard him swallow. When my legs were spread as far as they could go my thighs framed my slender upper body and his eyes wandered over me. When he finally caught my eyes I smiled devilishly at him and cocked my head, sliding my hand slowly down my thigh from my knee. His eyes followed the movement and he moaned when my fingers began toying with the edge of the very tiny lace panties that I'm sure left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"Fuck me, Kaname." We moaned in unison as I slipped my fingers beneath the panties and between the slick folds, playing lightly over my clit. I dropped my head back and let out a shuddering sigh. When I looked back to him Kaname was completely naked, cock standing straight out from his body, incredibly hard and weeping for me, pulsing as he stood there and watched me. His eyes glowed and that heavy weight of orgasm began to build when I noticed his fangs growing with his excitement. His will power broke when I slid a single finger inside of myself. He growled and then he was suddenly standing in front of me. He grabbed my hand and yanked it up to his mouth, sucking the fingers that were coated in my juices into his mouth. He shuddered and groaned, rolling his eyes up to me as he did, stealing my breath. He pulled my fingers slowly out of his mouth with one last flick of his tongue and began leaning into me. When his mouth was inches from mine I stopped him with a single finger on his lips.

"Tonight I want you to fuck me. You either give me what I want or nothing at all." He froze and I watched him war with himself. I smiled and rolled out from under him. "Okay then. You know where the door is." I slipped my underwear off, letting them fall to the floor as I moved. I was almost to the bathroom when he spun me and slammed me against the wall next to the bathroom door. He had my left leg up against his shoulder so that my knee was by my head. My other leg was dangling straight off the floor. He had his hand wrapped in my hair with my neck pulled back at a near painful angle. I moaned as he dragged his fangs up my throat, nipping at my earlobe. He growled next to my ear and I dug my fingers into his hip with my right hand. My heart raced, trying to keep up with the rush of hormones, endorphins and my erratic breathing.

"You want me to fuck you?" He tightened his grip in my hair and I moaned. "Fine, baby. I'll fuck you."

With that he suddenly slammed into me, the length of him from this angle hitting so deep that his cock bottomed out within me and then some. I was more than wet enough for it but I was still tight so there was an extra bit of pain that was almost too much. Almost. I screamed for him and tried to arch my back but couldn't beneath his weight. He found a punishing, deep rhythm that had me crying out for him. The pain and pleasure was so intense I couldn't tell the difference. I reached around my leg so that I could dig my nails into his shoulder and he moaned, shuddering. He thrust into me hard enough to rock my head back on my spine and suddenly he had my hands pinned to the wall above my head so that my weight was held at the wrists, by my thigh against his chest and his hips thrusting against me.

I went from being close to screaming, bucking my body against his. The orgasm swept over and through me in white-hot, blinding waves as he switched his rhythm so that it was still a good hard pounding but now he was making sure to sweep over that sweet spot deep inside me. The intense pleasure of the g-spot mixed with the short burst of pain of him hitting my cervix at the end of every stroke threw me into another orgasm before the last had a time to finish. I screamed as fast as I could draw breath, vaguely hearing him cry my name before the sharp bite of his fangs in my neck was immediately followed by the explosion of endorphins that whited my world out with pleasure. I didn't remember us falling or how I wound up riding him into the carpet but his fingers dug into my hips and ass, head thrown back, mouth open wide as he screamed for me, spine bowing as his release corded its way through me. Moments later my final scream echoed his.

I must have lost time because when I could see again I was collapsed half on him and half on the floor, body twisted so that I had my hips pressed against the side of him, one leg stretched across his thighs and my chest rested on the floor, one arm flung out to the side, the other slung over his chest. My head rested on his arm. We were both panting hard, air difficult to drag into our lungs. When both of us could finally breathe normally he was the first to speak.

"Make-up sex is the best." I laughed but couldn't resist.

"Not make-up sex." He was quiet for a moment and I mumbled out the rest of my response. "I think that was some combo of break-up and angry sex." He must have been as blissed out as me because the last thing I remember is us both chuckling before the darkness swept up and ate my world.

… **...**

I woke up to a soft tapping on my door. My body was pressed in a familiar line against Kaname's and I stopped breathing. I had fucked Kaname last night. A part of me was in shock at the carelessness of that decision, the complete lapse of reason. Another part yawned and stretched languorously, smirking in a comfortable satisfaction. I was afraid to move, afraid to wake him and simply laid there. I closed my eyes and tried to shove down every reason why this was bad and simply enjoy the moment. We had not been like this in so long that it was easier than I thought it would be to just let go of all the baggage for a moment and relax. The knock came louder this time, reminding me of why I was awake in the first place. I groaned and began trying to get up. I realized that I was in the same position I had passed out in. Kaname was too. I smiled to myself before wincing as I lifted my arm that was slung over his chest and my leg that was flung so haphazardly over his thighs. Our skin peeled apart and my thigh especially was particularly tacky. It didn't take an expert to figure out why. I was completely free of him and was hauling myself to my hands and knees when a sharp pain shot through my lower abdomen. I hissed in pain and froze. The knock came again, loud and impatient this time.

"I'm fucking coming!" I growled under my breath. Suddenly Kaname rolled over and grabbed me, snuggling and curling his body against my back. I laughed and kissed his arm that he'd wrapped around my chest.

"I have to get the door." He groaned, nuzzling his face into my hair and then I heard the door click open and rolled my eyes up to watch it swing open, stopping on a dime right before it would have slammed into the wall. Twister stood in the doorway with his hand raised as if he'd been about to knock again.

"Come in." I said and snuggled in against Kaname, enjoying the moment. Twister swept into the room and it was only as he grabbed the door and was hurriedly closing it that I heard the commotion in the hallway. He leaned on the door and seemed to be catching his breath. Well, shit. That wasn't a good sign. I tapped Kaname's arm and tried to scoot away so that I could stand up. His arm tightened for a moment and he took a deep breath, clearly as reluctant as me to let go of the intimacy of the moment. Right as I was getting ready to tell him to let me go he leaned up and placed a full but chaste kiss on my neck and rolled away from me so that he was on his opposite side. I sighed and rolled to my feet, biting my lip to hold in the protest noises trying to spill out as sharp pains speared through my lower stomach. It was a deep pain somewhere near my belly button that nearly had me doubling over. Okay. Maybe the sex had been a little too rough. I stood very carefully, wearing only the sating tank top I had put on to sleep in this morning. Twister very politely kept serious eye contact and I started at the anxiety and fear in his eyes.

"What is it, Twister? What is all the commotion?" There was a smudge of blood on the sleeve of his short sleeve t-shirt. He held his hands out towards me and took one step away from the door.

"My queen, you need to prepare yourself."

"Who's blood is that? Why are you here and not manning the gate?" He flinched a little and his heart rate spiked.

"I was at the gate, my queen."

"Why are you not there now?" He was so hesitant, cautious and scared. Seeing him like this made my own heart race. Kaname moved up beside me and the pain on his face sent a wave of panic through me. What was I missing? And what was that familiar scent on the air?

"Twister, tell me right now what is going on." He flinched a little at the command in my voice and looked to Kaname who tried to hug me to him then back to me. I shrugged off his arms and stepped forward. "Who's blood is that?!"

"Kira and I were manning the gate, about to switch shifts for the daylight hours when this...thing popped out of nowhere. One second the road was clear. The next there was a slender giant standing in the middle of it. He knelt and placed the bundle in his arms on the ground." He paused and frowned. "When he laughed their was something wrong with his teeth. I couldn't tell you what exactly but they weren't right and neither was his voice."

"He spoke. What did he say?" He shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"It only spoke three words." I ground my teeth and fought not to go over there and ring his neck until he spit it all out.

"What, Twister? _What_ three words?" I was trying very hard not to scream at him.

"For your queen." He looked at my face as I tried to fill in the blanks.

"What? Who-" I shook my head and smelled that Kaname was scared too, but of what? "Who's blood is that, Twister?" His fear spiked and he swallowed hard, telling me better than any words that whoever it was it was bad, before he finally said it.

"Zero's." My heart dropped into my feet and my stomach lurched into my throat so fast I fought not to throw up as the world spun. I made some strangled noise in the back of my throat and my knees buckled. Someone caught me before I hit the floor. I doubled over and put my head between my knees as I tried to breathe through the tears threatening to strangle me. Hands were on my shoulders, gently shaking me, trying to get my attention. I shook my head again and again as tears flowed down my face. No. Not my Zero. There has to be some mistake. It can't possibly be my Zero. No. No no no no no no nonononononononono-

"YUKI!" My head was jerked up by two fingers on my chin and Twister's face was stern and full of concern.

"Listen to me! Takuma has stabilized him until the doc can get back to campus."

"Why is Ian not here?" Kaname's voice came from behind me. Twister's eyes flicked over to Kaname before locking back on my eyes.

"He had to make a run into the city to retrieve a specific medication to treat something one of the students has. He is en route back to the academy as we speak." He made sure to keep very serious eye contact with me. "Are you still with me, my queen?" I tried to nod but his firm grip on my chin prevented that so I settled for mumbling out a strangled yes.

"Great. Now listen to me. Zero is conscious, for now. He has done nothing but call for you since he came to. You must go to him." I nodded as my strength came back in a jarring rush. My Zero was calling for me. He wanted _me_. I had to go to him. I jerked free and was on my feet and running out the door so fast that my body stumbled, trying to keep up with the changes. I stopped when I realized I had no idea where Zero was and Twister blasted past me.

"Follow me." He called over his shoulder. I ran faster than I ever had in my life, trying to keep up with Twister's much longer stride. He ran full throttle, trusting that I would be able to keep up one way or another. I gasped loudly as pain speared through my gut and when I didn't stop a fire raged deep within me. I was breathless, dripping with sweat and shaking from fear and pain when we crashed into the infirmary. Everyone turned to look at us and suddenly there was a clear path to Zero as they parted to let me pass. I swayed on my feet, seeing him laying there. He was so covered in blood that I only knew it was him by the smell. His head rolled slowly toward me and he groaned. His eyes were more purple than I remembered, surrounded by the rich red of his blood. I knew it was all his because I smelled no one else on him. He swallowed and turned his head quickly to the side, coughing hard, a thick, wet sound, spewing fresh blood. He looked at me and whatever he saw made him cry.

"You have made quite an enemy, little queen." I nodded and wanted more than anything to touch him, but I didn't know where I could do that without causing him pain.

"I have many enemies, Zero. Whoever did this to you is certainly one of them. Do you know who did this?" He smiled slightly and coughed again.

"Not exactly. I do know that she was beautiful, if psychotic is a sexy flavor for you." He closed his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, fighting through a wave of pain. "I'm a present for you." He moaned in pain as his muscles seized and he half curled on his side. I reached out to him unconsciously as my heart raged in fury and pain at seeing him like this. His hand snapped out and I winced as he gripped my wrist, squeezing it tight as he moaned loudly in pain. I frowned down at the odd, slick feel of his hand on me and wasn't quite sure what I was looking at, so I did what my brain wanted and looked away. I felt the bones of my slim wrist grind beneath his grip. I ground my teeth, not making a sound, and allowed him to grip me tight. It was like I was his last anchor, reminding him that there was something else other than pain. His spine bowed and he took a screaming inhale, his grip tightening until I felt more than heard my wrist crunch. I must have made some noise because Takuma and Senri moved forward, hands reaching out to Zero's hand on my wrist. I shook my head and held up a hand to stop them. They paused but I knew they didn't like it. My whole arm throbbed and ached from the pain ebbing up from my now broken wrist. When his body finally fell still again his hand loosened but didn't fall away nor did I move it from his grip. After a few moments he spoke again, voice hoarse.

"'I'm going to bring everything you have worked for down around you, destroy everything you love until you beg for death. Reconsider my offer Yuki, for this is the last time I will extend it.'" His body shivered and then spasmed and he cried out, eyes rolling back into his head. His hand closed on my wrist again and I cried out as pain seared up my arm and into my shoulder like a bolt of electricity. I had a death grip on the metal of the examining table and breathed through the pain. I stared at Zero as he writhed in pain.

"Where's...the blood...coming from?" I panted out. I couldn't see where he was bleeding from. Takuma moved forward so that I could see him.

"Pretty much everywhere, my lady." I ground my teeth and spoke through the pain.

"Where?...Show me." I heard someone in the background protest but Takuma simply stared into my eyes as if analyzing me.

"Are you certain?" He was giving me the chance to not see whatever he didn't want me to see but I knew if I said yes he would show me. In truth I didn't want to see. I couldn't stand seeing Zero like this but I had to. If I didn't I would never be able to forgive myself. And I _had_ to. I couldn't explain it but I just _had_ to.

"Yes." I ground out. He nodded once and gave me his back as he grabbed a pair of scissors and sliced at Zero's shirt until it fell away. I cried out and swayed a little, glad for my grip on the table. I stared in horror at all the red not sure what I was looking at. It was my brain giving me a chance to look away before I was never able to unsee this, before I saw something that would haunt my dreams. I fought to keep looking until I finally saw it. My blood felt like it boiled as my skin went cold. Those taught muscles I had loved so much were exposed to me in all their raw nature, so red and grotesque like muscle knitted over bone. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. Takuma moved on to getting the jeans off and I cringed at the thought of how painful it had been for her to dress him like this. Zero's eyes opened and I saw that they were filled with tears as he gasped through the pain. He cried out as a part of the jeans pulled away from him with a wet suction noise. I swallowed hard as bile rose to the back of my throat and forced myself to keep looking at his face. She had skinned him, leaving only his face and neck intact so that we would be even more surprised when we examined him. His whole body jerked and he suddenly screamed as the last of the cloth was pulled away with something like a tearing sound. I cried out again as his fingers dug into me but moved so that I could touch my free hand to his cheek.

"We're here, Zero...I'm here, baby." His scream died abruptly and all I could hear was his pounding heart as his eyes slid shut and he passed out. The acrid, bitter smell of vomit cut through the air and I looked over to see Ruka and someone else throwing up in the double sink on the other side of the table. I was scared but I had to look anyway. She had been thorough, removing everything, and I do mean _everything._ The world was a little fuzzy around the edges as I took it all in and I realized I had stopped breathing. My stomach contracted hard and pain shot through my belly again as bile surged up. I swallowed convulsively and focused everything I had on not throwing up. I took a shallow breath before looking up at Takuma who looked like he was about to be sick as he held a ziploc bag he'd fished from somewhere up to the light.

"Oh god." Someone said to the right of me and I heard the splash of someone else throwing up. How many people were in this room? Takuma's eyes had lost focus and he was swallowing convulsively as he stared at the bag. I held my hand out and he handed it over without even thinking about it. A sickly sweat beaded along his face and I really didn't want to see what was in the bag. I lifted it to the light to see what looked like thinly sliced, bloody strips of pepperoni. I regretted the thought the second it came because I almost lost it right there. I glanced down and knew what it was that I was looking at, or at least I thought I did. I looked back up at Takuma with abject horror on my face.

"Is this-"

"Oh god, don't say it!" Hanabusa groaned from my left. Takuma gave me a shaky nod. I was dangerously close to throwing up my insides all over the place. I had to hand the bag off to Someone so Hanabusa took it and the room was so quiet that a church mouse probably would have scared the shit out of all of us in that moment. Zero's hand was loosely wrapped around my wrist even passed out like this. The feel of the exposed ligaments and fine muscles of his palm against my skin made me flinch.

"There's something else in there." Hanabusa whispered. We all watched him set the bag on the table edge and gingerly open it. His eyes flicked frantically around the room before he slowly slid his fingers into the baggie. I saw it then, a small, shiny piece of plastic. Busa made some small noise in the back of his throat when he had to shake one of the thin strips from the tiny plastic square before taking it out. It was small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. I watched his eyes widen and his breath came too fast as he read something. He dropped the plastic and the bag and spun away, barely making it to the trash can before he threw up. Oh god. What did it say? No one moved. I think none of us wanted to know and finally I stepped forward, bending to retrieve the small piece of plastic from the floor, leaving the bag on the table where Busa had dropped it. I flipped the small, laminated card over in my palm and read it. I swayed and had to sink down on my haunches and put my head between my knees, fighting the bile down. I stayed like that until the world didn't spin anymore.

"What does it say?" Kaname asked. I stood slowly, shakily, weaving on my feet from the effort to stand straight. I crushed the card in my hand as I maintained a death grip on the table edge. "Yuki?"

"For your chef: A delicious sausage to top any other. Hope you find him as tasty as I." Someone moaned and I looked across the table to see Takuma shaking, sweating profusely and swallowing as fast as he could. His eyes were wide, too wide as he looked at me, an apology swimming to the surface of those beautiful eyes. I shook my head at him as he put the back of his hand to his mouth.

"Please. Don't." I whispered. If anyone else threw up I was going to be next. He turned and fell to his knees as he finally gave in to the urge he'd been fighting for so long and that was it. I spun away as my revulsion and horror burned up my throat and out of my mouth to paint it's way across the floor. When I was done I slowly stood straight, swiping my hand across my mouth which was when I noticed I still wore nothing from the waist down and that Kaname had taken the time to throw on his pants. Rima came forward with a sheet in her hand when she saw me finally notice and I folded it in half before wrapping it around me.

"Where the fuck is Ian!" I yelled. The burst of sound reverberated off the walls making everyone, including Kaname jump. I wanted Ian back here so that he could do something to help Zero before he woke up again. No one answered me, probably because no one knew. We had all been so engrossed in the horror of what Sara had done to Zero. In the way of anything that is truly horrifying, we couldn't bring ourselves to look away once the unveiling had begun. Kaname turned his back on the spectacle so that he could face me. I scanned the room and found nearly half of our collective guard either crammed in the room or outside the door.

"Rima, Senri, Twister and Rome stay. The rest of you get the _fuck_ out of here!" My voice sounded more or less like a compacted growl and I was amazed at how quickly the numbers dwindled. I had chosen only those who I knew had not thrown up. Zero didn't deserve to be gawked at like this. In moments it was just Kaname and I and the guards I had selected. I realized I had been crying for a while now, how long though I wasn't sure. Kaname caught my attention and spoke.

"You are hurting." I glared at him and ignored the urge to say N _ooooo! I just fucking adore_ _seeing those I love shredded like confetti! How about you?_ He heaved a sigh and looked down at the floor for a long moment before nodding his head. He turned to face the table and hopped up on the it so that he straddled the red, raw meat that was Zero. His legs were spread as far as he could get them so that he wasn't touching Zero at all. I came forward suddenly and was pissed.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?!" He looked at me and there was an edge of caution and determination in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a while.

"I am going to heal him if you'll just shut up and let me." I was speechless for a moment and wanted to ask him how he was going to heal that much damage. Instead I simply stood there and watched him, waiting for a miracle. He stared back for a minute before nodding his head at me and turning back to the man under him. I watched his throat convulse as he swallowed hard while analyzing the damage. A small shudder ran down his spine.

"This will hurt Yuki, it's too much damage for it to be anything else but I'll try to make it as painless as possible. If at any time you try to interrupt me you could risk hurting the both of us. Do you understand?" I understood what he was saying but I was curious and had a thousand questions running through my mind. I could always ask them later.

"Yes."

He had never looked away from the bloody lump that was difficult to see as Zero beneath him. He said nothing else and I knew he was going to some far off place in his head as the air grew thick with his magic. My skin crawled with it and it felt for all the world like the room was flooding with water. It was cool and soothing, hypnotic even. I heard Senri sigh and softly echoed him. I slid my eyes shut as the pain that I had forgotten about in my lower stomach and wrist soothed like the power whispered sweet lullabies to it. Kaname made some small noise and I looked up to see his head thrown back as he breathed deep. His hair floated and moved around him like it was being moved by the current of water and his milky skin glowed like someone had trapped the light of a star within him. He turned his head to look at me and I was dumbstruck. His eyes glowed brighter than his skin with the swirling brilliance of flame and golden amber. I couldn't help but think that he looked like a perfect Hollywood rendition of a merman with his hair swirling around such an ethereal, mesmerizing beauty.

"Remember what I said." His voice was thick and seductive with his magic and I swear that his words echoed softly around me. I nodded, not sure I could speak at that moment. Just as he turned away from me and leaned over Zero his magic swirled up and over me so that I felt submerged in the liquid comfort of it. Someone behind me gasped. The illusion of swimming through water made it difficult to breathe and I had to concentrate on doing just that.

He leaned all that long upper body over Zero so that his chest was nearly parallel to him, without touching. His eyes slid shut as his hands hovered over the raw muscle around the remaining skin of Zero's throat. He frowned and then a small pop sounded through the room as it looked like he pushed his hands through something and placed them flat on the rawness below. Zero's body jerked as Kaname's hands glowed brilliantly with a light the color of his glowing skin only brighter. Zero's eyes flew open as wide as his mouth but no sound came from him like he was silently screaming. His spine bowed and Kaname instinctively moved with him so that nothing but his hands touched Zero. Kaname ran his hands very slowly down Zero's body, so slowly I almost couldn't see him moving at all. I moved so that I had a closer look at what was happening. Nothing super showy happened until Kaname was about halfway down Zero's chest, if you exclude the fact that Zero's skin was growing back imperceptibly as Kaname moved. It was like watching a time lapse video of a flower blooming or like Kaname was pulling the curtain back down over the meat of Zero's body. It was when Kaname was just above Zero's navel that he finally made a noise in his throat that sounded like real pain, jerking my heart into my throat. I had been so busy watching how he was healing Zero that I hadn't paid any real attention to what it might be doing to Kaname.

There was a fine sheen of sweat coating his body and his heart was racing. He smelled like terror and pain, a predators perfect prey. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his body trembled, fangs growing slowly so that all three inches of battle fang protruded from his mouth that was open wide as he panted. He suddenly shuddered violently and a guttural sound of agony crawled up his throat. This was hurting him, badly. He was experiencing Zero's pain. No vampire gift could be used without having a price and apparently the price for Kaname's ability to heal was this. My heart raced and ached from where it rammed repeatedly into my ribs.

He was nearly at Zero's hips now and I could see that he was fighting his body to stay still above Zero and not hurt him any more. His spine bowed and he sucked in a sharp breath, shaking. His throat convulsed and I knew he was choking down a scream and probably had been for a while now. Tears spilled down my cheeks seeing him in so much pain. Zero's arm snapped up suddenly and he gripped Kaname's arm. Kaname's eyes opened and the two of them stared at each other for a moment. Whatever he saw in Zero's eyes broke him because a low scream crept out of his throat and he slammed his eyes shut. His spine convulsed so that he writhed above Zero and he threw his head back and pierced the silence in the room with an ear-splitting scream of agony that combined with the acoustics of the room deafened me and I knew I would never forget that awful sound. My own pain rushed back and I noticed that the cool magic that had filled the room before was receding as Kaname had to concentrate everything he had on fighting to heal Zero through the pain.

I think he tried not to scream again but I saw his resolve break when he was on level with Zero's genitals. He perceptibly paused and I watched in awe as slowly, very slowly, Zero's member was reformed. Kaname screamed the entire time. When Zero once again was whole Kaname moved on and his screams became injured, hauntingly guttural, agonized moans. Kaname moved like everything hurt so that he knelt between Zero's legs and was nearly down to his knees now. He was almost done but the price Kaname had paid to get this far was obvious. His body was shaking violently, skin and even his hair that still swirled around him dripping with sweat. Kaname paused when he was just below Zero's knees, hanging his head, shoulders slumping, back rounding like he was about to collapse. I must have moved because he slowly lifted his head and his eyes met mine, exhaustion dulling the shine of them, face contorted in pain. He shook his head and my hand fell back to my side. He was going to finish, I could see it in his eyes. I nearly choked on my heart and the tears burning up the back of my throat as my heart swelled in my chest. I watched him force his shoulders back and his spine straight and his body spasmed with the effort, his head falling back on his spine so that he cried out in pain to the ceiling.

When he finally finished he was at the very end of the table. His eyes rolled back in his head and his muscles convulsed, spine bowing, throwing him backwards. I was rushing forward to catch him before he hit the floor but he never even got close. Zero moved in a blur, wrapping his arms around Kaname's waist and falling back against the table. He lay there with Kaname sprawled across his body, panting from the effort after so much blood loss. Twister moved around the table and began reaching out, I think to move Kaname, but Zero suddenly hugged the other man to him and glared at Twister who stared for a moment before holding his hands up in surrender and backing off.

I felt someone come forward and looked to see Senri and Rima staring in awe at the spectacle before us. Kaname had his head on Zero's chest, head to the side so that I could see the strong, incredibly handsome lines of his face slack from his efforts. He had passed out, probably from some combo of exhaustion and pain, and yet his eyebrows remained slightly furrowed as if even now he was in pain. His arm draped across Zero's shoulder to hang loosely off the side of the table. His body lay between Zero's legs, the other arm laying in a line against the outside of Zero's left leg.

Zero lay there, panting and just as sweaty as Kaname but I was betting that if I touched his skin it would be cold to the touch. He moved his left arm so that his hand rested on Kaname's back, bringing his other arm up so that he could wrap it under Kaname's arm and actually hug the other man to him. We all stood there and stared open mouthed at the unbelievable scene before us. Zero had no memory of who or what Kaname was. He didn't know the things the man in his arms had done and it was very likely that he had never even seen Kaname before today as far as he knew. His first memory of the other man would be that of Kaname saving him from the world of suffering he'd been forced to endure at a huge cost to himself, seemingly a purely selfless act. Why had Kaname done it? Why would he do so much for a man he hates? I was confused and suspected an ulterior motive and yet as I stared at him draped across Zero in his brand new skin that Kaname had labored and suffered to replenish I couldn't help the way my heart swelled and my eyes filled with tears again. He had saved my Zero from so much pain. The why at the moment hardly mattered. Zero rolled his head to look at me, eyes half-lidded and dim from exhaustion the way Kaname's had been.

"You really should mind who's Cheerios you shit in." His eyes slid shut and a few moments later he was out. We didn't even try to separate the two of them. We arranged them so that they wouldn't fall off and carried the detachable table top upstairs and down the string of hallways to my room where we tucked them in the bed together. Zero groaned and wrapped his arm around Kaname's waist, curling his body against the very comatose, slightly taller man. I smiled as he nuzzled his nose into the hair at the base of Kaname's skull and still couldn't believe that I was actually seeing this shit. The old Zero would probably have rather died than be seen cuddling with the lord of all vampires. Hanabusa suddenly spoke from behind me and I jumped so hard that I think I actually cleared the floor and promptly winced from the stab of pain from both my wrist and stomach.

"I really wish I had a camera right now." I cocked my head at him when I saw that he was smiling like a loon. A small furrow creased the skin between his eyebrows and he put his hands on his hips. "They look absolutely beautiful like this." I stared back at them and had to agree. The pure, moonlit silver of Zero's hair against the raven black of Kaname's hair, a color so dark that their were hints of dark blue and purple, colors you'd only find in the feathers of a raven or an oil slick, made the platinum and brilliant silver of Zero's emphasize his dark and visa versa. Zero was slightly shorter but his shoulders were broader, his body more muscled from so much fighting and weapons/martial arts training, a newer development at the academy. He must have been hitting the weights during his time outside the academy these last two months because he'd earned a little bulk to those fine muscles. Kaname was lean and more slender than Zero with more the athletic physique of a dancer. No one had skin paler than Zero. The shock of seeing all that creamy, snow-white skin stripped away from him made me shudder again. The incredible paleness of Zero's flesh against the more peach-toned complexion of Kaname was as beautiful as the rest. They were such a perfect contrast that I was mesmerized. Busa must have been too because neither of us spoke as we stood side by side and stared in awe at the two men in my life cuddled up to each other. _How perfect life would be if I could only crawl between them and never have to leave again._ I smiled at the thought and knew that the peace of the scene before me wouldn't last. But I could enjoy it while it was here. I winced and clutched at my stomach with my right hand, the left hanging uselessly at my side. Busa looked down and then caught my eyes.

"We should look at your wrist before it heals like this and we have to break it again to reset it." I nodded and let him take my right arm to guide me away. I craned my neck to keep looking at Zero and Kaname curled together until we disappeared around the doorway and all I wanted was to go back to them. I sighed as we walked back to the infirmary. I had a niggling feeling that my life was about to get immeasurably more complicated. Why was that always the case?

… **...**

 **Nearly nightfall two days later**

I sat in the chair by the window staring at the peacefulness of Kaname and Zero. It had been a rough two days and watching them sleep was relaxing. It worried me that neither of them had stirred more than to shift in their sleep. Zero lay on his back, right arm flung out to the side, hair splayed around him and partially over his face that was lost in Kaname's hair, his left arm trapped under the other man's head and neck, trailing in a line down Kaname's back. Kaname had his face tucked into Zero's neck, arm flung over his chest and his left leg wound around Zero's left leg. The sheet was tangled around Kaname's legs and only by some trick of fate was the thing barely covering Zero's cock, leaving the rest of him bare for the eyes to wander. I closed my eyes and had just relaxed into the chair when I heard one of them shuffling. When I opened my eyes I found Kaname propped up on one arm as his other hand rubbed at his eyes. He glanced down and fell stone still.

"Yuki, why am I in bed with Zero? Where are his clothes?" I chuckled and stood up, moving to the other side of the bed where I sat on the corner, propping my back against the bed post. He flicked his eyes over to me then back to the very naked Zero just beside him.

"You have been asleep for two days. We assumed that you had completely spent yourself when you passed out after healing Zero." His face fell into lines of pain as he stared down at Zero. "As soon as you finished you passed out and would have crashed to the floor. Zero grabbed you and fell back to the table with you. He wouldn't let us take you from him, even in his sleep." In truth, Kaname hadn't let go of Zero either. They had found comfort in each other while resting and healing. It was absolutely adorable the way they had clung to each other these past two days, but I'd never tell _him_ that. "We brought you up here and tucked you both in, figuring you'd heal faster anyway if you were together." He still stared down at Zero.

"I haven't seen anyone tortured like that since..." He let his statement trail off, shook his head but continued. "Purebloods and Aristocrats let go of the old ways of torture thinking it below their pedigree to practice something so barbaric. For thousands of years now they've found ways to use their magic to get anything they might have once needed to torture to get. It was never formally outlawed but torture by blade is a taboo amongst the upper-crust of vampire kind."

"You do know who did this, don't you?" My voice was cold, all traces of comfort and relaxation gone in the wake of such conversation. His eyes looked up to me and they were haunted.

"What did you do to her to inspire such cruelty?" My mouth dropped open in shock before I snapped it shut and anger began to kindle inside me.

"I have a better question for you. Why the fuck is she even alive? I thought she was supposed to be dead?" He looked back down to Zero.

"As did I." His voice was soft and then he eased himself back down against Zero. My jaw dropped so hard I thought it might have punched it's way through the earth. He laid his head on Zero's chest and closed his eyes. I suspect he was listening to Zero's heart beat and he looked absolutely comfortable. His eyes suddenly opened and a small smile pulled his mouth up at the corners when he saw my face.

"You were right. We do heal faster when someone lay beside us." I closed my mouth and we sat in silence for a moment.

"When you wiped his memories, you erased yourself too didn't you?" His eyes that had wandered snapped back to mine and he shifted, doing a good job of making it look like he was readjusting, but I knew he was uncomfortable. He should be.

"Yes. I left behind only the knowledge of who I am. To do anything else would make it obvious that something was wrong. My face and name are too well known for his memories to be completely without my presence but I took everything else." I was mad for a moment. Mad that Zero had no idea what he'd lost or that the man he lay with had taken it from him.

"You saving him from the pain consuming his world and possibly saving his life. That will be his first memory of you, the first thing you ever did for him as far as he knows." I scoffed. Zero's first memory of me was that of being his captor while Kaname got a golden fucking halo. Irony at her best, no? I was quiet, stewing in jealousy of Kaname's first impression on Zero and pissed at the cruelty of it all. I was quiet so long and lost so deep in my own thoughts that I didn't notice Kaname watching me.

"You haven't touched him. Not once." His voice was soft, inquisitive. I let my head fall back against the bed post. The only contact I had had with Zero was when he'd held onto me in the infirmary and I had a broken wrist to prove it. I hadn't even touched him when we moved them from there to here. "Why?" He sounded confused, as if he had expected me to be all over Zero. I glared at him cuddled so casually next to the man in question.

"You saved him. All he knows of me is that I held him captive."

"Well clearly you let him go." he said it as if that made the situation better somehow. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I did." Or at least I had tried.

"Why don't you come over here and lay next to him? He'll heal faster." I didn't think Zero needed healing as much as he did time to overcome the exhaustion, time to rest. It was a tempting idea regardless but my heart constricted. I shook my head.

"I can't." I couldn't stand to hold him so close when he didn't know me. It felt to close to kindling unrequited love, only it was worse since at one time, Zero was mine. A time all too brief.

"Why?" I didn't answer him. I just sat there in silence. "Sara is a formidable woman." I smiled but didn't move.

"Is the _great_ Kaname Kuran afraid of one small woman."

"She survived an execution that she couldn't possibly have lived through. I know not how, but she did."

"How was she 'killed'?" He sighed deeply.

"The Shirabuki line is only marginally less powerful then my own. Sara is the head of her line and the last. Many suspect that she killed off her own family, though none other than she could ever fathom a reason why, she would go to such lengths. There was never any proof. If there were she would have been executed a long time ago because as you know, killing purebloods is the greatest crime amongst us."

"Do _you_ think she killed them?"

"Yes. I believe that Sara was enraged that her father was the head of their line and not her." I frowned.

"Why should she be mad about that? It is our way of things." He nodded.

"It is the way of things now, but it was not always so. Before vampire society truly started to thrive and grow to the point where it became necessary to establish order by declaring the head of family lines we deferred to the oldest by making, not biological age or status within a family. Technically speaking Sara is seven years older than I by biological numbers." I did look at him then.

"But you are the progenitor of the species so how is that possible?"

"I made her. She was a human girl, a woman at that time, of nineteen. I fed from her and gave her my blood and every day thereafter she was a pureblood vampire. I made the head of every vampire line but _she_ turned her family when she realized she would have to live without them. They deferred to her knowledge and seniority as a vampire. Then the new order set in and her father replaced her. I think she might have been content to simply reign over her family, being one of the highest ranking in the vampire world. When that wasn't possible I watched her slow evolution to the duplicitous wretch she now is." He seemed to take a moment to formulate his thoughts before continuing.

"Without evidence everything was speculation, you see. I disappeared for a long while and the next time I saw her she had two family members left and both yielded the title she so badly desired for fear of death, but legalities didn't provide them that right. Even though they obeyed and deferred to her as if she was the head of their line her brother was still her lord. Apparently even that was not good enough for her. It was many years later that I encountered her again and she was alone this time. The last of the Shirabuki line and _finally_ the head of it, again. Everyone had their suspicions but she was always very clever and no evidence of foul play ever surfaced." He closed his eyes and patted Zero's chest absentmindedly. "After seeing what she did to him I am now convinced that she deployed other methods at ensuring she was never caught."

"You think she tortured all of them?"

"Mmm-hmm. Viciously."

"And she was finally executed for killing her fiance, right?"

"I specifically came for her to ensure her destruction. Had Takuma not gotten in my way and protected her I would have succeeded."

"Takuma?" He nodded. I remembered feeling his heart, his deepest emotions. He had loved and not been loved in return. Hurt endlessly. _Go ahead. Give him the order to kill me. We shall see who commands his loyalty in the end._ No, Taki, no. Why?! My denial screamed at me, at how my beloved Takuma could be tangled up with something like Sara.

"She was cruel to him wasn't she?" He looked up at me in surprise.

"He would not have told you."

"That he loves her?" His eyes widened.

"How-"

"It doesn't take a genius to plug the pieces in and figure out how everything adds up." Though it had taken me long enough, hadn't it? He frowned at me as if he knew I wasn't telling him everything. His eyes reflected a deep sadness and he looked at the wall next to me, eyes glazing over in memory.

"Yes. Takuma has been in love with her for a very long time, though I never knew why. She has hurt him, torn into him in ways that I cannot begin to describe, broken him and abused him and still he loves her. But if what she harbors for him is love I cannot fathom it." Rage blurred my vision.

"How did she supposedly die?"

"She attempted to kill me when my anti-vampire weapon armed itself and spitted her to the nearest tree. I couldn't even begin trying to explain how that happened." He looked away. "I do not think Takuma ever forgave me for her death." My heart broke for my friend. "He was my friend for thousands of years."

"Well she isn't dead, it would seem." He frowned.

"And don't think that doesn't piss me off." His voice was scathing as he said it. "Five years I have thought her dead and every day I looked into Takuma's eyes I saw her loss, his anger!" His eyes slammed shut and he seemed to be breathing through his rage and confusion. Yeah. I could see why he'd be pissed. Count to ten, buddy. On second thought maybe make that a hundred.

"Wow." He hummed his agreement absentmindedly. "What a cunt." His eyes flew open wide and he stared at me in shock for a few seconds before he grinned wide and finally laughed.

"You never cease to surprise me, Yuki." I ignored his comment because I would have had nothing nice to say to it but offered him a small smile and he fell silent again.

"What offer did she propose?" It was my turn to sigh.

"I don't much feel like story time so let me sum the whole night up for you. I slept with Zero. He jumped out a window to avoid your wrath via my request. You and I fought. I got a phone call from Dai saying we had a shit-storm of vampire hunters and wannabes coming our way. I ran to get you so that you could be escorted safely away from here while I manned our defense and found you stealing Zero's memories. I tried to kill you then had you sent away anyway. Zero was locked away for safe keeping until the battle was over where I held him for nine days. I got shot in the chest with an anti-vampire weapon defending an injured Hanabusa and blew up our enemies, passing out afterward. I woke up in a room, not mine, with Takuma and Sara. She introduced herself and we chatted. Basically she confessed to rigging the whole god damn siege and the attack at the Halloween dance and in typical bad guy fashion confessed that her plan was to eliminate you and I so that she could take the crown. She did mention that right before the attack she hovered outside the window to Zero's room and watched me try to kill you and pretty much divorce your ass which is why she thought I'd simply fold and allow her to take my place by your side. I told her to her to fuck off and challenged her. She fled through the window to avoid having to fight Busa, Ruka and Senri with a parting warning that I'd made an enemy where I could have had an ally. The end." I spewed all of it out so fast that I almost sounded like one of those super annoying auctioneers that talk too damn fast.

"Wow."

"Yep. It was a hell of a night."

"I still cannot believe you had them escort me away when you were about to fight something of that magnitude." I shrugged.

"If we both would have fallen who would be left to rule? More importantly, I wanted to kill you so I figured it wasn't very healthy for either of us to have that temptation on an open battlefield." He scowled at me and I smiled brilliantly.

"Did you really want to kill me?" I stared him right in the eyes and felt the cold weight in them as I remembered that night and still smiling gave him nothing but the truth.

"Yes." I left it at that but that one word conveyed everything I wanted it to. His eyes widened and I smelled despair in the air. Fuck his feelings. He'd never thought about mine. I closed my eyes again and tried to relax against the bed post.

"Why did you challenge Sara when you were injured so grievously?"

"She's a coward. Twice she attacked me, never once trying to do it herself and both times she failed. I gambled that she was too chicken shit to try anything in person because she underestimated me, twice, and wasn't sure what I was capable of. Plus I used the threat of company coming for her." I shrugged. "I figured I had about an 80/20 chance of winning the bet." He made a noise of surprise deep in his throat.

"If Sara cannot lord over all of vampire kind she will see it destroyed. Her... _'present'_ to you was a warning. You should not take her lightly. She is dangerous." I sat forward and felt the cold surety in my eyes as I looked into Kaname's. She had hurt my friend for far too long, nearly killed both Zero and I at least twice now and was threatening the safety of my people. She was dead.

"You are wrong. What she did to Zero wasn't a warning. It was a declaration of war." His eyes widened and fear flashed through them as I smiled and knew the devil looked the same way after someone signed their soul over to him. "I hope she enjoys her last days because the bitch is dead. She just doesn't know it yet." Just then Zero's eyes opened and from the look in them I knew that he had heard at least the last couple minutes of our conversation. My heart jumped in my chest as those lavender orbs locked on to my eyes.

"It sounds to me, little queen, that she shouldn't take you very lightly either." I smiled and looked at Kaname who had jumped like he'd been goosed in the ass when Zero spoke.

"She shouldn't." he swallowed hard and nodded his head. Their was no other option. Sara Shirabuki had to die. Unfortunately that meant that I'd have to see Takuma's heart break and might be the one to do the breaking, but there were no other options on the table. I smiled as I saw Zero eye the fact that Kaname was still lying against him.

When his eyes met mine I heard something click, something that no one else seemed to hear, a click that sounded like something setting into motion. I frowned as suddenly my heart seemed to have an echo. The soft echo stuttered at first and was slowly paced and then it picked up in tempo, matching my own. I frowned and put my hand over my heart. What the hell was going on? Why was my heart echoing?

"Oh my god..." Kaname whispered. I waited for the echo to go away but it grew faster and faster until it raced at every two beats for my one. Why did that sound familiar? I jumped to my feet and let out a squeal of terror. I looked up at the two men who were staring at me with wide eyes, mouths hanging open.

"Is that- Am I-...?" I couldn't finish the question as my heart hammered around frantically in my chest. The room seemed to spin and I staggered back a step, placing my hands on the flat expanse of my stomach. The hummingbird hum of that tiny little bass drum fluttered not too far below my hands. I was breathing too fast and knew I was going to hyperventilate if I didn't get it under control but I couldn't seem to get enough air. Kaname swept over the edge of the bed and was in front of me faster than I could blink. He reached out with both hands but I frantically backed away. No. No no no no no no no! This couldn't be happening! Not now! Zero eased up beside Kaname a look of awe on his face.

"You're pregnant, little queen. Congratulations." I kept my incredibly wide eyes on Zero's but saw Kaname grinning in my peripherals as he tried to come forward and hug me. I backed up as fast as I could and then someone turned out my lights and gravity sucked me down. The last thing I remember was the dim sound of someone shouting.

 **A/N- I'm so excited to hear some feedback for this chapter! I simply couldn't stop writing and was absolutely blown away by some of the decisions made in this installment to the story. I just want to make it clear that by the end of this chapter it has only been three days since Ruka's pregnancy has become apparent. I know that so much has happened in so short a time span that it is a little confusing at times. My heart goes out to a few characters in this part of the story. ***snifflesnifflesniffle*** Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it and I look forward to hearing from you!**

 **And now I am going to immerse myself in the world of davrosfan's creation! Ta-ta, duckies!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Firstly, thank you to those who reviewed last chapter: TaylaK11, Katelyn, davrosfan, ben4kevin, DemonicBallerina, myra k kuran, The Psycho Vampire, LuthielxXxLight and the heidilynn. I particularly enjoyed the reactions I got from some of you. As always it is a true joy to hear from you, so thank you for the dedication, love and support you give me! ;-* Secondly, I must apologize for the excruciating gap between updates. I have been working on some personal writing and picked up several obligations that have barred me from writing for this, or any other, fic.**

 **I understand that there was some confusion from a few people in the last chapter about both Yuki's pregnancy and how Kaname "made" Sara and the other heads of the vampire lines. I'd like to take this moment to address both of these questions. First, let me clarify that Yuki was never determinately barren. The reading from Colleen, the Irish witch, was sort of intentionally vague, as nearly all things mystical usually are.**

 **Now, in regards to Kaname "making" Sara...it has been brought to my attention that this whole addition might skew the definition of what it means to be a "pureblood". So, I'll try to explain for you, as much as possible without spoilers, my take on the creation of the vampire species. I have not read the manga from beginning to end yet but I have watched the anime, obviously lol. It is my understanding that Kaname is the progenitor of the entirety of the vampire race, though as far as I know, and you're welcome to tell me otherwise, it is never discussed how they all came to be, other than to recognize Kaname as their creator/God. I figured he had to of started somewhere, so creating the heads of every vampire line seemed a great way to do it. For me I interpreted it that Kaname's bite combined with his blood would mark the creation of a pureblood. I'm pretty sure that at the point in the anime where Zero is slipping into the madness and thirst of a level E it is revealed that only the blood of whomever bit him could save him from this fate. When that opportunity slips through his hands Kaname then reveals that his blood can save him too and forces Zero to feed from him for Yuki's sake, obviously something we can attribute to Kaname having fathered them all...but ya'll know that. Zero became an aristocrat and a hunter by some trick of fate, having all the strengths of the hunters and something else unique to Zero (I think) in my story. There is more information to come about all of this in later chapters. Promise!**

 **As always I am eager to answer any and all questions you might have. Either PM me or leave your inquisitions in a review and I'll try to get back to you A.S.A.P. Now, without any further ado I present you with chapter seven. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer- Graphic violence and gore, explicit sexual descriptions**

 **Yuki's POV**

My mind spun and whirled with the high tempo base rhythm of that little heart beat. My eyes flew open wide and I sprang up. The sheet that had been covering me slipped down to puddle at my waist, revealing that I was naked. I frowned in confusion, placing my hands lightly against my stomach, like I would hurt the thing inside me if I moved to quickly. Something shuffled to the side of me, the sheet tugging at my waist and rustling. I whipped my head to the left to find Zero laying on his side, lilac eyes staring up at me through a thin veil of that lustrous silver hair. He didn't move or speak, he just stared at me while my own heart raced, trying to catch up to the much smaller one I now nourished. I stared into those eyes and a wave of nausea swept through me. I was breathing too fast, a light sweat breaking out over my skin. Zero frowned slightly, his eyes flicking briefly down to my stomach before meeting my eyes again. I focused everything I had on those marvelous eyes, trying to anchor myself before the world spun out from under my feet. Pregnant. I was pregnant. How? Who? Why now? My mind raced as I tried to piece everything together. My eyes widened and I stopped breathing when I finally had a full picture in my head. Oh god. I think I started to fall back to the bed but suddenly I was in Zero's arms.

"You should calm yourself before you pass out again, little queen." Calm down? Calm down! How the fuck was I supposed to do that? "Breathe." He mumbled gently. It seemed like he was always telling me to do that. I took a deep, shaky breath and smelled Kaname in the air, though he was nowhere to be seen now.

"Where is he?" I didn't have to specify because Zero answered as if he knew I'd ask that question eventually, it was only a matter of when.

"Your husband stripped you down and tucked you in bed with us for a while. He only just left about an hour ago saying something about finding a doctor for you."

"We have a doctor here on campus already." He shrugged and I moved with the motion of it, still held safely in his arms.

"I believe he wishes to find a special doctor. One who will tend to you and Ruka specifically." He raised his eyebrow and smirked slightly. "It is my understanding that your lord is expecting two babies from two separate mothers." He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling in mock contemplation. "How scandalous." I held my breath as I watched him speak and my heartbeat nearly tripled. He looked down at me curiously, cocking his head to the side.

If only he knew just how scandalous this whole thing really was he'd laugh himself into an early grave...or kill me. Zero opened his mouth as if he was about to say something when the door opened. He whipped his head to the left to watch the person enter, leaving me staring at the painful beauty of his profile. I moved my head much slower to find Kaname stopped in the doorway, staring at the two of us, me held very nearly against Zero's chest, his face completely blank. Suddenly Zero moved, settling me firmly in place before he stood beside the bed. Kaname and I both stared at the nude perfection of the man before us, well...it was more likely that Kaname was glaring his discontent at Zero. _I_ was staring raptly at the pale perfection of Zero and my heart stuttered. I had to look away, staring at Kaname instead who was now staring at me. His face softened suddenly and he moved towards me. It was sheer force of will that kept me calm as Kaname sat beside me and very gingerly placed his finger tips on the flat, naked expanse of my stomach until the massively broad width of his hand nearly covered the entirety of it. I swallowed hard as I saw the look of awe, wonder and pure love fill his eyes. No.

I looked over to Zero, seeing him too watching the exchange between Kaname and I, my eyes wide and panic filled. There he was, my beautiful Zero. He stood nude and flawless not ten feet from me. He'd come back to me, just like father had said he would. Zero suddenly looked at me and I snapped my eyes back to the man beside me, not wanting Zero to see the utter terror racing through my veins right now. It was all so complicated. Zero had come back as a message for me, but he was back. He had no memories of me thanks to a certain someone. But why had Kaname healed Zero at his own expense? Why, after everything, had he saved him when he could have watched him suffer?

"Yuki?"

Why had Kaname stripped me and slept with me between them? How was I going to deal with Sara now that I was pregnant? She could not be allowed to go unchecked. If I still pursued her could I live with the possibility of losing the baby growing inside me? Speaking of the baby, how was I going to take care of it in the midst of a war? How could I bring a child into this world, into my life when everything I am is politics and bloodshed now with brief moments of happiness? How? So many questions with no answers to be found, at least not ones that weren't complicated beyond belief. Why did my life have to be so fucking complicated?

"Yuki?"

How was I supposed to tell him? How were we supposed to do this? As far as Zero knows I am nothing more than a scared woman, pregnant with a disloyal husband's baby who briefly held him captive. Kaname stole everything else and yet he gave Zero back the skin he so boldly stood in now. I shook my head and frowned. That didn't change what he had done.

"Yuki!" I felt my head slowly turn so that I stared into Kaname's face from inches away, mind racing in time with my baby's heart. He smiled beautifully even though his eyes showed the worry he very nearly hid. "We did it. We're pregnant!" You couldn't miss the joy in his voice. I stared blankly at him for a few moments waiting to feel the joy he did. Waiting to love the man in front of me with even half as much glow as that which lit his eyes. I waited, sitting still beneath his attentions as he rubbed his hand in small circles over my stomach mumbling something in a language I had never heard. I waited as long as I could and in the end when I slid out from his possessive, loving hands and to my feet I felt nothing. I stood with my back to Kaname at the foot of the bed and just breathed and welcomed the numb, hollow warmth setting up shop inside of me.

"Yuki? We're _pregnant_." His voice was quiet and sounded like he was asking me _why aren't you happy about this?_ He just didn't get it. I shook my head and turned to face him.

"And you think this is good news." Not a question, a statement that threw him for a loop. His face looked like I had just kicked him in the lungs.

"Yes. This is amazing news! It's everything we have ever wanted."

"It's everything you've wanted." Again he looked shocked.

"You don't want my baby?" I smiled cynically at him, though every emotion felt dimmed down as if they shone like a lone candle in the dark as opposed to an LED flashlight. Kaname had never hidden his desire for a child.

"No. I want no man's child." His jaw hit the floor so hard I swear I heard a bell in his head ring.

"You don't want children?"

"I did. Once. If you'd of cared enough to ask you'd know that." His mouth snapped shut and he stood slowly from where he sat on the bed.

"You lie. I saw how you reacted to Ruka's pregnancy. I saw the way it weighed in your gaze. You do want children. You're just scared." I felt my rage surface and tried to nurse it but all I got was a dull warmth from it. Something was very wrong with me.

"Yes! I _am_ scared! I'm scared shitless of bringing a child into this life of violence, polite deception and war!" I was screaming but felt so empty inside that the sound seemed to echo deep within me. "Blood, Kaname! A sea of blood and shit that this child won't know shit about! _Our_ blood, _our_ shit and that of our enemies. How can you stand there and smile, chastise me for not wanting this?" He was quiet, eyes gleaming slightly.

"But it's our baby, Yuki. How can I not be happy about that? How can I _not_ smile when we are pregnant?" I turned from him, and the image of the smile of a hopeful, loving father stretching the face of a man I'd once imagined myself adoring for eternity. I shook my head as a pang of something desperately sad went through me.

"No. _I'm_ pregnant. _You_ are leaving." My voice sounded as hollow as I felt.

"Yuki?" I heard him coming closer and shook my head while walking toward the armoire, moving out of reach under the guise of getting clothes.

"I have a lot to think about." He stopped and was quiet for a moment.

"I understand." I paused while walking, eyes widening. I'd expected to have to fight him on this, so him leaving was almost too easy, too good to be true.

"Come Zero. We will leave Yuki to her thoughts." Ah. That's why he'd caved so easily.

"No." My voice was soft but firm as I swung open the doors to the armoire. "I have some questions I'd like to ask Zero before he leaves."

"Then I will stay." I shook my head and glanced at him over my shoulder as I slipped on a pair of underwear.

"I do not need your supervision."

"Why does he get to stay while I must go?" He sounded very much like a bitchy teenager and for some reason I could suddenly feel all the rage I should have been feeling the whole time in high definition.

"BECAUSE _HE_ DOESN'T PISS ME OFF!" I closed my eyes and panted through the fire raging through me. I counted slowly to twenty and then spoke through clenched teeth. "Anything you might once have had cause to worry about you needn't bother anymore. You made damn sure your way was the _only_ way." He stared at me for a minute, glancing at Zero before he came back to me. I was almost shocked when he averted his gaze to the floor, nodding before turning and making his way out of the room. I stood there and watched him leave in disbelief. When the door clicked closed behind him my shoulders slumped and a sigh of relief left me. I turned back to the armoire, ignoring Zero's eyes on me, and abruptly fell to my knees, my spine going jelly on me suddenly. I felt more than heard him moving but I shook my head.

"I'm fine. I just need a moment." He stopped without further question and one hot tear rolled down my cheek. I breathed deeply, shoving down all the questions screaming through my head for answers, the misery trying to wash over me. I heaved a heavy sigh and hauled myself to my feet to go through the clothes in the armoire. When I was dressed in a pair of black skinny-jeans and a teal tank-top with a matching bra I turned to face Zero, a pair of rainbow striped socks in my hands. He eyed the colorful socks, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth, before he looked up at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say, _really?_ I did need to talk to him but the only place to sit was the bed and I didn't think I'd be able to ask him what I needed to know if we sat there. I sat and began slipping my socks on, nodding at the floor in front of me.

"Sit. Please. Let's talk." He came a little closer and then flopped, if the graceful way he fell could be called that, casually folding his legs under him and leaning back on his hands. He stared patiently and I sighed as I pulled the other sock on before folding my legs. I stared at him for a long few minutes, trying to figure out where to start and then Zero solved it for me.

"You harbor quite a bit of...rage against your husband. Doesn't seem very healthy to me." I looked at him for a minute in something akin to astonishment before I laughed. He just watched me while I cracked up until my sides felt like they were splitting. If only he knew. I nodded finally, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"You could say that." He nodded.

"You should probably try to squash that. For the sake of your child." I glared at him. He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, a movement more graceful than the word suggests. "Just saying." I shook my head and looked down at the ground. He had no idea what was truly going on.

"Things are...complicated between us."

"Yeah. I guess it would be since he knocked up one of your guards." I smiled.

"That's most definitely one reason. Yes."

"Clearly I'm another." I felt my eyes widen and he didn't miss my reaction.

"I don't know what you mean." His eyes were cold and calculating on me.

"I told you before, little queen. I despise being treated like an idiot." I opened my mouth to deny just that but he shook his head. "Do not lie to me again."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play at being naive either. You may be a liar by profession but naive you are not." I shut my mouth and looked away. Had he remembered something? "Quite the opposite." I jumped and looked at him, breath coming a little fast. He offered me a knowing, taunting smile. Did he just- "Yes." I couldn't help the uneasiness coiling in my belly.

"In the two months since you freed me I've discovered a lot of things. The first being that almost none of the memories I have check out." I stopped breathing and he sat forward. "And just as I suspected, you don't seem surprised. So why don't you tell me why everyone I know, everyone I love, the house I had with my wife, our jobs and friends...our son. None of it exists. I can't find any trace of any of it ever having existed; No certificates, registrations, deeds, mortgage, records. Why don't you explain _that_ to me, little queen." I swallowed hard at the controlled violence I heard in his voice, the rage. In that moment I hated everything. Somehow it seemed unfair that I had to either lie my way through this or explain Zero's confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about Zero. The first time I met you was when my people found you two months back." His eyes were cold and calculating as he weighed my words.

"You are a good liar, but I'm not fooled." I swallowed hard and suddenly recognized how very nude Zero was. He hadn't bothered with clothes, a level of comfort that the old Zero had never displayed. He smiled and glanced down at the pale nakedness of himself before flicking his eyes back up to mine. I looked away. Fuck. I had forgotten that he could read my mind. When had that happened? How could he do that?

"I told you I had discovered a lot. I take it telepathy was not something native to the ' _old Zero'_." All I could do was stare at him. This would be so much easier if he remembered.

"What is it I am supposed to remember?" I swallowed again.

"What?" My voice was hoarse.

"Twice now you have mentioned me remembering something. Remember what? What did you do to me, little queen?" I hadn't actually _said_ anything. "No. you didn't. Not aloud. But that point is moot." I tried really hard not to think. "Don't bother. That shit doesn't work. No one has ever been able to just sit and _not_ think. The brain is always active, always thinking something." I gritted my teeth. "I'll ask again, what did you do to me, little queen?" I couldn't help the flare of rage that sparked through me.

"I did nothing to you." He raised an eyebrow and I thought about anything but what he was asking about. He frowned.

"How did I _really_ come to be locked in your dungeon?" If I told him would it change anything? He shifted and I knew he had heard that too. Fuck. I should leave. I needed to get away from him. He growled, low and dangerous.

"You can tell me what the fuck you did to me or I can take what I need to know from you anyway. Your choice. Though the second option isn't very pleasant." I floundered for a moment before he dipped his head to catch my eyes. "Talk to me, little queen. I deserve to know what has been done to me." When I remained quiet he sighed and I watched something close to pain flash across his eyes, a flash so quick that if I'd blinked I would have missed it. "Don't make me have to find my answers the hard way." It was my turn to sigh and I looked down at the floor, fingers nervously picking at the carpet.

"You don't know me, not anymore but I didn't do this to you. I would never do this to you."

"Who did?" I had to forcibly replace his name in my head with a pronoun so that Zero didn't find out who.

"Someone very close to me." I looked away from him and swallowed hard a few times, trying to force down the swarm of memories, me crying myself to sleep and waking with skull splitting headaches and no motivation to do much more than wait for death to come for me. Mornings of pain, a whole body ache that clung to me with the weight of my loss on it's back. It had taken me _months_ , the entire time he'd been gone from my side, to do more than just get up in the morning and do whatever I _needed_ to do. My skin had grown so raw with the need for him, burning, stretched too tight across the bones beneath and sensitive so that the lightest breeze now was almost too painful. Seeing him sit so casually in front of me set my whole body on fire and I had to dig my fingers into my palm to fight the urge to go to him, to hold him again. And yet a part of me knew that if I ever held him in my arms again I would be broken, shattered, no one would ever matter to me again. No arms would ever cradle me closer than his and no one else would ever be able to fill his place in mine either. If the day should ever come where I once again held him close I'll know. I'll know that Zero is mine. Tears burned my throat as I promised myself that until that day, until I _knew_ without a doubt that Zero was mine I would never allow myself to hold him, never quench the desire for him. One touch, one kiss or a string of secret kisses, one night would never be enough. So few touches would only incite the maddening hunger of the starving and depraved.

"I mourned the loss of you. Still do."

"I know." I whipped my head up and glared at him. He had heard all of that? Fuck! He smiled widely and still I could see the hint of something sad at the edges of those brilliant lips.

"You are thinking too fast, flitting around too much for me to get much more than a very strong emotional imprint." He gasped sharply and closed his eyes, shuddering a little on the exhale. "I drown in the bitter taste of your...anguish." He grimaced and steeled himself visibly before looking at me again. I ignored the questions in his eyes, the curiosity, averted my gaze to the floor where I steadily picked at the carpet and plowed ahead.

"In my grief I tried to kill the one who stole your memories."

"Stole my memories?" I nodded, still looking down at the carpet

"I knew when I let you go that it would only be a matter of time before you came back with questions. Questions I didn't know how to answer." I took a deep breath and forced myself to look back up at him. "The reason none of your memories check out is because they are false. He implanted them to replace any and all of your memories centered around me." I shook my head and stood in a movement abrupt enough that it startled him.

"Why would he do that?" I shook my head again and began to pace, needing something to do with the nervous energy.

"I don't know. I never thought he'd go to those lengths." I stopped and turned to look down at him. "I am so sorry this happened to you Zero." He stared at me for a long time and I stood beneath that gaze, unwilling and somewhat scared to move for fear of his reaction.

"At every turn I found a dead end. Everyone kept telling me they didn't know me or that Joy had never existed...that Tristan had never been born because my wife wasn't real. Do you know what it's like to have memories of loving someone, of holding them in your arms, of raising your son only to have everyone tell you that everything you know, everything you feel is a lie?" I was quiet as my heart broke again. "Do you?" I shook my head but he seemed to need me to say it aloud.

"No." He nodded and looked away.

"I love my family. I love them as much as I can and every time I hear that they never existed it hurts worse." He took a deep breath and stood. I swallowed hard and tears burned my eyes as I saw the pain in his. "I shouldn't be able to love someone if they never existed but I do. I need to know. I need you to tell me." Oh please, no. I can't. I couldn't do this. Please don't ask. Please don't ask me! I begged for him not to do what I thought he was about to do.

"No matter how much everyone tells me they aren't real I just can't believe that the people I love, the people they say don't exist actually don't because for me...they do." I bit back a sob as one crystalline tear broke free and trailed down that flawless, porcelain skin. His voice was husky with emotion when he spoke again.

"If you tell me for a fact that these memories really aren't real that means they are dead and I can stop searching, stop hoping, stop losing my fucking mind. I can-" He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "My heart can finally finish breaking and I can mourn them." I was crying and didn't remember having started. His whole world had been turned upside down and if I broke his heart I might be able to right it again. But oh how my own heart screamed at having to do that. He turned and looked at me full on.

"I need you to tell me. Please." The last was nearly a whisper and I had to turn away and pace furiously, trying my damnedest not to sob for him.

"Dammit!" I nearly shouted it which made him jump. I shouldn't of had to do this! Zero should never have been put through this! He didn't deserve this. He didn't fucking deserve this! I ripped my hands through my hair and stopped suddenly. I nodded. I had to. I had to try to help him heal. It was all I could do for him. I looked over at him to find him watching me with eyes already filled with the truth he'd known for a while now.

"Yes. It's true. All of your memories of me and everyone linked to me were replaced with these memories. You were in that dungeon so that I knew you were safe during the siege and I just didn't know how to deal with this whole situation. I am so, _so very_ sorry, Zero, but none of it is real." He made some small noise in the back of his throat and wrapped his arms around himself falling quiet for so long that I nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke.

"It is real to me." His voice was thick with emotion and his eyes glowed with rage. He took a step toward me and I took one back. "Give me his name." I shook my head and backed up another step.

"Zero, don't."

"No, little queen. You don't get to tell me no. Give me the name." I shook my head. "Why are you defending him? You said you tried to kill him for this so why now are you trying to save him? Give me his name." I shook my head again.

"I'm not protecting him. I'm protecting you." He still slowly came forward, stalking me, eyes glowing dangerously.

"Why?"

"Because if I tell you, you'll try to kill him." He grinned wickedly and panic flared through me. If he tried to do that, even if he succeeded, he was a dead man. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let him know.

"I _will_ take by force what you will not willingly give me." My heart raced in my chest and I made my decision. I stopped backing up and took my stand. I wouldn't give him the name no matter what he did.

"You can certainly try. Are you willing to mind rape me to get what you want so badly?" Misery, rage, disbelief and anguish swept through me as I realized I might have to physically hurt him to keep him from knowing. He cocked his head to the side and stopped, curiosity and something much darker playing through those amazing eyes.

"Who was I to you, little queen? I must have been someone of great importance."

"What makes you say that?"

"You gave me the choice to stay here or to leave, you let me hold onto you while I was in pain even when I broke your wrist. I saw the way you looked at me on that exam table and I saw it again when I woke to find you staring at me. You were so happy to see me awake again and I'd be willing to bet a favored body part that Sara so diligently mutilated that she used me to deliver her message because she knew choosing me as her victim would hit you below the belt." I swallowed hard and looked away. He chuckled and I whipped my head around as he began coming toward me again. This time he threw every ounce of sex and seduction into the roll of his body and I had to swallow for another reason entirely. My heart raced and that something deep inside of me clenched hard and fast enough to draw a gasp from me. He smiled and stopped about three feet away.

"Who was I to you, little queen?" His hand began slowly trailing down his chest and I followed it with my eyes. "Acquaintance? Ally? Friend? Family?" With every word he got closer and closer to the growing erection between his hips. "Lover...?" His hand closed over his cock with that and I turned away at both the suggestiveness of his voice and the slow stroking of his cock. He was far too clever and had one hell of an advantage at finding out just what he wanted to know, not including his incredibly unfair, albeit scrumptious, nakedness.

"When Sara had you do you remember anything about your surroundings? Did you see any faces or anything we could use to track them?" I tried to change the subject and heard his breathing stop but then he spoke.

"Who was I to you, Yuki?" I ignored the husky edge to his voice and the way my name sounded rolling from his lips by squeezing my eyes shut tight.

"Did the pain blind you? I imagine having your cock sliced into thin, bite-size strips couldn't have felt too good." He hissed and I felt his rage burn against my skin. He was stronger, magically, than I'd ever remembered him being. In fact, Zero had never been magically inclined. Other than the fact that he was, for the most part, stronger than your average aristocrat he had been as normal as possible.

"Damn you!" He roared. Not even a second later I heard the door slam and whirled to find he'd disappeared. I made my way to the bed and fell on it, my legs losing their ability to keep me standing, just as someone knocked at the door. I called for them to come in before I remembered they couldn't hear me. Before I could decide if my legs were steady enough to make it to the door or not it opened and Busa and Taki's heads popped in.

"Come in." They both were beside me before I could finish speaking. Neither of them said a word as their arms wrapped around me. Takuma sat behind me, legs on either side of me, arms around my shoulders, face buried in my neck. Busa fell to his knees and parted my legs so that he rested his ear against my stomach, wrapping his arms around my waist. I ran my fingers through Busa's typically messy hair, leaning against Takuma's warmth behind me and allowed them to simply comfort me. After a few minutes like that Busa lifted his head, my fingers still in his hair so that I could see those true blue eyes gleaming with tears of awe and pure bliss, there wasn't really a word for the unbelievable joy in his eyes. It had been beautiful when I'd seen him look at Ruka like that not too long ago. Seeing all that directed at me was simply breathtaking.

"You look so...happy."

"Two babies from my two favorite women in the world? Why shouldn't I be happy?" He nuzzled his cheek against my stomach and I laughed, a sound abruptly cut off as pure terror swept through me. They both began rubbing my skin where they could find it in comforting patterns.

"What am I doing?" Busa looked back up at me and smiled.

"You're having a baby. It is a miracle, my queen. A beautiful little miracle and we have two of them to celebrate." He leaned back in and placed a kiss on my stomach where he had lifted my tank top to get closer to my skin. "Everything else is something to be worked through but _this? This_ is something to be cherished." I chuckled and relaxed back into Takuma's arms while Busa nuzzled my stomach and mumbled to it in a language I didn't know. Why was it that every vampire I knew could speak another mystery language? I let them hold me, to comfort me and listening to Busa's happy baby talk and coos for a moment, just one tiny second, I forgot all the reasons why I should fear the thing inside of me and allowed myself to smile at the simplistic beauty of it all.

 **Ruka's POV**

 **Eight Days and Much Stress Later**

I stood in my usual spot in front of the window. I had taken to staying out of sight as much as possible this past week. No one was really talking to me, none of the guards at least, but everyone was really cautious not to give me "too much" to do. I was still technically on the guard roster but I was no longer standing at Yuki's side, I no longer guarded her...like, ever. I had been replaced by Rima, who I happened to know was much happier since she was now closer to Senri than she'd been in months. Curiously enough, and much to Rima's frustration, Senri and Takuma were paired together as Yuki's guards more often than not. Hanabusa had been requested by Kaname to help him attend to business off campus the last six days or so and as a direct result Rima found herself the odd-man-out on guard buddying with Senri. I was on _light_ duty, a.k.a. the bullshit tasks like running errands and being everyone's messenger. I had never been so damned bored and frustrated in my life. The only job I had was to be everyone else' lackey and whenever I came around for shit just like that everyone conveniently had no use for a poor, pregnant errand girl. I heaved a giant sigh and placed my hand over my belly which was beginning to stretch just the tiniest bit, the slightest of curves to what had been once completely flat, with the first signs of the life growing inside of me.

I had seen Ganash, the doctor Kaname had specifically recruited for Yuki and I during our pregnancies, only an hour before. Yuki had been there because the doctor had to see us both today before he rushed off to take care of an emergency pregnancy something or another. We'd chatted and Yuki, as always, made me smile when I was enjoying trying to brood. That woman was like bottled sunshine, lighting up the room in such a way that you either cringed and squinted through her glare or basked in her warmth. Either way, you couldn't help but to notice her. I often found myself wondering how anyone could smile with so much on their shoulders but Yuki almost always found a way. I didn't think I'd ever be able to forget how she had walked around like a corpse for nearly a month and a half after both Kaname and Zero left her.

Kaname. My heart constricted at the same time that my breath hitched. I wondered if I would ever not react to him like this. I almost couldn't remember a time when my heart didn't race at the thought of that man, or my skin didn't itch for his touch. I'd never actually expected to have anything more of him than what he'd always given me: friendship and blood. My heart was thumping around in my chest erratically and my breath grew short and ragged. I frowned. I had time to think that I never had such an intense reaction to so chaste a line of thought before I was swept back in a wash of memories.

 _My body burned like acid ran just beneath the surface and only where his skin touched mine knew temporary relief. I saw intimate flashes of my body twined around his, riding him into the ground, his fangs in my neck, a throaty scream of release, his body pounding relentlessly into mine. Our skin, slick with sweat, blood and our sex slid against each other. We were a mess of tangled limbs and panting chaos as he pounded me into the floor, fucked me against a slightly rounded wall, bent me over a short table. I knew vaguely that the poor table in question had broken under our most primal of passions. I saw a flurry of positions, felt his skin beneath my nails, tasted his blood and sweat on my tongue, smelled our sex on our skin, heard the ministrations of our passion. The rush of imagery slowed on one moment in particular. Kaname was underneath me, his spine bowed, head thrown back, his hair, wet from our exertions, was splayed around him. His fingers dug into my hips as I leaned my weight on his thighs and rode him for everything I was worth. His scream echoed through me, around me, vibrated me to the core of my being, shattering my world around me in a golden explosion. I screamed with him and jerked his body against mine, sinking my fangs into his chest since his spine still bowed away. He screamed again and his whole body jerked against me as he wrapped his hand in my hair and held me closer to him._

 _I sat up with a screaming inhale, soaked through with sweat, my whole body one solid, pulsing ache. It was just a dream. Just a dream. I tried to convince myself that it was just a dream but my body knew differently and I could swear I smelled him. I flopped back on my bed and flung the sheet off me, hissing as the cool air touched my skin, tightening it and hardening my nipples. I moaned and squeezed my thighs tight together in a vain attempt to quench the scorching desire at my core for what I couldn't have. I could feel his hands on my body, feel him thrusting into me, smell him on my skin as if it were all more than a memory. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and curled into a ball, hugging my knees to my chest._ He's not that far away you know. You could just go to him. _No. I couldn't. He told Yuki that we wouldn't do that anymore and I had to respect that no matter what his decision did to me._ You haven't touched him in months. Come on. Go to him. Touch him. Fuck him. _No! I yelled in my head. I had tried so hard these past months to keep my distance from him and even though not being able to touch him killed a small piece of me everyday I couldn't bring myself to ask to be reassigned. It hurt too much. I had to see him. I had to at least have that, it was the only thing keeping me alive, my only source of sustenance._ It wouldn't hurt so much if you'd just go to him. Do it. He won't deny you. He'll never deny you again, even if he wants to.

" _NO!" I shouted, grinding my hands against my ears as if that would help. How do you hide from something that lives within your own brain? I rocked in that little ball as that voice taunted me with tantalizing solicitations. I wanted to listen to it so badly. I hurt, my body ached, my skin burned, my blood boiled and every breath felt harder to pull in than the last._

" _Ruka?" His voice cut through everything, silencing that voice in my head more efficiently than anything I could have done. My eyes flared open. I had been concentrating so hard on not falling apart that I hadn't heard or smelled him come in, nor had I felt the bed shift under his weight. When I saw his hand hovering only inches above me I panicked. The world seemed to slow and I stopped breathing as his hand slid oh so softly along my jawline in a gentle caress that forced a shiver down my spine. I shoved back the very R-rated thoughts battling for dominance and moved from under his touch as the panic flooded back through me._

 _I moved too fast, overcompensating the distance and crashing into the wall with enough force to crack it slightly. I slid to the floor and stared at Kaname as my body screamed out in need for him. He stared at me with wide eyes from where I'd left him, hand extended as if still touching me. His lips were parted and I could hear his heart racing, smell his desire, almost taste the sweat that gleamed on his skin. I moaned and slammed my head back into the wall. I wanted to throw myself at him, to tear at his clothes until the alabaster beauty of all that skin was bared for my mouth and hands to feed at. I wanted it so bad that I could almost feel his flesh beneath my nails. I swallowed convulsively as I tried to reign myself in unsuccessfully and slammed my head back into the wall again. I tried half a dozen times before I could finally speak._

" _Leave." It came out as a harsh whisper._

" _Ruka-"_

" _Leave." I wanted to scream at him to get the fuck out because I wanted him so bad that what should have been a WANT raged within me like a NEED, a need that if denied might just burn me alive._

" _I can't. I tried not to come here, to you. I tried. You have to believe that I did try. I tried so hard but then I heard you and-"_

" _Leave." My voice was only marginally stronger than when I first spoke and I found it was easier to focus if I couldn't see him. I counted my breaths and forced myself to ignore the sweet smell of him invading me with each pull. "Leave." My voice was steadier, one point in my favor._

" _I can't. I'm so sorry but I can't. I need you. I need to be near you. And I know you need me too." His voice came from right in front of me and my eyes flared open wide. No. He needed to leave because I couldn't. No matter how loudly I screamed at my body to get up and run away as fast as it could it rebelled against me, roaring its sexual frustration over every piece of common sense I could muster at the moment, which wasn't much with him so close._

" _Ruka..." My name rolled out of his mouth like liquid sex and I had to remind myself to breathe._

 _I shook my head but didn't have the strength to fend him off when those large, graceful hands curled around the outside of my thigh. His hands curved lightly over my skin, trailing goosebumps behind them, as his fingers played across the soft flesh of my inner thighs, parting them with the gentlest of touches in a way that no amount of force ever could. He knelt between my thighs and in the glow cast by those swirling eyes I saw that his fangs had grown out nearly an inch._

 _The thought of him sinking into me, sinking everything into me at once, drew a small, guttural sound from deep within me. He leaned over me and I watched him come for me like a cornered mouse watches the snake and knows it cannot escape. I could escape, the problem was that I didn't want to. I REALLY didn't want to._

 _His hair fell around his face, framing all that beauty. His sex filled the air, gleamed on his skin already, shone in those eyes that were all for me. Oh yeah, I wanted what he offered. All I had to do was take it. He chuckled softly before his hand glided across my jawline again until his fingers slid into my hair as he leaned into me until I was staring into his eyes from inches away. Our erratic breath mingled, chests rising and falling heavily enough to brush with each inhale. His eyes showed what he wanted to do to me, what I wanted him to do to me. He knew I wanted the same thing as he did but under all that lust I found one cold spot of uncertainty, of question, the last spark of his fight against this magic that consumed us both. His hand tightened suddenly in my hair forcing a gasp from me. He made some small noise and I felt his fangs drag up my throat. I found my hands clutching at him without my consent._

" _I want to give in." I knew exactly what he meant without knowing a damned thing at all. Did he want me to force him to give in? Did he want a reason to be able to say later, 'Oopsie! That wasn't supposed to happen!'? To give him someone else to blame for this? Hell no! I forced back against all that sex and it took everything I had not to buckle beneath the tide but I was doing it. I had to start somewhere._

" _Please...go...I can't. You need to leave." The last sounded too close to a sob for comfort._

" _I'm not sure there is any way back from this point, Ruka. It is too late." His voice was a deep, sultry vibration, electrifying me where his lips brushed against the tender flesh of my neck. I swallowed hard past a lump of anticipation because the largest part of me recognized the truth of what he'd just said and had already surrendered. The other half was screaming with everything it had as it slowly drowned in desire. If I couldn't find a way out of this and soon I was going to lose and I'd do it voluntarily. I closed my eyes and fought for control._

 _I had everything I wanted right in front of me practically begging me to fuck him and I was shoving it away, or trying to. It was too much for my body and mind, which were currently in agreement, to cope with. I had to force my body to stay where it was and it took every bit of concentration I had, so much so that I didn't sense him moving at all. His finger tips brushed across my cheek and I noticed a fraction of a second before the sensation shot through my body like a bolt of lightning that my cheek was slick with tears I hadn't known I'd been crying. I scrambled away from him as fast as I could, in a last ditch effort to save myself from falling into him, and just moving away from him felt like fighting gravity when you're falling without a parachute. I groaned, shoving down the scream of denial trying to pour out, and shook my head. A few strands of my hair dangled from his fingers, torn violently from where he'd gripped my hair._

" _If I let you touch me, If I touch you, we might never stop." My words were low and throaty and I saw a slight shudder go down his spine. His eyes gleamed with his desire and he licked his lips twice, swallowing several times before he spoke._

" _I would rather go up in one glorious blaze than burn slowly for all eternity." His voice was thick and rough with his lust. My body reacted to that so harshly that my spine bowed slightly, as if what he'd just said were what I'd been waiting to hear, and maybe it was. In that moment I didn't care. I NEEDED him!_ You can have him. Just take him already!

" _GO!" I screamed with the only gasp of air I could muster. My whole body vibrated with the aftershocks of feeling his flesh against mine, the ghost-like sensation of his fingers along my cheek haunting me. "Go. Go. Go. Go, go, go go gogogogogo..." I muttered that one word under my breath like a mantra, shoving my face into the wall._

 _Something like a groan of agony sounded from him and it felt as if someone had kicked me in the chest. I whipped my head around to look at him while trying to cuddle the corner. He was on his knees, shoulders rounded, arms wrapped tight around his stomach while he bent at the waist, head almost touching his knees._

" _I can't. I can't. I can't. Shut up! SHUT UP!" He yelled the last before turning his head enough to roll his eyes up and look at me from under those unbelievably thick lashes. Two tears, squeezed out under the pressure of crushing desire, trailed slowly from eyes too wide as his misery leaked in crystalline tracks down the perfect lines of his face. "I can't get him to shut up. He won't shut up, Ruka. I want to listen. I want to touch you so bad that the thought of not touching you..." I could see the madness of the hunger closing in on the remnants of the sanity we both clung to in those eyes and wondered if my eyes looked the same. He closed his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. I knew exactly what he was talking about because I had one of those as well, the voice that kept urging me to feed, to fuck him. "I know we shouldn't but..." He shook his head, all that long hair falling around his face as he crunched back into the ball he'd been in with a small pain noise. He kept shaking his head. He began rocking back and forth as he shook his head._

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He just kept repeating that for a few minutes that I spent trying to force my body to obey me once again, but those words weren't for me. I knew without knowing that he wasn't apologizing to me._

 _He couldn't leave so I had to. I just had to. I couldn't stand to see him in pain and I needed to be as far from him as I could manage right now. He moaned and apparently that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Suddenly my muscles all contracted in one giant cramp, skin burning, tightening like a vice around the insides it held in as if I were literally burning alive. My body seized and I cried out as I had a full body charlie-horse. I slammed into the floor and the rest of my air left me on a small scream. I was burning, dying. The fire stole all the oxygen, leaving me gasping for air._

 _His arms were suddenly around me and I could breathe again. I took a screaming inhale followed by a short scream of pain. I had some use of my body back but that was only because I was crawling into his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, burying my face into his neck. I touched as much of him to as much of me as I could and it still wasn't enough. He hugged me tight and I felt his whole body trembling against me. I was suddenly reminded what had been scorching me as my whole body fought to give in to the desire I had fended off for what felt like an eternity. I threw my head back as the sensory overload of being so close to him after so long rocked my world off its axis, or back on depending on how you looked at it._ Do it. Take him. End this. You know this is the only way. Do it. Take him. _My body reacted on it's own, rolling in a sinuous wave against his._

" _Ruka!..." Kaname cried my name on a throaty moan, hands kneading at my waist that was now bare beneath his his touch, the nightgown having been shoved up._

 _A high pitched keen crawled out of my throat, a sound of defeat, as the rational part of me was forced to it's knees and the desire won. I plunged my hand into his hair drawing a moan from him and drowned myself in Kaname's kiss. Even as I kissed him I logically knew in the back of my mind that this was wrong and yet logic had no place here where primal instinct reigned. There was no way, nowhere, to run from the wild hunger raging within me._ Don't blame it on the magic, baby. You wanted this, you've always wanted this. Him. The magic is just your stalking horse. _I would have loved to argue with that voice and claim innocence, but I couldn't. I did want him, always, and the fact that this was wrong and that it was all because of a spell didn't matter. In that moment, he was mine and I knew that only I could give him this. Only I could slake this hunger and no one else. That was the last lucid thought I had before reality narrowed down to his body against mine and I gave myself over to him._

 _His lips were silken against mine, feeding at my mouth as if he were drinking me down. I moaned into his kiss as his hands ripped my nightgown away, jerking my body around until I moved against him in just my thin slip of panties. I broke the kiss, sucking in a harsh breath of air and his mouth found my breast. I moaned for him and-_

A knock at the door ripped me out of the memory so harshly that my whole body jerked with it. I looked around me, breathing hard as I realized I must have fallen at some point because I was staring up at the window I'd been looking out of. What the fuck was that?

The knock came again and I hauled myself to my feet, promptly staggering into the wall and sliding back to my knees. Damn! My legs were gelatinous pools. I groaned and took several deep breaths as I carefully got back to my feet and slowly made my way to the door, using the wall to support me as I did. I finally got there and took another deep breath before I opened it. I jerked back in surprise as I saw Kaname on the other side as if my reverie had somehow summoned him. He offered me a bashful smile and revealed a bouquet of vibrant red roses. His smile froze for a second while he scented the air and I watched his eyes widen slightly before he looked down at the flowers and cleared his throat.

"It has occurred to me that I have been incredibly negligent towards you and I felt terrible when I realized that I haven't really even seen you in what feels like forever." He rotated the bouquet nervously between his fingers and shifted his weight. "I saw these while I was wandering the campus and thought of you." He held them out to me and I gingerly took them, making sure not to touch any skin.

"They are lovely. Thank you." He shifted his weight again.

"Nora provided the ribbon." Nora was one of the newer guards on his detail and prone to wearing her hair tied back in braids laced through with a ribbon like a shot of color through the shock white of long hair. I couldn't help but smile at his shy schoolboy actions. It was just too cute.

"I'll be sure to thank her when I see her." He glanced up at me before looking away down the hallway then back after a moment.

"May I come in? I would like to talk." I stared at him until he finally looked at me. His eyes swirled with about a thousand varying emotions and thoughts but under it all was an odd glint of insecurity that I had never seen before. I wondered what had tainted him so as I opened the door wider, a silent invitation for him to enter. He slipped past me without a sound. I turned to watch him as I gently shut the door behind him and leaned against it. He stopped in the middle of the room and I watched the quick rise and fall of his shoulders. He shook his head before letting it hang loose between his shoulders and put his hands on his hips. He was so quiet for a couple of minutes that I was sure he could hear the too fast thump of my heart, drawing my breath short and quick. He laughed, quietly, hesitantly at first, growing into a loud bray of true laughter, the kind that doubles you over and leaves you breathless.

"What is so funny?" The happy sound of his laughter died so suddenly it was as if it had never been. He turned to face me, head still low enough that his face was hidden from me. He shook his head and finally lifted it, showing his eyes to be a swirling storm of liquid honey brown and fire-red, not the typical scarlet red of fresh blood that our eyes normally turn when we go all vampy. No. This fire red, a red with hints of gold and highlights of a ghostly blue, was all for me. I knew my eyes too could glow like his but it was only for him and no one else. Seeing his eyes like that forced my heart into overdrive, my breathing sped even quicker, something clenched hard and fast deep within my body. His eyes slid shut and he took a deep breath in, head going back.

"Oh god..." He breathed on an exhale. I swallowed hard and he showed me those gorgeous eyes of his once again. "I keep wondering when I will stop feeling this way about you, when just the residual smell of you in a room will stop moving me." He licked his lips and looked out the window I had been staring out of before my little reverie. "It's never going to go away is it?" My heart and chest constricted sharply and I fought to keep my face blank as he looked at me once again.

I had always known that Kaname would never love me the way I loved him and honestly I had never expected to have any part of him. Not his body, not his heart but especially not his child. Yet here we were. I always thought that any child born by me would have come from a union of love. I truly loved him, had for so long I couldn't even remember not loving him. I chuckled sadly to myself. The child that grew within me was a product of magic, not love and I'd always know that. But was my love such a terrible thing? Was I simply unlovable? What was it that turned him away from me? Tears stung my eyes but I blinked fast and turned away, walking to the other window on the opposite side of the room from him. I took several shuddering breaths and suddenly the deep well of sadness that had consumed me only a moment before roared over me in a vicious, scorching wave of rage.

"I know you do not love me. No matter how much I love you, you will never love me the same. I know you are aware of my feelings for you. It is impossible that you don't know-"

"Ruka-" I shook my head and continued, staring at the darkest point I could find on the tree line while I spoke.

"You don't need to deny that you don't love me Kaname. It would be a lie to say otherwise. Our relations were of necessity to both of us, nothing more. We both know this-"

"Ruka-"

"God dammit, Kaname! Shut up and let me finish!" I had whirled to face him without remembering because I could see the quiet anger in the thin press of his lips. I was breathing hard and my face was flushed with my own anger. "I _know_ you don't love me, but that doesn't mean that our child has to know. I don't want you to pretend to love me, I couldn't bear it, but for the sake of our child I want us to make a pact right now. Swear to me that you will love this child as you would if it were Yuki's." He shifted his weight and stared at me for a long while, a time long enough that I thrill of fear and chill of insecurity washed over me. His eyes were locked on my face as if he would memorize every detail and I watched the thoughts flicker through his eyes faster than I could comprehend them.

"I can't promise you that." My heart sunk so fast that I had to lean back against the wall to steady me. I looked down at the floor to hide the tears shining in my eyes. I hadn't expected that he would deny me this, not this, and the misery that choked me at the back of my throat was trying to pour out of my mouth. I swallowed down the bitterness of his rejection and it hurt.

"I cannot promise you that because you are not Yuki." And just like that I was pissed again.

"You don't think I know that?! You think I don't fucking know that, Kaname?! I'll never be good enough for you! I'll never be Yuki! Good enough to fuck and feed from but not to love, right? I'm not good enough for you to be a father to _our child_!? Am I that unbearable? That unlovable?" I sucked in a sharp breath, a soft sob choking in at the end, and whirled from him as the first tears slipped down my cheeks. I quietly cried and just prayed that he ignored my tears. I tried to stop crying but my heart hurt so bad that my chest ached. This must be what a heart attack felt like.

"My relationship with you is not like the one I have with my wife."

"Titles are a bit unnecessary. I understand now. I am nothing more than your mistress carrying your illegitimate child. A biological itch for you to periodically scratch. You have made your point." There was no emotion in my words, they were squeezed down with a cold rage.

"She is my wife and the one I was supposed to be with. I love her. I do." I fought through the pressure building in my chest.

"Then go to the woman you're _supposed_ to be with."

"I can't."

"Yeah, because she won't have your sorry ass. Smart woman. Maybe I should follow her lead." His own anger flared at that remark.

"I _can't._ I can't _just_ go to her and you know why." I scoffed and angrily swiped the tears off my face as I turned to look at him.

"Yeah? I guess I do don't I. The child swelling in my belly, that you want nothing to do with, is a reminder of exactly _how_ you need me. Like I said. Only good for a fuck." If I had punched him in the face he couldn't have looked more surprised. His eyes were wide, lips parted slightly.

"Whatever gave you the impression that I won't be a father to this child?"

"You already said that you won't be a father to my child like you will to Yuki's. What else is there that needs to be said?" He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again and clamped it shut tight in a furious slash across his lower face. His eyes simmered with rage and he stared at me in silence for a few moments. I was pissed beyond belief, burning hot with a rage the likes of which I had never felt. I was almost daring him to say something to further piss me off.

"You make a lot of unfounded accusations."

"Do I? Speak plainly, Kaname. If you have something to say then fucking say it." I actually heard his teeth grind together and he took a slow couple of breaths in a blatant effort to calm himself.

"I never said I wouldn't try to be a father to the child, only that I could not possibly love it like I will with mine and Yuki's child." I fought to not scream at him that he'd have to be daft to believe that the child within Yuki was his. As pissed as I was I don't think I would ever be ready for his reception of that little piece of news, though I couldn't fathom how it was even remotely possible that he had deluded himself into believing that was his baby. I let him hold onto his delusion for a bit longer.

"I _need_ you in ways that I do not need Yuki and she gives me things you do not." I made a sound of disgust deep in my throat and sneered at him.

"So what? You want to have your cake and eat it too? It doesn't fucking work like that buddy!" He threw his hands up in the air before running his fingers through his hair in a stretch of muscles that showed off beautifully the mind-numbing potential of the body beneath those clothes. He sighed and shook his head, his hair falling back around his face as if it were meant to be there. It pissed me off that he could effect me like this, that I couldn't hate him as much as I wanted to. I still wanted him even if at the moment I hated him as much as I could.

"That's not what I meant. I'm not saying this right." I laughed bitterly.

"No. If you are trying to defend yourself in some manner you are certainly doing a terrible job of it. I don't know what you think you came here for but whatever it was I don't really care. Just get out." I was tired suddenly and my body ached from all the mood swings and I just needed to lay down but I needed to be away from him more than I needed to rest.

"Ruka-"

"What did you come here for, Kaname? Why would you do this to either of us?" He knew why I tried to stay away from him. Whenever I was around him for any period of time I had an almost uncontrollable urge to touch him. We both felt it, I had seen him fight off similar urges so I knew he fought his desire the same as me whenever we were near each other. I hadn't seen him since Yuki sent him away months ago, months that felt like fucking years! My body craved his. The cravings were always worst right after we both fell victim to our lusts and after too much time away from one another. It was particularly painful when we hadn't seen each other for months, or rather not touched in months, and then we slake our hungers. Instead of throwing water to dampen the flames it was more like throwing an oxygen can in to feed them. It was maddening. If he touched me we might just fall on each other, all other emotions and arguments aside. Why would he risk it. He wasn't answering fast enough for me so I asked him aloud.

"Why the fuck would you risk it, Kaname?" His eyes rolled up to mine and I could see lust and agony swirling in those mesmerizing eyes in equal parts. I swallowed hard and fought not to walk over there and take away all his pain, if only for a minute. I wanted to. I really fucking wanted to. I took a step back and ground my nails into my palm, allowing a familiar wash of anger and fresh pain to help me fend off my weaker compulsions.

"No. You don't get to look at me like that anymore."

"I can see an answering torment in your eyes. I can smell you." His eyes slid closed and he took a deep breath and it felt like his nose ran along my neck, forcing me to shiver, goosebumps exploding all over.

"Stop that!" I hissed. He looked half-drugged when he opened his eyes to look at me.

"I could smell you the moment you opened the door and I couldn't help but wonder what titillating thoughts my scintillating, salacious lover might have been thinking before I interrupted." I swallowed hard. "What _were_ you thinking, lover?" I shook my head and forced myself to look anywhere but at him. My heart was racing for him once again, body moistening and skin warming with the echo of the memories that had swept me away before he had come. He made some small, deep noise of appreciation in the back of his throat and I ground my nails into my palm until I could smell my blood on the air. He hissed under his breath quietly but not quietly enough. I heard his heart and breathing speed up. I shook my head and turned a glare on him.

"Get out. You don't get to do this anymore. You don't get to come in here and toy with me, seduce me." He smiled softly and I didn't like the light that filled his eyes. It was too sure, too steady for my comfort and it pissed me off. I took a step toward him, my anger giving me strength. His smile widened slightly.

"I don't need to seduce you, that has already been think you are strong enough to deny me forever? We have tried and failed every time. We'll never be free of each other." There was no arrogance in the words themselves but it was there in his face. I growled at him and let him see how truly pissed I was.

"Whatever there was between us is gone, Kaname."

"It will always be this way between us. We will always burn for one another, you know that even if you don't want it to be true."

"Then I guess our world will end in fire rather than ice now won't it?" He nodded and I smiled evilly. "It'll burn even worse now than it did before because your flame will never be quenched by mine again." He looked taken aback for a moment before he smiled, a bit unsure around the edges.

"What you are proposing is impossible. You couldn't possibly-"

"Couldn't I?" He looked angry, then confused and then a combination of hunger and panic showed in his eyes.

"Ruka, I-...We, I, need you. It hurts too much without you."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU FUCKED TSUKIKO THEN, SHOULDN'T YOU?!" It exploded out of me so fast that I got a sudden case of the spins and fell back into the wall, having to steady myself with a grip on the windowsill. He looked worried for a brief second, extending his hand as if he might have come to help me if I hadn't shot him a death glare. His hand dropped back to his side and he looked lost and contemplative.

"Thinking up an excuse, Kaname? Another lie to attempt to explain away what you did? I'm curious, just what _was_ the purpose of fucking my cousin?" He opened and closed his mouth several times as if building up the courage to speak the words hidden behind those eyes of his. Finally he just snapped his mouth shut and glared at me. I cocked my head at him and raised an eyebrow, a silent indication that I was waiting. He took a step toward me and I pointed to the door without looking at him.

"Just get out."

"You-"

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. I can't stand to see you right now." I was shaking with my rage, the heat of it scalding up my throat with every clipped word I spoke.

"How dare you presume-" With every word he took a step closer to me so that he was almost half-way to me now, "to judge me without hearing what I have to say." He was at the foot of the bed now with maybe fifteen feet between us and I could feel his rage preceding him in a tangible cloud of electricity crackling along my skin.

"How dare I? How dare you, you pompous, misogynistic prick!" He opened his mouth to say something and the rage flared through his eyes as he took a step toward me. Suddenly I was blinking in shock as I stared at the long, unbound strawberry blonde of headmaster Cross' hair that had appeared in front of me.

"I believe you heard the lady tell you to leave." His voice was smooth and even, calm. Kaname did something I had never seen him do, he moved at the other man so fast that he was staring at Headmaster cross from less than six inches away. He was breathing heavily and his rage crackled so viciously through the air that it actually hurt as it whipped along my skin. Kaname was pissed, so much so that he was about to try to instigate a fight with the vampire without fangs. I knew from experience just how ferocious Kaien Cross was in combat, but I also knew the capabilities of Kaname and didn't wish to see a fight between the two men.

"Back away Kaname." His voice was still smooth as silk but just underneath was a hard edge. Kaname snarled at him, a baring of teeth that exposed his elongating fangs and his magic flared with his rage. I hissed and rubbed my hands up and down my arms where his energy stung my skin as if being pelted by sand in a high speed storm. Kaien fell back slightly into a defensive stance a second before I smelled the first hint of blood.

"This is not your concern, Kaien. Move aside."

"You are not yourself right now, Lord Kaname. I do not trust that if I let you pass you will not do something that will make me regret my decision."

"Move."

"State your intentions and I may just step aside if they are honorable."

"Are you implying I have no honor?" Kaname's voice was low and dangerous, spoiling for a fight. I'd never seen him like this before and I was suddenly very scared for Kaien. This was so bad.

"No such words have ever crossed my lips. We have been friends for a long time now you and I, Kaname. I would not lightly throw that away."

"Then step aside."

"I will not. You are beside yourself with unwarranted rage and no matter what is between us I will not idly stand by whilst you harm a blooming mother." Kaname looked stricken for a moment.

"I would not harm her."

"That is not what your countenance implies, friend." Kaname cocked his head to the side and stared at Kaien curiously.

"You have already abandoned your oath once. You would do it again under such petty circumstances?" Kaien did not hesitate or spare any explanation but whatever Kaname saw on the other man's face made his eyes widen.

"As long as I am around, Kaname you will never approach this woman again as you have today. It is one of our greatest offenses to harm a blooming mother, a law you put into effect yourself. I will uphold that law even if you will not."

"You quote my own laws at me?" I watched Kaien's head bob slightly.

"I do. But for just a moment fuck the law." My jaw damn near hit the floor. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd ever heard Kaien curse and still have four fingers left, including the last thirty seconds. Apparently Kaname had never heard the other man curse either because he looked even more shocked than me, if possible. "Have you no personal honor? Where is your dignity? Coming into the room of a blooming mother and behaving like this." I could hear the scorn in Kaien's voice and for a few moments I got to see shame and sadness chase across Kaname's face, something else I had seen only a handful of times before. Kaname finally nodded just once.

"I will leave." His eyes flicked up to me. "I apologize, Ruka. I never intended to harm or stress you in any way. I just came to check in on you but nothing ever seems to go the way I want it to with you." He was frowning as if he were greatly perturbed as to why that was and mumbled something under his breath like "Either of you." If he was expecting a response from me in return he did not get one. He simply sighed deeply and nodded his head sadly as he turned to leave. Kaien maintained his stance until the door closed softly behind Kaname. Only then did he right himself and I watched a tension I hadn't known was there lift from his shoulders. He turned to face me, offering me a dazzling smile. I blinked in wonder at him for a moment. I took a few moments to take him in. I had never really seen Kaien with his hair dancing so freely about his shoulders and face.

It had been a sort of bet between Hanabusa and I as to what Kaien's hair-color really was. Busa said ash-blonde, I said strawberry-blonde. To try to settle the vote we'd taken a poll among the other guards but had come out with a nearly even vote that just seemed to keep balancing evenly back and forth between one side and the other per every person we asked. There was a small cut above his left brow that trailed blood along the edge of his eye, the result of Kaname's power leakage all over us.

I'd asked Kaien once what color he thought his eyes were. He'd said hazel. I'd conceded to that color at the time but now I would have to be blind to not see the beauty I had missed before. How had I missed how pretty his eyes were? If hazel was a rich red brown with gold highlights around the pupil then yes, his eyes were hazel. He was strikingly beautiful with his hair down like that, framing the nearly feminine lines of his face. I wasn't quite sure how or what it was that saved his face from being too effeminate, a curve in the jawline, a strong line in the structure of his nose or the slope of the forehead. Even his lips were full and curvacious like a woman's pout. I was never quite sure what it was that saved that last bit of masculinity but I had never not seen him as male and yet he was...beautiful. Not handsome. Beautiful. Almost too beautiful with that long gorgeous hair flowing freely around that perfectly structured face. I made some soft noise that sounded like a sigh before I shook it off. I had no idea what the fuck was wrong with me lately.

"Maybe you should be more cautious as to who you pick fights with, Ruka. Had I not come when I did you might have instigated something very unfortunate." There was an edge of angry confusion to his voice that I ignored as I walked towards him like I didn't hear his words. I did but I didn't have a response for him at the moment. I was emotionally exhausted and couldn't imagine looking into any of the last fifteen minutes at the moment. I didn't want to talk about any of it. I wanted...what did I want?

"Are you okay, my dear?"

"I-..." I couldn't finish the sentence because I didn't know what I had been about to say. His eyes widened a little as I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I snuggled my head against his chest for a moment, allowing my eyes to slide shut and just breathe in the comforting smell of him. His hair tickled against the top of my head and I moved my body back just enough to reach up and twirl a lock of his hair between my fingers. It was so soft, soft as only fine, thick and silky straight hair can be. He raised his hand and wrapped those long fingers delicately around mine, eyes flicking down at our hands before coming back up to mine.

"You are bleeding." I glanced down to see four thin rivulets of blood trailing down my hand to merge into a thicker stream over my wrist before looking back up at the small cut on his forehead as if to say, _"_ _So are you. What about it?"._ For whatever reason I found myself saying something completely different.

"Yeah. I guess I am."

"Let me help you clean this up." I simply stared blankly up at him until he used his gentle hold on my hand to guide me into the bathroom. I watched him as he moved about, grabbing a wash rag. I felt the warmth of the water running over my hand and the sting of his most cautious cleaning of my wounds, but the smooth, confidant dance of his fingers against my skin was distracting, a display of both gentleness and experience. I watched his eyes move and his hair sway with every small motion as he tended to me.

"There. All better." He finally said as he pulled away. I didn't even glance down at my hand, I just really wanted to touch his hair again. I suddenly needed to touch more of it. I could feel him watching me as I lifted my newly band-aided hand up and slid my fingers along his scalp, running them through the length of his hair. I needed to smell him and I suddenly felt cold. I pressed my body against his to get in closer and smell him. I felt the hard line of his body like a wall of heat and life against mine. I stood on tip toe, wrapping my arms lightly around his slender waist for balance, and nosed my way under his hair until I could run my nose up the side of his neck and breathe deeply. He smelled so good! I felt a small ripple of a shiver go down his spine where my hands rested at his lower back. Suddenly he had me in his arms, off the ground in a movement too quick for me to process. He offered me a gentle smile that left me smiling all dopey-like back at him. I felt drugged, intoxicated. I didn't notice where he was taking me until I felt the soft pressure of the bed. His arms were sliding out from under me when panic surged.

"Will you stay with me?" He offered me a sweet smile and lay down in front of me, facing and slightly lower down the bed than me.

He lay calmly next to me and blinked patiently, watching and waiting, as if he was expecting something. He watched me sidle closer to him until I was too close for him to see and he didn't move. I already had my hand in his hair, fingers sliding along his scalp and it were as if I wasn't controlling my own actions anymore. I pressed my nose into the soft warmth of his hair and breathed in the smell of him. He smelled like that moment of silence after a snowstorm where the world seems still, clear, crisp and fresh, the wintry calm with which he handled any situation under duress. The contrast between the chill of his scent and the warmth of him against me seemed to resonate with something deep inside of me and I wondered for a moment how I had never really noticed him until tonight. I mean, I had noticed him as in knew he existed, but I had never _really_ noticed him. I opened my eyes and realized I had moved close enough to him that I could feel the warm gusts of his breath across my breasts. My skin flushed red hot and I moved away from him, embarrassment finally forcing some sanity back into me. He was watching me with those calm, patient eyes, completely at ease.

"It is okay Ruka. You can touch me. It is natural and nothing to be ashamed of." I stared at him for a moment.

"Natural?...How? I feel...I'm not sure I...I don't..."

"You are emotionally unstable right now because of one of the first rushes of pregnancy hormones." He smiled softly at me and I reached out without thinking about it to pick a lock of hair off of his cheek and twirl it between my fingers.

I realized I had touched him again without asking and went to pull away. His hand was suddenly gently cradling my hand in his. He guided my hand back into all that amazing hair, letting go and laying there contentedly while I debated on whether or not to be weirded out by this whole thing. He never once moved while I made my decision, his face passive as if to imply that whether I took him up on his offer or not was solely up to me, either decision wouldn't bother him. Before I could fully think it through I found my fingers running through his hair without any conscious effort on my part. I closed my eyes and let the world narrow down to the feeling of his hair along my skin. I felt his arm slip around me and wondered when I had gotten close enough to press against him in a cozy line of warmth, close enough to feel his breath against my chest, to feel my own breath come back to me carrying the scent of his hair. I vaguely remember sighing softly and snuggling closer to him. He tightened his arms around my back, holding me tightly in a way I hadn't ever known I enjoyed, and suddenly all the tension, every worry I'd had, fled at the absolute comfort I found in his arms. I lay there breathing him in and listening to the music of our two hearts and the hummingbird buzz of my baby's. I mumbled something before the dark weight of sleep washed me away with the cool, crisp scent of the world after the winter's first snow-storm.

 **Takuma's POV**

I paced around the circular fountain, chewing my bottom lip, eyes scanning my surroundings wildly. I couldn't keep doing this. Why? Why did I always do this? That thought stopped me. I don't think I'd ever questioned why. I just did. It felt wrong to question any of it and yet it was even more peculiar that I had never, before now, had occasion to simply wonder why.

"What is it that fills those lovely eyes with such angst my kirei?" I whipped my head to the left to find her posted casually against the trunk of a tree not fifteen feet away. I frowned. How had she slipped past me? Even in the dark I could see the smile stretch her face, as if answering my unasked question.

"You get too lost to your own musings. It makes you sloppy." I swallowed and slowly turned to face her fully.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to realize I have not been diligent enough with you." My eyes widened slightly and my breathing quickened.

"Whatever do you mean?" She chuckled and popped up off the tree trunk.

"It is your disobedience that endears me to you so, love. I like it, oh yes. I do so love how you defy me." She licked her lips and I saw that dangerous gleam in her eyes that promised violence and pain, danger. "Defiance does not bother me. Your uncertainty does."

"I have done nothing, Sara." The words spilled out of my mouth quicker than I could catch them. Her eyes flashed and she took a few calculated steps so that the moonlight lit her face. She spoke as if I had said nothing.

"I have watched the uncertainty boil your blood and taint those beautiful eyes. Uncertainty leads to distrust and shortly behind distrust comes treachery. I will have none of that from you." Her voice held the edge of anger. She began smoothly gliding forward. My heart began to hammer against my ribs but I stood my ground.

"I have done nothing to incite this rage." She stopped and blinked at me for a few moments before laughing an abrupt sound.

"So what if you haven't. Will you stop me?" I swallowed hard and tried to fight the fear trying to rise up and strangle me.

"You cannot punish me for what I haven't done."

"You have not done a great many things that I have told you must be done. Punishing you for what you haven't done is all I can punish you for since there is nothing, as you said, that you have done. Your uncertainty has prevented you from following my wishes."

"If you punish me for what I have not done then when you punish me for what I have I will not know the difference." She grinned and then I was flying through the air, fighting to breathe past the crippling pain in my gut where she had punched me. I crashed into a tree and I heard the wood groan under the impact before I slid to my knees on the ground. I rested my head on my upraised knee as I relearned the process of inhaling and exhaling. Her laugh was what told me how close she was. My spine screamed at me as I shoved myself to my feet.

"So defiant." She made defiant sound dirty, as if she had just called me sexy. I winced as a sharp jolt of pain zipped up my spine.

"What do you punish me for?" I gasped out.

"Your uncertainty."

"How do you know I am uncertain?" Her eyes widened a bit before she stopped and put her hands on her hips.

"You have information for me then?" I swallowed hard and weighed my options, sighing when, as usual, I was shit out of luck. I had made my decision before coming here. I braced myself as much as I could and I watched the gleam of triumph, or was it anticipation, in her eyes as she saw my response before I spoke it.

"No." She moved in a blur, one second she was where I could see her the next she wasn't. I felt the solid impact of the ground beneath me, felt my head bounce off of it, but the world spun slowly as if I were still moving. I winced loudly as I forced myself to my hands and knees. A foot in my ribs sent me sailing again, rolling across the ground to absorb some of the impact. I used the dregs of the rolling momentum to come unsteadily to my knees. The world still spun so that when I finally found Sara with my eyes she appeared to keep moving in an odd oval-like, trailing motion without moving at all.

"You will tell me what I want to know, Takuma."

"No. I will not." Star-bursts exploded across my vision as the earth came up to smack me once again. I groaned and spit a mouthful of blood out as I heaved myself up. This time I staggered to my feet and moved slowly until I could see Sara standing only five feet away from me. My vision was blurred and I felt the warm tickle of blood on my face but all that mattered was her.

"What is Kaname planning, Takuma? He has to be planning a counter-attack. What is it?" I shook my head but immediately stopped when the world began to slosh with the motion. I swallowed hard against the nausea burning up my throat. "You will tell me one way or the other. You will not much enjoy the other way." I chuckled, a sound turned thick with the blood that forced its way back up my throat.

"But you will. Won't you?" She stopped and I smiled as I got to watch confusion and curiosity chase across her face.

"Are you baiting me, my kirei?" I smiled wider and felt the skin of my bottom lip split open wide with the motion. Her eyes followed the fresh flow of blood for a moment. I knew what she liked. She loved to hurt me until I was sore and bleeding. The sight of all the blood, the pain sounds as she rode my broken and bleeding body into the ground was her favorite. I tugged on my once white button down until the first three buttons exploded off in different directions. Her eyes dipped down to the bared flesh of my chest then back up to my face.

"If I wanted to bait you it wouldn't take much." I crumpled to the ground, doubling over as I tried to breathe through the red hot pain lancing through my abdomen where she'd just hit me.

"Predictable am I?" I rolled my eyes up to glance at her briefly then away so I could focus on keeping the world steady enough to stand again. I hunched in on myself as I stood but I was still standing.

"I knew before I came here that you would find some reason to hurt me. You always do. It doesn't matter how much you hurt me this time. I will not help you again Sara." She grinned wide enough that I thought her face might split in half.

"You will. If I have to peel the flesh from you the same way I did Zero, you will help me." I laughed so hard that I fell back to my knees, holding my stomach as the world exploded from the agony of laughing but I couldn't seem to stop. She had no idea what she had done yet, no idea what her infatuation with gore, violence and power had led her into. Not yet.

"What is so funny? I want to laugh."

"The problem with torture is that once you've put someone through something like that everything else sort of pales in comparison. Your threats cannot scare me, Sara because you cannot possibly inflict anything upon me that you have not already done." I stumbled back to my feet and rolled my shoulders in an attempt to settle the tension between them before meeting her eyes. "I will not hurt my friends, Sara. I will not help you and the best part is you cannot make me." She made some inarticulate noise at the back of her throat before her nails dug into my chest, burying into my flesh enough that I could feel her scrape my ribs. She shoved me up the trunk of the tree that was suddenly behind me using just her fingers. I gasped in pain as she shoved me into the bark, making the wood groan.

"You have grown bold with my negligence of you. I see now I have left you alone for far too long. You no longer fear me."

"You're wrong. I do fear you." I winced out around the pain. "But I will no longer let you control me because of it." She smiled and I knew I would see that curl of lips in my nightmares if I lived to ever have another. I screamed as she twisted her fingers through my flesh until one of my ribs snapped with a sharp crack. She leaned into me so that she could catch my eyes.

"I have never stripped all this pretty, pretty flesh from your bones, Takuma. I will slice away one piece at a time until there is nothing left of you and your sanity folds beneath my tender affections. Does that scare you enough to win your loyalty, love?" She leaned in and licked the blood on my chest. "Mmmmmmmmm...The acrid aftertaste of fear adds just the right bouquet. What do you say? Should we just put this whole dispute behind us and have some fun?" I gripped her one wrist with both of my hands and tried In vain to keep her hand from slipping further into my chest cavity. I must have taken too long to answer because she frowned a second before she twisted her hand and two more ribs snapped, stealing all my air. "I asked you a question, Takuma and I expect an answer." I growled with what air I had and she chuckled. "You are so pigheaded tonight. I love it." I lifted my head and bared my teeth at her.

"Hurt me. Kill me. Do what you wish. You'll get none of what you seek from me." She growled before leaning into me, using her weight to slide her hand further into my chest.

"You love me, Takuma. I already have you." My heart clenched for a second and once again I wondered, why? Why did I love her? Was this really love? She screeched and I was suddenly screaming as her fingers shoved their way into me, and then I couldn't breathe. I fell deathly still as I felt her fingers curl around my heart that was racing all too fast.

"You did it again. I just watched you question me." I looked at her, terror pumping ice through my veins. This could be it. The thought rocketed through me and still I couldn't help but feel satisfied. In the end I had finally broken free from her. I was myself again. I smiled gently at her and defied her to take the heart she'd fought to get to, to rip it free. I dared her. Her eyes widened and for a second I saw a flash of panic that fed that inexplicable, foolish hope deep within the very heart that she held in her hand that always seemed to endure for her.

"I will have you, Takuma. Do you hear me? You. Are. _MINE!_ " She yelled the last through my mind and then all I could do was scream as my world narrowed down to her. There was nothing else but her. No one and nothing else mattered. Only her.

 **Kaname's POV**

The heavy metal grind of one of my favorite workout songs growled loud in my ears, the echo of it pounding through my body as my feet flew over the ground. The reverberation of each step seemed to thrum through me in tune to my rapid heartbeat. I lost myself to the blur of the solid white lines of my lane on the brand new track that had been installed to encourage the enrollment of human students. Yuki thought if the campus had some social curb appeal such as sports fields and equipment to establish teams the humans would feel more comfortable. Kaien had thought it was a great idea and commenced with construction only two days after the gym reconstruction had finished. I had yet to see any of the students on it but the guards were certainly taking advantage of it. I cranked my music up a few more notches until the blare of noise was almost painfully loud, drowning out the annoying voice of my inner asshole who loved to kick me when I was down.

My whole body burned, the walls of my lungs constricting on themselves. A sharp pain stabbed through my side but I ran faster and faster until the world blurred around me, until the tears that stung my eyes whipped free in a wind of my own creation and my hair streamed behind me. My skin was wet with my sweat so that it felt like I had done a lap in a pool before running in a whirlwind of my own speed and energy. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't run fast or far enough away from the faces that haunted me.

Suddenly, the bittersweet scent of blood filtered lightly through my consciousness and then I was drowning in it. I stopped abruptly, forgetting how fast I had been going and it was like pulling the emergency break while at warp speed. My momentum pitched me forward so that I had to catch myself with my hands, carrying through the motion of a front-flip, landing in a crouch. The world around me was blurry, unfocused and kind of gray around the edges. I blinked rapidly as I tried to both readjust my eyes and relearn how to breathe on my own. I hadn't realized that while it had felt like I couldn't bring in enough air while I'd been running at least I had my own speed to force air into my lungs. The night was too quiet, still, without the loud whir of it moving around me in my ears. I ripped the headphones out of my ears and fell forward so that I was on hands and knees as I struggled to breathe. The cloying scent of blood rode through the night air thick enough that it provided the illusion of water, making it even more difficult to find the few precious mouthfuls of oxygen I could. It was getting stronger. Whoever was bleeding this badly was surely dying.

I saw the darkness shift minutely in the treeline off to my right and whipped my head towards it. I stared at that dark blur until I began to be able to see the outline of broad shoulders and an oddly shaped head. I frowned and squinted at the large blob that was the rest of his body from the chest down. As he moved forward I began to pick out more details. He was carrying someone in his arms and whoever it was they were tall. The first beams of moonlight when he cleared the treeline highlighted the edge of a cowboy hat with tendrils of smoke crawling around the well loved, worn edges. My heart stopped for a minute as I watched him walk towards me, a sight I had been sure I would never see again. He stopped about ten feet back from me. I knew he was staring down at me even though the ink black of the shadows beneath that hat were impenetrable even to the fiery flare of his cigarette.

"Well? Are you going to get off your royal ass and help me save your friend here or are you going to sit their like the village idiot?" His voice was the smooth yet oddly husky tenor I remembered. I stood and could feel my muscles protest at the abuse I'd thrown their way. He huffed and continued walking right past me. I stood and watched him for a moment before I trotted after him.

"What are you doing, Toga?"

"I'm saving his life, apparently, if I can get him to a medic in time. You _do_ have a medic on this campus, yes?" He glanced back at me over his shoulder as if expecting me to answer him.

"Of course." He chuckled softly and turned back to his path. "I meant what are you doing _here_ , Toga?"

"We need to hurry if we are to save him. His condition is worsening." I focused on the man in his arms and knew he was right. His heart was beating but it didn't sound right, too sluggish, too thick. Before I could say anything Toga cursed under his breath and began running. I jogged to keep up but couldn't convince my muscles to _run_ and so the human hunter steadily outpaced me. His pace increased and I could smell the urgency in the wake of heart-blood and death he trailed. I groaned and forced myself to run as fast as I could manage and was soon beside him.

"He's dying." Toga glared at me out of the corner of his eye and grunted in agreement.

I heard the heart of the man in his arms stall for a moment which is what made me look down at him for the first time. I stared and for a moment it was like my brain refused to see him which I recognized as a very bad sign only a moment before I _saw_ him. I stumbled bad enough that I almost face-planted, having to use my hands to shove me back to my feet. No! I ran past Toga and stood directly in front of him, forcing him to stop. He opened his mouth to say something but I slid my arms under the man in his arms and curled him in against my chest, spinning away and running for all I was worth. I shrugged my left arm, shifting his weight so that his head rested against my neck instead of back over my arm where he could choke on his own blood. A cough bubbled up his throat, pouring hot, thick trails of blood down my neck and chest. I glanced up to the heavens desperation drove me to pray for the first time in what felt like a very long while. Please let me get there in time. Please. I struggled to breathe through the flames that scorched my lungs and crashed through the doors of the infirmary. Nekohime, one of our newer additions at the academy, jumped and whirled to face me as the doors began to swing closed. I rushed him over and laid him down on one of the empty beds, gesturing wildly at him as I collapsed to my knees from lack of oxygen for the second time that night.

I heard the fleshy rip of wet cotton. Nekohime sucked in a sharp breath and I knew without having to look that it was bad. My nose, ears and the blood on my chest told me that this was bad, so why did I _need_ to see it for myself? I grabbed onto the edge of the bed and pulled myself up on wobbling legs to look down at the gore before me. He had a hole in his chest big enough to put my fist through, the edges were torn and a few of his ribs stabbed through his skin at odd angles. Blood bubbled out of his nose and a thick trail ran down from the left side of his mouth.

Nekohime whirled and raced across the room as fast as her mortal legs could carry her, flipping up the plastic cover to push the two buttons beneath. My phone buzzed and rang incessantly until I snatched it free of my pocket and shut it off by looking at the urgent message sent by the infirmary. I knew that Kaien, Yuki and even Dai got the same message. The other button Nekohime had pushed would alert the medical staff of the emergency. Sure enough, before that thought even finished the doors burst open, admitting six people, all pushing a cart of something: blood, surgical equipment, a defibrillator, towels, gauze, antiseptic, IVs, heart monitors and a ventilator. I slowly moved backwards through the hustle until my back hit the wall, getting out of their way.

"Fuck...I'm going to need to open him up. Get me the oscillating saw, retractor..." Nekohime's voice rang loud and clear, directed at no one in particular, as if she just assumed someone would do as she asked.

"We can't." One of the other "nurses" interrupted. She glared at him.

"What the fuck do you mean you can't! This man is going to die if you don't so move your ass!"

"We can't because the infirmary isn't equipped to handle a procedure like this. This is a school, not a hospital, doctor." She stared at him for a few moments and I watched her think furiously. She finally nodded.

"Fine. Sedate him with anything we have, try to keep him out of it as best you can. Hook him up to a saline drip and a blood bag and get him out of these clothes." The man hustled out of the room. She turned and pointed to a tall woman with her hair braided back from her face, fully decked out in weapons as if she had been called off the front line for this. "Prepare a needle and thread for suturing and clean the wound as best you can." The woman dipped her head and turned to begin her task. Nekohime sighed and rolled her shoulders as if trying to shrug off something uncomfortable while walking over to me. I flinched as she stopped about four feet from me.

"Lord Kuran, I must speak to you." I looked past her to see him sprawled across the table. Tears blurred my vision as I panted through the inferno raging in my lungs. I blinked them away as I looked back at her.

"He's dying." My voice was thick and cracked at the end of my statement. She sighed and looked down at the ground.

"His heart is failing. I don't have the time or equipment to discern the extent of the damage done without performing an emergency open heart surgery."

"And you can't do that."

"Not here, no. I need a saw, a retractor, clamps, specific thread for suturing, plates and screws for repairing the sternum, of which is splintered at the very least as far as I can discern. Anesthesia-"

"Anesthesia doesn't quite stick with vampires. We have an incredibly high tolerance that makes overdose a serious risk." She nodded.

"Yes. Even if I had the equipment and all the materials required for the procedure the likelihood of success is slim. The anesthesia alone might kill him because the amount I would have to administer could very well rupture his heart."

"Can't you operate without anesthesia?" She frowned at me like I was being a petulant child.

"Would you like to be the one to try to put stitches through a beating heart while your patient is awake, aware, screaming and flailing in pain?" I couldn't help the tears that scalded my skin, squeezed out under the pressure and pain of the moment.

"So you can't save him." She sighed deeply and her shoulders rounded slightly.

"I don't even know the extent of his injuries, which appear to be severe from the external damage alone. Without knowing how hurt he truly is an operation, even with everything I needed, would be a gamble at best."

"What use are you if you can't save his fucking life? Isn't that your job!" Her lips thinned out as her eyes lit with quiet rage.

"I don't know what happened to him for him to have sustained this wound. I don't know if the pericardium has been torn, if there are any tears in the heart muscles, ruptured blood vessels, nothing. I have no machines to see if any of his other internal organs are damaged and I neither have the time to dick with that, even if I had access, or to transfer him somewhere that is better equipped because he'd be dead long before I could get him to someone that could help with this shit. Regardless of the fact that I don't have any information to go on or the equipment I would need for an operation like this I do not have the experience you would want from someone about to put a needle through your friend's heart a couple hundred times. I specialize in orthopedics, not cardio-thoracic surgery. I dabbled in that field for a while but trust me when I say, you want someone to be confident and comfortable when doctor Frankensteining your buddy's heart." I wanted to scream and throttle her but I settled for hugging myself and staring at the ground as I quietly cried.

"What can we do?"

"Make him as comfortable as possible, feed him fluids, close up as much of the damage as we can and hope he heals on his own."

"And if he doesn't? If he can't heal this?" I looked up at her then and saw that she wished I hadn't asked that question. She swallowed but responded without flinching.

"Then his heart will fail."

"Like a heart attack?" She shrugged.

"I suppose that analogy will do." I stared at her for a couple of minutes. "I'm very sorry, Lord Kuran. It is my understanding that he is a close friend of yours. If you want a few minutes alone with him I will arrange it as soon as we have him settled." Her professional speak was getting to me. How could she sound so cold and clinical when he was dying? My friend lay on a bed about twelve feet away and she didn't seem to give a damn! I wanted her to go away almost more than anything.

"I would appreciate that. If you could just do me one favor?"

"Absolutely."

"Get the fuck away from me." Her eyes widened a bit but other than that there was no reaction. She simply dipped her head in acknowledgment without breaking eye contact with me, turning calmly away as if she were used to such reactions. About fifteen minutes later the room was empty and quiet except for the beep of the heart monitor and the gasping huff of the ventilator hooked to the tube that they'd shoved down his throat to force his lungs to expand and contract. I slowly walked over to the bed and couldn't feel my legs at all. I clasped one of his hands in both of mine and dropped to my knees, placing it on my forehead as I let my disbelief flow free in silent rivulets.

The door burst open and I heard the urgent mutterings of Nekohime. I lifted my head to find Senri standing in the doorway, eyes wide with the tears he was keeping from falling. He moved towards the bed as if he were in shock and I growled at the yammering voice of that cold, annoying woman. She sniped off one last remark before leaving. I watched silently as Senri ran his fingers through Takuma's hair, down the beautiful, nearly feminine lines of his face.

"Senri...?" He just stared down at the other man as if I hadn't spoken. I stood and walked around the bed to put a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and turned his head to me enough for me to see the look of disbelief and pain in his eyes that rivaled my own and still be able see Takuma.

"Nekohime told me he was dying. Is it true?" I couldn't answer as I stared into the blue-grey storm of emotions in his eyes. He must have found the answer to his question in my silence because he made some small noise deep in his throat before he went back to staring at Takuma. Senri stared at him for a few moments in silence before he chuckled sadly and shook his head as he ran his fingers through the other man's hair.

"You'll be fine Taki. You'll make it through this. You're an aristocrat. We are annoying and arrogant and to make it better or worse we don't die this easily. You'll make it. You have to." I stood there with my hand on his shoulder listening to him mutter to the unnervingly still body of our friend, trying to convince himself more than the other man. Where was Yuki? Or Kaien? They should be here by now. Suddenly Senri whirled on me, gripping both my upper arms tightly and shaking me a little.

"You can save him. Just like you did with Zero. You can do it. You can save Takuma, Lord Kuran!" I startled and couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner. I turned to find the beauty of a treasured friend draining before my eyes and without another thought I climbed up on the table, throwing a leg over his frail body to straddle him. I didn't so much summon my magic as I just stopped trying to hold it back. It crashed through me and I threw my head back with a groan. I closed my eyes as I felt the faint brush of Takuma's aura beneath me. I could see the ever-fading golden and green glow of it. Panic forced my heart to play hop-scotch as I literally felt his life slipping away for a moment. I lay my hands on the thin veil of his aura and directed all my magic into the point of connection, pushing until a small pop sounded through my head followed by the feeling of plunging my hands into a pool of cool water. The aura usually felt warmer than this and thicker, more like submerging my hands in blood than water. I frowned. Something was wrong. His aura crept up my arms, molding into mine as was required for this magic. I gasped as the last connection between us was formed and winced, nearly doubling over as my body screamed in agony. _Fuuuuuuuuuuccckkk_...

"What? What is wrong, lord kaname?" Had I said that aloud? My body shuddered and then I was fighting to breathe, choking. Something was choking me. My lungs were heavy and bubbled with every inhale from the blood filling them, something was in my throat, a huge obstruction that was forcing my lungs to make that terrible sound. There were hands on me, on my chest. The only spot that didn't hurt was where they touched me.

"KANAME!" My eyes flew wide, Revealing Yuki's face. She was in her battle gear covered in blood, bone and thicker things that I didn't want to think about. Her eyes were wide and shining with tears that spilled down her cheeks.

I slumped forward suddenly and the world began to gray out as Takuma's, my, heart stopped. I heard people around us and felt the terror, disbelief, regret and slew of emotions as death reached out to claim us. A scream sounded and I heard gunfire distantly, as far away as it sounded it was enough to help me divorce myself from Takuma's pain, to shove death away and offer the man beneath me life. I threw my magic into him, pushing on the gaping hole in his chest to direct the raw burst of it. My spine bowed and I felt his chest beneath my hands echo me as I choked on our scream. I needed to scream from the pain, needed a release. Our hands scrambled at the bed, grabbed our other arms, clutched at our waist. I leaned over him and nearly collapsed as I clumsily tore the ventilator free of his throat, feeling the hard plastic of it burn on its way out. We screamed as the bones re-knit in our chest, the muscles wound and the skin wove together as I undid everything that had been done to him. I leaned heavily on my hands on Takuma's chest that heaved beneath me. His eyes were wide and I saw his mouth move as his hand reached out to me but I couldn't hear him. His aura was still cool. I frowned and delved into him with a tendril of magic, searching for anything that could explain what was happening. When I touched his heart I found a cold pit of magic that definitely did not belong to Takuma. It burst under the gentle caress of that tendril of magic and I knew what this was. Takuma's whole body seized beneath me, his fingers digging into the flesh of my waist as he screamed raggedly. The skin beneath my palm was growing cool and I knew if I didn't stop this Takuma would be beyond help. I shook my head. A fucking magical booby-trap?

"Not today, bitch." I poured my magic over him, coating him with it and willing him to live, to thrive, to shine for me. I gave him my warmth, driving the icy pit within him out. It was seeking refuge from the heat before it melted and found it, racing up my arms as I gave Takuma the only defense I had left for him.

I didn't fight the cold as it slammed into my heart with the weight of eternity, throwing me off of the now very alive Takuma, I welcomed it, drinking it down. I felt the last drops of it leave Takuma because the connection broke between us and suddenly I felt frozen, like the sun had abandoned me to the darkness. I screamed and writhed as tendrils of that forever winter night slowly coiled through me.

 **Yuki's POV**

Kaname slumped forward, forcing me to catch him. I panicked as both Takuma and Kaname stopped breathing and their hearts fell still. The door suddenly crashed in and a scream followed by gunfire sounded. I let Kaname fall on top of Takuma and hopped off the table, throwing up a shield just as a red hot spear punched its way through my hand. I hissed and then growled as I looked down to find a perfectly round bullet hole through my hand. Well, fuck. I looked back to make sure neither of them had been hit only to find that Senri was laying on his side next to them, shielding them with his own body. Twister fell into a crouch on one side of me while Rima echoed him on the other. I heard someone flailing behind me and then Kaname screamed. I turned my head enough to see Kaname bowed backwards above Takuma as the man beneath him flailed, choking around the tube down his throat. I watched Kaname nearly fall on top of Takuma and rip the tube, none to gently, out of the other man's throat. Takuma seized beneath Kaname, who kept his hands shoved against Taki's chest while they both screamed. I could feel the inferno of Kaname's magic burn against the skin of my back as I turned back to the problem at hand. Both Twister and Rima looked to me and away from the three men behind us as three insurgents moved forward in that bent-legged, awkward crouch-run that you see in the movies. It looked weird but it was the most efficient way to move in combat that I'd found. They were coming for us and they weren't human. Twister checked his gun, popping the magazine out and counting before slamming it home.

"Almost out. I got five rounds left." Rima nodded and without counting or taking her eyes off our targets responded.

"Three for me."

"What are we doing?" Twister asked distractedly. Obviously we were about to be in a whole lot of shit but I didn't say that. Normally three enemies were a walk in the park but these guys were different. It had taken all the ammo we had and the lives of two of our people to get through the other nine insurgents. These three had slipped through the cracks. We were too vulnerable, too trapped and exposed at the same time. Saying the infirmary was not the best place for combat was a hell of an understatement.

"Put away your guns." Rima re-holstered without question but Twister flicked a nervous glance my direction.

"You sure about this, suga'?" I smiled slightly.

"Look at where we are. You're more likely to kill us than save us if you shoot in here." He shrugged and sighed, sliding his gun into its holster.

"Well, fuck." I smiled wider as he echoed my earlier exclamation. "We're about three heads short of a stampede of fuckery. In layman's terms, we be fucked." I laughed and could hear Rima chuckle softly next to me as I nodded my agreement.

"Looks to be that way, doesn't it." Our friends were pacing along the perimeter of my little bubble of protection, running their hands along it to try to find a chink in the armor. We didn't have long. The screaming suddenly stopped behind us and all three of us turned to look, the sudden silence so much worse than the screaming of before.

"DON'T!" Takuma reached toward the other man as he yelled at Kaname. A wash of frigid air suddenly flooded the room and Takuma's head rocked back, slamming into the table as his whole body seized violently, pounding him into the hard metal of the operation table again and again, his peal of terror jagged from all the impact. He clutched at Kaname's hands where they pushed into his chest still.

"Not today, bitch." Kaname mumbled, face furrowed with concentration. I gasped as I literally saw the brilliance and strength of all the power within Kaname light him up with a honey-amber glow. I watched all that light flow into Takuma and it was as if the pale, sickly glow that had been within Takuma switched with Kaname's like an exchange of sun and moon, one light bright enough to make the other seem like shadow. The exchange of Takuma's ice with Kaname's fire caused a tide of cool wind to rip through the room, whipping my braid around me. Kaname's whole body shook until with the last drops of whatever was being exchanged he was thrown free of the table, to land only a few feet from the edge of my barrier where he screamed and writhed.

Two things happened all at once: two of the vampires in front of us fell to their knees before their heads could land beside them, rolling across the floor as Rima moved in a blur towards Kaname, grabbing his head and bouncing it hard off the floor twice in quick succession. I had time to see Toga standing in a defensive crouch, the sword he'd used to decapitate the others held across his body like a shield as the third one rushed him, fangs snapping. Anything that may have seemed human about the vampire had melted away, leaving nothing but the ruthlessness and savagery of a cornered animal. The man leaped up on Toga, wrapping his legs around the other man's waist as he shoved his own flesh into the blade before him in an attempt to sink his fangs into Toga. The vampire dug his fingers into Toga's shoulder, making him grunt in pain. I saw the gleam of the blade in a quick flash of movement and then the vampire was screaming, clawing at Toga as the taller hunter rode the thing to the ground, driving the much smaller blade he'd pulled from somewhere on his person up and under the sternum with the impact of the fall. Toga reared back as the thing screamed and clawed at it's own chest. The sword still in Toga's hand came down in a blur, the metal of it singing as it hit the floor after cleanly slicing through the neck of the vampire. He sat back on his haunches, still straddling the vampire and just took a few moments to breathe before he stood up, flicking the blood from his sword. He looked at me as he moved over to the other two fallen vampires. He dropped to his knees between them, rolling them both onto their backs.

"What are you doing? I'm pretty sure headless means dead." Twister said. Toga spared him a glance before pulling a sawed off shotgun from from behind his back on a sling and shoved it into the body angling it under the ribs into the heart of the female vampire and squeezed the trigger, blowing the entire chest cavity to shreds. He turned and did the same thing to the third male. He sat back on his haunches and pulled what looked like a handkerchief from the inner pocket of his trench coat and began cleaning the blood from his sword.

"You have to take out the heart and the head. Just don't remove whatever you stab the heart with until you're capable of destroying it."

"Why?" Rima asked.

"Because they'll get back up eventually."

"What?!" Both Rima and Twister exclaimed. I felt my eyes widen as I looked down at the red ruin of the chests of the two vampires closest to the shimmer of my aura of protection. I realized then that I was defending us as if we were still in combat and withdrew my magic, drinking it back down and locking it away. Toga watched the shield fall and eyed me up critically.

"You have come a long way since I last saw you." I nodded.

"It's been a while. I would love to catch up but I fear we have other things to attend to first."

"Practical as always." He smiled slightly and looked to me as if he were waiting for me to continue.

"I'd love to ask where you've been and what you're doing here but I think the more pertinent question is how did you know how to kill them?"

"I'm here to talk to you about the very things I just killed."

"Lady Kuran, Lord Kaname is growing cold. We must wait to discuss such things until we can figure out what has happened to him." Rima's voice held a note of urgency that hadn't been there before. I looked over to Kaname to find an icy pale blue creeping up his snowy white neck.. Panic flashed through me and I nodded.

"Where is Nekohime?"

"I believe the woman you speak of is unconscious in the hallway." Toga's voice sounded distracted and when I looked to him he was focused on cleaning his sword once again. I swore under my breath as I looked around finding both Kaname and Takuma unconscious.

"I can carry Takuma, m'lady, if you have something in mind." Senri said, eyes earnest on the still form of the man in question. I too stared at Takuma's still form and thought furiously, turning my back to my friend to face the ever more blue skin of Kaname. His ripe pink lips were a deep purple now. What was this? How could I save him from it? Was it contagious? If I touched him would it be the same as that village? I frantically looked around the room as if the walls themselves would supply the answer I so desperately sought. I found Toga looking at me as he cleaned the rest of the blood from his blade.

"Well? What are you planning on doing to save him? You are planning on saving him, yes?" I blinked a couple of times at him before responding.

"I was kind of hoping that someone else knew what the fuck this was." He smiled slightly before slipping his sword into it's sheath without looking, the ease of the motion displaying the comfort of old habit.

"Can't help you there, highness." He pulled a slightly rounded pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket tapping one out and using his lips to pull it free.

"You haven't seen anything like this?" His eyes flicked up to mine as the snick and flare of his lighter lit the end of his cigarette in a brilliant orange glow. He exhaled as the lid snapped closed and he pocketed it smoothly, another well practiced habit.

"Can't say I have." I swore under my breath and looked back down to find Kaname's lips a startling powder blue that was beginning to creep up and over his nose. Whatever this was I had the niggling feeling that we were running out of time to figure it out. I wanted to save him. I did. The only problem was that I had no idea how.

"Fuck." I grumbled as I began moving towards the so still body of my husband. I crouched gingerly next to him unsheathing the blade on the outside of my thigh that was almost as long as my forearm. Someone took a hissing breath in and I looked up to find Twister staring at me with wide eyes. I ignored him and simply used the weapon as an extension of my arm, slipping it under the edge of the nearly skin tight workout shirt, slicing it open in a clean line to reveal his chest and stomach. My eyes widened and I heard someone mutter something obscene. The skin over his heart was the blue of the sky on a cloudless day and spreading it's deeper blue slowly out. I couldn't see it spreading when I was trying but every time I looked back it covered a larger area. The entirety of his abdomen was that powder blue color. I was pretty sure that the blue came in stages and I had a bit more time, but not much. The blue was spreading slowly but not slow enough to fuck around and figure out the science behind the metaphysics. I remembered Rima saying that Kaname was growing cold. I glanced over to her and she startled a bit at the abrupt attention.

"You touched him?" She nodded and I echoed her. "Let me see the hand you touched him with." She frowned and then held her hand out and came closer. I held out a single hand, a sign for her to stop. I didn't want anyone else near Kaname and I, just in case this shit spread via proximity. She did. Her hand was as pale as it usually was but I saw no traces of blue. I nodded again and went to my knees so that I could lean over him. I ripped the remains of his shirt from him, jerking his body with the motion. The looseness of the movement unnerved me but I placed my hand over his heart instantly jerking away with a quiet hiss as the bitter cold of him stung my skin. How was his heart still beating through this? I hovered my hand over the spot I'd just touched and felt the cold radiating from him.

"Shit." I mumbled before placing my hands back over his heart, ignoring the bitter cold, running my hands over his chest. The cold faded the further from the blue I was, his hands being warmest. I leaned in and listened carefully to his body, shoving the panic down when I couldn't hear anything. I forced myself to focus, stilling my own breath. For one long moment I heard nothing and then the faint, slow and sluggish whoomp of his heart came to me and my breath left me on a soft sigh. He was alive, but he wouldn't be for long. Whatever I was going to do I needed to do it. I slid the knife in a quick motion over his heart and no blood welled in it's wake. More exclamations in the background expressed my concerns for me. I leaned over him more and used the flat edge of my knife to push around the edges of the wound to find the brilliant red of what was once liquid squish out of the small wound like a slushy. This was so not good. I quickly twisted my body, grabbing his hand in mine and yanking the blade across his palm. The blood flow was a bit sluggish but it did flow, thicker because of the cold.

"Well?" I looked across from me to find Toga sitting on the other side of Kaname with his legs folded casually beneath him. "What's the prognosis, doc?" He flicked the ashes from his cigarette on the floor without a care as smoke dribbled from his nose and mouth.

"He's dying."

"No shit. That little song and dance tell you something the rest of the class didn't already know or did you just do it for shits and giggles?" I ground my teeth and shoved my anger down as I glared at him.

"He's freezing to death from the inside out as far as I can tell."

"Yeah?" He sounded disinterested but I knew he wasn't, or at least the Toga I knew wouldn't have been. "You got a plan to thaw out encino man here or should I start planning the funeral?" I ignored him as I looked back down to find the deeper blue creeping up towards Kaname's neck. What could I do? How did I stop this? I stared at him, thinking furiously. I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Twister come over to me until his hand landed on my shoulder. I jumped and turned to look at him to find all that massive body folded down in a crouch beside me.

"Lady Yuki, please. What do you want us to do? Tell me and it will be done." I stared blankly at him for several moments before it came to me.

"Thaw. Thaw!" Twister frowned and I turned my head to smile at Toga. "Thank you." He raised an eyebrow as he took another drag off his cigarette before dipping his head. I turned back to Twister.

"Can you carry him and keep up with me?" He nodded and without another word he lifted Kaname in his arms and stood.

"What are you doing?" I turned back to Toga, the person most likely to have what I needed.

"Got a grenade?" His eyebrow raised again but he smiled before reaching under his coat, tossing me exactly what I'd asked for. I grinned and began running. I heard Rima call after me but I ignored her, tearing ass through the building until grass flew beneath my feet. I stopped and both heard and felt Twister lumber past me before stopping. He was breathing a bit heavily but then, so was I.

"Put him down." He did and then looked at me in utter confusion. "Heads up." I tossed the grenade to him.

"What the-"

"When I tell you to I want you to throw that at me." His jaw hit the floor and his eyes widened.

"What? Lady-"

"Just shut up and do it. We don't have time to argue."

"But I can't just...what are you planning on doing? If I'm going to accidentally kill you I want to know what I'm going to say to try to deflect the regicide charges." I smiled and began running away as I explained what was happening in a nutshell.

"Hanabusa and Zero are manning the perimeter and from the sound of it seem to be locked in combat, taking Busa's fire out of the equation. We need to melt the ice being pumped through Kaname's veins which means we need fire."

"Uh huh...?" He was still skeptical, scared even as I turned around to face him. He must have been over two hundred feet away and still I heard his voice clearly. "Really not convincing me here, suga'." I sighed and raised my shields, pulling Artemis from her home on my thigh, extending her to her full length and brandishing her like I was about to bar the devil from his crossroads. I wasn't sure I needed her but I'd never done this without her so call me superstitious but I would take what luck I could right now.

"I'm going to harness the power of that there grenade and attempt to use the energy to thaw Kaname." He was quiet for a moment.

"So...basically, you want to try to become the flame to his human Popsicle?" I grinned.

"Exactly." He scoffed and slapped a hand to his forehead, running his hand through his hair with a noise of frustration.

"Are you positive this is going to work?" I shook my head.

"Not at all."

"Fuck me sideways!..." He exclaimed to himself.

"Twister." He finished his string of curses before responding.

"Yes."

"Throw the fucking grenade. That's an order." He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.

"Before I blow you up I'm going to tell you, you are fucking crazy." He made crazy sound like a cross between amazing and scary but I'd take it for the compliment it was. "Just thought I'd tell you that in case we die." I didn't miss the we. Even as I heard the scrape of metal on metal as he pulled the pin and the subtle whistling of the grenade through the air I knew he was right. If this didn't work we were all dead. I just prayed I could do this.

 **A/N- Once again, I apologize for the huge gap between updates. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and cannot wait to hear from you guys about it. I'll have you know that chapter eight is already in the works and I really hope to have it to you soon. However, if I know I will not be able to get a normal chapter to you in a reasonable amount of time I will post something, though it will likely be significantly shorter than you're used to. As always, if you have any questions or concerns ya'll know how to contact me. Ta-ta for now, my lovelies and happy holidays!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Hello again ladies and gents! I didn't get this to you in a timely fashion, but this time I have a** _ **good**_ **excuse. I do not have occasion to do this very often and so I am very excited to bring you a holiday update that is my longest chapter yet! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I wish you all the happiest New Year! ;-D**

 **Disclaimer- Profane language, explicit violence and sexual content, emotional trauma and sexual abuse (I don't think in the grand scale of things that the abuse is** _ **awful**_ **but it is undoubtedly abuse. If this makes you uncomfortable or will trigger anything please don't read! I will let you know when the possible trigger moment is by putting ##########.)**

 **Yuki's POV**

I braced myself, sucking in a deep breath as I watched the grenade come closer and closer. I jumped when I felt the slight tingle along my skin when it hit my shield and dropped to the ground. There was a fraction of a second of delay and then the sound of fire tearing through the night exploded in a brilliant flash that crept up the pale jade shimmer of my shield. I didn't so much concentrate on trying to absorb all that energy as allow my magic to drink in the wall of flames licking at it. I watched the curling red-orange glow fade into the shield until it swirled through the jade barrier like the brilliance of Fall through water.

When all that remained was the smoke and earthy debris steadily raining down I withdrew my shield, sucking all that energy into myself. My head went back on my spine, eyes closing as a gasp was ripped from my throat. The power of it flowed along the inside of my body, licking at the confines of me just as it had my shield. I vibrated with the euphoria of so much power and took my first shaky step. I left the cloud of smoke at a full-out run to the relieved mutterings of Twister who was now on his knees beside Kaname administering CPR. I slid to my knees opposite him.

"How long?"

"Heart- failed...after- grenade- toss..." His breath was short as he worked on Kaname. Shit. Twister looked over at me. "What's your- plan?" I stuttered for a long unsure moment. I hadn't thought past the explosion. I had the power now. The question was how to do it? I was suddenly sucked into a memory I had tried to block out.

" _Yuki-" He stared down at me with incredibly wide eyes a second before I thrust all the energy of my pent up sexual frustration into him. He gasped loudly and I sighed in relief. He closed his eyes and seemed to be fighting all that energy, all that sex, my sex. I watched him swallow convulsively, body vibrating with the most primal urge we know. I rolled out from under him, sweeping one of his arms out in the process. He fell face first onto the bed as I rolled to my feet. He moved onto his side and hissed, seeing me standing nearly naked beside the bed before slamming his eyes shut. I watched his body slowly curl into a ball_

" _Yu-...ki-..." He gasped my name out..._

I abruptly ripped myself out of the memory with a sharp gasp, pushing down the regret and rage of that particular moment, and knew what to do. I leaned over Kaname and put both my hands on his face, closing my eyes as I willed all that energy into him and hit a wall. The magic flowed down my arms but crashed to a halt where my skin touched his. Fear panged through me.

"What's wrong?" Kaname's body moved with the motion of Twister's ministrations, still and blue. I shook my head, trying once again to no avail. Tears blurred my vision as I shook my head repeatedly.

"No. Not today. You aren't dying on me today. You hear me, you son of a bitch? You're not getting off this easy." I Threw my leg over him so that I straddled his hips, shoving Twister back in the process. He was saying something about needing to keep Kaname's blood flowing but I ignored him as I placed my lips against Kaname's.

His mouth was so cold against mine. So cold. I pushed that swirling warmth at him again but was met with failure. I sat back with a shout of frustration, tearing at my clothes and weapons rig without care until I was in nothing but my bra from the waist up. I pressed my body flat on top of his, cradling his face in my hands as I kissed him. This time I shoved my magic into him as if I were literally breathing life back into his lungs. His body jerked beneath mine as I finally felt the first tendrils enter him. My magic trickled in at first and then, as if the gates had opened, I was pouring into him. I directed all that heat at his heart, willing it to beat. An odd, sharp snap sounded deep within him and then came the first hesitant beat. I shoved all I had at it and it began to race too fast for a moment, as if making up for lost time. His eyes flared wide and a small sound filled my mouth as his muscles began to spasm slightly. Triumph tore through me a second before I realized his heart was hammering away so fast, _way_ too fast. His mouth tore away from mine and he took a screaming inhale, dragging more of my magic into him as if I were still feeding it to him. I realized our mouths were a point of connection for the magic a second before his heart stopped again. His back arched but the rest of him stayed motionless, still frozen. His eyes rolled in his head and I knew why his heart had stopped. It had been too much. Too much too soon. I withdrew my magic from his heart letting it flow as it may through the rest of him. I held my breath, waiting, until his heart thumped, slower at first before picking up to a steady pace. Kaname screamed before falling back against the floor. His eyes searched the room, wide and wild for a moment before finding me. His chest heaved and I couldn't miss the terror and confusion, like a horse about to bolt. I was opening my mouth to say something when he spoke.

"Yu-ki...?" His voice was rough and breathy as he panted. I nodded, offering him a small smile.

"Yeah. It's me." I was staring down at him, watching what I could only describe as the look a man gets when he's seen a ghost. I had never seen Kaname look like that. Never.

Suddenly he gripped me tight and pulled me against him and I was so relieved that he was alive that I didn't protest, didn't want to protest. My face rested against the side of his neck, my breath carrying his scent back to me, only he no longer smelled like himself. I frowned and analyzed this new smell. What once smelled cloyingly sweet now smelled like someone had ground up and mixed that concentrated candy perfume into a cream and froze it, a much subtler smell that reminded me of the more delicate aroma of ice cream. Not only had the sweetness changed form but the type of candy itself had changed as well. His new scent didn't cling to the back of my throat like a sucker candy would but it was darker, richer and smoother like something with chocolate, changing the chemistry altogether. Chocolate ice cream. He smelled like chocolate ice cream. Either Sara's magic or his impromptu date with death, maybe a combination of the two, had tainted him, changed something deep within him. Had he never come this close to death before? Correction, had he never died before, because for a few minutes there he had been dead. I'd never asked because who thinks about shit like that?

"You smell different." He was quiet, breathing still irregular. I thought about his breathing pattern and suddenly I could feel his, our, lungs expanding, feel the slight rattle of each inhale. I had forgotten to break the connection. I went to sit up so I could focus on doing just that but his arms tightened around me slightly.

"Please." He whispered. "Just a while longer." Whether he was talking about the embrace we were in or the magic I didn't know but I relaxed into his body giving him what he'd asked for because honestly, I didn't want to move. Not yet. He'd scared the shit out of me and I wasn't quite ready to give up the intimacy of the moment. I guess nothing is ever going to be as intimate as saving someone's life. Yep. Nothing says you love someone like bringing them back from the dead to torture them some more with the conundrum of drama and trivialities that is your dysfunctional relationship. Or was that the true definition of love? Nah, I was just being pessimistic. There has to be more to love than that...right?

"Lady Yuki?" Twister's voice came distantly to me and I realized I'd closed my eyes at some point without realizing it.

"Mmm?" I hummed. I was so comfortable, if a bit chilly. Wasn't it a bit cold?

"Yuki." Kaname's voice this time, much clearer as it rumbled through my chest. I hummed my question to him as well. I was thinking this new chocolate ice cream smell was much more comforting than his previous smell and that I should probably feel guilty about not having been too fond of how he'd naturally smelled. Then the world shifted and I was laying on my back now, the ground damp and cold. I frowned as I began to tremble from the chill.

"Yuki." Kaname again but louder, more forceful this time.

"Cold." I mumbled. I felt a very warm hand against my cheek and cuddled into it. Kaname was swearing and then I heard him and Twister talking quickly and quietly in the background.

"Whatcha whispering about?" I mumbled. They continued speaking and I just lay there, trying to hear them.

"This is a new form of magic-..."

"...have to...try and control..."

"...not exactly precedented..."

"...What happened?..."

"...very fast...confusing...had me throw a grenade at her-..."

"You threw a grenade at her!" Twister's voice was a higher pitched, more rapid blur of nervousness and I only caught three words.

"...told me to..." Damn straight I had and it had worked too! "...listen...wanted to save you...tried to reason..."

"...be talking to you later about this...Yuki?...Yuki, can you hear me?" I felt his hand on my face again and until that contact I hadn't known just how cold I was. My teeth began to chatter. "...cold...Yuki? Can you talk to me, baby?" I hummed at him. "...need you to speak..."

"Use your words, suga'. We need you to speak, let us know you can hear us."

"Hear. You...cold." They were saying something but I couldn't hear them and then something suddenly slammed into the side of my face, whipping my head to the side with the sting of the aftershock. My eyes flew wide to find Kaname kneeling next to me. Well, someone was feeling better.

"Listen! You need to break the connection between us. I'm not quite sure what you did but I think when you shoved all that energy into me and it didn't work you panicked and...feeding me your life force along with...break connection...will die...hear me?..." My other cheek suddenly stung to match the first.

"YUKI! Break the connection! I'm back, dammit! Stop trying to heal me, I feel great!" I felt light and airy now and everything had gone quiet and still for a moment. Then someone wrapped their hand in my hair, using it as a handle to move me against a very solid chest. I smelled leaves on a cool fall wind. Such a familiar smell. Where did I know that smell from. His voice came to me, first in vibrations against my back.

"Little queen?...No one can save you but you, little queen...break the connection or die." I swam towards that voice through the cold depths I'd sunken down into. "Fight. Fight or kill you and your child both."

My body jerked in reaction to that as terror drowned me in icy waves. My baby. I was feeding our lives into Kaname. I had to save the baby. It was almost as if I had no control over it at all, it just happened on it's own. One second I was wide open, pouring everything into him and the next that gaping hole slammed shut snipping the rope attaching us with an audible and rather painfully abrupt crunch and the world that I hadn't known was spinning so fast came to an abrupt halt. I cried out and heard him echo me before something heavy hit the floor. For a long couple of minutes nausea tried to creep up my throat and out of my mouth but exhaustion won out and my body went limp against the other man's. He felt so familiar, so why couldn't I remember a name? He chuckled softly and I could tell I was moving by the feel of the air shifting around me.

"'Atta girl." Those were the last words I heard him speak and as the darkness crashed over me I suddenly knew who's arms I was in. Zero. My Zero.

I came to snuggled deep within the sprawling limbs of a puppy pile of what had to be massive proportions. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and lifted my head groggily to see two people in front of me and I think three behind me and two more curled among and around the legs of everyone at the bottom of the bed. Seven. Seven people, but who were they? I squinted as I tried to discern faces. I recognized the feel and smell of Takuma against the front of me and thought I'd find Senri in front of him but was surprised to find Kaname sprawled on his back, allowing most of one side of Takuma's body to splay across his chest and legs. I wiggled a little trying to see who was at the base of the bed and felt the soft push of large breasts against my back and the tightening of her arm around my waist. Ruka grumbled in her sleep and I smiled. I knew that whoever was behind Ruka would be either Senri, Busa or, a more recent addition, Twister, because as often as Ruka slept in puppy piles with me, she'd only sleep with certain people at her back. Sure enough I found the massive shoulder spread of Twister behind her. I couldn't see who was behind Twister, all I got was a line of pale leg thrown over his hip that was most definitely female. Who else would be in the bed that was female? I ignored it for the time being and craned my neck to see who was at the bottom. I frowned as I saw a long mass of dark curls pooled over the face of a woman, mingling with a much shorter drapery of silver hair that I knew was silky soft to the touch. A nasty feeling coiled through me as I looked at how his much taller body curled around her so fragile-looking frame. She was the only person in the bed that had clothes on, or at least scrub pants and a plain black bra that cupped her perfect breasts like it was made to display them for all their glory. I looked to Zero laying so still behind her to find his eyes open and watching me, startlingly enough. His one eye watched me through the thick curls of the woman against him. I lay my head back down abruptly and glared holes into the dark ceiling above me, wanting more than anything else a way out of this damn bed. Two unknown females in bed. I didn't like it. I didn't usually dislike females in bed but I suddenly hated it. I needed to get away.

"How do you feel?" Takuma's voice came softly, thick with sleep.

"How did you know I was awake?"

"Your body tensed." Ah. Of course.

"You're much too angry for someone who woke up among such a bounty." Twister's voice came on a thick rumble.

Normally I would agree with him and would want to stay curled up in the middle of such things but today I just couldn't. Ruka's arm tightened around my waist and I knew she too was awake. Good, most everyone in my immediate vicinity was awake so I didn't feel bad extracting myself from the tangled mess of bodies. I was surprised to discover that Rima was the woman behind Twister. She wasn't a fan of the puppy pile, which was probably why she was in the least cuddly position on the bed. Everyone except for the woman Zero cuddled was awake and looking at me. I scratched my scalp to find dried flakes of blood caking under my nails. I stared at the dirty brown color of it for a moment. I don't think I'd ever get used to being covered in other people's blood. The day I did become comfortable with it I'd know that I'd crossed a line I'd never be able to step back over. I just hoped that day never came. My voice when I spoke sounded empty.

"I think I'm gonna go shower." But I didn't move. The curly haired woman made some cute, soft little noise in her sleep and rolled to face Zero, slinging an arm over his waist and snuggling her face against his chest. He looked down at her and I watched something shift in his eyes, something I didn't want to see, something much too much for the slip of a thing in front of him. Envy speared through me as I glared at her. Who was this woman? Zero met my eyes abruptly and I turned on my heel for the bathroom.

"I'm going to wash the dead people I'm wearing down the drain, now." Even I could hear the scathing heat in those words and I inwardly chastised myself for allowing that much to show.

I turned the water on, cranking up the heat as far as it would go. While I waited for it to warm up I went over to the sink finding four toothbrushes: mine: Takuma's green one, Ruka's pink one, Busa's blue one and my own yellow one. That was what let me know I was in my own room. I should have noticed sooner but I hadn't. I'd been too distracted by my own emotions. I ignored the mirror, not wanting to see the blood caked on my skin, and squeezed some toothpaste on my brush. I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when I felt someone behind me. I rolled my eyes up to see Kaname standing pale and perfectly nude. He was watching me carefully as if expecting me to react badly. His eyes flicked over to the shower then back to me.

"May I join you?" He glanced down at himself and gestured vaguely at the smears of blood on his chest and neck from where I had laid on him still covered in wet blood when I was healing him. I sighed and spit the minty freshness down the drain before rinsing my mouth out. I tapped my toothbrush against the side of the sink before placing back in it's resting place next to the others. I stood for a moment simply staring down into the sink, breathing in the growing heaviness of hot water in the air. I walked to the shower without looking at him.

"Come on."

"Are you certain-"

"I said come on." Before I change my mind. I kept the last to myself but a part of me thought I probably should have said it aloud. I slipped my fingers under the small connector piece between the cups of my bra and ripped it free. The bra that had started as a pale spring green was now a disgusting shade of brown and reeked of death having soaked up the blood of our enemies, so it didn't matter if I tore it. I'd never be able to wear it again. I slid my panties down my legs and swung open the glass door of the shower, stepping into the small room, it was simply too large of a shower to be called anything else, leaving the door open behind me as I stepped under the waterfall that acted as a shower. The water was scalding, forcing a march of goosebumps across my skin at the extreme temperature difference. I shuddered under the water and hung my head, simply allowing the water to pound down on top of me like a torrential rain.

I hated this. I hated the reek of death and decay, the feeling of someone else' life crusting and flaking along my skin and the tacky feeling of it when it was wet again. I hated that anyone should ever know what it is like to be covered in so much hot and sticky blood that the color of their skin, hair and clothes should be lost like the pieces we gave up of ourselves as it dried. I hated that I wanted to love the man who closed the door to the shower behind him like I thought I always would. I hated that the thought of his naked body against mine could move me only because I knew the pleasure I felt when our bodies joined. I hated that I was in love with a man who wasn't mine and likely never would be again because my husband had made it so. I hated that I couldn't hate Kaname as much as I wanted because a part of me would always love him. If ever you truly love you lose a piece of yourself to that person, a piece that will always be theirs, a piece that will never let you forget the person they were when they burgled your heart...even if that person no longer exists.

"Yuki...?" Kaname's voice sounded so uncertain. Uncertain enough that I turned around and blinked at him through the water. I don't know what my face showed him but it made him reach through the water towards me. He flinched and yanked his hand back, staring at the fall of water separating us. He ran his eyes over me and I watched his chest heave in the motion of a sigh, the sound of it lost to the pounding water. He stepped through the water and I watched him tense, his breath leaving him on a hiss loud enough that I heard it. He ignored the heat of the water, even though I knew he was not fond of such hot showers, and closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me. I stood motionless in his arms for a handful of moments before finally resting my arms against the small of his back. His body relaxed marginally against me and I allowed him to hold me for a few minutes before I pulled away. He was quiet as I washed my hair, twice, and ran conditioner through it. I turned around to find him watching me. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"What soap may I use?" I tossed a three in one soap to him that Takuma and Hanabusa insisted was the best thing ever.

He looked up at the last moment and fumbled to catch it, failing in the end. He picked the bottle up from the floor and read it with a raised eyebrow before squeezing a half-dollar sized amount in the center of his palm. I watched him lather his hair with a smirk, knowing that Kaname was just vain enough that he, unlike most men in my life, preferred to use salon grade shampoo and conditioner on his hair so that it fell perfectly around his face without any work or hair product at all. I watched the suds slide down the defined lines of his body, all wet and delicious. I really can't explain what is was about men and water that kick-boxed my salivary glands so hard but I was suddenly so tempted to jump his bones. His cock was at half-mast already, bouncing gently with his motions. I swallowed hard and turned my back to him so that I could finish washing. I finished before he did and was back under the water rinsing off when he made a small noise. I grinned as I felt the weight of his gaze on me, stretching my arms, arching my back and running my fingers through my long hair under the water. When he moaned softly I decided to change the game and dropped my glamour, turning to face him as I did. His eyes widened marginally but his now hard cock never flagged. He stepped forward and began rinsing off only inches from me. I watched the water and soap pour down the long, hard lines of his body and found my heart racing. I was done, so why was I still standing there watching him. His eyes opened once all the soap had swirled down the drain and I was left staring at the amazing beauty of him. I shook my head and brushed past him on my way out of the shower.

"Yuki." I ignored him, shrugging on my green and gold bath robe before swinging the door open and exiting into the radically cooler temperature of the bedroom.

Zero and the human and Senri and Takuma were still in the bed. Rima and Twister had left. Taki and Senri were cuddled comfortably with Takuma on his back running his hand through Senri's tousled, rich mahogany locks. Zero was still cuddled up with the petite human woman, casually running his fingers up and down her back. I'm pretty sure I had interrupted their quiet conversation as the three men were silently staring at me with the clear air of something interrupted. I smiled gently at them without meaning it and swept around the bed, dropping my towel and flinging the armoire doors open to begin rummaging around. I was dressed in a pair of form fitting black jeans and a long sleeve, red button down as Kaname finally exited the bathroom. I ignored him as he made his way out of the room, preoccupying myself by braiding my incredibly long hair. When I was done I turned around fast enough that my braid whipped over my shoulder. Zero was still staring at me but the other two were laying in silence, eyes closed. Only Taki's hand in it's lingering strokes disrupted the illusion of sleep. I eyed the woman next to Zero trying to figure out who the hell she was. It was only when she rolled onto her back, the tangle of her curls falling away, that her face was revealed and I knew who she was. I fought down my anger and swallowed hard a few times, taking several slow, deep breaths.

"How is she?" Zero raised an eyebrow at me, looking down at the woman in question before gingerly trailing his fingers over the bright pink, round and shiny scar on her stomach.

"Considering the fact that she was run through? I'd say she's doing pretty fantastic." I forced myself to look away from him and nodded, grabbing socks and pulling on a pair of black, high-top converse. I stood there for a minute, contemplating where to begin. How did I start trying to figure all this mess out when there were so many damned variables? I finally sighed and let my legs collapse so that I fell cross-legged to the floor. I leaned back against the armoire behind me and thought it through for several quiet minutes, feeling the eyes of the men on the bed waiting for me to decide. Suddenly I knew where to begin.

"What happened, Taki?" I looked over to find that he'd averted his gaze. He remained silent for so long that I had to ask him again before he responded.

"It would appear that Sara has escalated her pursuit of the throne, m'lady."

"I already know that, Takuma. What I don't know is how you happened to be Johnny on the spot as her second, or would that be third or fourth, declaration of war?" He rolled his eyes over to me and I could see his chest moving faster as his breathing increased. He sat up, gently extricating himself from the cozy nest of blankets and tangle of Senri's body against his. When he stood I allowed my eyes to follow the long, lean lines of muscle down the naked back of his body. He seemed to be searching for something.

"Where are my damn pants!" He growled under his breath, flinging discarded clothes around in his search before he finally decided against looking and just walked to the closet, flinging the door open to disappear inside. He came out about a minute later wearing a pair of dark blue jeans that fit very nicely across his hips and thighs, billowing out slightly at the knee, and a deep green button down, flapping open around his chest. He leaned against the wall next to the closet, staring down at the floor. I knew something was bothering him because Taki was never all that concerned with how dressed, or undressed, he was. Whatever he had to tell me was something he obviously didn't think he could say without clothes on which meant he was feeling pretty uncertain of himself right now. So not a good sign. I waited as long as my patience could hold out.

"Don't make me have to ask you again, Takuma." His shoulders slumped forward just a bit before he forced them back by shifting so that his hands were pressed between the wall and his lower back. The movement forced the shirt further apart so that the dark green cloth served as a colorful frame, highlighting all that pale muscle, an unconsciously sexy motion that all the aristocrats were capable of. They just didn't seem to realize how utterly gorgeous they were...for the most part.

"I do not know how to answer your question, my queen." I raised an eyebrow at that.

"You don't know how? Or you don't want to because I won't like the answer?" He chuckled softly but it was an empty sound.

"A bit of both I'm afraid." I frowned because I despised the sound of insecurity I heard in his words, a sound that seemed to say louder than any words that Takuma was afraid that he was about to lose something, like he was about to say something that would lose him...me and everything that came with. I wanted to make it easier for him.

"Come here, Takuma." His head snapped up and there was a slight glint of panic in those wondrously green eyes. He swallowed hard several times, gathering his courage before he did as I said. He stopped about two feet away from me. "Kneel." His legs buckled as if they'd been ready to go for some time now and he was suddenly on his knees in front of me. I got to my knees and closed the distance between us until only a few inches separated us.

"What, if I may ask, are your intentions, my queen?" I looked into those amazing eyes, looked past the color and the perfect large almond shape of them, past the thick line of brilliant lashes. He shifted uncomfortably under my scrutiny and I saw a deeply rooted fear there, barely beneath the surface. He was scared. So scared, but of what? As his friend I wanted to simply hold him and comfort him until it chased that fear from his eyes. As his queen, I had to know what had happened, even if that meant having to cause him the pain of stabbing at festered wounds.

"I have to know what happened. You understand that, don't you?" He nodded, swallowing hard again.

"Yes." It came out a whisper. Gods he was afraid. I gently touched my fingers to the back of his hand and his whole body jerked, not a reaction I had ever gotten from Takuma. I fought to keep my face blank as I ran my hand lightly up his arm. His breathing doubled and I watched his eyes widen, pupils dilating as he began trying to fight back what looked like panic, but he didn't move away.

"Calm down, Takuma. I am not going to hurt you, I promise."

"You do not know what it is I have done. You cannot make me that promise." I hesitated.

"Have you done something worthy of being hurt, Takuma?" He swallowed convulsively and bowed his head so that I could no longer see his eyes. My chest constricted because more than anything in the world at that moment I just wanted to get up, walk out and remain blissfully ignorant. I wanted to pretend that I didn't need to know what was making him so scared, but dammit, I needed to know. I needed to fucking know. I slid my hand up his neck until his jaw was nestled firmly in the palm of my hand and moved his head until I could see those eyes again. He resisted a bit at first and then yielded to me. The tears that filled his eyes sent a thrill of terror through me.

"What have you done, my friend?" He flinched and the barely contained tears broke free. "Tell me." His mouth opened and closed again and again like he was trying to figure out how to say a thousand things all at once.

"I am so sorry." He finally whispered. It took everything I had not to simply wrap him in my arms and tell him that whatever it was, I forgave him. Instead I offered him the only thing I could in that moment.

"You don't have to tell me."

"What?" He looked stricken for a moment and I couldn't help but to smile softly.

"Let me see for myself. Open yourself to me and I will look into your mind." I could see thoughts flit through his eyes in a whirlwind of emotions, faster than I could comprehend. I knew he was weighing the cost of telling me versus letting me see. If he told me I would only be privy to the words he spoke and sometimes words failed at conveying the complexity of a situation or decision. If he showed me there would be no detail that wouldn't be divulged, no emotion or physical pain that I would not feel. It was invasive and yet if he yielded his mind to me that one action might in the end be his greatest defense. He began to shake his head but he stopped himself. I watched resignation battle with his terror in those impossibly wide eyes before he nodded once. I smiled gently at him but he was not reassured. His hand came up to press against mine along his jaw.

"Can I ask for one kindness before we do this?" I frowned slightly before nodding my head in agreement.

"If it will lessen your fear then yes." He laughed softly, shaking his head.

"It will not but I...it will give me something to hold onto if..." He shook his head again and I ran my thumb soothingly back and forth over his cheek. His eyes slid shut and he sighed softly.

"What is it, Taki? Ask and I will do what I can." He hesitated for a moment before he turned the weight of those eyes on me.

"Kiss me?" I must have looked as shocked as I felt because his head dipped down to the ground. What was he about to reveal to me that he...I didn't allow myself to think about it any more. I remembered the single kiss we had shared before and allowed the memory to fill me as I slid my hand slowly into his hair, closing the small gap between our bodies so that we were pressed together in a tight line. His eyes widened when he realized I was giving him what he'd asked for. I ran the fingernails of my other hand lightly along his jaw as I guided his head to the angle I needed it at. He responded by wrapping his hands around my waist and hoisting me up using just his arms so that our lips met. His lips were as soft as I remembered but they were much more unsure than they'd been last time. I kissed him softly several times before finally gently asking for permission by flicking my tongue over his bottom lip. His breath hitched and suddenly I felt the urgency behind his kiss. His mouth fed at mine and I could taste how scared he was about what we were about to do. The taste, feel and smell of him filled my head so it felt natural to do what came next.

The door inside me that held back my magic flung itself wide open and he made a small noise into my mouth as we were both enveloped in the warmth of it. He drowned himself in our magical kiss as he let go. I directed my magic in a soft flow between our mouths and felt his spine bow slightly in reaction before that soft pop that only I could hear sounded that let me know I was inside him before the chaos of memories swarmed my mind. The hardest part about all of this was in directing the flow enough to sift through the thousands of memories to find the ones I wanted. I tried my best to ignore the ones irrelevant to my purpose and thought really hard about what I wanted to know. Sara. I thought her name really hard and was blindsided with a flood of images. The images slowed and began shifting on their own until they all but stopped.

"Please. Don't hate me." Takuma's voice plead in my mind before I was suddenly lost to him.

 **##############**

 _She walked towards me in a flowing white and pale blue gown that looked like something out of a wedding dress catalog. Sara always had been one for dramatics. The thin lace straps that held the dress up mingled with the cascade of blonde waves that poured around her, flowing with the soft wind that tickled my hair across my neck. My heart raced and the part of me that always reacted to her sat up and begged the question of what was underneath and, more importantly, if we'd get to find out. Embarrassment and shame panged through me at such a thought when I knew what she was here for._

" _Hello, my kirei."_

" _Sara." I tried to force down the part of me that she commanded and likely always would._

" _When I heard you were back in Japan I thought a visit would be in order."_

" _It is dangerous for you to be here. You shouldn't have come."_

" _Oh?" She raised an eyebrow. "Worried for my safety are you?" I ground my teeth. Always. She was always looking for some sort of declaration of love from me despite the fact that she already knew how I felt. Yet I was always left wondering how she felt for me. I scoffed._

" _You're supposed to be dead, remember? You can't exactly keep that illusion up if you're spotted." She grinned evilly and cocked a hip to rest her hand on._

" _Then I'll just have to remove the eyes that attempt to debunk the magician's act, now won't I?" I shook my head and turned away from her to pace over to the gazebo._

" _What brings you back to Japan? I thought you were Kaname's right hand man in his quest to conquer the world with his pretty smile and falsities? Surely you have not succeeded just yet." I shook my head._

" _They are not falsities, Sara. And we won't be here long." I heard the shuffle of her dress getting closer and part of me wanted to run because that was the smart part, the one that saw her for the monster she was. That same part also knew that Sara loved a good hunt and like any predator enjoyed the thrill of the chase. A smaller, though much more poignant, completely irrational part saw the danger and didn't care. In fact, it loved the thrill of her or the darkness she brought out in me, loved the fact that if I ran I knew she'd chase me. I couldn't ever explain my attraction to her, even to myself but for whatever reason it was there...and I hated it. I felt the soft, lushness of her body press against the back of mine and my eyes slid shut. Her hands slipped under the gray suit jacket that hid my weapons from the public eye, sliding along the smooth, thin black cotton shirt between her hands and my stomach. She tightened her arms around me grinding her left arm and her stomach into the guns at the small of my back and in the shoulder rig under my arm. I heard her breath leave her on a shaky sigh followed by a small shiver of delight._

" _Oh how I have missed you, my kirei." My own breathing hitched and my cock was already responding to her. "Have you missed me?" She asked as she began tugging my shirt out of my pants._

" _You know I have." My voice was going deep with the prelude to sex. Her hands roamed over my bare skin and I hissed as her nails left a stinging trail down my chest and stomach._

" _Yeah?" Her nails bit into the tender flesh over my hip bones and I shivered for her._

" _Yes." I groaned. She gently ran her nails over the hard outline of my cock beneath the tight black jeans I wore. I smelled the delicate aroma of her arousal a second before her hand moved deftly. I heard the jingle of my belt and then I could suddenly feel the light breeze across the sensitive skin of my very hard cock a brief moment before her hand closed over me. My breath left me on a low moan as she began working me over._

" _It has been so long." I shuddered and threw my hand out to steady myself against one of the wooden posts of the gazebo as she tightened her grip on me to where it almost crossed from pleasure to pain. Almost, but not quite._

" _Sara...not like this."_

" _How then?" I could hear the evil smile in her voice and I moaned._

" _Please. Don't make me beg." She laughed, low and sultry as she did something with a twist of her wrist that swept her hand over the head of my cock again and again, drawing me closer to where she wanted me._

" _Tell me what you're doing here in Japan and I might give you what you want." So that was what she wanted. I knew it couldn't have just been me she wanted. It rarely ever was. I grabbed her wrist, stilling her hand on me by force. She tightened her grip on me again but this time it was painful and not pleasurable. I hissed and squeezed her wrist until I felt the small bones grind together. She made a noise of protest and her fingers twitched like she was trying to squeeze me again but she couldn't. I continued to apply pressure until just a bit more would crush the tiny bones and finally got a small pain sound. Her hand was loose around me and I took my chance to get away, moving in a blur of motion so that as I whirled to face her I saw her stumble, catching herself on the same post I'd steadied myself on. Her hand twitched as the blood flowed back into it. She glared at me, lips half parted, breath coming a little fast. I adjusted myself so that my precious bits weren't dangling out in the open anymore, watching her eyes clock the movement._

" _I won't play your game."_

" _Oh but you will. In the end, you always do." Yes. It was an unfortunate truth that I did, one way or another, buckle to her eventually. But not this time. This time she was going to play my game. I grinned._

" _If you want me, if you want...this-" I gestured with a sweep of my hands down my body, "then you'll have to come get it." I watched her eyes narrow as a slow, utterly sinister smile curled the edges of that gorgeous mouth up to reveal her fangs slowly growing in length. I swallowed hard and turned on my heel, running as fast as I could while fastening my belt to keep my weapons intact but not bothering to fasten my pants. Even though I couldn't hear her coming I knew she'd be following me, chasing me because she was a predator, and I'd volunteered to be her prey. Just like that, she was playing my game. The only question was what would happen when she caught me? It wasn't a question of if but when, because catch me she would. A part of me, that dark and macabre part, was ready and...eager for the anger she'd inevitably feel at being so predictably swept into a game she couldn't resist. I let myself go to that darkest of places and enjoy the thrill of the chase, of being hunted, not knowing what was going to come next._

 _I felt the wind of my own speed rip my hair back from my face, felt it tug at my clothes. I ducked and dodged branches, hopped over fallen trees and over the small river that ran through the forest around the campus. I smelled her, felt her behind me and didn't allow myself to think about moving because she would sense it. Instead I just let my muscles and instincts take over, launching myself into the air so that I could see her run forward as if I was still in front of her. I dropped back to the ground, rolling with the impact and taking off to the right. I had a moment or two, maybe more before she would be back on me. I saw her running slightly behind and to the left of me out of my peripherals and knew she was going to leap before she did. I slid to a sudden stop, sliding on my ass across the leaves on the forest floor, feeling her pass over me. I put my foot down, angling myself and launched at her still air-borne form, drawing the knife at my hip._

 _Our bodies collided, spinning through the air until we slammed into the ground, rolling over and over each other with the momentum, each vying for dominance. She growled loudly next to my ear before I slammed her back into the ground. Her eyes widened in a moment of uncertainty as I brought my blade down in a silver blur, burying it in the dirt so close to her head that I smelled blood from where the blade had nicked her ear. I smelled for a brief second a small hint of fear that exhilarated me to the point of distraction. I had scared her. Me._

 _I had just one tiny moment of victory before her fist slammed into the side of my face hard enough to send me rolling across the ground. I was hauling myself to my knees when her weight crashed down on top of me, grinding my body into the leaves beneath. She grabbed a handful of my hair and wrenched my neck to the side plunging her fangs none to gently into me. I screamed at the intense pain behind the severity of her bite, clawing at the dirt, wanting to throw her off me and yet too scared that in doing so she might tear my throat open. The endorphins flooded through me and suddenly I was moaning, writhing beneath her in pleasure rather than pain. I cried out in half pleasure, half pain as she dug her fangs in deeper, worrying at my neck slightly. Fear tore through me as the thought that she might actually kill me this time occurred. As she dug her fangs in more I knew the thought had occurred to her too. I moaned loudly as every draw from her mouth on my neck and the fear that made my heart fill my mouth swept me closer and closer to orgasm. So close. So...close..._

I tried to pull out of that particular memory and shift to another but found that I couldn't. Why was Takuma showing me this memory still when all that was left was sex between him and Sara? I tried again but heard a faint, "Just watch." I settled in and watched. If he wanted to show it, I could watch.

 _Her fangs in my neck and the weight of her on my back were suddenly gone drawing a whimper from me and then she used her grip on my hair to whip me onto my back. I fell back on the ground and then she was on me. My body jerked as she ripped my t-shirt off and then she growled into my face from inches away, my blood dripping from the edges of her lips, straddling my waist and digging the gun at my lower back into me. Fear tingled through me but I stayed still, unsure of what she might do if I moved. I had started this but she would end it and the thought both terrified me and flipped my switch._

 _I stayed perfectly still as she slid down my body until she straddled my thighs. She cocked her head and fanned my ruined suit jacket out around my upper body, eyes roving over me until she stopped on my weapon. She gently ran her fingers over the Browning in the custom made holster. I stopped breathing for a moment. She moved so quickly I couldn't track the motion. She yanked my jeans down around my knees and when I looked down I saw her staring up the line of my body, muscles coiled like she was about to launch herself at me and tear the meat from my bones with her fangs like a true wild beast. Her eyes left my face and took in my hard cock, sticking up like a large exclamation point and a small helpless noise crawled up the back of my throat as she crawled slowly up my legs until I could feel her breath on the underside of me. She licked her lips and made as close a sound to a purr as I'd ever heard come out of a human throat. My body was torn between being so afraid that I could taste and feel the meaty thrum of my heart in my throat and turned on to the point of pain. My body throbbed and ached for her in more ways than one, cock bouncing with each ragged inhale. She stared into my eyes from almost an inch away from my cock and I saw that this could go either way. Even she didn't know whether violence or sex would please her more, whether she'd fuck me, or eat me. I opened my mouth, to do what I'm not quite sure, but just then she struck, sinking her fangs into my thigh, inches from the groin My mouth opened wider in a silent scream that I had no air for as my spine bowed and then my body spasmed as the wet heat of her mouth closed around me. She swallowed me down gently so as not to tear me up with her fangs, her motions, slow and painfully careful. I realized that she'd retracted her fangs as she began to suck and roll me around in her mouth. I was nearly stupid with the closeness of orgasm when she pulled away completely. I cried out in disbelief and she laughed, a dark sound that rose goosebumps all over my body._

" _Beg for me." She sucked me down again and I couldn't think. She pulled away again right when I was about to come and I nearly screamed in frustration. "Beg." I panted as I tried to relearn how to speak. Her mouth once again closed over me and my eyes fluttered back into my head, my legs and body twitching with every small movement of her mouth on me. Please. Please. Please! I realized I needed to say it aloud._

" _Please! Sara!" She laughed with me in her mouth and the vibration of it almost did me in but she pulled away again. Tears filled my eyes as my body twitched beneath her and breath was too hard to come by._

" _Now. Tell me what you are doing here in Japan?" If I'd had the air I would have screamed because I wasn't supposed to talk about what we were doing anywhere during our travels but her mouth robbed me of reason. Once again she drew me close and then stopped. "Tell me." She did that twice more, each time taking less and less time. "Tell me, my kirei." Then she swept me away again with a few draws of her mouth, once, twice._

" _PLEASE! OH GOD, SARA, PLEASE!" I screamed with what air I had._

" _Tell me and you'll get your reward." Her mouth was yet again working at me and I was completely blinded with the need to come. My body quaked for her, burning as I had never known before. When she pulled away this time my muscles actually seized and I shivered uncontrollably. "Tell. Me." She punctuated each word with a flick of her tongue along my cock._

" _Can't-" I ground out. She laughed while sucking on the head of my cock and I thought I was going to die._

" _Won't." She responded. I was helpless before her, incapable of moving even if I NEEDED to. My body was rebelling against me. I was all out crying now as she laved at me like a cat with cream._

" _Can't...breathe..." I cried out, back arching as she took all of me down her throat and held me there, digging her nails into my hips painfully to stave off the orgasm. She pulled away quickly and repeated her request._

" _Can't...think..." I gasped out._

" _Don't think. Just speak." She went to go back to me and I just couldn't._

" _Noooo..." I said on a sob. "Let me...breathe...need air...to think." She laughed and ignored me, running small strokes of her tongue along me, making my whole body twitch in response. "Yuki! Here...because of her!" I shouted. She stopped for a second and I spit out everything I could think of._

" _She got...involved...in politics with...Dai Moto. Kaname's..." She rolled her tongue around the head of me and I moaned long and low. I forced out the rest. "He wants to...supervise negotiations!" She laughed._

" _There, now. That wasn't so hard, now was it?" In that moment I hated her. She slid me slowly into her mouth and I moaned as fast as I could draw breath, her tongue swirling around and around as she slowly took me into her. I was ready to go about halfway down but she paused and all I could do was writhe. She swallowed me down her throat until her lips pressed against the skin at the base of me and she contracted her throat around me once, twice, three times. My eyes rolled back into my head and my spine bowed as the orgasm she had so long denied me whited out the world. I screamed, muscles seizing as she rolled, sucked and swallowed down everything I poured into her mouth, every movement of her mouth triggering another wave of orgasm. I screamed until I had no air and then my body took over, hands clawing at the dirt, head flung back to the heavens as every part of my body tried to free itself._

 **##################**

I ripped myself completely out of his head for a moment to give him wide eyes. Both of us were panting and sweating. I was so wet between my thighs that I knew I had physically come from the memory of his orgasm and from his half-lidded eyes and the sound of his heartbeat in my head I knew he had gone too. We both swayed on our knees but I had left the door open between us and he swept me back into his head.

 _I was bloody and broken on the ground, heaving myself to my feet on a broken knee and a dislocated shoulder. Blood poured down my face and into my eyes, blinding me, filling my nose so that I couldn't smell anything but the strong copper scent of it. I was trying to use the air around me to tell me where she was but all I could feel was the rib protruding from my stomach, the blood painting my skin with a tacky barrier between me and the world. Suddenly a sharp blow to my good knee resounded with a loud crunch. I screamed in agony as both knees met the floor, pain tearing through me like a wave of glass. Something wrapped around my throat and then I was dangling just far enough off the floor that my toes could brush it. I clawed at the thing with my one good hand, everything but the thundering sound of my heartbeat and the deafening whir of my blood disappeared as I gasped for air. My fingers tried to find something to grab onto to hoist myself up but my hands slid along the metal wire like oil on water. The wire suddenly released, dropping me to my knees again. The blinding waves of agony prevented me from breathing and I passed out._

 _I came to with a scream as a bolt of ice shot through my core. My teeth chattered and I coughed past the pressure of something around my throat. The wire that had knocked me out was the only thing that kept me from falling to the floor._

" _You are going to tell me the names of everyone within Yuki's ranks, my kirei, I don't care who or what they are. If they are working for her, I want to know. I can do this for days. Can you?" Her voice came from right in front of me and I spit a mouthful of blood at her. The high-pitched peal of outrage from her was terrifying but the terror receded on a fresh wave of a new pain as the sharp snap of my arm breaking in two places sounded._

I struggled to free myself from the memory but Takuma held me there, speeding the memory up so that it went by quicker but I still saw everything, heard every bone break, felt every pain every hopeless, helpless plea that left his lips until finally when his body had given up the fight and his mind had broken the names just poured out of his mouth. Even when he had no more to give she continued torturing him until he had resigned himself to death and only then did she stop. He moved us past that memory to the aftermath of the battle in the star dorm that had almost cost us so much, the battle that Sara had instigated. I knew that Takuma had no idea exactly what she was planning, he just knew it was going to be something big.

 _As I cleared the wreckage that was once the front door I couldn't believe what I was looking at. How? How could I let her do this? A few steps into the foyer left me on my ass in a couple inches of gore. I sat up and wiped blood that had splashed onto my face away, glaring my hatred of her into those smiling eyes. Sara was reclining casually on the steps standing when she saw that she had my attention. She walked easily in her high heel boots through all the mess to stand a few feet away. I ignored her and looked around at the carnage. It didn't seem real._

" _It is beautiful isn't it? Some of my best work yet, if I do say so myself." I sneered my disgust at her which made her laugh as she extended her hand as if to help me up. I slapped her hand away._

" _You disgust me." I spit at her._

" _Aww! You're so cute when you hate me." I shoved her away as I scrambled to my feet, looking around me._

 _Blood and thicker things painted the walls about halfway up and coated everything else until the image of being inside a human body was too close for comfort. The archway underneath the grand staircase was crumbled in upon itself, the second floor balcony was cracked all to hell and caving in in some places. There was so much gore everywhere that you couldn't see the chunks of broken and discarded weapons underfoot until you tripped on them. I stopped in my tracks, heart plummeting to my feet. I couldn't breathe as I ran through the gooey mess, tripping and sliding in my hurry to get to her. No! It couldn't be! I fell to my knees and slid to a stop next to the fallen body. My hands shook as I reached out to her, hesitating for a second before touching her. I slid my hands under, rolling her limp body into my lap. The long length of her ponytail draped across her face in a thick line, wet with all the blood. I peeled it away to find her face slack and my heart stopped beating. The world spun and my vision went red as I found Sara with my eyes standing only a few feet away, watching me with a bemused expression on her face._

" _YOU DID THIS!" I bellowed in rage. She swept a dramatic, mocking bow, a wicked smile curling her mouth into something vicious._

" _Guilty as charged." She stood straight and cocked her head to the side as she took in the room around us as if wondering how Yuki's body was the only intact one in the cluster-fuck that was the foyer. "Is she dead?"_

 _I opened my mouth to say something and stopped, looking down at the woman in my lap. I hadn't actually checked to see if she was alive. I frantically searched for a pulse, finding none. I almost threw up but forced myself instead to calm down. I listened, closing my eyes to block out the visceral imagery around me in order to focus. Getting past the smell was the hardest. With this much death and destruction the whole place reeked like a slaughterhouse crossed with an outhouse. I finally heard it, the sluggish whoomp-whoomp of her heart beating. I slumped in relief before gathering her up into my arms. I couldn't stand the thought of her laying in the disgusting pool of death that the foyer had been reduced to. Sara laughed loud and boisterously as I stood with her in my arms._

" _The bitch just doesn't know when to die!" I stared at her long and hard. If looks could kill Sara would be in indistinguishable pieces scattered among the rest of the carnage._

" _If she would have died you would have been right behind her. I promise you that, Sara." She raised an eyebrow._

" _Is that so? And who would have killed me? You?" She laughed hard enough that she had to wipe tears from her eyes. "I needed that laugh." I growled and turned my back to her, picking my way across the floor carefully so that I did not fall with Yuki in my arms._

" _Get away from here while you still can if you value your life."_

" _Your empty threats are doing nothing but pissing me off, Takuma. I'd be careful if I were you." I was on the steps now._

" _I wasn't threatening you. I don't need to. That was your warning. Others will come soon to check on their queen, among other things. They will not be as lenient as I am forced to be, of that I am positive."_

" _Ahh...so even after all this you are still trying to save me, eh? Tell me, my kirei what will it take to make you hate me? You obviously are not a good enough friend to warn them of their destruction. Don't you love them?" I stopped at the top of the stairs turning to glare at her._

" _I have tried to save you every way I can, Sara. You are beyond saving."_

" _What if I just don't feel like I need saving or want to be?"_

" _Either way. A lost cause. You cannot save those who do not wish to be saved and there is no saving the insane."_

" _I'm insane now, huh?" She was so amused._

" _Only the truly insane can act and think as you do and still believe they are sane within their own rights." She cocked her head as if kicking the idea around in her head._

" _So what if I am? Doesn't even an insane person need to be saved every once in a while?" I shook my head._

" _Make up my mind, Sara. Do you want to be saved or don't you? Regardless it does not matter because I realize now that you are a woman gone out of her mind and even if I wished to save you, I cannot. I have tried, you nor anyone else can fault me that. I have only failed because trying to rescue the insane from the depraved depths of their own mind is in and of itself insane." The smile was gone now and fury gleamed in her eyes._

" _Does that not make you the mad hatter to my cheshire cat, Takuma?" I finally conceded to myself that I had only ever deluded myself into thinking that there was something under all her insanity that could possibly be capable of loving me the way I had loved her for so many years and simply nodded._

" _I suppose it does." My voice sounded sad and defeated even to my own ears. I turned away from her and began walking down the hallway._

" _Do not walk away from me, Takuma."_

" _Heed my warning or don't. I no longer care." She was in front of me suddenly, her hair floating around her on an icy wind of her own creation._

" _Perhaps I should just finish the job while the little whore is down and out then and seal our fate." Terror ripped through me so fast it stole my breath._

" _Your fate." I mumbled._

" _You have helped me, Takuma. That makes you an accomplice and if you are found with her body would that not paint a suspicious picture?"_

" _I will not idly stand by whilst you murder, my queen. Attempt it and I will kill you or die trying."_

" _You could never stand against me. You forget. I rule you! I am your queen, Takuma! You live and die by my order! We will be insane together. Forever! There will never be another way. You are mine!" I saw in her eyes that the next time she got her hands on me I would pay for the words I had spoken. I resigned myself to my fate and drowned in hopelessness and the grief of what my dishonesty had almost cost me and the rest of the world this night as I walked down the hallway behind Sara because I did not trust her to walk behind me right now._

I drowned in dozens of memories of Sara torturing Takuma to get information since I came back to the academy. Sometimes she did not have to torture him if it the information she wanted was small enough that he didn't think it worth it to endure the pain she'd put him through. Other times he tried to resist and withhold his information but she wrung it out of him every time. She had beaten him down with a smattering of affection sprinkled among the ocean of abuse and sucked the spirit right out of him. When the last memory he showed me of her most recent attack against him played back I was as emotionally exhausted as he was.

All the encounters building up to this point showed that Takuma had fought to withhold what he knew but would at some point crack. This time was different. I felt his determination that this would be the last time she came to him for information. He would not yield, not ever again. When I felt Sara's cold fingers close around his, our, heart the one beating in my own chest shattered. He'd had enough and was ready to die. He was content with his decision to fight her unto his death because he thought this was the last time. He thought he was free finally. He boldly dared her to tear the heart she had toyed with for so long free of his chest and for just a second was triumphant over her. The dismay, rage, terror and agony that tore from his mouth in haunting peals as she implanted her magic deep within him like a ticking time bomb for another to have to endure echoed through me. She had won. Once again, Sara had won.

I ripped myself free of his mind with a scream and none of the gentleness of my entry. We both collapsed to the floor and I struggled to breath past the terrible pain in my chest. I heard people moving around the room but I didn't care to look. I sat up with a wince, rubbing my hand over my heart. Takuma was curled into a ball on the floor. Senri was only feet away, hand reached out like he was going to touch Takuma. I waved him away and watched him reluctantly fall back a few steps while glaring at me. He couldn't possibly hate me as much as I hated myself in that moment. I realized now that it probably would have been easier on the both of us if he'd just told me his story as opposed to watching it unfold and feeling it all over again. I placed my hand on his shoulder gently and his whole body jerked, drawing up into a tighter ball.

"Takuma." I heard him mumbling something to himself over and over and I leaned in to hear it.

"Please, don't hate me. Please, don't hate me. Please, don't hate me. Please, don't hate me..." I shoved the soft, fleshy part of my thumb into my mouth to stifle the sob that almost burst from it. I closed my eyes shut tight and bowed my head so that no one would see the tears pouring down my face as I tried to collect myself enough to help piece back together my friend I had just broken...again. I bit down until I tasted my own blood in my mouth, the pain helping chase back the agony a little. I released my hand and angrily swiped at my tears with the hand that wasn't dripping blood. I crawled quickly around the tiny ball he'd curled all that six feet and change of height into.

"Takuma." I called to him softly. When he didn't respond I slid my arms under his shoulders, rolling him onto his knees and he didn't fight me, but he didn't uncurl either. He stayed hunched over with his forehead on the floor. "Takuma. Look at me." I gently ran my fingers through his hair until I had a full handful to lift his face up. I saw a flash of panic in his eyes until he saw my face. Had he thought I was her? Oh gods. What had I done to him? I cradled his face in my hands and lifted it until his eyes were level with mine. I wiped the silent tears from his face with my fingers but there was so many of them that all I was really doing was spreading the wetness of them across his face.

"Please. Don't hate me, my queen." I fought down the tears that burned up the back of my throat but I couldn't stop them. I did the only thing I could think to do in that moment that would reassure him. I leaned in and kissed the tears from his eyes, kissed the saltiness of them from across his cheekbones, down his cheeks and over his jawline until I finally claimed his lips. I felt his body go still as I gave him the most gentle kiss I could ever remember having given in my life. I lingered for a second before kissing the corners of his mouth then going back to kissing him full on the lips again. His mouth opened for me without me having to ask and he began to very hesitantly kiss me back. Our kiss was slow at first, a kiss so sensual and gentle that you'd swear we were lovers, then it grew into something more where I showed him as much as I could without jumping him then and there that I treasured him. I broke the kiss first and we both sucked in huge lungfuls of air, chests heaving. His face was forcefully blank as if he wasn't sure what expression I wanted to see so he was being cautious. I placed a chaste kiss on those full, now ripe red lips.

"I do not hate you. I could not hate you if I tried, Taki." I watched his eyes flick over my face as if discerning the truth behind my words and then his bottom lip began to quiver seconds before he collapsed and began to sob. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my lap as his body heaved heart-racking sobs. Whether he cried as a release after so much abuse, relief of having someone finally know and no longer having to hide his pain or shoulder this burden alone or any combination and more I don't know. I simply pulled as much of his body into my lap as I could and held onto him, running my fingers through his hair and humming softly to him, rocking slightly back and forth. I don't know how much time passed like that but movement next to me whipped my head up and I blinked in shock to find that it was Zero who knelt beside me. He ignored me and stared down at the man in my lap. He reached his hand out, hesitating before gently touching the other man's hair. He ran his hand softly along Takuma's jawline until those giant, brilliant green eyes rolled up to look at him. Whatever he saw in Zero's eyes stole his breath.

"I don't know you very well but I am familiar with your pain." I watched his lips curl into a sincere and comforting smile. "It will not always feel like this. The pain will fade." He ran his thumb along the curve of Taki's jaw before pulling away. "I promise." Takuma stared up into Zero's eyes for a moment and then Zero stood and turned away. Both of us watched him walk over to the bed and gather the still unconscious Nekohime into his arms and walk out of the room. We stared at the closed door for a moment before Taki rested his head in my lap with a sigh. I frowned deeply as I glared at the door he'd left through. He'd said he was familiar with Takuma's pain and that it would fade. Did that mean bits of my Zero were beginning to come back? I shook free of that thought and turned my attention back to the man curled around me. He was no longer crying, eyes closed, face completely passive as if he were finally at peace.

"Thank you, my queen." I sighed and looked away from him, still running my fingers through his hair. The silence grew so thick between us that I heard his heart rate pick up.

"My queen?" I could hear just how anxious my lack of response was making him and wished I could just say that everything was going to be okay, that I'd always be here for him. I felt such a strong urge to feed him lies simply to prolong this moment of relief for him. I wanted to. I really did, but what came out was so very not comforting.

"Don't thank me yet, Takuma." His whole body went stiff against mine, singing with tension. I petted my hands along those now taught muscles. "Calm down, Takuma. I'm not going to hurt you." Intentionally, I added to myself. A knock at the door sounded before Ruka poked her head in.

"Come in, Ruka." She stepped in and quickly shut the door behind her.

"Lady Yuki."

"What is it?" I couldn't help the edge of irritation behind my question. Why was there always something else that needed fixing? Ruka either ignored my intonation or simply hadn't caught onto it.

"Prime Minister Moto is on the phone waiting to speak to you."

"About what?"

"I'm not sure, my lady, but I believe it is to discuss an urgent matter."

"Isn't it always." I muttered to myself, sighing deeply before dipping my head in acknowledgment. "Fine. Tell him I will call him back when I manage to get a moment to do so." Ruka shifted uncomfortably.

"He said he thought you might say something along those lines and told me I was to remind you that among your duties to your people you also have a duty to him, as your ally." I growled and whipped my head to face her.

"I do not have the time nor patience to deal with such petulance right now. You tell him I said he can fucking wait!" She nodded too fast and bowed deeply at the waist, a notion of submission that was not lost to me. I growled to myself and slammed my eyes shut tight, scrubbing my hands over my face as I took deep, even breaths. I kept my eyes closed and threaded my fingers back through Takuma's hair, the man now so still I could hardly feel him breathe. "I did not mean to yell at you. I apologize. Just tell Dai that I am in the middle of sorting out some major issues among my people and need a few minutes. I will get back to him as soon as I possibly can."

"Yes, my queen." A few moments passed and I did not hear her move to exit the room. I inhaled until my chest shivered from my lungs being too full before I let all that air slowly trickle free.

"What else, Ruka?"

"Headmaster Cross and Toga Yagari have also requested a brief meeting with you to address some matters pertaining the recent attack as well as issues concerning the campus itself. And I believe Lord Kuran would like a word with you as well." I scoffed. Finally, a request I could blow off. I tapped Takuma on the head softly until he looked at me, eyes uncertain.

"Come, Takuma. Let us relocate to the conference room. We have much to discuss with the others." He swallowed hard several times, eyes going wide.

"Lady Yuki, I...-" I placed a finger gently across his lips.

"Have no fear Takuma. You need only listen to what I have to say." Though you will not like it, I thought silently. He nodded and I helped him stand before Senri stepped forward and offered to help Takuma. I handed Taki over to him and began making my way to the door. I stopped in the threshold and glanced at the three of them before letting my eyes slide shut as I did something I'd only managed to do once before, and even then it had been an in the moment kind of thing.

I let my power burst free from me on a liquid tide. My magic first rushed over Senri, Takuma and Ruka and I heard them gasp, felt and saw them with a part of my mind that projected them like glowing beacons to the more rational part of my head that needed an explanation. As my magic rolled further and further out every vampire tied to me and mine popped up like glowing blips on my preternatural radar. Since all of our vampires were oathed to us with a blood bond it allowed me to find them if I knew where to look. The blood bond was an archaic practice among our people, even Kaname had given up on oathing, but it was one I had always insisted on. I used it now to call all my vampires to me by sucking that magic back to me, drawing thin lines of their auras along with the receding wave. When the last bit of my magic fell into place inside me a low bell sounded, the reverberations vibrating down those aura lines to my people and I felt them. I opened my eyes and stood straight from where I had leaned against the doorjamb for support.

"They're coming. Let us move to the conference room." I knew without looking that they were right behind me as I began walking down the hallway.

 **Kaien's POV**

I staggered and gripped the windowsill that I'd been looking out of tightly as her magic rushed over me. My head fell forward on my spine and I sucked in a sharp gasp as it molded around me. I fought against this demanding magic when I heard Kaname gasp too. I turned, plastering my back to the wall next to the window, to find Kaname down on one knee, head back as his chest heaved.

"Oh god..." He said on a low moan. The tide of her magic pull back so fast that it felt as if the powerful undercurrent of a receding wave were ripping the feet out from under you and sweeping you away with it. A piece of me followed that torrent of power and then a soft bell sounded and I could feel her coming. She was coming to us. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, finding myself on the floor. I stood up on shaky legs and found Kaname also on the floor.

"What was that?" He was breathing as if he'd run a marathon. He slowly turned his head to me and I raised an eyebrow at the swirling, brilliant red of his eyes, but it was his fangs that were distracting to me. They had grown to battle length, dropping down nearly half an inch below his chin to the point that his jaw had enlarged to accommodate such massive teeth.

"What was that, Kaname?" I repeated. He smiled and I watched some fierce emotion gleam through his eyes before I glimpsed a tiny spurt of fear.

"That was the call of the queen, _my_ queen. That was Yuki, Kaien." His voice lisped around the massive fangs. He shivered and held a hand up to me.

"Help me into one of those chairs. I can feel her getting closer and do not wish to be sitting on the floor when she arrives." I did as he asked, sitting promptly in the chair next to him.

"What is the call of the queen, exactly?" He sighed and I watched the fangs begin to retract.

"I have never felt it before because there has never been any woman that I have ever dreamed of calling queen. I have only ever heard of it from the mouths of pureblood families that reigned over their parts of the world."

"I know that the pureblood families split the world into fiefdoms in order to govern the aristocrats and B and C classes while executing level E's. It was a ploy for power as much as it was an attempt at setting up a government system for vampires."

"Yes, and it is largely successful. There are many little kings and queens, but there have only ever been two true kings and three queens."

"I don't think I quite understand." He shook his head.

"You do not make light inquiries, Kaien. This is a difficult subject to explain. I will surmise it to say that the call of a king or queen is only afforded to those who have both the power and charisma of a true monarch. Only those who follow their lord or lady out of devotion, no matter what that devotion may be, answer the call. It is called the call of the Queen or King partly because both titles are ones of love and respect among our people." I stared at him in silence for a moment and opened my mouth about to ask another question but he silenced me as the door swung open to reveal Yuki. As she swept into the room I saw behind her the faces of Senri holding Takuma, who looked a little worse for wear, with an arm around his waist and Ruka. Yuki stalked around the table to stand at the head of it where Kaname usually sat. I felt the room filling up with vampires and every single one of them had swirling red eyes. Kaname seemed not to notice or maybe he just didn't care. The only person of any interest to him was Yuki. I too found myself staring at her. Her eyes glowed so bright they cast shadows on the smooth, polished wood of the table. In just her tight black jeans and red button down she commanded my attention as if she should have been decked out in crown jewels with a throne behind her. She scanned the room with those amazing eyes of hers before she looked at me suddenly.

"Kaname. Father." Her eyes flicked further back in the room. "Toga." She addressed us before she pulled her phone out. The whole room was quiet as we listened to the ringing of a phone. The connection clicked and then a male voice came over the line. She took the phone away from her ear and put it on speaker.

"Finally! It is about time Yuki! Have you any idea what I've been going through over here, I mean you just would not believe the-"

"Dai." She spoke his name with authority without needing to raise her voice and the man fell silent.

"What has happened?" He knew without needing Yuki to say anything more than his name that something was up. The man was smart and clearly the two of them were a perfectly compatible pair.

"I have Lord Kuran, Headmaster Kaien Cross and all of my vampires with me as we speak. I have put you on speakerphone because a matter has risen which requires everyone's attention."

"It must be of grave importance if you are allowing me to listen in on such things." Yuki's lips quirked up into a small, wry smile.

"Yes. I fear it is." No one said a word as we all waited for her to continue. Finally she sighed deeply and looked around the room, her eyes settling on one person in particular.

"You understand what I have to do here, Takuma?" I turned my head to see him look to the ground at his feet, nodding slightly. When I turned back Yuki was staring blankly at her phone on the table. "I am sorry, my friend."

"Yuki, you cannot possibly have gathered us here for what I think you intend?" Kaname finally spoke. Her eyes turned to him and anger danced within their glowing depths.

"And why not?" He opened his mouth but she shook her head. "Just shut up." She stood a little straighter and let her eyes rove over the vampires in the room.

"Many of you are new to this job. I'm not sure most of you understood the level of danger you were signing on for when you agreed to become members of our forces. I even suspect that you may have thought we were kidding when I told you this life of politics is closer to some macabre mash up between war and Hollywood glamor. It's not all it has cracked up to be, eh?" A light wave of laughter went through the room.

"But I did warn you and still you signed on. You oathed yourselves to us and pledged away your freedom under our sovereign rule." She shook her head and chuckled slightly. "And what fools you are for it." She dissolved into a fit of laughter that had some people shifting nervously and others smiling along with her.

"Yuki, what is the-" She held up a hand for silence and righted herself. When she spoke her eyes were stone cold, as if the laughter had never been.

"Very few of you are left that have been with us from the start of this campaign. You are testament to the savagery of the resistance against our cause." Her eyes went one by one to the handful of whom she referred to before she once again looked to the rest of them. "We have lost an unimaginable number of comrades, confidants and brothers in arms to our fight and I have never in my life been more tempted to simply give up." Everyone in the room shuffled and shifted, the air filling with gasps, sharp inhales and a few grunts.

"Yes. I admit to wanting to throw my hands up and say fuck it. Fuck it all. Because I am tired of seeing my people slaughtered, tired of mourning, of washing away the blood of my people from weapons, skin and floor." She shook her head and bowed it, leaning her hands on the table. "But here I am, in yet another position where I am forced to ask you once again to risk everything for us."

"Yuki, please. We need to talk about this before-" She growled at him.

"I am not finished yet, Kaname." He fell silent and simmered in a quiet rage.

"One female vampire known as Sara Shirabuki has announced herself our enemy and has declared war on Kaname and myself. She has thrice attacked us, having admitted to being the primary conspirator behind two of these attacks. Twice has she almost cost us the lives of two of our comrades who stand among you now as well as the life of Lord Kaname and myself. She has tortured our people and is to blame for the deaths of countless others. On top of all of this she has a long and rather intricate history of murder, deceit and luxuriating in the grotesque arts of torture. You know what she wants. She wants my position, she wants to rule as I do." She took a long, deep breath that shuddered as it came out. "In the light of full disclosure I have to admit that Sara offered me a deal." This earned more muttering and Kaname sat forward a little in his chair. Did he not know this?

"She came to me in the aftermath of the battle of the Star dorm proposing that no one else had to die if I resigned as queen and allowed her to fill my place by Kaname's side. I refused. I would not see my people led by a mad-woman. I couldn't stand to see everything we have done, everything we have lost to be undone under the chaos of a lunatic." She stared defiantly at the farthest wall in silence for a few moments letting all the information sink in. "You can damn me if you wish. Sometimes I question the wisdom of decisions that I have made, but that is not one. Nor do I regret the decision I am about to make."

"Stop! Just stop! I see where this is going, Yuki." Dai's voice came loud and clear over the phone and I think we all had forgotten he was listening because all eyes snapped to the phone. "You cannot do this just now."

"I have to. Sara Shirabuki _must_ die. She has declared herself an enemy of the crown, as you humans like to say, and committed multiple acts of treason for which the punishment is death in any country around the world."

"I understand your reasons but-"

"Do you? Maybe you'd understand if I put it on a larger scale for you. She is guilty even of violating the laws of war by taking my people as prisoners of war in order for her to _declare_ war. You did not see the state she left my people in! You have not seen the bodies pile up around us, bodies of _my friends_ , of _my_ people!" Her eyes were wild with the rage that was elongating her fangs.

"You are quite emotional and you have more than enough reason to be but listen to me. You must be patient. There is a time for everything and now is not the time for this." He spoke quickly, more than likely to avoid interruption again, but his voice was otherwise much calmer than it had been when he'd first answered the call.

"If you are implying that I am letting my emotions cloud my judgment I can assure you that my judgment is quite clear."

"Your argument is rational and I am not saying she does not need to die for her crimes. I am saying your timing is off."

"I understand what he is trying to say." My voice came out a bit louder than I wanted it to but the second her swirling red eyes came to rest on me I slightly regretted having spoken up. I cleared my throat and sat forward a bit in my chair.

"You are already fighting the humans to recognize vampires and give them rights among other things. You are also fighting the vampires and vampire hunters who would sooner see you dead than see you succeed. Wars fought on _two_ fronts result in defeat. You cannot possibly hope to win a war fought on three, or would that be _four_ , fronts. You are strong and ambitious, my dear, but you mustn't let this be the demise of us all. We do not have the resources or the manpower to win against such odds."

"And if news gets out about the vampires and hunters fighting among themselves what do you think that will do to the clout you and Kaname have managed to gain among other human political leaders." Yuki's eyes narrowed on the phone at Dai's words. I was about to open my mouth to say something to quiet her anger but Kaname beat me to it.

"The humans have fought among themselves and racked up a body count so high that even the gods have wept at such destruction. But they have never seen vampires fight. If they were to witness the skill, powers and abilities that many of us fight with they would run in terror and everything we have done would be for naught." The wood of the table cracked where Yuki had a death grip on it and if she was breathing I couldn't tell. Oh shit. This was not good!

"Do you think I relish the idea of signing my people up for yet another fucking war? Do you think I _want_ this?" Her voice was low, a growl curling the edges of her words into something dangerous. "Six years. It has been nearly six years we have been locked in war with those who oppose us and we have steadfastly taken on all-comers: human, vampire and hunter alike. I have accepted that this is the price we have to pay for being the monster coming out of the closet and an end does not appear to be in sight. We might be warring like this for many, many, many years yet. So, when do we have time, manpower or resources to address the mutinous bitch that keeps kicking in our defenses, thinning our ranks and making our already long-suffering people tremble under her torturous ways? What do you propose we do? Wait until she kills me and countless numbers of our people and takes the fucking throne!?" The room was so quiet that only Yuki's labored breathing could be heard. Her hair floated around her on a wind of her own creation, eyes glowing, fangs slightly elongated. She lifted her hands into the air, palm up, in an all encompassing gesture as she raked the room with her eyes.

"If anyone has any suggestions speak now, because there is no rule in any fucking book that dictates how to handle a situation like this. I am at a loss as to what to do. Someone, anyone, please, tell me what I should do if you have a better idea." Everyone was stock still and no one even breathed, let alone took her up on her offer. She was right. Sara's rule, if she were to ever be allowed such a privilege, would most assuredly be the destruction of us all. I felt tears burn up the back of my throat as I watched my precious Yuki search the faces of the vampires in the room one by one, almost desperately until she came to rest on me. My heart hurt at the look of defeat and regret I saw momentarily in her eyes before she once again stared out at the room with resolve I knew she didn't feel. I wished with everything in me that I had another solution to offer her that didn't involve violence

"It is settled then. As of right now I, Yuki Cross," I saw Kaname stiffen beside me at the noticeable use of her surname as opposed to his name, "Lady of the vampires, declare that I and anyone who chooses to follow me are hereby at war with Sara Shirabuki who has attempted regicide a number of four times and is found guilty of treason of the highest order, the punishment for which is death. Any and all who stand in her defense will be found guilty of treason by association as confidants and co-conspirators. There will be no mercy for anyone who stands as obstacle against my decree. Anyone who wishes to challenge my decree you are free to do so right now or forever hold your peace."

"Yuki, this is a bit harsh not to mention rash, don't you think?" She turned to glare at Kaname and smiled slightly.

"No, I do not. I think it's just desserts." No one else spoke up and after several minutes she nodded just once.

"Then if there are no contestations my decree is official. Sara Shirabuki will die either by my or any hand of which I control. I have spoken thus is it law." Kaname started to stand and say something but I grabbed his arm and held him still until he turned to glare holes through me. I was not fazed but instead whispered fast and low to him.

"Keep your mouth shut. Time for dispute is over. It is too late." Yuki's voice rang loud and clear, whipping both our heads around.

"As a compromise to accommodate the issues of resources and manpower as pointed out by...my advisers, I have decided to delegate. Kaien Cross, as the headmaster and founder of Cross academy and the Executive Minister of outreach and relations for HAVAV you are delegated the task of maintaining the PR and communications in and around the academy, this includes any and all press conferences concerning the academy, as well as attending to your regular duties as Headmaster. Do you object?" I shook my head with a soft smile, happy to see that Yuki was learning that ruling did not mean having to attend to everything personally, and terribly saddened by the conditions under which she was forced to learn this lesson. She seemed to be waiting for a verbal response from me.

"Not at all, my queen." Her face fell into a slight frown at the title which made me smile. I knew she hated it when I addressed her as such but in professional situations such as this I had no idea what to call her except by her title. She turned to Kaname beside me.

"Kaname Kuran, Lord of the vampires to my Lady and my partner in the founding, development and maintenance of CVHR to you I delegate the task of continuing to appeal to the human politicians as you have been doing. Use any methods short of ones that will instigate war in order to sway them to our cause. This of course, as you know, entails quite a bit of danger as well as press exposure and conferences. You may recruit in your travels to your heart's content as long as you follow the recruiting protocol. Objections?" He frowned at her like he was contemplating what he should or shouldn't say in the moment before he spoke.

"Who can I take with me in my travels?" Somehow I had expected him to be less adult about this.

"Ask me that again later after I am finished here." She turned again to Zero. "Zero Kiryu and Toga Yagari to you I-"

"I have not said I am staying among your ranks." We all turned to the tall, dark and daunting hunter posted against the furthest wall, arms crossed, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. Yuki was quiet for a moment before responding.

"I apologize for the assumption. Do you intend to stay with us or leave?" He stared at her long and hard for a few moments and Yuki never flinched, she just calmly stared back.

"I suppose I could hang around for a while. It looks like you could use all the hands you can get." Yuki dipped her head graciously. "Besides, I always kill more vampires when I'm around you." Several people shifted uncomfortably at this but Yuki laughed, an abrupt and loud sound.

"You have my most sincere gratitude. Your skills will be of great benefit to me and mine." She cleared her throat before continuing. "Toga. Zero. To you I give the tasks of training everyone within our ranks, no vampire or human is barred from this. Training is hereby mandatory. You will also be responsible for recruiting and maintaining the academy's perimeter and other security measures."

"That is quite a lot for just the two of us."

"I do not care how you divvy the tasks up between you as long as you get it done and vigilantly stand by your jobs. They are very important." Toga stared steadily at her for a moment.

"Having another person to aide in the tasks you have delegated to us would be most beneficial since, as you said, they are very crucial." Yuki chewed her lip, a gesture common to her as one of thoughtfulness, for a few moments before dipping her head.

"Who would you want?" He glanced around the room, analyzing those present.

"Your ranks have changed much since last I was among them. I would like the opportunity to see them in the training ring before I make my decision." She nodded.

"Done. You and Zero will effectively be operating as the heads of security for Cross academy and only myself and Headmaster Cross will outrank you. Am I clear?" They both nodded.

"Perfectly." Zero said.

"Understood." Toga mumbled around his cigarette. Her eyes shifted again as she nodded and she opened her mouth about to speak before I interrupted her.

"I have said it before and I will say it again, Yuki. This is a school founded on principals of peace between vampires and humans. I will not tolerate it being used like a military compound." My voice rang loud and clear, unyielding. Yuki turned thoughtful eyes to me.

"He is correct, little queen. If your political campaign is to be taken seriously this is a matter which if revealed to the press could destroy you."

"Yes, we cannot have the Academy act as the cornerstone of our campaign while also treating it as a base of operations." Kaname too pitched in his opinion.

"This academy _is_ , for all intents and purposes, the 'base of operations' for us. It _is_ where we have chosen to center our campaign and as such requires a certain level of militarism. For our student's protection we must maintain guard against those who would seek to destroy us at our core."

"I have never disputed the need to defend the academy from the outside world. It is a necessity, now more than ever, unfortunately. However, I cannot allow you to treat these grounds as if they were a boot-camp for your soldiers. That would go against the foundational principals I have upheld since I built this school." I felt the warmth of anger stirring in me as her eyes calmly took in my demeanor.

"This _would_ be a hell of a thing to have the media blow up in our face, Yuki." Dai this time. Yuki stared at me for a few moments in which everyone seemed to be waiting to see what she would do.

"I hear you, headmaster. You have proposed another conundrum for me to think upon."

"This is not a request, Yuki. You will not be permitted to treat my academy however you please. This is _my_ verdict." She blinked at me and I felt the tension rise in the room while returning my own unwavering gaze.

"Now, headmaster, I would ask that you remain calm-"

"No, Dai. Headmaster Cross is right." The politician fell silent once again. I dipped my head in acknowledgment of her concession.

"Thank you for understanding, my queen." I saw the skin flinch around her eyes but she nodded before smiling softly, though I could see exhaustion in the fake happiness she offered me.

"This academy was your dream long before it was ever mine, father. I would not trample upon it. I will think upon what you have said." I smiled brilliantly at her, heart all a flutter in my chest as she acknowledged me as her father, which she so rarely did these days.

"Oh, Yuki!" I heard both Kaname and Zero groan at my exclamation that made Yuki clear her throat but earned me an embarrassed smile before she went back to business.

"Ruka Souen, your skills and experience in combat are indisputably impressive. However, in regards to your current state I am removing you from any potentially combative situation. As you have proven yourself adept at such things in the past you are hereby designated to be event coordinator. This task includes but is not limited to the fashion, location, decoration, make-up and anything else that goes into making events ranging from press conferences, political balls and even school dances a success. Again, you defer only to myself or headmaster Cross."

"So, what? Because I'm knocked up I'm now useless?" The scorn in Ruka's voice was thick enough that you could cut it with a knife. I cringed a little at the tone and wanted to go to her and wrap her in my arms. Then I realized just how much worse that might make the whole situation and it became a lot easier to ignore the urge.

"You are far from useless. There is a near constant stream of events going on so you should almost always have something to do, if you fear getting bored, and I have seen no one else with a more keen eye for such things. You know as well as I just how important these events are to our cause. Do not criticize it." Ruka looked like she was going to say more but then she snapped her mouth shut and simply persisted to look thoroughly annoyed. Yuki ignored her and looked back to Kaname.

"I would designate someone within your own ranks to manage the fashion front, Kaname. Perhaps with her background as an idol you would find Rima to be of great use?" He nodded.

"Agreed."

"I would stay here with...you." Rima said. I sighed and shook my head.

"I know you would prefer to stay with Senri, Rima, and I hate to keep separating you two but it is out of necessity that I do so until we have increased our ranks."

"She is correct, Rima. We simply do not have enough people to afford the luxury of taking everyone's preferences into account." Rima turned and pointed viciously at Toga.

"But he gets the pick of the litter for a _third_ member for his tasks?!" I felt the temperature drop and Yuki's voice rolled through the now chilly air of the conference room.

"Toga will be choosing only from those who are left after we have discerned who is going with Kaname and who is staying with me. He _does not_ have the pick of whoever he wants. You have traveled far and often with Kaname and like it or not we all have to do things we do not want. Separating you from Senri is not my idea of a good joke, this is not pleasurable or funny for me. It is necessity. Suck it the fuck up."

"What is your purpose in keeping Senri with you instead of sending him with Kaname?" The window Rima was standing in front of shattered outwards making the petulant woman leap forward with a squeal before bowing at the waist and staying there.

"I will not repeat myself again, Rima. Question me once more on the topic and I assure you I will answer with less patience than the former two times."

"Understood. My apologies, my lady."

"Why, if _I_ may ask, are you keeping Senri here?" Kaname asked. I heard the table groan as the pressure in the room dropped again making my ears pop. Yuki took several deep breaths before answering.

"When Ruka gets to a point where she needs bed rest more than anything else there is only one person I can think to take over for her." He nodded and sat back in his chair as if he understood perfectly. Yuki delegated a few more tasks before Takuma asked the sixty-four thousand dollar question.

"And what do you task yourself with, my queen?" She stared at him for several minutes before sitting down in the chair she had neglected through the entire meeting. I knew before she spoke why she'd finally chosen to sit.

"I am going to hunt down and kill Sara Shirabuki." The room exploded into chaos. Even Kaname was yelling now. I stayed calmly in my seat, frowning at the quiet and oddly patient look on Yuki's face as she let everyone yell around her, eyes taking it all in.

"Preposterous!"

"You cannot hunt in your condition if Ruka is removed from combat for the very same!"

"You are our queen! Queens don't fight their own battles!"

"You cannot seriously put yourself at risk for vengeance!"

"You risk us all by risking yourself!"

The onslaught of outraged comments just kept on rolling and all Yuki did was sit there and watch it all. After more than ten minutes and two almost fights among the vampires Yuki finally held up a hand for silence. I saw her lips move but could not hear her over all the commotion. When words weren't working she decided to use a different method. The air suddenly scorched along our skin as if for just a moment were were all burning. The pain of it drew a yelp from myself and many others. All of us, rubbing our hands along our skin, turned to face her where she calmly sat in her chair, fingers steepled against her chin, watching us.

"That hurt, Yuki!" I cried, trying to rub away the awful sensation. Her eyes flicked over to me and I saw nothing friendly in them. I sank back into my chair and found Kaname doing the same thing. He met my eyes and for a moment both of us were on the same wave length. This was no longer the Yuki we had known only a handful of years ago. This Yuki was not to be trifled with. I whipped my head around when I saw her rising once again, hands flat on the table top. Her eyes scanned the room with a bold challenge in them.

"I understand that you might disagree with my decree and I have sat and let you yell your protests. I hear you. But my word still stands." Several people bristled and she made it a point of flicking her eyes to each one of them before continuing. "I am well aware that I am with child. That fact will not prevent me from hunting Sara." Quite a few people began speaking at once in protest but she silenced them with a hand and a slight drop in the temperature as a metaphysical warning to hold their tongue.

"I will hunt her. I never said I was going to go into combat to do as such. I am removing myself from combat as well." A whir of relieved voices went through the room and Yuki simply talked over them. "I thought when I first became the Lady of the vampires that the best way to lead was through example. I would not ask my people to do anything I would not do myself. This was the code I operated under. It was only recently that I learned that a Lady that rules from the front lines is risking her people as much as she is saving them." She bowed her head and continued speaking. "I would fight beside all of you if it meant that I could be there to save even one of you." My eyes teared up and I had to bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling. The pain in Yuki's voice was palpable. She hated sending her people to die without being there to lead them. She shook her head and stood ram rod straight and her eyes were a swirling red so bright that the pale skin of her face and neck reflected the cast-off light.

"I wish I _could_ be among you to hunt this _bitch_ , to see her face when her final judgment sweeps down on her. Believe me, I would have the head of anyone who dared kill a one of you." She shook her head. "But I cannot. Not personally. I will be your Lady, your commander in chief, and as such I ask you all now, who will be my general? Which of you will lead our people into battle in my stead?" I stared around the room with her and bit my lip just a bit harder, wishing slightly that I could accept the offer she extended. Not a single person moved for a few moments and then two moved at once. I watched as Twister and Hanabusa stepped forward but it was the last man that stepped up a moment behind them that made my jaw drop. Yuki eyed the three men, stopping on the last.

"You surprise me, Sayer." The man in question was the quietest and most enigmatic among the entirety of the vampires. As far as I knew he had been on Yuki's service since she'd been back in Japan. I wasn't quite sure how he had come to join her but there he was.

"I could say the same of you, my lady." His voice was a deep and enchanting melody and half of his mouth twisted into a partial smile. Everyone stared in awe at the first words I think most, if not all, of us had ever heard him speak, taken aback by the wonder of his voice as well as the circumstance that finally made the man known as Mute contradict his nickname. When I looked back to Yuki I found one corner of her mouth quirked up in a small smile to echo his. Twister chuckled deeply and shook his head before stepping back among the throng. Hanabusa eyed the movement and then he went back to looking at Sayer who only had eyes for Yuki, who was watching the exchange intently. Whatever Hanabusa saw in Sayer was enough for him to smile widely before bowing his head and stepping back with a dramatic sweep of his arm in indication for Sayer to step forward. The quiet man eyed both men before looking back to Yuki who was grinning now. I frowned. What the hell had I missed?

"Well Sayer, it would appear that your nomination as general is uncontested." The man grinned to match Yuki making me frown deeper. She nodded.

"Does _my queen_ approve of me as her general?" He emphasized her title as if implying that he could give two shits about any approval but her own. Yuki laughed.

"She does. Though leading requires quite a bit of talking." She said while smiling. Sayer simply fell with liquid grace to one knee, bowing his head deeply.

"I will serve you with all the honor I possess unto my death." She frowned slightly but nodded, not that he could see the motion, before she spoke.

"Rise, Sayer, as the general to the Lady of the vampires." He stood as smoothly as he'd fallen, like water pouring upward, and raised his face until he could look at her.

"I rise, honored, as general to the _queen_ of the vampires." An appreciative murmur went through the room and then I watched with teary eyes as one by one everyone in the room began putting fists over their hearts and bowing their heads. When my eyes came back to Yuki I saw her with an odd expression somewhere between awe and pure terror. Her eyes were brimming with tears, of which she let a single one slip, quickly swiping it away before everyone lifted their heads. She dipped her head regally now that they could all see her, acknowledging the honor they had all just bestowed upon her.

"Now that we have that settled, I think it's about time we figure out what Mr. Moto called us for." Kaname's voice wasn't loud but it carried the hint hint of anger pretty well, at least to me. Yuki looked at him for a few heart beats before nodding, ignoring his obvious though unexplainable anger. She looked back at the room full of vampires and addressed them.

"You may all be excused. Except for you Takuma, Senri, Zero and Toga. We have some things to clarify yet." As everyone was shuffling out Dai spoke up again.

"You may wish to keep Ruka on hand as well." Yuki sighed and motioned for Ruka to come forward. Kaname nor myself made any move to exit since we both figured us staying was expected without having to ask. When everyone was gone Kaname spoke.

"Why are Senri and Takuma here?" I watched Yuki exchange a long and knowing look with Takuma that made me raise my eyebrows.

"They are staying because I wish to address them more privately."

"M'lady-" Takuma began with wide eyes before Yuki cut him off.

"I know, Taki. I did not address what I have learned this night publicly for a good reason. However, you have become a liability that must be managed." Takuma flushed a deep red and bowed his head, looking at the floor. I saw the look of hurt flash through Yuki's eyes that was gone almost as fast as it came before she continued. "Takuma, you're job is to remain at my side and guard me at all times. Any time you are not with me, you will be with Senri." Senri looked stricken at the news.

"But my queen, why me?" She looked at him as if attempting to find an answer that would make sense to him before simply waving the question away.

"Because you are his friend and I said so. You two may leave now." Takuma didn't say anything or even look up from the floor. He simply turned and made his way out of the room. Ruka was frowning at Yuki almost as hard as I was. It appeared that she had put Takuma under constant surveillance. Why? Senri looked like he wanted to say something but he bowed his head instead and mumbled a brief goodbye before ducking out of the door. She stared at the door for a few moments before turning to address the rest of us.

"What was that about?" Yuki shook her head.

"Later, Kaname." He narrowed his eyes but turned to face the phone on the table as if the man were sitting in person.

"Go on, Mr. Moto." The man chuckled before clearing his throat.

"You always have the most intense shit going on." His voice was thick with laughter that the gleam in Yuki's eyes certainly did not appreciate.

"Speak quickly, Dai. My patience is threadbare tonight."

"After all that I would imagine so." She growled softly.

"Okay, okay! Yeesh!" I could almost see the push away gesture that came with the sarcasm that barely covered the panic beneath. Then he began. "If your night is going terribly this is not going to make things better for you, Yuki."

"Just spit it out, Dai."

"Fine. The press is going bat shit. They want answers, a lot of them. Like, what the hell is going on with the vampires that the gates to the academy, that you swore was being protected, were blown all to hell and back? Or, why both Yuki and Kaname are holed up at the academy like it is a bunker when it is supposed to be a school? My personal favorite is the question of whether the two of you are getting a divorce since you have split your separate ways in politics." Yuki ignored the question by soldiering on, but Kaname went deathly still next to me, staring at her without even blinking as if she might answer the question here and now. I fought not to simply shake him and yell in his face that clearly Yuki was done with him. Even if I understood what had happened I still agreed with Yuki on this one. I wanted as any father does to see my daughter happy. Clearly she would not find that happiness with Kaname. Yuki spoke in a calm voice.

"I assume that you are about to propose a press conference."

"Yes, one which You, Kaname and Cross should all attend." Yuki was blinking quietly at the phone.

"Understood. When are you setting this conference for?" Kaname spoke smoothly and Yuki's eyes alone snapped over to look at her husband and I shifted in my seat to hide my discomfort at the hollow look within them.

"Tonight has been one of many revelations for all of us. However, I feel the need to add another to the list." Kaname's knuckles cracked from squeezing his fists so tight and Yuki simply shifted her eyes back to the phone. "As soon as I am able I have the full intention of stepping down as Lady of the vampires. You shouldn't bank on reassuring the public with or of my marriage to Kaname." Dai was silent for a handful of moments before he suddenly went off on a very colorful tangent in rapid Japanese.

"This is terrible timing Yuki. You have to reconsider this."

"I have made my decision."

"Well, make another one dammit!" He shouted. Yuki raised an eyebrow but I could see the anger in her eyes.

"My marriage is my own to dissolve if I wish."

"You are a politician. You have to see what this decision will do to your career."

"I cannot bring myself to care." Her voice was completely devoid of any emotion. "I never cared for politics."

"But do you care for the cause? You said earlier that you were tired of your people dying, even pointing out how much you have already lost. If you really care about that loss you will not undo it by keeping to this decision." I watched her eyes flare red before she closed them and began breathing slowly. "You have also just used your position to declare a war against this Sara bitch. Your people are loyal to you, Yuki. If you step down they will go with you and your people will surely die."

"He's right. Now is not the time for such decisions. It is a blatant fact that a politician's success may boil down to marriage status. Neither Kaname nor you may succeed in politics if you divorce. You must remain as you are, a united front for the world to draw from." Toga's voice was calm and solid.

"And what of our partnership? Our fight to gain vampires rights including marriage? The entire rights campaign hinges upon your union with Kaname. You two are the staple of the movement."

"Enough." Yuki's voice came out a low hiss, silencing whatever Dai had been about to say. "You have made your point in spades."

"Thank you." She ignored him.

"Set up the conference and we will be there." No one argued. "Is that all?"

"There are a few things I would like to discuss with you in person after the conference."

"Done. Anything else?"

"I would like to consult with Ruka over the upcoming charity ball for HAVAV." Yuki said nothing and Ruka cleared her throat being brave and stepping up to bat.

"I would be more than happy to help you any way I can. I have your email as well as your number. I will call you to discuss things a bit later."

"Excellent. I will be talking to you ladies later then."

"Indeed." Yuki leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes and waved a hand at the phone which promptly exploded. The rest of us ducked to avoid the android shrapnel. I eased myself from my knees to my feet to see Yuki standing slowly as if she were drugged.

"You are dismissed, Ruka." Ruka's eyes were wide at the unusual display of anger but she quickly bowed before fleeing the room without a word.

"That was a bit unnecessary don't you think?" Kaname's voice was so calm. The wood of the table groaned as frost began creeping up from Yuki's end. Fucking Kaname! I glared at the mocking smile on his face as he said, "Temper, temper, dear."

"Eat me." Her voice was dead-pan as she flipped him the finger without looking at him.

My jaw dropped and Toga made a small choking noise. Zero outright laughed earning a flat look from Yuki. The usual snow white pale of Zero's skin was flushed a lovely pink as he nearly doubled over with laughter, shaking his head and holding out a single hand, the other wrapped around his stomach, as if saying _"Please don't kill me! I can't help it!"_ Toga took a step away from the younger hunter but had his hand over his mouth like he too was stifling a laugh and Zero was not helping. I looked back to Yuki. She was watching the two men with a blank face.

"Go ahead. Yuk it up." Zero was breathless with laughter for about another minute and change before he finally stopped. It was only then that Yuki spoke.

"Takuma is not to be trusted with vital information. I am ordering that guard rotation be changed every week. No one is to guard any one place or person for any substantial period of time. He will remain at my side so that I know what he _is_ exposed to. When I attend to crucial matters he will be with Senri." There was no smiling or laughing now.

"Would you have us guard Senri when Takuma is with him?" Toga asked

"No, we do not have the man power to spare for such things. Takuma would never harm Senri and if Sara makes a move on either of them I will know."

"What do you mean he can't be trusted?" Kaname asked.

"Did I stutter? I thought I was pretty clear." Kaname sat down in his chair with a low growl. There seemed to be a lot of that going around tonight.

"I heard what you said. I ask what brings you to this conclusion?" She froze then and seemed to be contemplating how much to tell him. Kaname slammed his hand into the table hard enough to make the whole thing shake. "Dammit, Yuki! This is stuff I need to know and the exact thing that pisses me off. All your fucking secrets!" Her eyes glowed so bright they cast shadows and I watched her fangs protrude a bit.

"Do not talk to me about _secrets_ and deceit. I am not withholding this information for you. I do it to defend a man we both cherish. Believe it or not, Kaname, you are not at the center of every decision I make."

"No. Quite the contrary." She shook her head and smiled, a gesture made to look genuinely terrifying because of the eyes and fangs. Both hunters stiffened.

"I will not debate with you about such things as who is to blame for what. It no longer matters. What matters is how we work as lord and lady, not husband and wife. My decision about Takuma is because of the information I have recently obtained revealing some...rather damning things about his relationship with Sara."

"We have always known about their relationship."

"No. You have." Her voice was thick with accusation. "Information you didn't care to share."

"Like you didn't care to tell me about your encounter with Sara in the first place?" She was quiet for a handful of moments that I spent wondering what was about to happen while Kaname simmered with rage next to me.

"Fair enough." My eyes widened and all the warmth of his anger faded away as if she had taken all the wind out of his sails.

"S-Seriously? You aren't going to argue with me?" She looked pointedly at him, cocking her head slightly.

"What is there to argue about? You are right. I don't argue over things uselessly."

"And I do? That's what you're saying, right?" I sighed and closed my eyes. Always. Why did he always have to take it that extra step. He couldn't just leave an implication at just that. No. He had to be a child about it.

"You, Dai and my father have all managed to put me in place with points that I might have ignored otherwise. Now let me return the favor. I might have to remain married to you, but I do not have to like it. Let me be very clear, I will remain your wife for legalities and politics and do everything necessary to help our people as Lady of the vampires. I _do not_ have to like it, and believe me...I _don't_. We don't work as a couple but we have to work as a team. So, grow the fuck up." His anger flared so hot I scooted away from him.

"You-"

"You, what? Bitch? Yeah. I am, but you are as stuck with me as I am with you. We don't get along, I don't like you and you are a pain in my ass! But I am asking that for the sake of our people that you and I _both_ work on our communication. Our personal and work life need to remain separate. Keep as many personal secrets as you like but stop hiding shit I need to know for politics and our people and I will do the same." He simmered at her without a word long enough that I thought he was just going to blow up.

"Fine." She nodded and the tension level in the room dropped.

"Thank you." She looked at the other two men and opened her mouth to speak but Kaname beat her to it.

"What of our child?" She didn't even look at him as she simply began walking toward the door. "Yuki?" She flung open the door.

"This meeting is over." She called back before she disappeared through the door. We all looked at Kaname who was standing with his hands on the table, glaring at the open doorway, eyes red, fangs elongated and body shaking as if he were tempted to go after her. Zero suddenly stepped directly in Kaname's line of sight, legs apart as if ready to take a hit or give one.

"I don't know you that well but I do know you won't look after her like that around me." I was so surprised that I almost laughed. Still defending her. Even if he had no memories of her, seeing him stand there like that in her defense warmed my heart. The wood of the table exploded where his hands had been, the two now separate ends falling to the floor as wood chips rained down. Toga popped up off the wall from where he'd casually been leaning at the same time that I moved, putting myself in Kaname's path. He was going for Zero.

"Always in the way!" He lisped around nearly three inch fangs. I held my hand out, knowing he wasn't talking about me but rather the man behind me.

"Stop, Kaname. If you wish to harm him you will have to go through me." Kaname came to an abrupt stop.

"This is the second time in as many days that you have stood before me like this. You might want to reconsider finding yourself in this position, Cross."

"Stop putting me in positions like this and I won't have to." Kaname stepped up to me until our chests brushed each other with every inhale. I stared into his face from less than three inches away. He was breathing heavily, his magic swirling around us so that our hair danced across our skin. Man was he pissed. I stood boldly in the face of that rage, never flinching. His eyes flicked down to my neck. Was that what had put him on edge? I lifted my hand and pulled the lapel of my pale blue button down to the side until my collarbone was exposed. When his eyes followed the motion I turned my head slightly to the side so that I was still able to see him but providing a better striking angle and a more tantalizing view.

"Go ahead, if that's what you want." It was harder for vampires to control their emotions when they didn't feed regularly. I didn't know when last he had fed but if giving a little blood would defuse the situation it was a small price to pay.

"I hear my blood has quite a kick to it though so you may not want the audience." His eyes were solidly on my neck so I took a gamble, leaning into him until our chests were flush and turning my head to the side a bit more in invitation. His hand wrapped around my throat and faster than I could blink I was slammed back against the wall beside the door. I was left looking at the elegant cursive words engraved on the side of the Bloody Rose aimed solidly at Kaname's head and down the arm of Zero to see a look on his face something close to disgust and pure hatred.

"Zero, don't." I said, feeling the tension in Kaname's body against mine. Toga stepped up beside Zero placing his hand on the younger hunter's forearm, easing the gun towards the floor. Those beautiful lilac eyes filled with confusion.

"You sure about this, Cross?" Toga's voice was wary but I knew if I said no he'd get Kaname away from me one way or another. I offered them a soft smile, winking at Zero before turning my head so that Kaname's attention stayed on my throat beneath his hand. I certainly had his attention because I felt the rumble of his growl in his chest against mine and along my neck where I felt his fangs scrape as he opened his mouth wide.

I knew the strike was coming and closed my eyes, letting my body go loose against his so the initial bite didn't hurt too much. I vaguely heard Toga saying something before Kaname plunged his fangs into my neck. My body tensed on it's own and I made a small noise at the pain. No one seems to think about just how painful it would be for someone to bite into them until they bled and then suck at the wound. Thankfully the endorphins kicked in pretty quickly. I let Kaname wrap his arms around me. When he tried to sink his hand into my hair he realized it was pulled back in a tight ponytail and settled for holding my head. He moaned and sank his fangs in deeper, pushing me back into the wall with his weight. I gasped and dug my fingers into his waist. It wasn't my first rodeo but it had been a while since I had fed a vampire and I'd forgotten just how potent the endorphins were. We were pushed together in a solid line so that I could feel how my blood effected him from the hard length pushed into my hip and knew he could feel mine too. I tried to ignore the pleasure and the sounds Kaname was making. It was pretty standard knowledge that the feed was a double edged sex weapon which required a great deal of comfort with sex to submit to it. I tightened my hold on his waist, breathing heavily as that great weight began to build deep within me.

"Stop-" I gasped as he jerked me violently against himself, lifting me up so that I was on my tip toes and digging his fangs in deeper. If I fought him it would only make the situation worse and I knew he couldn't drain me dry. No vampire could drain someone. Their stomachs simply couldn't hold that much blood. It was the orgasm I was trying to avoid. It was always just a bit awkward when you came in someone's arms who wasn't your lover and Kaname and I would never be that.

"Kaname, s-stop-" I groaned out as my body began to twitch against his with each pull on my neck. "Stop!" I said a little louder as I felt myself riding that edge of orgasm. He pulled away from me with a loud cry, head going back on his spine. He released me suddenly and staggered back as I fell in a heap to the floor. I breathed heavily, eyes fluttering as my muscles spasmed, my whole body raging at the denied pleasure. I heard a slight thump and rolled my eyes up to see Kaname down on one knee, hand balancing him against the floor. He was panting hard, hair hanging around his bowed head as if he were fighting for control. I just lay on my side, watching him, waiting to have full use of my muscles again. He lifted his head to look at me and his wide eyes were glowing so bright, my blood trailing from the corner of his mouth. He lazily swiped it away with a shaking hand.

"I've never-" He shook his head and cleared his throat as if to rid it of the husky edge of sex. I watched him get on his knees and crawl towards me until he was right in front of me. He reached his hand out and I hissed as his fingers brushed the ragged edge of the wound he'd made, whipping my hand up to grip his wrist.

"Kaname-"

"I was not gentle with you. I apologize. I just...lost control." I held his wrist still but it didn't matter because he began to lean over me again. I thrust my palm into his chest weakly and he stopped. I shook my head, still panting.

"Too...soon..." Kaname frowned apologetically.

"I'm afraid that I was rough enough that I need to close your wound before you lose too much blood." My breath hitched but I could see the logic of his argument. I let my body go limp, arms falling back to the floor. He took that as an invitation to continue. I squeezed my eyes shut tight as his tongue began laving at the wound on my neck. I moaned softly when he delved his tongue into the deepest parts, digging my nails into my palms. He politely ignored my involuntary noises and by the time he was done closing my wound I was back to the sweating, twitching mass I had been. He moved back a few feet before plopping back onto his ass and folding his legs. He shook his head and showed me a goofy smile I had never seen on the man's face before.

"You should have warned me." He slurred.

"I did." He giggled, actually giggled! I frowned at him.

"You said your blood had a kick to it, not that it would knock me on my ass." I rolled my shoulder in an attempt at a shrug.

"Now you know." I mumbled, hauling myself to a sitting position against the wall with a grunt. My head still swam with the endorphins, body feeling light and fuzzy. We were both high on the feed.

"Why?" I didn't ask what he meant because I knew.

"I think it has to deal with the human genetic base and all the vampire boosters. Something about the combo really does it for vamps." He laughed until he fell back against the floor.

"Does it? Yeah, you could say that." I hauled myself to my feet using the wall as a support.

"You also shouldn't feel the need to feed again for some time, it varies depending on the vampire but usually it's around the two month mark."

"Mmmmmm...tasty _and_ more sustainable." I chuckled and shook my head. I left off the power boost part because I didn't need him walking around thinking he was the superman of vampire kind, even though he sort of already was.

"Don't get any ideas." I said as I began to round the door frame to leave. He laughed again.

"Cross." He called, stopping me. "Thank you." I tossed him a smile over my shoulder.

"No problem. Now go home, you're drunk" He dissolved into a giggling mass on the conference room floor and that was how I left him as I staggered back to my room for a shower. I suddenly needed to wash away the shit storm that the night had become.

 **Zero's POV**

Toga and I were talking about how we were going to arrange the schedule for the guards if we had to keep shifting it around.

"Mr. Moto raised a few very valid concerns-" We both stopped dead in our tracks as we saw Yuki high tailing it like something was chasing her. We both drew our weapons, searching the area for the threat but finding nothing except Twister running after her at a much more sedate pace. It was only then that I noticed the little queen wearing running gear. She was exercising. Toga and I simply holstered our weapons and began walking again.

"There were quite a few concerns that were not addressed due to the drama of the evening-" We both stopped again as we heard the sounds of flesh on flesh and the grunts that came with a good fight. Without a look we both took off running and I quickly out paced him. I skidded to a stop as I rounded the corner of the gymnasium. I frowned at the scene before me. Yuki and Twister were engaged in a fight, though the man was clearly distressed.

"I really must-" He grunted as she spun, delivering a kick to his stomach that doubled him over. He dove to the side before she could bring her knee up in a vicious move that would surely have rung his bell hard as fuck. Toga came up beside me, gun already in hand and in motion to aim. I knocked the gun from his hand before he could aim it at the little queen and her poor victim.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He glared at me but I didn't take my eyes off the vision of the two fighting vampires.

"It would appear that they are sparring." Toga scoffed and plucked his gun from the ground indignantly. He didn't say anything about me knocking his gun away because like me he knew that the first rule of owning/using guns was that you did not under any circumstances point it at anything you weren't willing to kill. I watched as Yuki moved in a blur of punishing blows that were so fast I could not keep track of them all.

"That is an ass whooping, not sparring." Toga said and I had to agree as we both watched Twister spin through the air and roll across the ground. I looked to Yuki as she stalked across the ground the wind whipping her long ponytail around her as she moved. There was no wind tonight strong enough for that. I moved in a burst of speed that put me in front of the fallen Twister. She stopped.

"That is enough little queen." Her eyes were a dim red and I knew I was right to intervene. She was losing control of herself.

"He won't fight back!" She nearly shouted. I raised an eyebrow.

"I can't imagine he would _want_ the death sentence that would come with such an action."

"We used to spar all the time."

"And now you are a blooming mother and to harm you is to sentence oneself to death. Doubly so since you are the queen." Her anger flared as a look of near panic came over her. "Unless he has done something to deserve punishment you need to can the whoop ass you're raining down on him." She bowed her head and nodded. "If you need something to beat on I will take his place." She whipped her head up and the shock on her face was nearly comical until a flash of hurt went through her eyes followed by guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Twister. I was not thinking." She called past me to the man on the ground. I moved so she could see him. He hauled himself to his knees.

"I can take it, my queen." She shook her head and turned away.

"You should not have to." She was gone, leaving a wind behind her. I turned to Toga who flung his arm in the direction she had disappeared.

"Well! Go after her! I'll stay here and tend to him." I turned and ran after her without another word. He was right. She should not be alone right now. Who knew what she might do. I sighed deeply as I ran. Who knew being on the queen's detail would include this much emotional babysitting? I stopped suddenly, scenting the air. Her scent was everywhere and I shivered as something tickled across my mind. I breathed deep the smell of jasmine and peppermint and shuddered as it reminded me of another smell, a similar one.

 _Her body was soft under mine, her dark hair splayed in a wash against the pale sheets._

" _Fuck me, Zero." She rolled her hips up into mine and my eyes slid closed, the scent of jasmine and vanilla filling my lungs, making me moan as I burned for her. I wrapped my arms around her small waist and lifted her onto my lap as I sat back on my heels. I hungrily claimed her lips, the taste of her driving me wild and the sensuous roll of her body against mine drawing a sound more animal than human from me as any restraint I had splintered away. She broke the kiss, throwing her head back as I drove my cock deep into her, both of us crying out._

I ripped myself free of the memory, staggering before falling to my knees. I was panting hard, cock stiffening from the physicality of it. What the fuck had triggered my flashback. My heart constricted within my chest at the memory of my first time with Inara. It must have been the jasmine. I shook my head and stumbled to my feet, still feeling her skin against mine. I gasped as the feel of magic flooded the air. I ran for the source of it, crashing through the trees until I skidded to a halt at the edge of the treeline looking in awe at what I was seeing. Yuki was standing in a sphere of water in the center of the lake and I could barely hear the sound of her scream over the rush of the water rising in giant towers and arcs that exploded like fireworks. I watched the display with wonder. I must have stood there for fifteen minutes simply watching Yuki play with water in ways I could scarcely describe, bending it to her will.

I watched as five giant pillars of water formed around her, shooting at least a hundred feet into the air, a roof of water spilling above her and growing larger like the pillars were feeding it. Finally the pillars were seemingly sucked up into the giant mass of water above her and I saw the moonlight dance through the swirling mass in a dazzling display before all that water exploded into a fine mist that rained down only over the lake. The whole scene shifted from an under the sea thing to something you might see once in a lifetime. A breathtaking moonbow arced through the rain she had created. The scene was spoiled as Yuki collapsed into the water, going completely under. I ran into the lake, swimming across as fast as I could and diving down where I had seen her fall, flailing blindly through the dark water for anything. It was her eyes that told me where she was and they were not stationary. She was swimming right toward me. I froze and waited to see what she would do. I watched those red orbs swim a circle around me before retreating to the surface. I followed her and found her already swimming toward the shore. I stepped out of the lake, watching her wring out her so long hair, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Are you mad? Don't you think it's a little chilly for an evening dip?" The slight fall breeze was suddenly exponentially colder. She turned and smiled at me, unzipping her form fitting jogging jacket to reveal a sports bra. She took off the jacket and tossed it to me.

"There. It's not much but it might help you stay a bit warmer." I glanced skeptically down at the small jacket and scoffed. Yeah, maybe my hands. It might make a good scarf. I slung the jacket over my neck as she began walking through the woods without another word and followed.

"So, what was all that about."

"Exercise." She said. I shivered in the cool wind but she seemed just fine in her tight yoga pants and sports bra. Exercise my ass. That was a lot of things, spectacular being one of them, but I knew what it really was. It was a release in a safe...beautiful way. She stopped and turned so abruptly that I almost ran into her. She stared up into my face from half a foot away with a grin.

"If you are that cold you can run back to the academy. I'm a big girl. I know my way back." I frowned down at her but couldn't manage to maintain the expression. I was too distracted by the way the water on her skin and breasts caught the moonlight peeking through the gap in the trees and the shine in her eyes. I cleared my throat and looked up and past her.

"I'll be fine." I mumbled. She laughed a high and delightful sound before whirling and taking off, running so fast that I almost didn't know what had happened, she just suddenly wasn't there.

I scrambled after her and cursed under my breath as the cold air whipped across my wet body, chilling me thoroughly. I stopped as I cleared the treeline to find her throwing her body around in an athletic display of cartwheels, somersaults, hand-springs, flips and whirls, rolls and a few very flashy martial arts moves that was all very impressive. I crossed my arms for warmth and once again watched her, listening to the shouts, grunts, yells and other noises that goes with a good exercise routine. _This_ was certainly exercise, to say it wasn't would be a lie. The way she bent, twisted and threw her body around it was almost like watching a dance performer, a very energetic one with a good base in martial arts. I wasn't sure whether she was closer to a fighter, dancer or gymnast throughout the whole thing because there was no rhyme or reason to anything she did. It was simply an explosion of energy and emotion. It wasn't until she began doing hand-springs towards the back of the maintenance shed that was nearest that I stepped forward. She was going to crash right into it if she didn't stop. Did she know she was about to crash into a building? I began running towards her but stopped as she came to a sudden halt right in front of the brick wall. She was breathing fast and hard, sweat gleaming along her pale skin as she placed a hand against the wall to steady herself. Her legs buckled and she crashed to her knees. I stood still, watching as she bowed her head under the weight of whatever emotion had made her do all of this. I was suddenly choking on my heart as she slammed her fists into the wall in a blur of speed twisting her body with each blow as if imagining punching through an enemy the way you are taught to in combat training. I ran forward and quickly wrapped my arms around her shoulders, lifting her completely off the ground and away from the wall. She didn't waste any words, she simply drove her elbow back into my diaphragm with everything she had, which was quite a bit. I instantly let her go and dropped to my knees, wrapping my arms around my waist as I struggled to breathe. Fuck! She had knocked the wind right out of me. I glared up at her finding her eyes wide and pain filled.

"I am so sorry. I just keep hurting those I care for tonight." I ignored her apology and looked down at the blood steadily dripping from her hands that she didn't seem to notice yet, but she would soon. Oh yeah, she'd regret going twelve rounds with a brick wall real soon. She flicked her eyes up to the moon above and her lips moved like she was offering a soft prayer before she stepped towards me and extended her hand. I raised an eyebrow.

"Can you stand?" Probably. But I don't think she even realized how bad it was going to hurt if I took her up on her offer.

"Yes." I said, voice a bit thick with the pain in my gut. She waggled her hand at me and I cocked my head, raising my eyebrow further, flicking my eyes down to her hand then back up to her face. She just stared at me patiently.

"Okay." I muttered as I slapped my hand into hers, wrapping my fingers around her much smaller ones. Her eyes flinched at the pain and I saw a muscle flex in her jaw but then her fingers gripped my hand back and she hauled me to my feet. She was a small thing but damn was she strong. I let go as soon as I could and she nodded just once before turning and walking back. I watched her for a few steps, smelling and seeing the blood dripping from her hands. She stopped and turned to me.

"I'll take my jacket back now." I reached up and was surprised to find it still around my neck before tossing it to her. She snatched it out of the air and turned to begin walking. I heard a ripping noise and knew what she was doing when she stopped again. I moved until I was beside her. She silently wrapped her left hand with the sleeve of her jacket, using her teeth to tie it off. Other than the tight line of her lips she bore the pain I knew she felt in silence without any other sign. She finished the other hand and slipped the torn jacket on and then we were moving again. I watched her all the way back to the star dorm wondering what drove this woman to do the things she did. She had surprised me so many times tonight I didn't think I could possibly be surprised again. When we swept through the front doors I saw Kaien walking along the second floor balcony, hair wet around his shoulders. I saw his eyes widen as Yuki continued moving for the stairs without pause like she hadn't noticed the man, and maybe she hadn't. I was once again wrong as she turned in Cross' direction at the top of the stairs, stopping several feet away.

"What has happened, Yuki?" She shrugged.

"I happened. I need you to do something." His eyes were wide, nostrils flaring as he scented the air.

"Anything."

"You need to reach out to a contractor and begin constructing a building at the outermost defenses of the academy in the woods. It should still be _just_ outside our defenses but as far from the academy as possible and include a fully equipped gym, a dojo for martial arts and hand to hand weapons training as well as a shooting range that has to be as sound-proof as the staff rooms in this dorm." I eyed the woman before me curiously. Toga and I had been discussing something similar earlier. Kaien raised an eyebrow but smiled and nodded.

"I was thinking something similar myself."

"Yes. We have to at least provide the illusion that the academy isn't our fort in the storm." He frowned as she walked around him and down the hallway. He turned so that he could watch her as she left him standing there. I too was watching her.

"She's grown into a rather amazing woman, my Yuki." I turned my head slightly to see a look of pride, love and admiration on his face. He suddenly turned a blinding grin on me. "Hasn't she, Zero?" I looked down the hallway at her receding figure and frowned slightly.

"I have no knowledge of the girl before the woman so I'll just have to take your word on that one." Kaien frowned and I saw that look in his eyes that most people at the academy had for me, the one that said they knew something I didn't, a lot of something that I _should_ know and it was weird that I didn't. You have no idea, buddy, I thought to myself as I began walking down the hallway.

"Zero." I stopped and turned my head enough to say I was listening. "Yuki is strong. Stronger than I ever imagined she'd be but she's going to need more than soldiers to get her through what is coming." I nodded. I understood that.

"I know. She may be queen, but even queens need friends. I just don't know if now is the best time for such things."

"There is no better time."

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one." I began walking down the hallway again.

"Help her, Zero." I smiled softly to myself.

"I thought I already was." I mumbled. I let myself get lost in the hallways of the dorm, not quite sure what to do with myself. I should probably go find Toga or sleep while I still could but I just wandered. I let my thoughts wander where they may, which more often than not was stuck between the human doctor who reminded me so much of Inara, the chaos of the coming months and Yuki. I kept seeing her face when she saw me curled around Nekohime, the strange mix of anger, jealousy and profound loss. Did she miss intimacy with her husband? I frowned at the thought of Kaname. What a dick. I wondered if he realized yet that his wife had outclassed and more than likely outranked him? Did she miss him or was that look...for me? The way she had reacted to me when I'd confronted her about my memory said a lot for the latter but then again I had been naked at the time. I might have reacted the same if she'd been naked and vindictively trying to seduce me. For a vampire she was pretty cute. _I_ more than likely would have reacted much less appropriately had our roles been reversed.

My mind flashed to what had happened earlier, the thoughtless panic behind the running and the ass beating she'd given Twister. The water show she'd put on followed by the run through the woods and all her crazy acrobatics. I saw the way the moon gleamed along her skin as her body twisted and flew through the night. I found myself grimacing as I remembered the way she'd pounded away at the wall like she'd tried to beat something into submission, or to death, something deep inside that there was no running from. Emotions were a bitch sometimes and whatever she was feeling, it was eating her up. I heard the soft sound of water lapping and smelled chlorine like a kick to the cerebrum, which is probably why I hadn't smelled her. As if my thoughts had summoned her there she was, feet dangling in the pool. She was still dressed in the yoga pants and sports bra I'd last seen her in. The pool was massive and in the ceiling above glowed the galaxy as one might see it over a Sahara and there were no other lights on, they weren't needed.

I blinked in awe as I suddenly felt like I'd been dropped in the middle of some insane fantasy movie. The ceiling was reflected in the enormous pool that occupied most of the floor so that there were stars and planets everywhere and somewhere in the middle of it all was Yuki, staring into the water completely lost in thought without a care for the amazing room around her. I watched her for a few moments before I walked around the edge of the pool to plop beside her, folding my legs as I looked around. She wasn't surprised by my presence, in fact she never budged. I sat beside her waiting for her to say anything at all but she seemed content to sit in silence. I scowled as I saw that not only had she not bothered to clean or bandage her hands but that they were worse now. She should be healed but instead her hands shivered in her lap from fresh abuse and the material of her yoga pants, that should have been dry by now, was wet. I was nose blind to anything but the overwhelming scent of chlorine but I'd bet money that wasn't pool water. Her pant-clad legs were in the pool as well as her running shoes.

"Little queen?" She turned her head slowly and her eyes were the last to move to me but she was now staring at me with those empty eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing as you, I suppose. Just thinking." She dipped her head as if that made sense.

"Lot to think about." Her voice sounded even more hollow than her eyes looked. What the fuck could be so wrong? I frowned and asked.

"What's got you so down in the dumps?" Her face never showed any emotion as she turned to look back at the water.

"War and death are feasting at my table and I've just piled on another course. I keep hurting those I value when they might be gone with the rise of the sun. I am knocked up. My husband is a childish ass-hat that I cannot divorce because of the politics I let him drag me into when I thought love was enough to get me through everything else. Take your pick, and if you don't like any of those I've got more." Again her voice was flat despite the sarcasm that the words implied. I felt my mouth pull into a small smile.

"So, basically you hate being queen, which is unfortunate because you're sort of good at it, and your husband." The barest hint of a smile quirked the corner of her mouth up and she shrugged. Not an answer but not a denial. "Do you hate him or yourself more?" She was quiet for a long moment.

"Why do you ask that?" I shrugged and looked up at the ceiling.

"How long are you going to let him believe the kid is his?" Her head whipped towards me and I rolled my head to eye her with a small smile. "I told you, don't treat me like a fool, little queen." I tapped the soft skin beside my eyes. "These eyes see a lot." She stared at me for a long time and even staring into her face for as long as I did I had no idea what she was thinking.

"If not his then whose child do you think I bear?" My eyes widened. All that time and this is what she came back with?

"I haven't the faintest clue, but I know it is not his."

"How?" I frowned.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out." That was the best I could give her. Yes, I had the way she reacted around him when the baby thing was broached for evidence to support my claim but...I couldn't explain it but I just knew. It was a gut feeling. I tried not to ignore my instincts.

"Surely you must suspect someone as the father." I cocked my head at her, face twisting with contemplation. Why did she care who I suspected?

"No. Should I? Why should it matter who I think the father is? Clearly you are maintaining this as a secret. My question to you is, how long are you going to deceive him?" She looked back into the pool.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because some deceptions are more easily forgiven than others." She took a sharp breath and held it for a few heartbeats.

"Which deception is greater, the one he dealt to me or this?" I shrugged.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Which one of you bears the most guilt. If you regret what you did, if there is only guilt when you think of the babe in your womb then I think you already know the answer." We sat in silence for a few minutes and then a question popped into my head.

"Does he know you slept with another man?" She turned her head to look at me, eyes firmly on mine.

"Yes." The word was cold and harsh.

"Does the father know?" Her breath hitched.

"He knows of the babe but not that it is his." Her voice was soft and the loss was there, but what was it for? And why was I even sitting here having this conversation? It was none of my business who had been between her legs or how she handled her personal life. As long as she was a good queen that was all that mattered. And yet I found myself asking another question.

"So you're hiding this from both of them? If they both know about the other than why hide it?" She searched my face for a moment with an odd expression on her face before she unexpectedly slipped into the water. I watched her disappear into the silvery pool of stars and waited for her to resurface. She popped up on the other side of the pool and hauled herself out onto the tiles, getting to her feet. I called out to her without moving, despite my urge to. "Why hide it, little queen?" She bowed her head and put her hands on her hips.

"Because if I tell Kaname he will try to kill the father of my child for something he doesn't know about." I shook my head and chuckled softly.

"And if you tell the father? Do you think he would want the child?"

"If he is the man that I hope he is." She began moving towards the locker room, probably for a towel. I don't even know why I asked my next question.

"Do you love him?" She went stock still. "Your child's father." She turned enough so that I could see the fire that lit her eyes and had my answer.

" _When_ I tell Kaname I hope he takes it well."

"And if he does what you fear he will?"

"I will kill him." I couldn't help the dumbfounded look on my face as my jaw went slack.

"Just like that? You'd kill him, your husband, just that easily?" She turned away and began walking towards the locker room.

"I love Kaname. I think I will always love him. I never said it would be easy but yes. I'd kill him." She opened the locker room door, spilling blinding white light in an arc through the room. "Just like that." And with that she disappeared into the light and I was left sitting by the pool, wondering how it was that I had come to be here for this conversation. I was staring at the door where she'd disappeared. She was such a curious woman.

I heard the soft thwap of something wet and popped to my feet, jogging to the locker room. I was blinded momentarily as the door hushed closed behind me, making my way quietly down the rows of lockers to the loud spray of a shower punctuated by that soft wet thwap. I rounded the end and hesitated at the entrance to the showers, not knowing what I would see. Yuki was making small pain noises that followed each small thwap and I knew what she was doing. I rushed into the showers to see her shoes, socks and pants strung in a line to the shower head she was under. Just as I suspected I found her punching the tile wall, blood trickling down the white of it like a grotesque explosion of color. I ran forward, wrapping my arms around her and lifting her off the floor. She growled in protest and began struggling to get free. My eyes widened at the thick trail of blood down the wall. I grunted as her struggling increased and put my back against the wall to steady myself. I wasn't going to let go until I was sure she was going to stop hurting herself.

"Let me go!" Her words came out as a bass growl, low and dangerous. I shook my head and swore as her head smashed back against my face and I lost my footing on the wet tile, slipping to the floor. I tightened my hold on her and wrapped my legs around hers to help hold her still.

"Not until you have your shit together." I said back. She fought to no avail for a while and then slowly she fell still, panting. When her body went completely lip against mine I still held her, just in case she was trying to dupe me. She was so still that I finally had to move just to see if she was still conscious. I leaned her upper body back so that I was looking down at her. Her incredibly long hair was plastered to her face. I gently pushed at the heavy weight of it, tucking it behind her ears until I could see the clean triangle of her face. She stared up at me with large eyes a rich golden-honey brown, if such a plain color could be used to describe a color so brilliant. I was suddenly struck by something that hadn't really occurred to me until just then. She was beautiful. She stared up at me as if trying to figure out what I was doing.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"The pain helps." I looked down at the hand that was spastically dancing against my knee, the other was against her stomach doing the same thing.

"Helps what?"

"It helps me focus when I am being yanked every which way possible." I watched her hands continually spasm and knew that there would be nerve damage and possibly a broken or, likely, shattered knuckle or two.

"I need to look at your hands." She made no move to fight me so I simply lifted her left hand gently and began untying the bloody rag that her makeshift bandages had turned into. I was gentle but somehow I doubted she would care if I squeezed her fucked up hands right now. When the sleeve fell away I quietly hissed, trying not to grimace at the red ruin of her hand. I could see the odd, pale pink bone of her first three knuckles and yes, one of them was shattered. The other was worse with two of her knuckles being practically non-existent. Why? How could someone do this to themselves? There was only one way that I knew of to heal this much damage. Yuki tapped my legs around her waist in a silent signal for me to let her up. I wasn't sure I should.

"Don't worry. I'll heal."

The regenerative powers of vampires, particularly purebloods, was nearly boundless but this would take a while to heal without help. I met her eyes and raised an eyebrow at the red threading through the gold of those large orbs.

"Let me up." I unwound myself from her and watched as she stood without hesitation and walked to stand beneath the shower head again.

She tipped her head back and ran her fingers through her hair, the water tainting pink as it pounded down on her open wounds. I flinched just watching this shit but she never made even so much as one noise. I hissed quietly as she lathered her hair with the soap from the dispenser on the wall. That _had_ to burn, but again she didn't react. The suds ran over her body but it was when she swept her hair over her shoulder that I had a moment of realization. She was still wearing underwear and showering. The thought was almost comical if I didn't notice the scars all over her skin. There were several huge ones on her back but there were so many scars, thin, ragged, smooth and rough, shapes and sizes of all kinds. She'd acquired all of this in six years? I recalled her speech from earlier about all that they had lost. The epic of her short time as queen, a time clearly written in blood, was in the scars painting her skin. The war must be vicious indeed. How much had she lost if this was what she had come away with? How many battles had she fought? I found myself looking at three long scars that ran down from her right shoulder blade across her spine to end on the left side of her lower back. It looked like something had clawed the fuck out of her. About four inches from where her heart would be was a rather large scar like someone had pushed a wine bottle through her.

"I usually have a three date minimum before men get to stare at me like that." I felt heat flush into my face and looked down at the tile of the floor. She chuckled softly but something about it sounded sad. "I need to wash my body, so unless you're going to sit there while I get all naked and soapy you need to go." I turned to look at her to see that she had poured her hair down her backside, hiding the scars, a move I am not entirely sure was unintentional. She had her face turned up into the stream of water, hands on the wall to support her as she let the water pound down around her. Something tried to tickle at my brain again but I quickly shoved it down, not wanting one of my flashbacks to further embarrass me. I stood, my clothes clinging to me like a second skin.

"I'll leave. After you've fed." She turned her face to me, water pouring down the delicately beautiful lines of it. I saw that the red had mixed with the golden brown until her eyes were an amber shot through with blood.

"You volunteering?" I stared at her for a few moments and without allowing myself to think about it too much popped the first three buttons on my shirt as I walked towards her. Her eyes widened and I watched her eyes glow with the rush of red, fangs sliding out slowly. I hesitated mid-step for only a second at the odd flutter in my stomach. I had my shirt halfway unbuttoned.

"Stop." She lisped around her fangs. I swallowed hard and frowned as I uncharacteristically found myself attracted to her. She was a _vampire_! I told myself. A pureblood to boot! I continued towards her with a renewed sense of purpose, peeling my shirt off and letting it fall to the floor with a wet slap. She shook her head and held out a hand. "I said stop, Zero." I halted only because of the frantic look in her eyes. What was she so afraid of. "You don't want this." I smiled.

"No. I don't particularly _want_ to feed you. However, you can either take what I offer and heal or don't and have your people see that." I pointed to her hands on the wall, still bleeding. A muscle in her jaw twitched as she ground her teeth. "Your choice. Though I don't think evidence of their queen's possible future breakdown would be very good for morale." A low growl trickled through the room and then I was staring up at her from the floor which just suddenly came up and hit me without me ever seeing her move. My heart was in my throat and I fought to simply lay there without reacting because this was what I had pushed for. She straddled me halfway up my chest and I couldn't help but to look up the line of her body, finding even more radical scarring, particularly the giant scar in the center of her chest that peaked over the top of her unusually low cut sports bra looking like she'd taken a shot gun blast at mid-range. Just beneath her sternum was a triple spiral that looked to be branded into her, the bottom part looking oddly smudged yet clearly defined still. There were plenty of scars to take in, and yet I found myself unreasonably drawn to the thin line just under her belly button that stretched from hip to hip looking like a massive surgical incision. Whatever blade had done that had been very sharp to make such a clean cut. I was suddenly staring into her face from inches away as she laid on top of me, breasts pressing into my chest.

"Now that I have you beneath me you suddenly don't seem so gung ho anymore." I could still taste my pulse on my tongue as I stared up at those swirling red eyes. I thought of a thousand things to say but I honestly didn't know if I would be able to talk at all right now so I just turned my head to the side, offering her my neck. Her breath came faster and I closed my eyes, waiting for the strike.

 **Ruka's POV**

I paced up and down the hallway having passed by my room at least a hundred times without going in. I didn't think I really wanted to go in there. Every time I saw my bed all I could think of was the night that I had fallen asleep cuddled so close to Kaien. _Headmaster Cross! Headmaster Cross! You have to use his appropriate title!_ I internally chastised myself. I forced my mind away from that night, had it really only been two nights ago? I shook my head violently and heaved a huge sigh. So much had happened, was about to happen, and I was going to be side-lined because...I stopped and looked down at the still damn near flat expanse of my stomach. Only the tiniest modicum of roundness was hinted and I noticed it solely because of the hours I had spent staring at the flesh in question. How could such a small thing be such a nuisance, and so untimely too? I know Yuki had removed me from combat and to my current position for the same reason she had removed herself. I knew this and yet still, I hated it. She needed a soldier, not a fucking party planner. I turned around and ran smack into Kaien and would have fallen in my haste to take a step back if he hadn't reached out and steadied me, eyes wide.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to startle you." I froze, feeling his hands on my arms like a bolt of lightning through my core. "Are you okay?" His eyes flicked over me checking for injury and just knowing he was looking at me had an effect. I shook my head and then quickly nodded before he thought I was hurt.

"What are you doing here?" He smiled and he was so beautiful that I was left staring open mouthed.

"Well, this is the hallway, isn't it?" Oh. Yeah, right. Hallway. Anyone could walk through. Why did he need a reason to be in the hallway?

"Y-yes. I suppose it is." I stuttered as if I were a brainless girl talking to a high school crush.

"I might ask why you are pacing up and down the hallway instead of getting some rest while you can?" I shrugged, which is when I realized he was still holding me. His eyes flicked down to where we touched and he let go, taking a step back. I missed the closeness of him immediately and almost reached out to him but ground my nails into my palm to resist the urge instead.

"I can't stop thinking enough to sleep." He chuckled softly and nodded, pushing his wire frame glasses up on his nose. Now why did I find such a simple gesture so cute? It was as if after all these years of not noticing him now that I did I saw everything about him, every word, action and look in high definition. Weird.

"I completely understand. If I were being honest I would confess that I am not here by coincidence. I came to check on you to see how you are feeling." I smiled softly at him as I stared up into the rich mahogany of his eyes with that brilliant golden ring around the pupil like the shine of the sun as the moon eclipses it. "Ruka?" I realized I had been staring.

"Yes?" He frowned slightly

"Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to say yes but that wasn't what came tumbling out.

"No."

"Do you need to see Ganash? I will get him back to campus as soon as possible." I shook my head with a smile at the blatant concern I heard in his words.

"It is nothing that a doctor can cure."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I didn't even hesitate.

"Yes." He watched me calmly as I walked the half a foot over to him and slowly circled him until I stood behind him. He was completely still as I reached up and slowly slid the hair tie holding his incredibly long, strawberry-blonde hair hostage down the silken length of that frustrating ponytail. I ran my fingers through the thick length of it all, spreading it around the mass of his shoulders. He shivered and I smiled, butterflies whirling through my stomach as I followed the collar of his sweater jacket down, parting it and drawing it off his shoulders and down the long length of his arms to let it fall on the carpet. He was left standing in a loose purple t-shirt that I found was very thin as I slid my hands over his hips and around his waist, barely separated by the nearly non-existent material. I pressed my body against the back of his, rubbing my face against the silk of his hair and breathing him in. A soft sigh escaped him as he shuddered at my touch, hesitating only a moment before running his fingers up and down my arms around him, leaving me with goosebumps everywhere. I had no idea why I was so bold with him but it was like I just had no stop, like the part of my brain that was supposed to object and keep my impulses in check just went on the fritz around him. I pulled back and walked around to the front of him to find his lips parted, eyes trailing my movements. I pressed my body back against his, running my hands up the firm lines of his back muscles to pull him closer. His eyes slid shut as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.

"Come to bed with me?" His eyes opened and I didn't miss the way his throat convulsed as he swallowed.

"I-" He cleared his throat before continuing, "I don't think that would be a good idea." I pouted as a genuine feeling of need swept through me.

"Please." I whispered, his eyes on mine were thoughtful as if he were trying to find any reason to walk away. I saw the exact moment he surrendered and didn't need to see the nod to know he would come with me. I stepped back from him and bent to snatch up the sweater I'd dropped before making my way down the hallway to my room. When he closed the door behind him he walked over to stare out the window while I got ready for bed. I came out of the bathroom smiling when I saw him still standing where I'd left him. He turned as I shut the bathroom light off.

"Are you going to sleep in jeans?" He looked down and smiled when he looked back up.

"If it is okay with you then yes. They are not nearly as uncomfortable as they look." They didn't really look all that uncomfortable. They were a soft, faded sky blue with tears in the knees, fitting loosely enough that they wouldn't be that uncomfortable to sleep in. I shrugged and crawled onto the bed.

"If you're going to be comfortable then I don't mind." Why should I? Although I couldn't help but wonder what was under them. The thought surprised even me. He slid out of his slippers and padded over to the bed. "Stop." I said quietly when he was at the edge.

He did and I crawled over to him. His eyes widened but he stood there and watched me come to him, very purposely keeping eye contact. I knelt in front of him and it was as if I didn't have any control over myself. I slid my hands under that thin purple shirt and up his sides, shoving his shirt up as I made my way to his shoulders. He raised an eyebrow at me but complied by silently lifting his arms. I had to stretch my body against his in order to get the shirt off, feeling him take a sharp breath. I felt him staring at me as I ogled him because there was no polite word for what I was doing. His muscles were so finely etched that I could trace the stitching of them over his ribs into the ten pack that delved into his jeans that hung sinfully low on his hips with a looseness that promised ease of access to the flesh beneath. I was thoroughly distracted by the v of his hips and the strawberry-blonde happy trail that disappeared beneath the damned denim. Was he wearing underwear? I shivered and sighed audibly.

"It has been a long time since anyone has looked at me like that." I felt heat explode across my face and began to retreat, stopping when his fingers gently wrapped around my wrist. "Don't be embarrassed. I think I like it."

I turned back to him with a shy smile on my face that made his eyes go soft as a quiet chuckle left his lips. I shuddered again. Damn! Under all those clothes was a weapon worthy of the gods. I was suddenly so very grateful he was a pacifist. I grinned at my line of thought and giggled as I fell back on the bed. He licked his lips and ran his eyes over the shorts and tank top that was my usual sleep wear.

"I, uh...um, I think I should-" He cleared his throat again.

"Just come to bed, Kaien." His eyes widened slightly and I saw him take a deep breath as he slipped his glasses off before he crawled onto the bed and fell on his side several feet away from me with his eyes closed like he could summon sleep. I tried to stay where I was but I couldn't keep my eyes off of him and my body itched to be against his. I was suddenly right in front of him, hand already playing in his hair, no thoughts included. I ran my nose across the ridge of his collar bone, breathing him in. My eyes closed as I let my breath out on a slow, shaky inhale. He smelled so good! He still smelled like the first breath of silence after the winter storm but now I smelled cinnamon too and the combination was intoxicating. His hands kneaded at my waist and he was gasping, which is when I realized I had been nuzzling his neck. Pleasure speared through me. I _really_ fucking liked hearing him gasp for me. He shuddered beside me and I slid my body against his, pressing my breasts into his chest as I bent my head to run my lips along his neck. His breath hitched again and I felt my fangs tingling with the urge to bite him. I kissed the spot I would bite if I did and hesitated, waiting for him to tell me to stop, before I ran my tongue in circles. His body twitched in response.

"Ruka..." He whispered. "I think I should...leave." Something tore through me that stole my breath at the thought of not having him next to me. More. I wanted more. I lightly dragged my fangs up the large vein in his neck. A voice in the back of my mind was screaming _hello! Impulse control! Do your fucking job!_

"Oh god..." He breathed, quietly panting. I dropped my forehead against his shoulder and fought for air, attempting to combat the urge to bite him. I knew what that cinnamon smell was now. He was turned on. Turned on for me. Oh god was right.

"Kaien-" I groaned and my voice was thick with need, the need to feed on more than just blood. His hand tightened where he gripped my side and he muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously close to _oh fuck_.

"Do it. Feed on me if you need it, Ruka." His words were throaty and I barely stifled the moan that tried to burst free.

"Kaien, I-" He turned his head a bit more, making for a better striking angle and I forgot what I was going to say. I plunged my hand into his hair and pulled him as close to me as I could. His breath was short and fast, going out on a small grunt of pain when I sank my fangs into him. I pulled hungrily at his throat and moaned in unison with him. Oh my gods! I had never tasted anything like his blood before. He tasted like something savory akin to an amazing steak with the heady kick of the best damn wine you've ever tasted, multiplied by some unfathomable number. He gripped me tight to him so that when his spine bowed I didn't tear his neck. His hand ran up the outside of my thigh, which had somehow wound up slung over his hip, kneading. It took no effort at all to roll him so that I now straddled his hips. He cried out and grabbed my hips to still them where they had begun to move on their own. I felt him hard and pulsing just beneath the jeans and I wanted him. I tightened my grip in his hair when he kept trying to throw his head back, not wanting to hurt him. His hands were tight on my hips, keeping those still but the rest of my body was writhing against him as I felt the orgasm building within me.

"Ruka...you have to-" He moaned loudly and his hips bucked up against mine. "Fuck!" He cried out. "Oh fuck! You have t-..." His whole body began vibrating against mine and hearing him moan and cry out just flat did it for me. "Stop! Stop or I'm gonna-" He sucked in a loud breath and his body tensed. _Come for me, baby._ No sooner than I thought it he screamed, spine bowing so that I rode his stomach as he clawed at the bed in his release. I sucked down the endorphins that flooded my system as a sort of side-effect of his orgasm, drawing closer to my own. He screamed my name, hips rolling, body bucking, every draw of my mouth bringing a fresh wave of orgasm. My world exploded out of nowhere forcing me to break from his neck or risk tearing his throat open. I threw my head back, using my hands on his chest to balance myself while I rode the orgasm, driving my hips against his. His hands found my hips again but instead of stopping me this time he helped me ride him, crying out beneath me as I yelled my orgasm. Something weird clicked into place and it sounded very much like a gear shifting. Kaien rolled me over and began rolling his hips against me. I _wanted_ him! I began fumbling to get to the button on his jeans. He was panting on top of me, staring down at my struggle. He shook his head and reached down to gently grab my hands, eyes fluttering.

"Can't...just went..." I grinned and then laughed as I pushed his hands to the side. I had his jeans undone and halfway down his thighs discovering that he definitely had not been wearing underwear which made me moan. I wriggled down between his thighs, forcing them as far apart as the jeans that rubbed across my breasts would allow. I didn't have the patience to try and get his pants completely off.

"Ruka-" He gasped and his hand plunged into my hair as I swallowed his half-erect cock.

I liked the feeling of men when they were soft, it made it easy to play with them. With how big he was while half-erect I knew it would take some work to be able to do this when he was rock hard. I rolled my tongue around him, sucking down the tangy sweetness of the come that had covered him from his release in his jeans. I rolled my eyes up to find him with his head thrown back to the sky. I had to be gentle with him because of the fangs but when my teeth brushed the base of him he cast wild eyes down at me that made me contemplate something I had never done before. I scraped lightly over the base again and he moaned, so I pulled completely off of him, watching his cock stiffen like magic before biting the flesh just above his hip, making him cry out, sucking long enough to get the endorphins flowing again before pulling away. I was going to try to suck him back into my mouth but he wrapped his hand in my hair and used it to yank me away from him and pull me none to gently back up his body before pushing me into the bed, falling into a push up position above me so that all that wonderful hair fell in a waterfall around his face and shoulders. I moaned as he hooked his fingers under both the underwear and the shorts and yanked them down my legs, not even taking a moment to take his own pants off before he slid his hands up my inner thighs, parting them. I yielded _more_ than willingly to him and was nearly begging for entry, rolling my hips up for him and moaning. His eyes were glowing with that dark light that any lover can get when they know they can have you and you'll do anything they want.

"Please! Kaien!" I cried out. He groaned and then I was writhing as he slipped inside me with a quick thrust of his hips.

"Oh fuck!" He moaned.

His eyes were wild now and I hissed in pleasure as he reached up and tore my tank top away, spilling my breasts free before he began thrusting into me in something I could only equate to dancing. I dug my fingers into his hips and thighs while he danced for me, hitting a spot at my entrance as well as one deep inside me with each stroke. The orgasm came out of nowhere, making me seize against the bed and scream his name. He suddenly deepened his thrust and began hitting that sweet spot way deep inside me that had me careening into oblivion again before I'd had time to come back from my first trip. He cried out above me and I felt his whole body quake with his orgasm Thrusting deep inside me one last time before falling on top of me so that he moaned into my hair while our bodies reformed after the implosion. He rolled off of me, making us both moan as he pulled out, falling onto his side and scooping me up with one arm so that I was nestled against the front of him. I don't know which of us fell asleep first but for the first time in...forever, I slept in the arms of my lover in complete comfort.

I woke to the pleasant ache between my thighs that said I'd had great sex and the solid warmth and smell of Kaien surrounding me. I frowned as I lay there, unable to place the reason I had woken up. The knock at the door was loud and impatient, like it wasn't the first time they had knocked. I felt Kaien's muscles tense and knew he was awake before he sighed into my hair. The next knock was louder, rattling the door with the weight of the blows raining down on it.

"Ruka! Are you in there? Open up!" Yuki's voice came to us and I felt the panic shoot through him before he broke from me and rolled off the edge of the bed, crashing to the floor.

I rolled to see him pop up and look around the room. His eyes fell on the bed and finally found me where he stared for a few minutes, taking everything in. His eyes were wide, lips parted, breath coming fast.

"Ru-ka!" She punctuated my name into two syllables, pounding on the door with each one.

His gaze flicked to the door and he turned to dart into the bathroom, tripping over his pants that were around his knees to fall on his face. I reached out to him as I crawled to the edge of the bed but stopped and shoved my hand against my mouth to stifle the giggle as I saw him attempting to frantically yank his pants up and fasten them while demonstrating his profound knowledge of the profane that fell from his lips. I burst out laughing as he popped to his feet only to be tripped again by the sheet tangled around them. He landed in a push up that reminded me of what we had done this morning, tightening things low in my body so hard and fast it drew a gasp from me. He kicked the sheet off his feet and spun in a crouch to look at me, head cocked to the side. I offered him a smile that showed how much I appreciated the view and how adorable I found him. His eyes slid closed as he scented the air and he shuddered, a gesture cut short by the incessant pounding at the door and Yuki's impatient demand for entry. His eyes widened and he looked around as if searching for an escape. I frowned but hiked a thumb over my shoulder at the window.

"If you are searching for an escape the window is your best option." He smiled at me and bounced to his feet, making haste for the window. "Though as soon as I open the door she's going to know what happened. What we did." He stopped and turned enough to look at me, eyes roving slowly over my very exposed body before licking his lips. He smiled shyly and turned back around, pulling the curtains open and flinging the window wide. I moved in a blur across the bed and grabbed his glasses, clearing my throat, wagging them at him when he turned his head to look. He grinned and darted forward, fingers wrapping around mine as he leaned in to me until his lips were an inch from mine.

"I will return to you later I just-" He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against mine. "I cannot have her find out this way." I frowned and slid my other hand along his jaw line. His lips were soft as they pressed against mine in a lingering, albeit chaste kiss that was all too fleeting. He stood up and darted over to the window where he crouched and turned to look at me. I smiled at him and laughed at the sight we made. We were like teenage lovers, sneaking out of the other's window so as not to get caught. He smiled brilliantly and I made a soft noise of surprise as his mouth suddenly pressed against mine. He kissed me several times, pushing me back into the bed. He broke away and sighed as he stared down at me before flinching a bit as Yuki announced she was coming in.

"I must go."

"Then go." I said, kissing him quickly and slapping at his shoulder playfully.

He grinned at me and then he was gone in a flash, diving out the open window without hesitation. I heard the knob turning and saw his oversized, thin, purple shirt along with the soft pile of his sweater from last night. I cursed under my breath and snatched both of the items off the floor, tossing them out the window and pulling it shut just as the door swung open. I turned to face Yuki as she stepped cautiously into the room. Her eyes wandered the room searching for me, taking in the fucked up bed with my discarded shorts and underwear flung haphazardly at the foot of it. When her eyes found mine they were wide and swirling red, mouth parted and breath coming too fast as she scented the air. I offered her a shy smile and shrugged, knowing she knew exactly what had happened and not knowing how exactly to explain it, or if I even needed to.

 **A/N- Alright guys, phew! This was a looooong one but I promised you an update much sooner than this, which I never gave. So, to make up for it I have given you the longest chapter yet. I tried my best to edit through it all but if there were mistakes I missed I apologize. I also apologize in advance for the shit I put poor Takuma through. Poor, poor Taki! *snifflesniffle* I do hope that this helps you bring in the new year with a bang. Lol. A lot has happened in this update and the metaphorical shit is about to hit the fan, so tell me what you think. I'd also be interested in hearing what everyone's new year's resolutions are. Mine are to get the novel I have been trying to finish** _ **finished**_ **and hopefully published as well as to graduate and officially be done with school and get a job then an apartment, or house (depending on whichever is the better investment) with my lovely fiance.** **Not too much. Lol! Have a great New Year smash ya'll and be safe!** **Please, don't be the first five minutes of Supernatural. Ta-ta for now, loves! ;-***


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